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Posts tagged ‘chastity’

Feb 3

5 Comments

Mike’s tip

A note from a reader:

i saw your steelheart blog and decided to get one. Got it last week and love it. But i have had it one for two days now and i seem to hur just a bit near head of penis and pa ring, did this happen too you. If so did it go away after a few days. i really want to keep it on and dont want my partner to take it off for a while so please let me know what you think. i found you on facebook and sent you a message there also. i just sent my email to follow your blogs. Enjoy reading them. Thanks, mike

Is it like a rubbed raw kind of thing? That can happen from time to time. The last time I had that problem it was because I was wearing the larger of the two A-rings we have which caused the tube to sit a little lower and rub a part of the penis it usually didn’t.

You need to take to a new device slowly. I know how much you want to keep it on right now, but you also need to listen to your body and let it adjust. Ignoring those signals will cause you more pain and a longer time out to recuperate. My advice: Take it off for a day or two until the part that hurts stops hurting, then put it back on. Eventually, your dick will accept its fate.

Jan 30

3 Comments

Viewer mail

I know, you’re not really viewers, you’re actually readers. Whatever.

Ive been reading your blog on and off again for a couple years now.  Great reading.

A question for the steelheart: does your pa ever get caught between the tube and the retaining bar?

I’ve owned a cb3k and switched to the 6k a while back. I have the security cable from keptforher and when I used as instructed, it caused some bleeding from my pa not being able to move when flaccidity set in. So I thought, put the cable in the inside. Works okay, but as the ring rides the cable down and I get hard again, sometimes it will catch around mid tube and as I keep growing it can be painful. Lately I’ve just been putting on more lube and it works.

I’ve had my eye on the steelheart when i read about it on your blog. Wife loves the look of it. Just haven’t taken the leap to buying one. Don’t want the back and forth to Germany if something goes wrong.

Thanks for the blog. Insightful.

Short answer, yes, there is occasional pinching. Since I can’t see what’s going on in there, my guess is that some portion of foreskin remnant and/or the little strip of meat between the PA and penis slit get’s trapped between the bar and the tube wall. This is most annoying in the early AM hours since it’s all too compressed to do anything about, but when the internals are depressurized, usually all it takes is a pull and a twist (in one direction or the other) to sort things out.

My experience with cables is much the same as yours, though I never bled. I also experimented extensively with different types of cables and varying lengths and even putting it inside, but it was never good. I think the biggest diference between the cable inside a CB6K and the bar inside the Steelheart is that there’s just more room in the Steelheart tube. It’s cylindrical rather than oval and things can move around in it more easily. As you’ve found, the ability for it to move along the fixing and not be stuck at the end of the tube is critical.

The going back to Germany thing is a pain, but the end result is really worth is. You may want to consider Mature Metal if you’re concerned about the back and forth, though they don’t have a model equivalent to the Steelheart. Which is a nice segue to the next question…

I’ve been following your blog for some time, and am using the CB3000. I do feel like swapping out to the steelheart like yourself.

Should I base the dimensions on my CB3000 fit? I’m not sure if I make it too small, and when my buddy turns super horny?

Can you give me some suggestions?

If you haven’t already read Steelheart vs. CB-6000, you should. There’s all kinds of stuff in there for people in your position.

I ordered my original SH according to my CB6K fitting and it turned out way too big. Both the A-ring and the tube. I eventually got a smaller ring that would have been nearly impossible to wear had it been multipart plastic. I can’t explain this definitively, but I suspect that the combination of how the steel interacts with skin (less grippy) and the less severe shape (not squared off) make the SH ring significantly more comfortable (the same would be true for any steel device, not just the SH).

For me, the difference was 5mm in the A-ring. I wore the 45mm combination in the CB6K and have a 40mm ring on the SH. I think you could easily knock 3mm off from your plastic fitting. With regard to the tube, it’s not so easy. That’s a more customized thing. I think the best measuring advice I’ve seen is on the Mature Metal site. Remember that a tube which allows for less growth of your erection is, in my experience and as illogical as this sounds, more comfortable.

