A reader’s questions

A reader sent me an email chock full o’ questions and, since I can’t get motivated to write about anything else, I thought I’d reply to them here…

Have followed your postings for some time and really enjoy them.

Thanks. I enjoyed many of them myself.

Does Belle control your appearance and grooming…hair, body hair, nails etc.?  Does she ever groom you or tell you how she wants it done?  How are they kept?

Not any more than any other wife. She likes me to look a certain way, but it’s not always the way I want to look and also not always appropriate for work (don’t get carried away – she like me on the scruffy side, is all). I probably would modify my appearance for her if she asked me to.

Ever get into bondage or cock and ball torture?  How have you been tied or what have you had done to cock and balls?

If you’ve followed me for some time, you’ll know I’m very into CBT and bondage. I’m not always in the mood, but when I am (or when Belle pulls me into it), I like it a lot.

As far as what’s been done, Belle’s punched me in the nuts, applied Icy Hot to them, pinched and squeezed them, affixed clothespins in and around the area, and (while tied up) rested a bag of ice on the entire package. I have a fantasy of her really kicking or kneeing them, but have thus far not pushed it because I’m not sure where the line is. I have grown to really appreciate testicle pain (again, while in the right mood), but am afraid of actually damaging them.

Now that I think of it, I recall that, prior to being with Belle, my masturbatory habits included wrapping a light chain (dog leash) around my cock and balls in order to cause constriction. In what was probably a strong foreshadowing of my future kinks, I liked the sensation of binding and squeezing. At some point, I lost the chain and used other various objects such as boot laces.

Ever get tied, tortured or used by another guy?  Interested in that?

No, I haven’t. Interested? Well, sure, in the same way I’m interested in any guy at this point. I’m not going to be acting on my interests since the rules of my relationship don’t allow it, but I think the dynamic differences in being topped by a guy versus a woman would be fantastic to experience. Guys have the ability to penetrate in a way that’s very obviously dominating.

Do you find yourself more bi as you are in chastity without cuming longer?

I am not any more or less queer when in chastity, but I am metric tonnes more horny. I feel as though I’m a perfect Kinsey 3 in that I’m usually equally attracted to women  and men. My level of frustration doesn’t change the direction of my attractions, though it can make them much more intense.

Ever made to service other guys or women?

I’m up to anything, but Belle’s not interested in sharing, as far as I know.

Sure these seem like random questions…I appreciate your answering them.

No problem.

I’d like to learn more about you.


Chastity is a huge turn on to me.

Me, too.

Belle free

Sometime, things just don’t work the way you think they should (or want them to).

A couple of examples. First, that nifty little keysafe thing I got to keep my emergency keys in. Yeah, well, that broke the first time Belle opened it. Quality. Then the penis plug I ordered showed up. Yeah, that ended up being too fat to fit up my urethra. And trust me, I tried. At least it’s a quality piece of stainless. If nothing else, it’ll look great dangling from my keyring next to the car keys.

Then there was Belle’s cock. It started to feel a little weird in the tube in that overly sensitive and irritated way it does after it’s been in for a while. In this case, it had been three weeks exactly. She let me take it off to inspect the hotdog and, while there were no visible signs of wear, she let it stay out for the day to recuperate. That night, she wanted it back in. Not only because she was about to leave town for a few days (and she never leaves me alone anymore with free meat) but also because she expects and prefers my default condition to be locked.

But I asked not to be. Truth is, I was kinda sorta miserable. I can be locked indefinitely and enjoy it, but absent any external stimulation, it starts to become monotonous. So, even though she was going to be gone, she agreed to leave me out as long as I didn’t go overboard with the jacking off to porn. And, of course, I wasn’t allowed to orgasm.

In the past couple of days, I did manage to fit in a significant amount of self abuse. I really enjoyed the edging and took myself to the brink innumerable times, but found, after a while, a little voice creeping in to my mind as I did it. It wasn’t exactly telling me I should go ahead and come, but it seemed to be trying to distract me at the very worst moment so I’d accidentally find myself all gooey. Make me miss half a beat until the moment of no return was passed. I didn’t come, but it seemed as though I was crossing the admittedly vague guidelines she left me with. Time to stop.

But, of course, I have terrible self-control. So, I decided to lock myself back up. I know it’s not the same as when she’s around since I know exactly where the key is, but the device is serving as my deterrent. Also, the edging – even though Belle wasn’t part of it – was just what I needed. I don’t need any more at the moment, though I really want it. Once I was back in the device I felt an odd sense of wholeness descend. Not like last time where it felt alien and intrusive. This time, being out felt out of sorts and being back in felt normal. The device has become my security blanket.

In any event, I look forward to the next few days very much. The kids are going to be out of the house for three nights and Belle and I are spending one of them in a lovely B&B we’ve gone to in the past. I really, really need to have sex with her, and more than once. I need, in the very bottom of my soul, to feel her come hard. I desperately want to find myself back in the pre-London subspace. I don’t think one weekend can fix everything, but I hope it’s the beginning to the way out of the particular rough patch.

