TOGgle switch: On

You remember TOG. No? He’s that British guy who’s been on-again, off-again sniffing around Belle for some time now. Search for “TOG” if you want the details. Long story short, it seemed like it was over but now it’s back on. For, like, the twelfth time or something.

Turns out, Belle’s been communicating with him quite a bit in the recent past without me knowing about it. At least, I wasn’t aware to what extent they’ve been talking. In a normal marriage, this would be a huge problem — a wife having an online assignation and planning a time and place for sex — but we don’t have a normal marriage in that I have no expectations that she needs to tell me some guy in Great Britain (or anywhere) is sending her pictures of his cock and telling her what he wants to do to her with it.

Regardless, once more, I find I have conflicted feelings. Again, not in the usual ways. I’m not jealous in the slightest. Zero percent jealously. Less than zero. In fact, Belle being fucked by another man (and one with a cock sized more to her preferences — TOG’s is claimed to be over 7″) is the single most potent fantasy I have. I get kind of weak in the everywheres thinking about it. Even just knowing she’s been having this virtual affair without telling me makes me sort of delirious.

Our text exchange from the other day…

B: Would you have any issue with me going to London in the Spring?
T: Besides being incredibly jealous? What’s in London? (See, I had no idea.)
B: You know.
T: (Zing!) Oh.
T: Of course I have no issue.
B: OK, I found a cheap ticket. I might end up regretting it but at the same time if I don’t try I think I would regret that too. And I’m prepared for that.
T: I understand.
B: I love you. Thanks, Thumpie.
T: I love you too.

So my initial take on this revelation was one of caution. I continue to be worried about what a flake this man has been over the time they’ve known one another and I’m worried he’ll flake out again once she’s there or before or he’ll meet her and chicken out or I don’t know what. Just something that will hurt her emotionally. That was and continues to be a real concern for me. I want to shield her from any pain.

But then, on my way home, I found I was incredibly horny. And at first, I had no idea why. The kind of horny where just shifting in my seat and causing the penis to move slightly in its confinement causes it to swell tightly. The kind of horny where a feeling of electric energy in my balls sparkles and buzzes and makes it hard to concentrate or follow conversations. Then, of course, it hit me. She might get fucked by this guy. Finally. The ultimate fantasy.

A lot of cuckold situations I read about online seem to have the cuck in a position of some control or participation. As in, he finds the men for his wife or is actively involved in the sex. To me, a purer form of cuckoldry is where the cuck has up to and including no role at all. In which the wife goes and has an entirely separate relationship that the cuck only hears about, and then only what his wife is willing to tell him. Of course, I want to hear everything. Of course, I want to see the dick pics he’s sent her. Of course, my imagination can come up with all kinds of fantastic, hot scenarios. But that’s all about me. I think cuckolding is for the one doing the cucking, not the cuck. So in that way, it’s a weirdly passive kind of sexual fantasy. And one that makes me, the wannabe cuck who sits at home locked in chastity and left only with his imagination, feeing even less in control than usual.

I’ve been so turned on by the prospect of TOG finally coming through that it’s been hard for me to keep my hands off Belle. I struggled to fall asleep the night she told me and was woken early the following morning by little else than sexual energy. When she started to stir, I was on her in a way that was supposed to show I was eager to pleasure her but not so eager that I wanted to annoy her. In any event, she let me get her off just as her alarm would have been waking her up.

That night, with fifteen minutes before I needed to leave to pick up our daughter at an evening class, I exposed her nipple and started sucking and licking it. Not so subtle this time. Then my hand was in her snatch and rubbing another orgasm out of her. Two in one day. That’s impressive for her. And I was still able to pick up the kid on time.

And here I sit, still finding thoughts of Belle and TOG floating through my mind unbidden. In meetings or while driving or anywhere really along with the commensurate tightness in the steel. Obviously, I can’t live like this for months and months. Or, maybe I can. Belle doesn’t really bring it up. I do. I keep it alive in conversation between us. Because I can’t stop obsessing over it. And that makes me feel somewhat guilty because, as I said, this is about her not me. A classic case of a denied male’s base, lizard brain in conflict with his higher, bunny one. You can imagine how pissed the lizard is since the idea of being turned on to distraction by the thought of another man fucking her isn’t even something that ever came into his reptile brain prior to the fucking bunny getting him this situation in the first place.

