I woke up this morning to find my previous entry described as “disgusting”, “ridiculous”, “callous”, “contemptible”, and even icky by someone who I’ve previously had a pretty good relationship with. Maymay then went on to say:
You are the pre-eminent blogger about male orgasm control on the entire Internet, on par with Tom Allen. You are political whether you like it or not.
If you want to treat your sex life as wholly personal and not the least bit political, then you can not blog publicly. Otherwise, and I’m not sorry about this, you can’t have it both ways.
First of all, I have no idea if I’m pre-eminent. I doubt it, though I really have no idea. I suppose it’s a compliment, so I’ll take it as such. The idea that I cannot blog about my sex life if I refuse to politicize it, though, I have to totally reject. It is my sex life. Mine and Belle’s. Period.
I thought I’d take a moment to clarify your rights as a reader of my blog. You can ignore me, think I’m an idiot, agree with me, live your life according to my direction, find me entertaining or abominable, tell your friends about me or hide me in a box under your bed. You are free to feel anything you like about me. I have no product to sell so you don’t need to buy it.
HOWEVER, I am also free to feel whatever I want to feel. I am free to express myself in any way I like. I am free to contradict myself, be an ass, a saint, or a buffoon. That’s how blogging works. If by doing so I abdicate my position in the blogosphere, so be it. I cannot spend too much time thinking about how my words will be interpreted or if what I’m thinking or feeling or experiencing aligns with someone else’s conception of what’s Right or Proper. I have tried desperately to ensure that everything I talk about here is authentic and mine. I have achieved this with varying degrees of success, but will fail utterly if I start to color my words based on my “position”.
What I right yesterday? I don’t know. Will I feel that way next week? No idea. But it describes what I feel now, and really, that’s all this blog was ever meant to be. I am inclined to express the professional athlete’s absolution, “I am not a roll model”, but I don’t know. Maybe I am. In any case, I’m not perfect. I will never be beautified by anyone nor should I be.
You have the right to not read me. I have the right to say whatever I want. It’s as simple as that.