Security wankie

As I said yesterday, the new Steelheart is only a little less secure than my CB6K. However, it is less secure, a fact only compounded by the total failure of the PA fixing that came with it. This reality has led me to rethink a few things regarding the entire purpose of the device.

Some guys look down their noses (or boners, as the case may be) at those of us who remain chaste though the use of devices. They say the only true way to demonstrate commitment to their partner is to always have access to their dicks but to never use them for anything their partners haven’t authorized, let alone ejaculation. I truly do appreciate this point of view and admire men who are able to muster the self-control necessary to keep their hands off in the face of incredible frustration. But I guess that assumes they are, in fact, keeping their hands off.

Personally, I don’t need the device to keep from having an unauthorized orgasm. The last thing I want is to orgasm (though I desperately want to always feel like I want to – paradox!). What I crave is lots and lots of stimulation. I love playing with myself up to the moment of orgasm, cooling off for a few seconds, and then doing it again. I adore the feeling of a stiff one in my hand, heavy PA ring flopping to and fro. Even with it’s not hard, I find I can’t keep my hands off the cock. It’s like a magnet to me. So, based on all that, what the device represents is Belle’s desire to limit my ability to pleasure myself. She knows I will not come on purpose. But she also knows, from experience, that allowing me to play with the cock is a recipe for disaster.

So, the device isn’t about orgasm control. It’s a masturbation and self-pleasure control mechanism. When she puts me in it, she’s saying she wants me to focus on her and her needs. Jacking off in the shower, even if I don’t come, is distracting and indulgent. Stroking in bed after she’s fallen asleep does not leave me in the same frame of mind as when I’m just left to stew in my juices. Those guys who liken my device to a crutch are right, I guess. It’s a deterrent. A reminder of what she wants. And I need it.

My quest for the undefeatable device is more about nerdery and kink than anything else. I want to feel totally powerless against the device, but don’t actually need to be powerless. For me, it’s more like a “keep off the grass” sign or little wrought iron fence around a flowerbed. A reminder that there are rules and I’m expected to play by them.

Further Steelheart Nerdery

In a comment to HNThumper X, Billus asked:

I’d be interested in how the ring size compares with whatever ring you were using on the CB6K. Did you simply measure the plastic ring, or disregard it completely and determine the steel ring size some other way? Same with the spacing. It seems like with all the trial and error involved with a plastic CB, you have to get the steel one absolutely right the first time.

When I ordered the Steelheart, I pretty much used the CB6K measurements I had settled into (shortest spacer, middle ring). For the circumference of the tube, I went with the measurement provided for the CB6K, though as anyone who owns one knows, it’s wider than it is tall. For tube length, I measured my CB6K configuration and subtracted 5mm since the CB6K’s tube is tapered and there’s a bit of wasted space toward the end that never gets filled.

What I’ve ended up with is a much more forgiving device than the CB6K, though it looks more severe. Even though the tube is shorter, the internal volume is greater due to the the Steelheart’s tube being closer to a true circle in shape versus the CB6K’s oval. In addition, since the Steelheart’s tube is blunt and rounded, I find erections fill it more efficiently. I have no way of knowing this for sure, but I’d guesstimate that only about 40-50% of my erection could fill the CB6K while it feels like closer to 60-70% fills the Steelheart. It’s an entirely different sensation. The CB6K was rather brutal in the way it arrested erections and ended up stuffing a lot of it back up into my body. With the Steelheart, I have the sensation of achieving something close to a full erection, though with a satisfying amount of restraint. Due to that and the more lifelike curve of the tube, I find myself stroking the Steelheart more like a real cock when I’m hard. All for nothing, of course, since I can’t feel anything. It’s significantly frustrating, though in a different way.

In retrospect, I might have been able to move to a smaller ring and tighter tube, but the jump from where I was to the next size down seemed pretty steep. I might order a smaller ring at some point (assuming I don’t need to send the whole thing back for that), but I’m pretty pleased with how it turned out.

