Morning cup of angst

Denial makes me emotional. That’s a well-established fact. It makes me feel more connected to Belle and causes my feelings for her to intesify. Check. And, of course, it makes me horny. Kinda the point, right?

Well, for whatever reason, all these feelings and sensations are ratcheted up this time around. While professing my everlasting love to Belle for the 4,625th time last night, I felt on the verge of tears. Not from sadness or anything, just from the power of my emotions. It’s never been like this. I was denied almost a month last time, and it never got like this. What’s different? As Belle put it last night, how have the ingredients been mixed differently this time?

For one, she was away from me for a few days which allowed me to put myself into a frothy state with dirty pictures, nasty stories, and some self-inflicted genitorture. Also, looming in the not-so-distant future is my hiking trip which will take me away from Belle for more than a full week (and not just physically since phones won’t work were I’m going). I truly dread the prospect of being apart from her. In addition to that, we’re not likely to get any quality time for the next four days. She’s got work events, I have work events, we’re babysitting the infant nephew on Saturday, and she’s got a volunteer thing on Friday. It’ll be Sunday before we can really connect. Oh, and of course, I don’t know where the key is anymore.

On top of all that angst, I find myself starting to dread the time away from Belle for another reason. I won’t be allowed to come again for almost four weeks, but in the middle of that time I’ll be alone, in a tent, unlocked and horny out of my mind. Belle says I’ll just need to man up. She’s right, of course. And I’m the one who always says her control isn’t made of plastic, it’s made of brain matter. Yeah, that’s great as long as I’m wearing the plastic. For more than a week, and at the moment I pass my personal orgasmless record, I will have free, unfettered, and unsupervised access to her lonely, swollen cock.That’ll be much more dangerous than any bears, cougars, or coyotes for this little bunny.

3 thoughts on “Morning cup of angst

  1. Hang in there 🙂 You’re doing great, but maybe you need to just try to go with it. These things you’re worrying about are much less significant when viewed from any perspective other than your current highly-charged one. Yes, you know that, but it’s worth mentioning. One way to distract yourself is to put every thought you have through the And-what-use-is-that-to-her? filter. Not sure if that helps….

  2. Thumper… I just started reading your blog. Fantastic, well written, and most of it parallels my thoughts so well it’s frightening. And I’m not through December yet….

    Thanks to Both of You for sharing as I am also learning, and yearning to share with a certain redheaded lady… I’m thinking of just pointing her to your blog. Thanks Belle, Thanks Thumper.

    1. Really glad you’re enjoying the blog, GO. You’re only on December? Oh, it gets so much better. At least I think so…

      So, have you *not* shared what’s going through your mind with the redhead?

Say your piece

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s