Following up on yesterday’s post, I’ve been wondering something.
Being diminished in that way really worked for me.
I like the feeling of being optional and a beneficiary of her charity.
I felt she knew exactly what she wanted for her and was in total control of how it happened.
And it was good.
And then in a comment:
If I can stay in the right frame of mind and recall the feeling I have right now, then completely severing any right of mine to her pleasure – to really and truly accept my role – could be revelatory and powerful.
What I wonder is if this isn’t where the cuckold fantasy comes from. It could be just a natural progression from…
- Learning to pleasure a woman without your cock, and
- Starting to think of her pleasure as your pleasure, and
- Reveling in her becoming more confident in finding a way to her pleasure that’s all her own, and
- No longer thinking of your cock as something that’s part of the sex she’ll have with you, and finally
- Learning to take pleasure in her pleasure regardless of whether or not you’re involved.
No, I’m not a cuck and Belle has never shown any interested in being with another man and I’m quite sure there’s a whole lot more going on in relationships where this has happened, but for me, I can see the path to the fantasy pretty clearly. I want her to be totally and completely sexually fulfilled. It has, truly, become the primary way I find my own fulfillment. I also have developed a taste for being treated quite unfairly. Even to the point of liking it when she belittles and humiliates me. I really like it. I can’t think of any more potent way to do that than taking another lover. A more satisfying one.
I have a bunch of fantasies that would never work outside my head. This might be one of them. But, the progression makes sense to me. Not that I’ll ever find out, of course, since Belle’s demonstrated zero interest in heading off in that direction.
That being said, if she was interested in plucking these particular heartstrings of mine, she was heading in the right direction the other night. Were she to remind me that, while I may be adept at utilizing the tools that lead to her pleasure, I’m not the actual implement of that pleasure. She used Pink during her night in the hotel spa just fine without me, after all. In fact, I’m not even capable of being the implement of her pleasure. I can barely last a full minute inside her now. There’s little chance I could satisfy her in the condition I most often find myself. She could remind me of that. How this cock I’ve given her isn’t much use for anything anymore.
It seems counterintuitive to treat your lover with such disrespect. It goes against everything you see in popular culture and learn through normal socialization. But, yeah. I get it. I really do.