Breathe, rabbit. Breathe.

The best penis for male chastity

I’ve often said there is no such thing as The One True Way to do enforced male chastity. But over the years and due to my own personal experience, reading the experiences of others, and the feedback and questions I’ve received from readers, I do think there’s a “perfect penis” when it comes to enforced chastity. That’s not to say penises of all shapes and conditions aren’t equally qualified to be locked up. I think they should be. But it’s true that some configurations will lead to a more satisfying and easier time of it. These are the three most important attributes, in my considered opinion.

Size

Like most natural objects, erect penis size is distributed along a bell curve. The chart below was found here and charts the results from a Dutch study. Most studies of erect penis size show that bulk of them fall somewhere around 6″. This is why most off-the-shelf chastity devices are about the same size (and, since you can see the shorter side of the curve is somewhat better represented, a lot of them are also available in a smaller size).

penis-size-histogram

I’ve said many times, smaller devices are better, but it’s also true that they’re designed to fit the meaty, as it were, peak of that curve. If the penis you want to lock up is farther away from the peak, in either direction, then its experience will be impacted when considering a mass-produced product.

And that’s just length. The other dimension to consider is girth. I found another impressive chart filled with many numbers and exciting color-coding. It shows in a different way that, again, there’s a definite erect average that’s just over 5″ circumference.

average+penis+size+chart.png

And like before, the mass-produce devices are designed for that — ahem — fat part of the curve. If you have penis that’s normal length but extra girthy, you’re just as screwed as before when buying a stock device.

All that being so, it’s still the case serious individuals who can afford it will eventually go with a bespoke device. If the penis in question is far larger than average in either or both length and girth, it’s also where you have to start since you can get away with locking a 4″ penis in a device designed for 5-6″ but you can’t lock a 7.5″ monster in one. In any event, even if you go custom, bigger dicks have other complications. A larger erection requires a larger device which is harder to conceal in normal street clothing, besides being heavier.

Below average penises in both length and girth are better candidates for enforced chastity. There are more off the shelf options for them than larger ones and, when locked in an appropriately-sized device, they’re easier to conceal amongst the muggles. The penis on me is both a little shorter and a little less girthy than average (5.625″/14.29 cm long, 4.75″/12 cm around) so finding a device for me is pretty easy and the resulting bulge isn’t ridiculously over-sized.

Cut

One of the more common questions I get is about chastity hygiene for guys with foreskins. I do not have a foreskin since my parents decided to have that removed when I far too young to have a say in it and my position is no little baby boy should be circumcised until or unless he decides to do it or it’s a medical necessity.

That being said, the positive side-effect of my being cut is a simplified life while locked in a device. Since I have no extra layers of skin and the resulting nooks and crannies that come along with it, I can become very clean without having to remove the device. From what I understand, that’s more of a problem for natural guys since the foreskin is in the exact place it’s most important a device secures and is therefore more difficult to access. To maintain a healthy level of hygiene, those guys need to be let out far more frequently.

Piercing

Trapped-ball chastity devices are ridiculously easy to escape from. You can add doodads and doohickeys to make it somewhat more complicated, but those are only a bit harder to defeat and can lead to a much more uncomfortable experience (and edema). My advice has been that the device should be seen as a deterrent and anyone so willing to defeat it should probably not be in it to begin with, but our urges are strong and hard to resist, especially over time. Even I have been known to defeat a device, though it was a long time ago.

The only way to make a trapped-ball device inescapable is through a piercing. A lot of men crave inescapability because it makes wearing the device easier by removing temptation plus is just like 287% hotter. Keyholders, too, enjoy the added sense of control (at least mine does). A Prince Albert piercing is the best and most widely supported among various device manufacturers. It’s in most cases a permanent body modification since they are known to be a piercing that doesn’t close consistently (especially when sized to the best gauge for this application). But it does make the penis a foolproof and permanent occupant of its confinement.