Other random observations:

  • I’m struck by the heat of the device. The plastic tube of the CB6K did warm, obviously, but the steel seems to take on a heat all it’s own. At night, under the covers, it’s downright hot to the touch. Almost like a separate living thing. Also, it get’s noticeably hotter during erections, especially on top. These are all nicely sensual bonuses I hadn’t really expected.
  • Keeping it clean is more difficult. I’m not sure if it’s just because the Steelheart is harder to get into due to the one little hole or if it’s some difference in how the steel holds on to fluid more than the plastic, but I do more often get that “not so fresh” feeling now. I’ll need to clean more thoroughly and more often.
  • fixinMy previous comment about the PA fixing being “marvelous” was premature. It’s true that, when the PA ring is secured, I can’t feel a thing. It’s awesome. However, the damned ring doesn’t stay on the fixing. At some point I’ll post a picture, but As you can see in the picture, the fixing consists of thick stainless wire that runs down the left side of the tube and curves across the end before coming back up the right side a little. I think the issue is it doesn’t come far enough back up the right side since I know the PA ring is in place when I put it on, but it’s always slipped off when I check later. This is a significant disappointment. However…
  • Regarding security in general, the Steelheart is only a little less secure than the CB6K. To be fair, the stock CB6K, even when fitted properly, comes off pretty easily (at least for me). Had I a slightly smaller tube or ring, I suspect the Steelheart would be about the same. Since the device is not the primary way in which Belle keeps me chaste, this is not a deal breaker, but I, like so many other chastity enthusiasts, still crave total security since, you know, it’s way hotter.
  • I find myself using hardly any lubrication at all with the Steelheart. The steel just seems to interact differently with my skin so that I don’t really need it. This improves security a bit and, I’ve found, also allows the device to sit up a little higher. I think anyone using a steel trapped-ball device like this one and lubing it up like a plastic one will be disappointed in how totally insecure it feels. Less lube should also translate to better hygiene, so perhaps that’ll help offset the other issues I’ve had.
  • I created a short video demonstrating how the integrated lock works. The only place I could find to host it (for free) was Xtube. If you can put up with all the shit going on elsewhere on the page and are interested in seeing how the lock works, check it out.

Other than that, everything’s hunky dory. I feel like I could wear this thing indefinitely and Belle and I are both very happy with how it looks. I’ll post further developments as they unfold…

Not that it matters

I had kind of a crappy day yesterday at work. Lots of negative energy and stress and, by the time I got home, I wanted to connect to Belle physically, but wasn’t exactly horny. It was one of those times where, had I still been able to, I would have gone and jerked off to relieve the stress. In any event, I told her I really wanted to do stuff that night and I think she understood it wasn’t the usual whiny horny Thumper speaking but her mate who needed some special attention.

“Special attention”, of course, takes on a whole new definition when one’s manparts are locked under stainless steel. As we were waiting for the offspring to fall asleep, we watched Stephen Fry in America and I showed her how the lock works on the Steelheart. After an appropriate amount of time, she told me to turn off the light and strip. When I started to strip while the light was still on, she chided me for not following directions.

Once I got the order figured out and asked permission to enter her bed, I assumed my preferred position – head down, ass in the air, face burrowing into her. With my legs spread, I felt the unfamiliar heft of the new device suspended between my legs. She ran her hands over my back and I moved up to get closer. She was on her back, I was on all fours above, kissing her and letting the device rub back and forth over her thigh.

“It’s so smooth,” she said. I think Belle really likes it. She’s the one who said it looked so natural the first time she saw it. I suppose she’s right. It does hang and curve like a real cock, albeit a big fat one made of warm steel.

