Willing lab rat
One man’s humor is another’s rabid sexual fantasy…
The Onion: Investigation Finds Appalling Conditions In ‘Cosmopolitan’ Magazine Male-Pleasure Laboratory
Posts from the ‘Other’ Category
Jan 11
4 Comments
Jun 3
Oglaf
I have just discovered Oglaf.com, a humorous online sex comic (I was going to say “erotic”, but it’s too funny to use a word that serious on it). It is fantastic. How could you have kept it from me for so long!?
Here’s a taste for the uninitiated…
Cumsprites! How do you not love that?! Go ahead. Keep reading.
Mar 11
“The urologist is on his way. She says his name is Dr. Wang.”
All I’m going to say is, this is yet another thing a good chastity device can prevent.
Feb 15
chastity.xxx – UPDATED
There’s a new site called chastity.xxx on the web. Typically, I wouldn’t mention this (unless it was a really good site and this one’s not), but chastity.xxx is doing something patently sleazy.
First things first. I’m not linking to chastity.xxx because I don’t want them to see my site in their referrers (which is how I found them). If you want to see the site, you can type its URL into your browser the old fashioned way. Not that I think you should bother. It’s pointless.
Now, why do I think it’s sleazy? It’s not the way it advertises crappy chastity devices nor is it the tasteless click farm to various video porn sites (for which I assume chastity.xxx is an affiliate getting some kind of kick-back). No, it’s the fact that in the site’s main navigation, the blog link goes here and the forum link goes to Chastity Forums implying that I am somehow affiliated with the site or endorse it.
Neither is true.
If the owner of chastity.xxx is reading this, I would like you to immediately remove all links to my sites.
UPDATE: I’ve been told the owner of the site is someone who posts on Chastity Forums and is, by all accounts, a nice guy. That may be true, but I’d still appreciate having links to my sites removed. If I was listed among other sites in a blogroll kind of thing or as a resource, that’d be fine, but by linking to me from the main navigation, a relationship is suggested that simply doesn’t exist.
UPDATE 2: The links have been removed.
Jan 31
Always handling it up
Spam comment of the day:
What i don’t realize is in fact how you are no longer actually a lot more well-appreciated than you may be now. You’re very intelligent. You realize thus significantly when it comes to this topic, made me personally consider it from so many numerous angles. Its like women and men are not fascinated until it is something to do with Lady gaga! Your personal stuffs great. Always handle it up!
It depresses me to think someone might read that and think it’s real.
Jan 11
Spam attack
In one night, Denying Thumper has collected over 1,200 spam comments. The vast majority of them have been automatically quarantined, but maybe two dozen have made it through so that if I didn’t require approval for new commenters, they would have been visible on the site. I’m curious to know if this is happening only to DT or if this is a WordPress-level assault. Any other WP bloggers out there seeing massive amounts of spam today?
UPDATE: I neglected to say this is far more spam than I usually see. Like, 1,000 times more. It’s highly unusual and I don’t recall anything like it happening in the three+ years I’ve been blogging here.
Jan 9
The pits
Over the time I’ve been curating The Portfolio, I’ve come to realize that I have a serious thing for guys’ armpits. I don’t know that I’d go so far as to call it a fetish, per se, but when I see them they give me a funny little feeling in my stomach. More than a good set of abs or a nice ass or strong legs or even a big fat cock. Like, a lot more. So yeah. There’s something going on there.1
I rest my case. I mean, just look at those fuckers.
I followed a few tumblrs that were dedicated to male pits, but they don’t really do it for me most of the time. It’s not just any pits that make me wobbly, after all, and the editorial thinking for a lot of them seem to be, “Oh, there’s an armpit. Done!” So, in keeping with the web’s model of empowering self-publishing the work of other people, I decided to start my own site dedicated to just those pictures that show just the kind of armpits that get me going. It’s called Thumper’s Pit Stop.
There are still a few things I’m working out. Like, do I put an image I like on both tumblrs? I probably will if I like it for reasons other than the pits but also in addition to them. There are some images I leave off The Portfolio right now because they don’t fit its raison d’être (whatever that is — it seems to change from day to day and can only be interpreted by unlocking my deep reptile brain), so now an image that is nothing more than a gratuitous Portfolio-inappropriate pit shot has a place to go. Also, it will not always be the case that the pit or pits is/are the main focus of an image featured there. Only those that spoke to me in that fuckinghellletmeputmyfacerightinthere kind of way.
Anyway, if you dig dude’s pits, check it out. If not, skip it.
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1 I like girls too, of course. Let’s not forget. ↩
Tops of 2011
What the fuck does “top” mean? Most popular? Best written? Hottest? No, it’s more mundane than that, but it’s what I got. These are the posts/pages most viewed last year.
1. Liked links – The most popular thing on my blog is a list of other blogs.
2. CB-6000 tips & tricks – Thank you, Google.
3. Chastity devices – A post of posts.
4. About the bunny – I really should get around to updating that.
5. Steelheart vs. CB6K – There’s Google again.
6. Thumper’s CB-6000 tips and tricks – Curse you, Google. This is the post that was later revised and extended as the number two most popular page on the site.
7. Gone virtual – Finally! An actual post from 2011!
8. HNThumper XXVIII: Caged – A picture of me wearing the Jail Bird. I’m surprised it wasn’t an HNThumper that was the most viewed post. They usually do pretty good in the page view department.