The PA when used for chastity security is also best combined with a cut cock. I personally find uncut pierced cocks to be incredibly hot, but for the purpose of security, it would only serve to make more complicated the entire situation.

Conclusion

A smaller/thinner than average, circumcised, and pierced penis is the best candidate for enforced male chastity. As I said above, if you’re not one or more of those things, it’s still very much possible to “enjoy” enforced chastity. None of these things are required. But if you’re already one or two of them (that are controllable) and feel that chastity is such an important part of your life and relationship that you’re willing to go the extra mile, the trifecta will result in a very satisfying experience. Obviously, one cannot control the size of their penis, but the other two things are available options for those sufficiently dedicated to having their sex controlled by a loving keyholder.

October metrics

IMG_7483I guess I probably should have called this “Locktober metrics” since that little internet thing has been in control of the key all month long. When I mentioned Belle wanted to do Locktober, I said I had no idea where it came from. Since then, a follower on Tumblr sent me a link to a post on a blog called Keep Him Locked: A Wife’s Guide to Male Chastity and Cock Cages that might be the origination of the idea, though the original post only has 57 notes and I’d think something that’s become such a big deal would have more than that. In any event, I suppose it’s possible the idea came to multiple people.

So yeah, as I thought, Belle really wanted to let the penis out so I could fuck her with it, but she held steady and kept it locked up. Someone on Twitter called me out for not truly being part of Locktober since I switched devices a few times over the month and I suppose if one wants to consider the few moments of freedom experienced as the penis went from one securement to another violating the rules, that’s one’s choice, though since it was never out for more than a few moments and was never used for anything pleasurable, one could also find other, more productive ways ways to entertain one’s pedantic self and leave me out of it.

As you can see from the numbers above, and for the first time this year, the penis was locked up 100% of the time. Zero time out, zero times inside Belle, zero ruined orgasms. And, of course, zero actual orgasms. That makes that part of the metrics easy to report.

As you might recall, September was the month the penis was unsecured the most all year by a long shot. So much so that the cumulative time out jumped from about 1% through August to about 3% though September. Locktober brought that back down to about 2%.

Due to how our schedules interacted, Locktober was actually way longer than a month. The last time I was allowed into Belle was back on September 10 and the penis has been locked up continuously since September 19. So that’s 43 days of lock-up and 52 days without pleasurable usage of the meat. My last orgasm was August 26.

I’m not sure I’ve ever been locked up for so long. There were some really intense urges to be out that were their most acute in the moments right after she came. I’ve also felt some incredibly powerful and notable waves of craving freedom at some points when looking at Tumblr. I don’t crave orgasm at all, though. Just…something. Some kind of friction against the penis. Something more than the feeling of its hard confinement pushing back.

Belle came nine times in October. The month started with a bang but then life got in the way and we had to make a trip and share a hotel room with offspring and that put a damper on getting her off. One of those orgasms she gave herself. The remaining were inflicted by me using my fingers, though one was a team effort in which she used the vibrator while I fingered her. That was a particularly compelling orgasm, as I recall, and the second of the day(!).

November, of course, is NOvember but that’s a thing dealing with orgasm denial, not continuous enforced chastity, and a lot easier for her to accommodate if she chooses to do so. I’m in no hurry to come anyway and can be denied that while still giving her the occasional (if all too brief) fucking she craves.

Micro chastity: A review

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I’ve been wearing chastity devices for almost exactly nine years. I’ve worn plastic ones and metal ones, those with and without rings, some wrought from cold metal and another 3D printed. I’ve kind of lost count, to be honest. It’s well over a dozen different devices. Perhaps even over sixteen.

I don’t say all that to boast. There are men out there who’ve been in a greater variety of devices for longer than me, for sure. My point is, I thought I kind of knew some things about the mechanics of being locked up. Like how to measure for a device and how to size it. How to wear it every day and live in it. But the other day, a crazy little thing landed on my desk from far away. And after nine years, more or less everything I knew got turned on its head.