I asked for and was allowed to touch her all over. Not being allowed to touch her breasts or between her legs makes those moments when I can all the more special. Soon, I was lapping and sucking on her nipples and feeling the new sensation of a curved, yet restrained erection in the steel tube. I held off on going anywhere else other than her breasts since I wanted to extend as much as possible the salutatory effects feeling her writhe to my touch was having on my grumpiness. Eventually, I got into a position where my mouth was on one nipple, my hand on the other, and the elbow of that arm pressed gently into her mons. She started to grind against it and moan. As she got hotter, I got hotter and the pressure in the tube got higher.

What I really wanted was to go down on her. As soon as I had her pajama bottoms off, I shifted my position first by crossing over to her other nipple and then pivoting down so I could plant my face on her snatch. I had to move quickly since she was very close to coming through nothing more than grinding against me so my time between her legs was all too brief. As she came, she squeezed my head hard with her thighs – so hard it hurt.

Afterward, I was pretty worked up. I spooned against her, hard tube nestled between her ass cheeks, and tried to allow sleep to overtake me.

“You can’t even tell when I’m hard,” I said, suggesting that the hard tube never changed regardless of what was going on inside it.

“No,” she replied, “Not that it matters.”


It took a while before sleep caught up with me.

Steelworxx Steelheart first impressions

brass and stainless

I’ve been wearing the new Steelworxx Steelheart for a little over eight hours now. Long enough to make some initial impressions:

  • Unsurprisingly, it’s a lot heavier than the CB6K. Duh, it’s made of steel, right? Not too heavy, but very noticeably there all the time (especially now since it’s new and all). The CB6K could feel very airy sometimes and kinda spacey while the Steelheart is incredibly dense.
  • I find it sits lower than the CB6K. I think that’s partly because of the weight, but also probably due to differences in the Steelheart’s ring. The CB6K’s A-ring is very thick and, I’ve found, holds on pretty well to the skin beneath. The Steelheart’s is just a steel ring. Kind like a thin cock ring, but with a weight welded on.
  • The integrated lock (seen above) is nice and sleek creating a much lower profile than the padlock used with the CB6K. A brass lock slides into a chamber made from parts welded to the ring and the tube fitted together. The end of it turns toward the body, holding it in place. Very cool. However, I’ve found the edges of the exposed brass part to be friggin’ sharp. If the lock get’s turned up and into the flesh, you can feel it. This happens more often than you might think. When I have a chance, I’m going to take the business end of my Dremel to those edges.
  • The PA fixing is (so far) marvelous. I can hardly tell it’s there. Actually, it’s more noticeable when the cock is hard than when it’s flaccid. On the CB6K, the ring in the PA has to drop through the slot in order to be secured with a cable. For me, that’s extends the cock too far and puts a slight yet intolerable amount of pressure on the piercing. On the Steelheart, the fixing is in a position relatively higher up the tube. When flaccid, there’s no sensation of pulling at all, but I do feel a bit of a pinch when hard, though so far it’s not proven to be that big of a deal.
  • I’m pretty sure that without the PA fixing, I could slide the Steelheart off with no trouble at all. Those of you who obsess over security and who aren’t pierced, beware.
  • I’ve found the steel to be incredibly sensual. It’s smooth and hard and warm and much more organic feeling than the plastic of the CB6K. In addition, the tube of the Steelheart curves a lot more than the CB6K. Somehow, it ends up looking more natural. Even Belle thinks so.
  • The tube of the Steelheart hides much better than the tube of the CB6K. I think this is partly because of the enhanced curve of the tube, but also because the device hangs lower. When sitting, it’s either invisible or looks very natural (like a slightly larger than normal bulge). The CB6K, with its flared head, strikes a much more noticeable profile. However, I found I need to switch to some fairly snug underwear to control the unnatural looking sway of the heavy metal.

I’m sure I’ll have lots more to say about it as time goes one. Tonight will be the first real test as the penile plumbing goes through a full cycle at about 4:30 AM. I will eventually get around to writing it all out, comparing it as much as possible to the CB6K since I have lots of experience wearing that and it’s so popular, along with many pictures. In the mean time, it’s…ah…well, kinda busy.