Princess Annie (whose blog you should check out), asked in an email:

Thumper, this is one of my central questions. How do I know if my boy, my pet, has ejaculated without me? He could lie – you could’ve lied. I can act like I will know… but I wouldn’t really. hmmmm…

Tricky. My answer is, if he’s a good actor, you can’t know. Absent a secure device, there’s just no telling. You have to trust him and he has to commit to accepting the control he’s presumably give to you. There are times when he’ll be weak and will succumb to temptation. We’ve all been there. If and when those times happen, he will need to be honest with you and admit them as soon as possible. If he doesn’t, then he’s not a good fit for that kind of relationship.

Practically, you need to be a keen observer of his personality. What is he like when you know he’s been chaste? What is he like after you let him come? That kind of thing. Other than that, I’m afraid I don’t have much for you.

This one was submitted via The Portfolio:

Hey Thumper. I always enjoy your Portfolio and I have wondered about the mix /selection of pictures as it relates to your chastity lifestyle. Do you know the ratio of heterosexual images vs. homo erotic images? Do you find that you post more homo erotic images the longer you are locked up? Or do you find that the less attention that Belle is able to give you the more you fantasize about guys and pegging and the like. – Just Curious

Regarding the mix of hetero vs. homo imagery I post from day to day, to be honest, it really depends on what I find on my dashboard in the morning. I follow 366 372 different Tumblrs of all kinds and some days the mix is heavier on the boobs and beavers and some days it’s more cocks and hanging nutsacks. I try to keep things mixed up, but I only have so much time in the day to look at porn (alas). I don’t know the exact ratio, though it’s probably slightly more gay than straight. For whatever reason, gay porn has always been more stimulating to me than straight so I’m sure it gets favored over time. However, with the addition of the Pit Stop, I’ve found some male images going there rather than on The Portfolio (meaning the female ratio should be going up).

Regarding how my chastity affects what I post, I know it does, but I’m not sure I can tell you how exactly. I post more the hornier I am. I think I usually post more graphic images when I’m really in the soup than at other times when I might favor more arty compositions. I think I end up feeling more crude and base. I’ve written before that being locked up makes me more fascinated with pictures of cocks. I get kind of entranced by images of guys jacking off and I’ll watch a whole video only to see the shooting at the end (though I try to never post an image of a guy coming on The Portfolio). I always vacillate in the middle of the Kinsey scale, so I don’t know how I feel is different or the same as other guys, though anecdotally, it seems as though chastity and long term denial can make nominally heterosexual men more interested in images of other men (which supports my contention that all people are, if only a little, bisexual).

Jan 15

6 Comments

Compression

Dutchbound said:

Hey Thumper – I’m very excited to hear that you got a trainer and look forward to reading more. Now, we can look forward to, and benefit from, Thumper-analysis (Thump-alysis??) of what it is like to not only workout frequently while locked but also how to manage the bulge in workout gear in a public setting. I’ve been working hard to manage those logistics myself.

I start the routine tomorrow so I can’t yet speak more than I already have to that, but I can add some insight into the “bulge management” situation.

Part of me want to say fuck it and bulge naturally, but perhaps a modicum of discretion is required. This morning, I was stretching in the workout pants I’ll be wearing while training with a “fashion” jock on underneath. I say fashion because it was sold though one of those underwear sites that has all the buff dudes modeling them and is as much a soft-core porn experience as it is for shopping. This particular pair I like because they have a generous pouch (to give that “no underwear” look) that’s not too constricting. They are definitely not concealment wear.

Anyway, during the leg stretching, the jutting steel bullnose was amply visible. While wearing my usual best concealment underwear when with the trainer was an option, they’re all high and tight cotton briefs and didn’t seem right to get all sweaty in. Therefore, a trip to Dick’s Sporting Goods was in order (yeah, I know).

What I settled on was a couple pair of Under Armour compression shorts. Note that there’s a couple different styles of these, if you’re thinking of getting them. One style — the kind I got — is made of the same super-stretchy material throughout while the other has a more breathable (and less compressing) crotch panel. Those didn’t seem to do a thing to help conceal. The more concealing style, as you can see, isn’t exactly the sexiest things you’re ever going to find me in, but that’s not what I got them for.

Once home, put them to the test. I put them on along with my workout pants and went through the stretching motions. I found that the visible bulge of the Steelheart was reduced by about 50%. There’s still a little bump there that’s not entirely natural looking, but it’s far less noticeable than it had been earlier in the day. The proof will be how they are to work out in. They push the whole package down and that puts extra pressure against the otherwise abused and disrespected nutsack, but it’s hard to know if it’ll prove to be too much. I guess we’ll find out tomorrow.

