Over on Tom’s site, Miss Tease (the author of yesterday’s super-hot link) said this in a thread about the CB-6000:
…[T]he CBx000 series provide almost zero protection against masturbation. The vast majority of males seems to be able to pull out their penis of the device even when additional accessories such as points of intrigue are applied. Getting back into the device also does not seem to be a problem using a certain technique incorporating a nylon stocking or pantyhose. A potential solution could be a piercing, but this always bears the risk of migration or being ripped out of the wearer’s skin during physical activity.
Altogther, I would not call a device that can cause significant health problems while not fulfilling its intended purpose adequate. I agree that as a sex toy for beginners, the CBx000 devices make for a hot fantasy, I am just a little disappointed that they are so inadequate as real chastity devices.
While I greatly enjoy Miss Tease’s prose, I have a fundamental issue with her POV regarding chastity devices. What she seems to be looking for is the mythical undefeatable belt (you know, the one those guys are locked into against their will for years and years in all the hawt chastity p0rn). One that will never allow her man access to his wee-wee without her knowledge and frustrate his every attempt get it. I suppose an actual metal belt-type model would do this, but I’ve never seen one that didn’t cost north of $500 (and usually, well north).
For me, there seems to be two ways to cheat at “enforced” chastity. One is slipping out for a quick wank and then slipping back in with hopes no one noticed. The CB-X000’s, unmodified, certainly allow this, as, I suspect, do most of the other “trapped ball” devices out there. The other way to cheat is to physically defeat the device (cutting the lock, etc.). Regardless of the caliber of your device, there is a tool that will break it (and a lot of guys probably already own it). As far as I’m concerned, there’s not a huge difference in either scenario because the commitment to chastity isn’t made at the moment the device is placed on you. You have to bring that with you beforehand.
My best advice for Miss Tease (or anyone else, be they the keyholder or the locked) is to depend on the chastised male’s brain as the ultimate chastity device. The physical representation of the keyholder’s control hangs off your dick. The actual control exists between your ears. All any CB can be is a deterrent. It’s there to help you through moments of weakness or extreme arousal (or maybe even create moments of arousal), but none ever devised can absolutely guarantee denied access.
So, that said, where do I come down on the whole “the best chastised male is the one who doesn’t need a device” argument? Well, as usual, Tom’s got it covered pretty well. As he says, “Some of us just happen to kink on the physical restraint. It’s okay. Really.” That’s why I’m in it. Not because I can’t control myself, but because I like carrying her control around with me. It turns me on.
Which brings me back to Miss Tease (or, more specifically, her boyfriend). He shouldn’t wear it if it’s because he needs it. If he needs it, she’s already lost her control. If he wants it or likes it, bingo. If that’s the case, then she’s already got a lock on his mind and, as everyone knows, that’s the most dangerous sex organ of them all.
Hi Thumper,
I am afraid I don’t quite get your argument. I agree that there will never be an undefeatable belt and I am not looking for one. However, I think a chastity device should provide a certain level of security against masturbation. I agree that it also serves as a constant reminder of the keyholder’s position of power. I do believe though, that part of this dynamic is the physical security a chastity device provides.
If this wasn’t the case, you would not need a chastity device in the first place. According to your argument, putting a guy’s penis into an empty roll of toilet paper and taping it to his body would work just as well. It serves as a representation of the keyholder’s control and prevents the guy from directly touching his dick.
My problem with such a device is that it wouldn’t really exercise any actual control over its wearer and therefore not work very well as a symbol of power. This is partially the same problem I have with the CBx000 devices. For most men they seem to be as easy to “defeat” as the empty roll of toilet paper. I think the difference between the roll of toilet paper and CBx000 devices is just the obviousness of their insecurity. With their high-tech design and a solid metal lock, CBx000 devices convey being a legit chastity solution. The fact that they don’t really work can be blocked out to a certain extent and they therefore have the desired symbolic effect for most people. This is also the reason why we still play with a CB6000 in our T&D relationship from time to time.