If you want to see a picture of it in situ, then you should be one of my Facebook friends of follow me on Twitter (links at the bottom of the page). I posted a sneak peek there. Otherwise, you’ll have to wait until Thursday.


Heard back from Deitmar. He did indeed ship the device on the 16th. I can only assume he used 214th class parcel post or something (the one where the mail carriers pass the box off as they happen upon one another while walking their routes). I’m told by Belle and Dev that Germany is a long way away and I should be more patient. Seems ironic that a guy who can skip coming for two months get’s all wadded up over how quickly his new orgasm denial mechanism will arrive. Anyway, the payment didn’t show up for Belle since PayPal, for some reason, sent the charge through to my PayPal credit card (which I’ve hardly ever used) and not our checking account as usual. They must have jinked with the default settings or something since that’s never happened before. So yeah, all is well on the Steelheart front. It’s just a waiting game now.

UPDATE: It has arrived. At least, at my local post office. I found a little registered mail notice in my mailbox when I got home. I’ll be picking it up in the morning! I may wet myself. OK, back to the post already in progress…

Belle locked me up again this morning. She told me last night as we were going to bed that I had been very good to her over the weekend. She was really relaxed and apparently quite pleased with my performance. Therefore, I was to be locked up first thing Monday morning. Not sure if that’s my reward or what, but I didn’t question her. I’m now wearing the chrome CB6K and thinking of its stainless brother bobbing aimlessly across the Atlantic in an empty peanut butter jar.

Something Steve said in one of his posts I linked to yesterday has me thinking:

If chastity were a commercial product I’d be one of those people on TV advertisements giving gushing unsolicited endorsements, where you can’t quite believe they didn’t get paid to say it.

Over on A Captivated Man (a well-written new chastity blog, BTW), I said in a comment:

I sometimes feel like I’m carrying around a secret only a few are allowed to know. I only wish I could tell my friends because the way orgasm denial has improved my relationship and overall sexual well-being is remarkable. It’s not unlike religion. I want to tell everyone to do it…

And it is a bit like religion, I suppose. One of those mind-expanding, life-altering practices that has such a huge and welcome impact on your existence that you just want to stand around in airports handing out pamphlets. In a way, I’m glad I don’t have any friends to which I can talk about this because I’m sure I’d be insufferable telling them how wonderful it is all the time. Yes, there are bumps and setbacks along the way, but when it’s working, it’s fucking spectacular.

There are few things men cherish more than their ability to experience sexual pleasure. Sure, women cherish that too, obviously, but men are conditioned by our culture to be especially tuned in with their own pleasure in a way women, unfortunately, aren’t. Perhaps not coincidentally, a man’s sexual organs are external and easily manipulated when aroused. Some guys, you can just see, are little more than extensions of their dicks. Most guys, I’d say, are, to a lesser degree, the same. I mean, men come a lot. More than you think. It’s easy and it’s fun and it sometimes seems as though the entire world is designed to celebrate that.

I’m speaking mostly from my own experience, of course, but there are few things I could offer Belle of higher value to me as a man than my ability to do that which defines my malehood. Not only that, but doing so has been a revelation to our relationship. My orgasm now has value. It has significance. Before, greater than 90% of them disappeared down a drain or clinging to a tissue in a trashcan, forgotten minutes after they came into being. Now, their bottled energy serves to power a whole new relationship dynamic that’s far richer and more fulfilling for us both. What I’ve sacrificed in quantity I’ve more than made up for in vastly higher quality. Orgasms now, to me, are no longer the objective, they are the path to the mountaintop. The act of making love no longer leads to them, it is made more profound by their absence.