Jan 14

10 Comments

A different kind of training

Every muscle in my body aches. Even ones I forgot I had. Even ones I didn’t know I had. Maybe even some I don’t have.

I’ve decided to start seeing a personal trainer since, over the past couple years, I’ve allowed myself to get to a point physically that I’m just not very happy about. I’ve also noticed, now that I’m solidly into my forty-fifth year, that things don’t work as well as they used to. I’ve lost strength, stamina, and flexibility and I’m just feeling old. I’m too young to feel old. And yes, while it is January and all kinds of bullshit resolutions are made at this time of year, I can say that had little to do with the timing of this decision. I’ve been thinking about it for some time and simply finally got around to it.

So I met with the guy Friday morning. He’s the proprietor of a small gym near our house and our first meeting was so he could evaluate my sorry condition. The guy is massive. Not big like a muscle bound linebacker, but proportionally huge. As if he’s been genetically manufactured to be a new kind of superhuman. He’s a former basketball player and has got to be at least 6’10″ tall. Being from West Africa, his skin is very dark. He’s bald and has arms as big around as my thighs. Practically. Either way, he’s an intimidating specimen. Being six feet tall myself, I’m unaccustomed to being around people significantly taller than me, let alone guys I need to crane my head up to look at.

Of course, it’s like he walked straight out of some cuckolding wank story. I admit that the question of his endowment was often in my mind. But that’s me. A pervert.

Anyway, this was just a short evaluation session, but it still kicked my ass. He had me doing lunges, squats, jumping jacks, leg presses, and this sit-up-catch-and-throw-a-ball exercise. All that after he told me I had the hamstring flexibility of a 300 pound guy. Nice. And yes, all this was done while locked up.

I was’t sure if I would need to be unlocked to work out with him so I didn’t ask Belle to let me out. The only time it may have been visible was when he had me flat on my back and was holding my leg straight up and pushing it forward in, I assume, an attempt to rip it from my body. I’m fairly certain a somewhat out of place bulge may have presented itself then and I may have even seen him glance at it, but honestly, the searing pain of the ordeal has clouded my memory. There were no issues after that, though, so I’ve decided to continue on without special access to the penis and see how it goes. Besides it becoming visible, I don’t think there will be a practical reason to remove it. It won’t get in the way of any exercising I can think of and wasn’t at all uncomfortable during or after. Asking for access to the key would be all about vanity and that doesn’t seem like a good enough reason to me. I’ve decided that being locked up is who I am and how I live so I won’t let something like an occasional unusual bulge change that.

While this is a sex blog, not a workout blog, I have to imagine that as this new endeavor unfolds I will bring it up often. I will be seeing the trainer (either the massive black guy or his more reasonably-sized assistant who just happens to share my first name) three times a week. The device may or may not become an issue, so that would be a germaine DT topic. Plus, as I get into better shape, my body image may return to a point where I would feel comfortable sharing HNTs of something other than the penis and its steel tube.

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Between now and then, it’ll just be nice to have a place to whine and/or talk about how I’m less of a giant white lump than I used to be.

Jan 1

1 Comment

Control

First off, happy new year, everyone!

In response to yesterday’s post, Celtic Queen said:

It’s not so much the absence of orgasm that drives my hub but the control he has handed over and the randomness with which he is allowed to orgasm. He says he feels “lost” without the device, uncentred and unhappy and hates the feeling of his penis re exerting control over him.

Of course, it’s going to be somewhat different for everyone. I agree that the lack of control aspect is key. I don’t know that I could (or would necessarily want to) do this by myself. Belle is clearly the controlling partner when it comes to the penis and what I get to do with it and that’s pretty awesome. I suppose control and denial are not welded together and that either are valid dynamics alone or in combination with other aspects. Yesterday, I was only addressing the denial part since it’s the thing that’s been missing for the past month. Obviously, I’m happiest when they’re served together.