However, a chastity device would be much more of a turn on for me if it was actually more secure. This would increase the actual level of control over the wearer and therefore intensify the power exchange. Even though my boyfriend doesn’t try to cheat when wearing his CB6000 (at least that is what I think and I trust him on this), it would still be more exciting if he couldn’t, even if he wanted to. In a sense, this would give me more power over him.
I realize that there are limits to the possible level of security. As you stated quite correctly, for every possible device, there will always be a tool to break it (and there better should, as I tend to lose keys easily 🙂 ). However, to me there is a difference between the two ways of cheating you outlined in your post. I think the second way of cheating by cutting the lock, etc. requires a much higher level of “criminal energy”. It can not just be done in the heat of the moment but requires deliberate planning, Accordingly, I would consider such an attempt a much stronger breach of trust. Consequently, a device that can only be defeated in such a way would allow me to exercise more control over my boyfriend and therefore serve as a better turn-on for us.
However, I realize that this might not be the case for everyone (even though it seems to many people it is, which is why they are looking for ways to improve the security of their chastity device by for example using add-ons such as the KSD-G3). I just don’t think everybody who is looking for a chastity solution that provides a higher level of security is doing something wrong to begin with. I think even women who rely on the control they have over their partner’s brain quite a bit might in some cases still desire a more secure chastity solution for the outlined reasons :).
Regards,
Miss Tease
The crux here (and no one is wrong) is what level of security is “real” enough for players to feel that it creates a sufficient experience for people. For some a paper toilet paper roll might be enough (the “honor” system does exist for some folks.) And for others, it’s an elaborate custom made metal belt that requires a Prince Albert piercing, and multiple keys.
Ultimately it’s a personal line that we all draw. No one can be physically forced into a belt, and every belt can be cheated (yes, even the $1500 ones can be cheated, and quite easily I’m told) – even with the piercing, most men are able to use a vibrator to create enough stimulation to have an orgasm, albeit a ruined one.
Either way, I don’t think either of you are wrong, there are just different levels of personal need for the experience to be sufficiently real for you to enjoy it. Myself, I found that over the years and having heard the infinite number of personal accounts that the following are constants in today’s world of male chastity:
1) No belt is easy to sleep in when you start out, but it does get easier.
2) No belt is inescapable or cheat proof.
3) No belt can be put on without acquiescence.
4) Every couple that play with chastity have a personal level of need for security to establish the experience that they seek.
5) Expecting fantasy as reality can lead to being discouraged and disappointed.
Again, there’s no right or wrong to it. It just is what it is.
“The crux here (and no one is wrong) is what level of security is “real” enough for players to feel that it creates a sufficient experience for people.”
I agree. The CB-6000 provides enough for us. I think Miss Tease thinks it can be slipped in and out of like a glove, but properly fitted, it takes a bit more work than that. Much more “criminal energy” than getting around a toilet paper roll. Once out, getting back in is tricky, but doable.
I also agree that neither of us is wrong. After reading her comment here, I know we share getting off on greater security. Hell, it’s one of the reasons I pierced my dick. But even then, “enforced chastity” is an illusion. The variable between us all is how much of the illusion we’re willing to buy off on, I guess.
It also sounds to me like Miss Tease’s guy hasn’t fit it properly. If the ring is too big and the spacer too large, it’s ridiculously easy to escape from. Smaller rings and tighter spacers help this, but it takes time to adjust to and find the proper combination. I think they should keep at it.
Finally, Miss Tease, regardless of our slightly different takes on chastity devices, your blog is HOT. I’ve really enjoyed what you’ve written so far. Keep it up! (Hehe. Get it? “Keep it up”? Little joke there…)
I mean no disrespect to Miss Tease, but I think she missed the point of your post: (1) If a dominant woman needs to put her man into a device to keep him from straying, she obviouosly has no control over him. (2) The so-called chastity devices are toys that give satisfaction to one or both partners, but are not really there to provide any other purpose.