This way of thinking flies in the face of everything we’ve been conditioned to think as men. Even when married, it’s clear that the male’s orgasm is meant first and always to be his, to do with what he likes. In my opinion, that way of thinking only serves to drive a couple apart. It may not create a divide in their relationship, but it certainly can aggravate it. Irrespective of a couple’s interest in overlaying D/s or any other BDSM component, allowing her to control his release ensures and enhances intimacy between them (when done right, of course). It maintains all the positive aspects of the very beginning of a relationship. At least, that’s what it does for us…

I’m not so far gone as to think what works for Belle and I would work for everyone. But I wish more people thought about orgasm control as a viable alternative to the dominant paradigm of heteronormal interaction. I’m not quite to the point where I’m likely to stand in an airport and recruit converts, but I am feeling more and more that there needs to be examples of this alternate existence openly and unashamedly out there. I have no idea how and in what form this would take were I so inclined to attempt it myself, but this works. It’s right. For us, it’s better than the “normal”.

People need to know.

Seeking my mojo

Thursday, Belle was at a work dinner and got home late. Apparently, their waiter was a hot young thing Belle found entirely satisfactory. At one point, she texted me telling me about him and how she wanted me ready when she got home since she got wet just looking at this guy.

Arriving home, she chose her still-unlocked cock to be her instrument of pleasure. At first, I thought I could hold back but it became clear, as she approached her orgasm, that I wasn’t going to make it. I started out by reciprocally stroking and stopped too late as the idea of her getting turned on looking at this younger guy took root in my imagination. As I sensed my impending failure, I tried to slow her down but only succeeded in causing her to miss a beat. As she rode me, fucking her cock deeply, I started to come inside her. Third time in a week. She continued to slide up and down – sending electricity though the cock, up my spine and bursting into my brain – as she eventually came to a quiet, satisfying orgasm. Afterward, she continued to slowly fuck the cock, making little exclamatory sounds. She was obviously enjoying herself while the extra sensory stimulation made the end of the cock feel like it was going to pop off.

That, more or less, explains my lack of blogging recently. Too many orgasms, not enough mojo. I was just starting to get back into the zone following the extravagance of my double-orgasm vacation when Thursday’s erupted. Today’s the first day I’ve felt anything like a return of my denied headspace since getting back from Mexico.

While away, I missed some very fine posts on the subject of prolonged orgasm denial over at The Glow Inside. I’m sure if you’re a regular reader of this blog you’re familiar with Steve’s, but if not, I wholeheartedly recommend three posts in particular: A Bowl of Wine, Five Minutes of Doubt, and especially Carried Along. He’s captured so well many of the things I felt as the days and weeks ticked by before Belle granted me a release in Mexico. If you’re interested in exploring the why of male orgasm denial, these posts are required reading.

In Steelheart news, Belle told me last night she never saw the Steelworxx charge come through. That, combined with the nine days that have passed since I received the email saying the device was about to ship, make me wonder if something’s up. I sent Deitmar an email today asking if he’s been paid yet. I’ve never been an especially patient person when it’s come to things like this, so I hope nothing’s wrong. Belle’s left me unlocked since we’ve expected the new device to arrive any day. Now I’m starting to worry. We’ll see what Deitmar says.

Mainstream femdom

This book’s been around a while, but I thought the way it was described in a catalog we have laying around was pretty funny. If they only knew…


Bad news: Contains no nudity.



First things first. While in Mexico, I received an email from Dietmar at Steelworxx saying our new Steelheart had been shipped. That was on Friday and I’m not sure how he shipped it so don’t know when it will arrive, but that was much faster than I thought it’d be. I expect by the end of the week, it’ll be here.

fucko_in_mexicoMexico was a lot of fun. As my previous post said, it offered me several chances to frolic au naturel, first on Wednesday before the couple we rented the house with arrived, and then again on Saturday while they were out and we stayed behind. There are few sensations more wonderful then that of the heat of the sun across all your skin and the warm breeze running though every hair on your body. The nearly-tropical sun is a force to be reckoned with, however, and even with ample SPF 70 on Belle’s cock, the effect of the sun’s radiation could be felt. I took measures to protect it and am happy to say it suffered no damage (though the rest of me is nicely tanned).