Speaking of which, I know there must be many men reading this blog who wish they were being controlled and denied by their partners (or, conversely, some women who wish they could talk their men into being denied and controlled). I think that limiting a man’s sexual release to only those times he’s with his partner (or has explicit permission by them to do it himself) is a really valid alternative to chastity as Belle and I do it. While I’d lose interest in the dynamic as soon as I came, it was only a matter of a few days or so before I was interested again and, therefore, interested in her. While I was still coming, I was still dependent on her for the pleasure. I think a guy who hasn’t been able to get his wife interested in control and denial would be well served by living as if he was anyway. That is, don’t come when you read the chastity porn. Reserve that for when you’re with her. For a woman in a similar situation, this kind of arrangement might be less intimidating for her guy.

Anyway, I also totally get CQ sub’s point about feeling lost without the device. I’ve written several times how I feel incomplete when I’m not wearing it. I haven’t worn it for like six weeks and I’m really ready for it to return. I suspect it’ll be tricky readjusting (and not just mentally), but I’ve missed it. I thought about asking for it yesterday, but she said Sunday so I didn’t.

What day is it again?

Nov 12

18 Comments

Escape Proof

While drying off from my shower this morning, I decided to make the attached video to demonstrate how inescapable the Steelheart Short is with its continuous PA fixing in place.

As you can see, pull all you want, there’s no way out of this thing.

For the overly geeky in the crowd, this video was produced entirely on an iPhone 4S using iMovie.

Oct 11

4 Comments

Clarification

Celtic Queen, in response to my last post, left the following comment:

Thumper, this sounds like a trite question (it isn’t meant to be) but are you happier as a person now?

Put another way, did control of your sex make you unhappy?

Then Chaz added…

You state that your OK with it. I think those that say you are trained might offer congratulations, yet I get more a sense of resigned acceptance from this post. It almost has a BCWYWF feel to it. I would echo CQ’s comment. Are you happy? You say you have changed, I would like to ask is it change for the better? Are you a better husband lover friend father? “BROKEN” as a title I would take to mean your will, but could it refer to something that needs to be fixed?

As I started to formulate a reply, I realized I might need a little more room, so here we are.

Starting at the end and with the title “Broken,” that was just a play on words. I used the “broken horse” metaphor in the post to describe how I was feeling about my sexual urges and it was a reference to that. Also, as I alluded to in the post, “broken” might have been how I would have described those feelings at an earlier stage in our dynamic. I wasn’t trying to say I was broken or my sex drive was (hell no!) or we were or anything ominous like that.

With regard to resigned acceptance, I guess that’s not an inaccurate description. What other option do I have? I could rail against my confinement and the generally low level of sexual activity we’ve had lately, but to what end? To put extra pressure on her? To make her feel guilty? To suggest I want out of the device and from under the dynamic? I don’t want any of those things. Hell yes I want more sex, but the timing wasn’t right and no matter how horny or frothed up I get, there’s nothing I can do about it. So yes, resigned acceptance. Acceptance that being the object of long-term enforced chastity isn’t always a crazy pornfest type of existence. Sometimes, things don’t work out how you’d like them to. You might be able to characterize resigned acceptance as negative, but you might just as well call it a healthy frame of mind and more productive than moaning and pissing about my grievances.

With regard to the “be careful what you wish for” vibe, yeah, totally, I was going for that. I can remember how incredibly turned-on the idea of chastity made me even when I was actually in that kind of relationship. I can remember how surreally horny I used to get and hopped up on hormones I’d be. This, though, is perhaps what the long tail of chastity looks like. Once your body adjusts and the new device smell goes away, you have to figure out a way to live with it. Be careful because sometimes it’s not all that hot. Sometimes, it’s freaking boring.

Am I a better “husband lover friend father”? I would really have to let Belle answer that, but I think I am a better husband. I think I was already a pretty good lover, though now I’m not able to use the penis on her in the way I know she likes. I was already very attentive in bed. I’d say that’s a push. Better friend? No, we’ve always been good friends. Better father? I’m not sure any of this has impacted that aspect of my life much at all.

Now, am I happy? That’s a bit trickier.

CQ asked, “Did control of your sex make you unhappy?” In a way, yes, because control of my sex led me to cheat on Belle. But, larger than that, control over my sex also led me away from her as it was easier and more convenient to pleasure myself than to seek that pleasure from her. I’m not making that “masturbation addiction” argument as I think it’s crap, but had I been able to jack off at will over the past few weeks, I wouldn’t be at all drawn to Belle for my needs. And isn’t that pretty much the entire point of enforced chastity? To bring a couple together so they can enjoy sexual intimacy only with each other and not by themselves? That morning we finally had sex was fantastic even though I was fucking horny as hell and left literally dripping with desire afterward.

