On my own recognizance

I’m done being sick. Well, I’m 92% done being sick. I’m feeling much better.

Monday night, I was feeling so crappy that every last scrap of my libido was obliterated and the device was seriously bumming me out. Belle’s still gone, so I popped the emergency key and took the Steelheart off. I only felt slightly guilty because I know Belle would have let me take it off had she been here. Regardless, there was zero chance I was going to do anything against the rules. There’s no better chastity then whatever the fuck I had.

Tuesday, I went to work in the morning but bailed before lunch. I still had no interest in the unencumbered meat, but I was feeling well enough to try the PA-5000 again and see if my theory about using a smaller gauge hook would make it more comfortable. Short story is no. I wore it for about eight hours and started to feel the same uncomfortableness in my PA so I took it out. In a perfect world, I would have put the SH back on, but I could tell there was still no risk of falling off the wagon.

Today, as I said, I feel much better, but the cock still lies dormant. My illness seems to have reset whatever denial vibe I had going back to zero (or maybe even less than zero) and my interest in sex is only barely recognizable as living. There’s a pulse, but not much else. I feel like I’m treading a fine line between legitimately letting myself out due to illness and abusing the opportunity, especially since Belle won’t be back until tomorrow to make sure I’m on the up and up. I honestly don’t want want to take advantage of the situation. Not that I could at the moment. I’m fairly uninterested in anything sexual and am not sure the equipment would cooperate even if I could muster the required focus.

In any event, if my recovery continues along its current trajectory, I may need to reestablish control tonight. I’ll be at the Twins game (GO TWINS!) until late and may just be too tired when I get home, but as I said, there is a very slight stirring down there. The pilot light is on and I can just now feel the tank starting to heat up. If not tonight, then no later than tomorrow morning. I don’t think I could legitimately justify being out by the time I see Belle again tomorrow night.

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