9. HNThumper XXVII: Clean as a whistle – In which I show you how I clean the Steelheart whilst wearing it.
10. Steelheart Short – Shorty’s coming out party.
A few other 2011 tidbits…
- Denying Thumper started its fourth year on October 12.
- The post with the most comments was “The year of the rabbit”, but I don’t want to talk about it. I wish it was something else.
- The sites I sent the most clicks to (besides The Portfolio) were Chastity Forums and Keyheld. The blog most clicked-to was cricketed’s.
- The top search terms people used to get here (besides variations on the name of the blog) were cb6000 (in various flavors), male chastity blog, steelworxx, birdlock, and jailbird chastity. Shocking, I know.
- The number of spam comments I received was 14,161, of which 708 were not automatically caught and destroyed. Twenty-four were missed and six non-spam comments were identified as spam anyway. That’s an accuracy rate of 99.8%. Nothing to complain about there.
- Top commenters were Rougue Bambi, Tom, Dev (no, not that one), Mykey, and Celtic Queen. My peeps.
We now return you to our regularly scheduled orgasm denial…
Dec 17
The one in which I compare and contrast the asses of Tom Cruise and Daniel Craig
Daniel’s, as highlighted by the leather chaps he was wearing in Cowboys and Aliens, is very fine while Tom’s, as highlighted by his too tight jeans in Mission Impossible 4, is just kinda fat.
Om’s lessons
Om Malik is maybe one of the most famous and prolific bloggers out there. I admit I don’t read him that often, but I know who he is. The reason I mention him is because he, one of the most famous and prolific bloggers out there, has been blogging for 10 years and, few days ago, wrote a recap of his decade of blogging and included a list of lessons he’s learned. While our blogs are not comparable in any way (except that they’re both blogs), I thought that his lessons were worth passing along for others. Here they are along with my own comments.
1. Blogging is communal: In 2008, I wrote that “blogging is not just an act of publishing but also a communal activity. It is more than leaving comments; it is about creating connections.” That is the single biggest lesson learned of these past 10 years. Every connection has lead to a new idea, new thought and a new opportunity.
I have enjoyed making connections with the readers of my words more than I would have expected when I started. I also like being in a community of others who write about what I write about. One of my favorite parts of blogging is being able to bounce off something another person wrote (either on their own blog or in my comments).
2. Being authentic in your thoughts and voice is the only way to survive the test of time.
Maybe the best of his tips, and especially applicable in the particular seedy back alley my blog inhabits.
3. Being wrong is as important as being right. What’s more important — when wrong, admit that you are wrong and listen to those who are/were right.
Yes. If I were ever wrong, I’m sure I’d admit it.
4. Be regular. And show up to blog every day. After all you are as fresh as your last blog post.
This one, I suppose, could be somewhat controversial. I think one should only blog when they have something to say, but I also agree that blogging once every three months is not the best way to do it. I know as a reader of blogs that irregularity can be somewhat disappointing.
5. Treat others as you expect yourself to be treated.
That’s just good advice all the way around. It’s especially a problem on the web.
6. (In 2006 I wrote this and it is worth repeating) Doc Searls once told me, and it has been one of the guiding principles for me: blog if you have something to say and respect your reader’s time. If you respect their time, they are going to give you some time of their day.
As a blogger, the line between writing for myself and writing for my readers is not always bright and clear. It’s true that I’ve sometimes thought about hanging it up (or, at least, felt like it), but seeing all those little eyeballs showing up every day has motivated me to keep going. That said, it’s also the case that I’ve started a lot of posts only to kill them before they see the light of day because they’re pointless (chastity blogging in particular can get repetitively dull after a while and blogs on the subject seem to burn brightly yet briefly in general). Blogging, I find, is like working out. The more you do it, the more you want to do it. If you take a break, it can be hard to get back into the swing of things. On this blog, if I write, it’s because I wanted to. The challenge is finding something to write about that I think is worthy of your time to read. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t. Hopefully, when I don’t, I recognize that and you aren’t forced to wade through it.
7. A long time ago, Slate’s Farhaad Manjoo asked me for some tips on blogging and here is what I told him – Wait at least 15 minutes before publishing something you’ve written—this will give you enough distance to edit yourself dispassionately.
Good practical advice. I often let a post sit for a while before publishing it. When I don’t, I invariably wish I had. I also read them several times, both in the editor and in preview. And still there are typos…
8. Write everything as if your mom is reading your work, a good way to maintain civility and keep your work comprehensible.
Well, obviously, I can’t do this, but if we lived in some alternate reality where a mom could read her son’s sex blog, I would hope that I’ve followed the spirit of the statement.
9. Blogging is not about opinion but it is about viewing the world in a certain way and sharing it with others how you look at things.
I love this one. It summarizes how I approach my blogging here perfectly. It’s an attribute of all my favorite blogs I had never realized before.
The tenth lesson comes from Kevin Kelleher when he was writing for us back in 2010. In his post, How the Internet changed writing he noted:
Many bloggers tailor headlines and posts so that they’ll surface at the top of search results, making them at once easier to find and less enjoyable to read. And this decade, a lot of other bloggers mistook a strong writing voice for caustic irreverence. But most eventually learned that writing with snark is like cooking with salt — a little goes a long way.
If anything, avoiding that trap Kevin mentioned is the biggest lesson of them all.
Well…it worked for Bitchy Jones, didn’t it?
