News flash

So, according to CNN, women think it’s sexy for men to do housework! What’s more, men who do more housework get more sex than men who don’t.

Let me just roll that around in my head for a minute. Guys who do housework get to have more orgasms than those who don’t…but I’m doing more housework than ever yet coming less and less. Hmm. [stroking chin] What’s that all about? Oh, yeah! I’m a freak. Gotcha.

Of course, it’s not just about the sex and, obviously to me now, “sex” can be defined in ways than a lot of men can’t imagine, but the thrust of the article remains that there is a connection in a woman’s mind between seeing her man do domestic work and her desire to fuck him. If most women are prewired that way, then does that mean most women are at least somewhat predisposed to accept an FLR-type relationship? My observation of Belle supports the article’s premise, though Belle’s not in it for the whole “FL” thing. She’s not a natural dominant (at least when it comes to me). Even though my list of required duties is well-defined, she’ll still do some of them for me. I totally get the positive connection between housework and sex, but to take that up to the next level (a level – unsurprisingly – never even hinted at in the CNN article), she’d have to expect me to do those things.

I’m not complaining or anything. I’m just observing. And wondering how to integrate the concept of “shared responsibility” into a Dom/sub dynamic. I’m supposed to keep the dishes clean, but I heard her this morning doing them while I was still in bed. It made me feel good that I didn’t have to do them, but then I also felt bad and conflicted because I was supposed to do them – and knew there’d be no negative repercussion of her feeling the need to do them instead.

If the consequences of me not performing my duties is Belle eventually doing them for me, then what’s changed? And how do I, the supposed submissive partner, stay motivated in the face of that? I think there needs to be a hard line around the things I’m really, truly supposed to do and some kind of negative consequence for not performing those duties to her satisfaction. I feel like I need that kind of structure and definition.

In the mean time, I’m just happy she’s happy and, as confirmed by CNN, really does get turned on watching me clean the counters.

3 thoughts on “News flash

  1. Let me just roll that around in my head for a minute. Guys who do housework get to have more orgasms than those who don’t…but I’m doing more housework than ever yet coming less and less.

    Ha-ha

    From the CNN article:
    “What’s interesting to me is that as men’s housework goes up, women’s marital satisfaction also goes up but men’s marital satisfaction goes down,”

    It’s the age-old male question “What can I do to get more sex?”, as if there should be a simple cause-and-effect formula to follow. In some ways sub men are lucky, because the ironing or whatever becomes the sex, as long as it’s clear that that’s what’s happening on both sides of the relationship, because denial is part of the sex and you can get a whole lot of other practical, useful stuff done while you are doing all that denying and being denied. 🙂 (I just read that back and I don’t know if it makes sense)

    One thing I really hate about this type of article is how they always explain that “women need to feel relaxed in order to feel sexy”, as if sex is a more emotional thing for women. This is, of course, a disclaimer, so that men don’t write in to say that they’ve done all the cleaning and washing and still don’t get more action. What bothers me, though, is the implied flipside, that men have no emotional connection to sex. In fact, I think they (we) have more emotional connection to sex, because men have sex when they still have all this raging turmoil inside which women need to settle before they can “feel sexy”. It’s rough and it’s gruff sometimes, but no less an expression of personal emotion than what comes from a woman, and is too often mis-interpreted.

  2. (I just read that back and I don’t know if it makes sense)

    Sure it does, and it’s a point I wanted to make in my post but didn’t (at least not as well as you did).

  3. I have similar feelings as the above. I can write an article based on so-called facts and observations. The thing that is missing is the cause and effect. An observation does not make it so.

    I have done a lot of housework over the years, and assure you that I am not getting more sex as a result of that, or a result of anything for that matter.

    People are different, and do different things give situations. It is nice to get paid for an article in a publications, but that does not change anything.

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