The whole idea of enforced chastity on a male is the conceived by the fertile male fantasy. Just like the typical “cum shots” in pornography, “enforced chastity because the man cannot control his masturbatory habit” is the basis of many blogs and forums. In both cases they are totally unreal and unnecessary.
The fun is in the mechanics of applying, wearing, and putting up with the implications of being under “her” control. Just think of it as a symbol, like a wedding ring, only it has more bulk and can be very uncomfortable, but in a sexy way.
Yep, that’s pretty much it.
Sarah steered us toward your site and we ( my I and my loaked up husband, techster) do enjoy your realistic approach. FYI We are a “senior” couple who have successfully used a CB6000 as a non pharmaceutical cure for Erectil dysfunction and to spice our love life. We have “playing with enforced male chastity for over 20 years and we still enjoy it.
Techie
Having worn the CB-x000 series for quite some time and during many activities, I can say that it does lack a great deal for some of us. My penis size is over 6″ erect but more like 1.5″ or even less when flaccid. This means that my cock will slip out during sleep quite frequently, with no effort on my part. If my partner happens to be out of town, it’s quite frustrating for both of us. The point of intrigue don’t work as advertised, in that if the teeth are to be long enough to prevent slipping out when flaccid, they are so long that in an intermediate stage they draw blood. Using a ring tight enough to prevent slipping out when fully flaccid means that again, in intermediate stages, its so tight that it caused intense pain.
My research on the net has shown this to be a fairly common problem. I’m not saying the devices fail for all men. There seem to be plenty of guys out there whose genitalia don’t vary as much between erect and flaccid and therefore don’t experience the same problems I do. However, there are also a significant number of guys out there who do experience the problem I do.
In short, I don’t think it’s fair to dismiss Miss Tease as simply an author of ‘good prose’, and assume her boyfriend is trying to ‘cheat’. The CB-x000 devices simply don’t work well for everyone. It’s not at all unreasonable to desire a device that stays on comfortably.
Exobelt seems a good option- haven’t tried it yet, just sharing my research, and Neosteel seems like another, more expensive alternative.
While it may be true that no chastity device is inescapable (and cutting the lock off doesn’t count for me because your keyholder would obviously know in this case), it doesn’t mean that everyone who wears one can escape from whatever kind they happen to wear. There are many varibles from person to person.
I wear the CB-3000 and my soft penis fills the tube, both lengthwise and width-wise. I do not use the points of intrigue and, short of cutting off the lock, I can not get my penis out. Even when I get aroused and my penis pushes on the cage, it just pulls on my balls, but the ring still can’t be pulled up and over my balls nor can I get my penis out of the cage.
“Just like the typical “cum shots” in pornography, “enforced chastity because the man cannot control his masturbatory habit” is the basis of many blogs and forums. In both cases they are totally unreal and unnecessary.”
Maybe for some, maybe even the majority, but I am in chastity because I am (was, I guess now)an addicted, chronic masturbator, so much so that it was getting in the way of my job, and life in general. Chastity was suggested to me, by a doctor no less, and I recruited a friend to keep the key and decide when I would periodically be allowed out to have an orgasm. This time around it has been just over 9 months locked up… and during desperate times of horniness, I did try to get it off and, again, short of cutting off the lock, I couldn’t.
While I of course agreed to be in chastity, for me it has nothing to do with someone else’s ‘control’ over my penis, it has to do with controlling an obsessive habit. And, I know I am not alone in my reason for using chastity, so, while it may seem ‘unreal’ and ‘unnecessary’ to you, the use of chastity to control masturbatory habits does, in fact, exist for some of us.
So if it was prescribed by your doctor, was it covered by your insurance plan? Did you submit the receipt to your flexible spending plan? Or maybe he had a supply of CB3K’s in a cabinet right there in the examination room…?