No, I won’t say control over my sex left me unhappy, but having her control my sex does make me happier more often than not. Nothing in this world in perfect. There are no silver bullets. Living as I do is the same. There are good days, there are bad days. There are fucking amazing days, there are god awful days. In balance, though, I am where I want to be.

So, as a coda to my previous post, I should say having that one sexual session has changed my attitude remarkably. I’m feeling much hornier and more connected to my desires than I was before. Even to the point that holding the device in my hand as I clean it makes me think so much about what it means to have it on that it fills up with chubby penis meat and I can’t flush water through it. I’ll find myself fingering the hard ring under my waistband and, again, the stupid penis will try its best to plump out.

I am denied. My sex is totally controlled. And I am so fucking turned on by that.

Sep 26

1 Comment

Fitting advice

Last month, reader Chris asked for some Steelheart buying advice. He’s back!

An update: I’ve been wearing the CB6000s for a few days now and it is a tighter fit for sure…

I bet! I never got a CB6Ks tube because I misunderstood why one would want it. I would ask if it was better or not, but then you said…

But my erections now seem to just push the entire device fwd so that the A ring slides up the shaft and pushes the balls forward. It’s uncomfortable to wear the device when the ring is not at the base of the cock but riding up it instead.

Is there a solution for this? Is it likely that the cock ring is too big? I’m using the middle sized ring and second to smallest spacer… I can fit into the next ring down but its rather tight and I can’t wear it for long… it can be painful at times and feels too tight

Do you have any secrets for keeping the ring in place and/or readjusting when it slides up?

Are you using lubricant at night? It doesn’t work miracles, but lubed is vastly better than not. How long have you been wearing a device? I don’t think you mentioned in your first note. Based on my experience, I’d say your scrotum hasn’t yet adjusted to being an anchor. As I’ve said in the past, my scrotum stretched over time. At the very beginning, the stress on my nuts was very painful (exacerbated, I think, by the sharp edge on the CB6K cuff). Now, they’re much more “relaxed” and the erection doesn’t pull on them any longer.

But does that mean your ring’s too big? Hard to say. If you can’t wear the next size down without discomfort even when flaccid, then you’re in the right one. You should be able to hook your pinky in there when soft. Remember that over time, the smallest ring  you can wear will change. It kinda sounds like your ring is a tad too big, but if the next one’s too tight, you have to wait until your body changes enough to allow you to wear it. This doesn’t go on forever, of course. There is an absolute smallest size you can wear and it’s probably not the smallest ring that came in the box.

Recently, I switched to the larger of my two Steelheart rings. My usual one is 40mm, the big one is 45. Since then, I’ve found that the device rides lower all the time, which would be expected, and is surprisingly more noisy (what with the PA ring clanking around inside), but I seldom wake up due to erections. In fact, the entire sensation of being hard in it is quite mild. Confined and nicely tight, but not uncomfortable. In the smaller ring, the erection is constricted more and the erectile tissue balloons out behind the device inside my body. The upshot of that is that it then tends not to pull on my balls as much. In the larger one, I get something much closer to a proper stiffy and find about 2/3″ of erection outside the device behind the ring. It still bulges a bit inside my body, but not as much. Long way to say, if your device has too big a ring, I might expect it to fit more like mine (and it sounds like it does), but I’d also expect it to be more comfortable. All bodies are different, especially when one’s been locked up for three years and one hasn’t, and the CB6K is not going to sit the same way the SH-S does.

I know this all makes fitting a device sound incredibly complicated, and I guess it is to a point. There’s only so far one man’s experience will get you before your own specifics get in the way. If only I had a lab full of men to test on.

Hmm. Now there’s a thought.

Thanks for everything… your blog is a great resource.

We aim to please.

My situation in many ways resembles yours. Except I have a wife AND a girlfriend that both serve as keyholder.

Whoa there, pardner. You have two women locking you up? You know what they say. Pictures or it never happened. Minimally, you need to provide more details about how that works.