Continue reading “Micro chastity: A review”

Nine

On this date nine years ago I began writing Denying Thumper. It’s equal parts hard to fathom it’s been that long, but also a wonder so many things have happened and evolved in what seems like so little time.

Looking back, I’m not entirely sure why I started the blog when I did. It was, even then, a blog about orgasm denial and chastity, but I had barely been denied any orgasms (the day after I started the blog was three whole days without an orgasm!) and we didn’t have a chastity device, though I ordered a CB6K after a few days. Clearly, right after being introduced to the concepts, the need and desire to live that way blossomed fully and with an alarming suddenness.

For me, the real beginning was on the 21st of October when I wore a chastity device for the first time. It’s pretty funny reading that now, to be honest. I’ve changed so much but so many things are the same.

I rarely go back and read the early days of the blog because a lot of that time was spent by both of us figuring things out and my attitude wasn’t always very good. I’m often embarrassed by myself. I was petulant and expectant and filled with a sort of penis-centric privilege that betrayed what I purported to want out of submitting to Belle. It took years to really find the path I think chastity and denial should follow (more or less, there is no One True Way). It took a long time for me to get my head on straight.

Belle grew into her role, gaining confidence. I settled down into mine, shedding selfishness.

And here we. Still ticking. Locked up more than ever. Just three orgasms on the year. In some ways, things have only become more of what they were even back then. But it’s also no longer new. It’s no longer novel. It’s what things are. It’s how we live. And it’s pretty darned good.

Hashtag Locktober

I have no idea where Locktober came from. First I heard of it was from Andy and then there was a hashtag and now it’s a thing. I made something of a flippant response on the Twitter…

Except the deal with Locktober is to be locked for all of October. And I’m not always locked, just north of 98% of the time (last month excluded). I told Belle about Locktober and she was intrigued. She’s decided we will play along…for now.

See, Belle hasn’t been fucked since September 10. I know this because I keep track of such things. We were apart for the better part of several weeks and the last time she let me inside her was way back one month ago today. And while I was unlocked on my trip for more than is customary, I have been continuously locked since 11:00 AM on the 19th of September, three weeks ago today. I’m just not entirely certain Belle can wait that long to feel a hard penis inside her again.

But who knows. Last night I came into the bedroom while she was watching the football and apparently I looked cute to her because she said so and I asked why because I thought I looked kind of schlubby and she said maybe it was Locktober. Like, I was more attractive because I was going to be locked for the whole month. And the number of times she’s had me get her off this month puts it on track for a record in that department.

So yeah, Belle likes to get fucked, but this is also kind of a classic non-intuitive side effect of enforced chastity. The one you read about in all the hawt chastity porn. Like any mythology, it does have a basis in reality. For whatever reason, the idea of not being fucked by me because she’s keeping the penis locked up for the whole month is making her more likely to want to have sex. You just can’t make that make sense to someone who’s never heard of enforced male chastity. It’s a real paradox.

It’s been quite difficult for me during those times she lets me get her off because the penis has learned that while it’s locked up all the time, it does get to come out for 20-30 minutes a week and get wet inside her. While I feel her orgasm pulse through her body, the penis is straining hard against its confinement and pushing up the memory of what sliding inside her wet pussy feels like just to torment me. It wants to fuck her badly. It becomes an acute craving. And sure, that’s painful for about 12 seconds because the yearning need is strong, but then it fades and is replaced with the equally nonsensical and paradoxical feelings of submissive gratitude for being cared for in this way. Attended to, after a fashion.

So while dealing with the meat’s disappointment at not getting wet is fleetingly difficult, I think this Locktober thing is a good idea. It reminds us that whatever attention the contents of the devices locked onto us get is the sole discretion of the one holding our key. It demonstrates how penises are not required for satisfying sex. It reinforces the natural order of our relationships. And, for those keyholders needing it, it provides a shelter for any lingering guilt they feel over leaving their partners secure.

All that said, I’m still not sure Belle can go three more weeks without feeling me inside her. We’ll see. Whatever happens, it is — as always — up to her.