I had mentioned to Belle that I thought she might be on her period when we were in Mexico, but she said she wouldn’t. However, at the end of our second full day, the monthly visitor arrived. Since we typically don’t have sex when she’s on it and all my sexual energy is directed at her, I’ve become much more in tune with it’s ebbs and flows. Never underestimate the power of a man’s sex drive to focus his mind. In any event, she usually locks me up during her period, but we didn’t bring a device, so I lucked-out.

Before she got all bleedly, we did have a chance at some good, old fashioned fucking. The first time was in bed Thursday morning and was pretty tame and typical except for the fact that she let me come. Srsly! Unlike in the past, I was totally up for it and very excited. No second thoughts or any of that bullshit subbie remorse for me. I got her off, then she rolled over and I got busy for myself. The build-up was amazing. I felt the orgasm charging at me from the depths, flooding me with sensory overload all up and down my body, but, when it finally arrived, it didn’t really live up to the anticipation. I suspect that’s just a side-effect of waiting so long between shots, but when I was actually ejaculating, it didn’t feel right. I wasn’t even sure anything came out, though Belle assures me it did.

Later that day, we had two masseure at the house. They set up their tables out on our patio deck. The sun was coming though filtered clouds, so it was warm and wonderful and very, very sensual. My masseur was  a young man named Gabriel and, had I been 20 years younger and unmarried, would have sold my fucking soul to stay under his dreamy hands (and maybe a few other things). A. Maze. Ing. Best massage I’ve ever had, easily.

Once we were done, Belle and I retired to the upstairs Jacuzzi (the view from which is seen in the above picture) while the other couple got rubbed. I was feeling pretty frisky following Gabriel’s ministrations and had ample residual sexual need even after my morning’s orgasm. Soon enough, I was fucking Belle underwater (doing my best to keep the water from sloshing too noisily). She came, I did not. It was very nice. I guess you can add that to my outdoor naked activity list, too.

The morning of our last day in Mexico, Belle put the butterfly clamps on me and hit my nuts with the crop. It wasn’t a serious scene or anything, just a little sensation play, but enough to get me pretty riled up again. I asked if she’d allow me to masturbate and was soon laying back, feeling the length of the erection and the heavy PA ring flopping back and forth at the head of the cock. I was only going to edge myself, but she once again gave me permission to come and I didn’t look back. This time, the build-up was more normal and the actual shooting was fantastic. I felt each surge of fluid as it came out and found it satisfyingly copious.

I’ve said this before, but there’s something about the smell of semen now that’s just as novel and unusual as the act that produces it. It’s much more jarring as it hits my nostrils than it used to be. I just don’t smell it all that often, I guess.

So, there you have it. A brief recap of our Mexican adventure. After two orgasms, my subbie reservoir was pretty much empty. It’s been three days since I came and I can start to feel thin tendrils of it starting to wrap themselves around my brain again, but just barely. She implied yesterday that perhaps my attitude needed adjustment though locking up the cock again, but she didn’t have me do it. I think she’s waiting for the Steelheart to arrive.

I’ll be checking the mailbox regularly.

HNThumper IX

This HNT was snapped by my very own Belle Fille yesterday in the pool of our Mexican vacation villa just after getting me all worked up (which may be somewhat obvious). I was skinny dipping, but Belle, being the more demure of the two of us, decided to wear her suit since there are a few windows overlooking our patio. I, being the family exhibitionist, don’t really care who sees what.

A short while later, I was basking on a lounge chair in the hot afternoon sun, still naked as the day I was born, enjoying the heat on my body and the breeze over my skin. Vacation, my friends, is a wonderful thing.

I’ll see you all next week!

P.S. I’m posting this from my iPhone for the first time so I’m not exactly sure how it’s going to work out. Or how much it’s going to cost in international data roaming charges…