Sep 24

3 Comments

Tale of the tape

It’s been a month now since I came in that nice hotel room all by myself and against the rules. Well, not so much against the rules. More like against The Rule™. Belle says I have just one more night of having to sleep with clothes on but at least two more months before she lets me come again. Just this morning, right after she came, in my charmingly squirmy and needy way, I asked he if she was craving the feeling of her husband inside her. She said yes, but that was too bad. I had, after call, come without permission. Then she laughed at me. Ah, love.

There’s really not much else to say around here. Belle was having her period for a while and then I had a very minor medical procedure that nonetheless messed me up for a day due to anesthetic. There’s hasn’t been a lot of action to report. The one thing I can say is that any speculation on the interwebs about long-term chastity having an adverse affect on the size of a man’s erection should cease. There’s one or a couple bloggers who suggest that keeping a guy locked up for a long time shrinks erections once they’re allowed out and, I suppose, there’s a sliver of logic at work in thinking that. In reality, however, it just doesn’t happen.

As I mentioned last week, I was out of the device for a day and a half due to some irritation. During that time, I found myself with a hard penis in my hand (purely for research and reporting purposes, of course – I’m always thinking about my readers) and decided, since it seemed like it was about as hard as it gets, that I’d check to see how things were going. I got the measuring tape and verified that Belle’s cock is every bit the 5 and 5/8s inches it has ever been, even though it spends almost all the time locked inside a very short steel tube.

I’ve said before I thought all this “chastity makes dicks smaller” stuff was wrong, but it’s worth saying again, I suppose. The root of this talk is two-fold, in my opinion. First, even something as small as the Steelheart Short seems relatively gargantuan when compared to the average flaccid penis. I know while I was out how shockingly small Belle’s seemed when it was soft, especially with a 4 GA circular barbell through the end of it, but as I said, it was exactly the same size as always. Free meat always seems amazingly uncomplicated but also much less substantial and put-together somehow. Second, I think at least some men who have come to the point where they’re kept in a device nearly all the time have also found themselves in a place very unlike that of other men. Specifically, their sex life and the satisfaction of their lover very often has little or nothing to do with their penis. It’s relative importance becomes less and the oversized role it plays in their sense of self diminishes. Some of them could start to wish their dicks were less significant because it plays into the nullification kink they might also be getting off on. They start to want a little penis, it feels smaller when it’s out, therefore, chastity makes it so.

No, ma’am. I’m not buying it.

Sep 18

1 Comment

Option 4

Mykey said, in response to my suggestion that Belle could punish me with an extension of my denial:

Can’t see the denial working. Belle doesn’t like that control not being hers, as you’ve found when trying fixed long periods before.

If I had suggested the denial extension and Belle had said, “Oh, yeah, good idea. We’ll do that,” then I’d agree with you. It’s why I’m hesitant to suggest these things. Whose idea is this, anyway? But, Belle told me last night that “option four” was one of the ways she’s been considering that I be punished, so it’s not my idea. Also, since she came up with it and has chosen how much extra time will be added to my denial, it is her control. Before when we’ve done “extended denial” the periods were always somewhat arbitrary. Not so this time.

She told me this morning that I won’t come again until December. That’s about a one month extension, but since it was only “November” before and now it’s just “December” we could be looking at up to two extra months, depending on timing. In any event, it’s possible I’ll only come one more time this year. If it happens in the middle of December sometime, then I’ll have gone four months between orgasms. The longest I’ve gone before that was a hair under three months.

I mentioned yesterday that I moved back to the 45 mm cuff ring due to a nasty hot spot under the 40 mm ring. There is, of course, no difference at all with regard to security since the device is still affixed to me by my PA piercing and cannot be removed, but the looser ring makes it feel as though it’s not as secure. Getting it on was a total breeze. I am now able to report with certainty that my testicles are bigger around than 40 mm but smaller than 45 mm. In fact, they more or less fell through the larger ring. No wincing whatsoever. I was interested in how it’d feel overnight, but I can’t tell you. I wasn’t awaked at 4:00 as usual. Not even a little. I slept through all the nocturnal hydraulics. I guess that’s a good thing, but I have to admit that it kinda feels like cheating.

The healing is coming right along so I’ll stay in the 45 mm for the time being. Who knows. Maybe it’ll be the way I go from now on.

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