Reader Jane Docent asked this in a comment to my post We Talk:
More to the point – are you kinky? Or have you fetishized this one element of arousal – enforced chastity?
While I’m pretty sure I know the answer to her question, I did stop and think about it for a second. And then a few more.
The Random House Dictionary describes kinky this way:
Marked by unconventional sexual preferences or behavior, as fetishism, sadomasochism, or the like.
While the American Heritage Dictionary says this:
Showing or appealing to bizarre or deviant tastes, especially of a sexual or erotic nature
So, according to Random House, even if I was just a fetishist, I would still be kinky. Either way, I feel very comfortable identifying as kinky. My sexual tastes are “unconventional” and, IMO, “bizarre or deviant”. Way. But, more importantly, have I developed a fetish over enforced chastity devices?
To be sure, enforced chastity turns me the fuck on and my interest in its implements is extensive. I’m pretty sure I’ve looked at the websites of all the commercially available devices (some dozens of times) and would love to have any number of them locked onto me by Belle (with a special proclivity towards the stainless steel variety). But, the operative part of that statement is “locked onto me by Belle”. More than the device, I kink on the power exchange. The device neatly dovetails into other kinks and interests (CBT, bondage, masochism, gadgets), but I also obsess over things like this and that and the other which have nothing at all to do with enforced chastity but do have a lot to do with my other kinks.
The reason enforced chastity and the device gets so much play here, I think, is because, of all my sexual perversions, power exchange is the one we engage in the most. For whatever reason, I don’t find myself tied up and beaten very often, but she can deny me orgasm several times a week and leave me locked up for weeks and weeks. All of that energy and desire gets channeled into orgasm denial, enforced chastity, and – ultimately – the device itself.