A wee bit o’ nerdery

A couple of chastity nerdery items…

First, I’ve switched to a higher gauge PA ring. Not sure what gauge it is (maybe 8), but it’s way thinner than my 4ga ring. I’ve found that the lighter, thinner ring is significantly quieter in the tube than the heavier one. I primarily went to 4 ga for the looks, but I can’t see it in the tube anyway, right? The only slight downside to the higher gauge ring is that I can remove and replace the ball without tools, however that’s really a moot point since I can’t get the ring into a position where the ball is accessible anyway. I figure for those few and far between times I’m not locked up, I can always put the bigger ring back in.

Second, I have a new method for carrying around an emergency key. We’ve tried a couple of different methods in the past that usually involved the key being taped in a tamper-resistent way and carried around in my wallet, but I’ve worried about the key (a rather long and spindly thing) breaking. Also, whenever we’ve needed to use mine (since she’s lost hers a few times), it’s involved a bit of effort getting it back into tamper-resistant mode.

Yesterday, I picked up a little combination key safe. It’s light and made of plastic and uses a custom combination only Belle knows (the wire loop is for attaching it to a doorknob or something – totally useless for me so I might cut it off at some point). She wrote the combination on a piece of paper that was then wrapped in tape and stickers, etc., so that I couldn’t get into it without her knowing. The safe goes in my computer bag (which is nearly always with me) and the number goes in my wallet (and she gets to see it on demand). On the plus side, I can store the keys to both her locks in it so I know I always have the right one with me. On the minus side, in my bag isn’t quite so close as in my wallet, so there’s a better (though slight) chance I may need it one day and not have access.

In other news, we’re thinking of getting a second device. Well, fourth device actually since the Steelheart is the third after the two CB6Ks, but I don’t count the plastic anymore since Belle far prefers the look and feel of the steel and will likely never make use of the others again. In any event, this time we’re considering the Steelworxx Looker 01 (who came up with that name?). It’s an open cage style which will help with hygiene, but it’s most notable feature is an integrated hollow urethral tube. This would obviously make urinating way easier, and I presume is also a security feature since it extends past the A-ring, but I’m not sure of the practicality of wearing something like that over the long haul. It’s more expensive than the Steelheart, but I think I may be able to get it cheaper as I wouldn’t need an A-ring or lock since it uses the same types as the other Steelworxx devices. Also, with the euro trading so closely to the dollar now, there’s never been a better time.

The image from the Steelworxx site shows an incredibly short cage. They say the tube should measure the same size as the flaccid penis it’s meant to secure, but that would make it quite a bit smaller than the Steelheart tube I wear now. While the “flaccid length” of a given penis is highly variable, a reasonable measurement of mine is about 34 mm in diameter and 85 mm long. The Steelheart is 35 mm across and 105 mm long. Twenty extra millimeters in length seems like a huge difference. That’s about 6 mm narrower than the cock when erect and about 65 or so millimeters shorter. I’ve never worn any device that small with a hard-on. I’m not even sure it’s possible.

Another new thing I hope to be experimenting with soon is a solid penis plug. The idea being that one way to ruin an orgasm is to keep the ejaculate from escaping the body either by pressing a thumb down with force over the slit (which, by the way, is called the meatus – who knew?) or by pinching the shaft closed just under the head (apparently, the ejaculate gets redirected into the bladder). I’m wondering if this is a way for Belle to enjoy her cock while not having to worry if I come as a result. I’ve never tried to have an orgasm in this way so I don’t know what it’ll feel like nor have I ever used a penis plug so I’m not even sure I can get it in there. Either way, it wasn’t that expensive. As soon as we get a chance to use it, I’ll let you know.

I thought I’d mention those last two things to get the perspective of any readers who have experienced anything similar or just want to spout off with their point of view. So, you know, feel free.

UPDATE: In poking around the Steelworxx site, I noticed they now offer a Thumper-style PA fixing (though that’s not what it’s called). Cool!

What they don’t tell you

For those of you keeping score at home, you’ll know I’ve been locked up for just over two weeks now. Sixteen days, to be exact. During that time, I think I’ve given Belle one orgasm. Maybe two. I can’t remember. Bottom line is, it hasn’t been all that eventful around here.

This is the stuff they don’t talk about in the hawt chastity porn. The week where she’s slammed at work and doesn’t touch you because she’s exhausted followed by the week she gets sick and isn’t in the mood followed by her period. Oh baby, do that to me one more time. And you know, as a normal guy, I’d take things into my own hand and deal, but I’m not a normal guy, am I? Not by any stretch of the imagination. She wants and expects I’ll be locked in the device all of the time, even when when she’s busy tired sick and menstruating. And so I wait. And I get kinda down. And I forget why I started doing this in the first place.

I suppose there are those of you out there who come here to fantasize over the sex stuff who might even think this is hot. A guy, totally unable to not only act on his sexual frustration but also beginning to lose it due to inactivity, locked in stainless steel…no end in sight…WHACK WHACK WHACK. Well, have a nice time. Don’t let me stop you.

I don’t blame Belle. How could I? Busy weeks happen. Sickness happens. Periods happen. Sometimes, they even happen all on top of each other. But that doesn’t make it any easier. All those “be careful what you wish for” bullshit stories out there talk about the exact opposite of my problem. Trust me, as a guy who’s been there, too, this is way harder.

I’m not saying I want to stop. I’m not saying I want out. All I’m saying is, I want this time to be over so I can go back to enjoying Belle and the condition in which she keeps me.