Chastity fetishist?

Reader Jane Docent asked this in a comment to my post We Talk:

More to the point – are you kinky? Or have you fetishized this one element of arousal – enforced chastity?

While I’m pretty sure I know the answer to her question, I did stop and think about it for a second. And then a few more.

The Random House Dictionary describes kinky this way:

Marked by unconventional sexual preferences or behavior, as fetishism, sadomasochism, or the like.

While the American Heritage Dictionary says this:

Showing or appealing to bizarre or deviant tastes, especially of a sexual or erotic nature

So, according to Random House, even if I was just a fetishist, I would still be kinky. Either way, I feel very comfortable identifying as kinky. My sexual tastes are “unconventional” and, IMO, “bizarre or deviant”. Way. But, more importantly, have I developed a fetish over enforced chastity devices?

To be sure, enforced chastity turns me the fuck on and my interest in its implements is extensive. I’m pretty sure I’ve looked at the websites of all the commercially available devices (some dozens of times) and would love to have any number of them locked onto me by Belle (with a special proclivity towards the stainless steel variety). But, the operative part of that statement is “locked onto me by Belle”. More than the device, I kink on the power exchange. The device neatly dovetails into other kinks and interests (CBT, bondage, masochism, gadgets), but I also obsess over things like this and that and the other which have nothing at all to do with enforced chastity but do have a lot to do with my other kinks.

The reason enforced chastity and the device gets so much play here, I think, is because, of all my sexual perversions, power exchange is the one we engage in the most. For whatever reason, I don’t find myself tied up and beaten very often, but she can deny me orgasm several times a week and leave me locked up for weeks and weeks. All of that energy and desire gets channeled into orgasm denial, enforced chastity, and – ultimately – the device itself.

4 Replies to “Chastity fetishist?”

  1. Mkay I get that you’re kinky–I think you are.

    But I don’t get why you keep saying that B.F. _isn’t_ kinky. I mean, the woman gets off from masturbating in front of you while you are locked up . . . am not seeing why you think she is vanilla and you are a twisted freak?

    I probably should have been reading far longer.

    1. What, you’re saying locking up your husband’s cock and then getting yourself off with a vibrator in front of him sounds like the actions of a kinky person?! Huh. Maybe you’re right…

      I think the thing is she *identifies* as non-kinky. She’s certainly doing kinky things (which I’m eternally happy about), but I’m not sure she thinks of herself as kinky.

      And yeah, regardless of all that, I’m pretty sure I’m a twisted freak (and proud of it).

  2. Hmm, so she doesn’t *identify* as kinky, eh? I’m going to have to copy-paste some comment I made on Tom’s blog, here:

    “I have to admit I still struggle with calling myself kinky or dominant. I think it’s because before meeting Boy Toy and actually getting into D/s and kink, whenever I’d hear those terms, I only had a vague idea of what they might mean, and that was something outside the norm. From the vanilla side, those people wearing black leather and wielding whips are a little hard to grasp… I was never curious enough to look it up, or it never occurred to me to question it.

    Now here I am, a few years later, locking my boy in a chastity device, fucking him with a strap on and doing all sorts of “not normal” things to him… They FEEL perfectly normal to me, I was eased into it, I’m doing them with someone I love and trust, and it’s a whole lot of fun. So I’m having a hard time connecting this fun, normal feeling stuff to the idea of kink I used to have, which was this weird shit those freaks in leather and latex do.”

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