I don’t believe a credible doctor would treat an actual addiction in this way. You don’t treat alcoholism by locking up the booze. You don’t treat overeating by padlocking the fridge. You don’t treat obsessive compulsive masturbation by locking up your cock.
Well said. But then, your thinking on this seems to have evolved. I recall a more recent article of yours in which you say, paraphrased, “it’s not denial until you really want to disobey and you can’t”. Did I get the gist of that correctly?
For orgasm control, the device is an added, hopefully fun kink. It should be possible to come to obedience without a device.
For orgasm denial, that may not be true. Or maybe that’s too fine a point.
Devices also remove physical sensation, and the ability to have an unrestricted erection. That’s a form of denial that can not fully be realized without a device, if at all.
This is really f’n complicated.
No, it’s not that “it’s not denial until you want to disobey and can’t,” it’s not denial until you really want to come but don’t because you’re submitting to the control of another (whether physical or behavioral). When I’m balls deep in Belle and a stroke and a half away from coming I *could* have an “accident” but don’t. Because the only thing in the whole fucking universe I want more than an orgasm in those cases is her telling me I can’t.
The point of this post (from my recollection, I haven’t read it in a while), is that, IMO, you’re not really ready to be in this kind of relationship if you don’t *want* to feel powerlessly horny. Everyone wants the “ultimate” device (and I do, too). This site still gets a ton of visits from people searching for the title of this post (which is where I got the title to begin with). As if there’s a physical solution to the issue of guys who still try and cheat and rub one out even though they think they want to be denied. There is, of course. Piercings. The great irony is only those guys who don’t *need* a piercing should get one for the purposes of denial and chastity. It’s a big deal and possibly irreversible and not the key to denial nirvana.
My point is that the first and most powerful chastity device is the one between your ears. If that one’s not prepared then it doesn’t really matter what’s locked between your legs or how it’s locked. And yes, my thinking on this has evolved quite a bit, so I reserve the right to contradict myself as you keep reading through the site! 😉
Cool, thanks for taking the time to elaborate! So your idea of denial and my idea of control are not as different as I had first thought. That my body wants release but that I crave obedience more, emotionally and psychologically, is key to my own chastity kink.
As you say, the one between the ears.
Agreed on piercings as well, I think. I’d be delighted to receive one if it tickles him. If he’s indifferent about the idea, I’d rather not. I feel increasingly confident that I can obey without mechanical help.
Yeah, these words are all squishy. I tend to refer to “denial” as controlling orgasms without a device and “chastity” as the same thing with a device. That’s just me, though. And I’m not even going to get into the idea of denial absent a D/s overlay because that’s just over my pay grade…
Spot on Thumper. My partner and I consider my chastity device to be akin to a wedding ring. It’s worn to underline commitment. Although it is possible to defeat any chastity device, it would be similar to walking into a bar and slipping off your wedding ring.
There are two heads of chastity: one on the top of the shoulders and one at the tip of the penis. Both have to be working for chastity to be effective and rewarding.
Now this is a pretty old post to comment on but I’d like to say two things:
1. I fully understand the view Miss Tease is offering. I do want my wife to decide when I am allowed to come and yes, Thumper, it’s a major turn-on when most of the time she decides no, now’s not the time. But even though I do want that most of the time, I have weak moments. It’s these that the chastity device is all about for me. Knowing I’m able to slip out, wank off, put it back in and pretend it never happened (or generously admit to it even) is frustrating 99.9% of the time, i.e. when I’m in the want-her-to-decide mindset. When she’s around and I have what would otherwise be that weak moment it’s her presence that exerts this control and that’s a major turn-on. I’d like to have that for all weak moments.
2. Regarding the only pro-Miss Tease’s point comment, I’m surprised that when putting yourself in chastity you would set the rules such that you are locked in for 9 months or more. It’s not an unhealthy addiction anymore when you allow yourself release once a month, or twice a week even, is it?