Just a theory

Following up on yesterday’s post, I’ve been wondering something.

I said:

Being diminished in that way really worked for me.

And…

I like the feeling of being optional and a beneficiary of her charity.

And…

I felt she knew exactly what she wanted for her and was in total control of how it happened.

And it was good.

And then in a comment:

If I can stay in the right frame of mind and recall the feeling I have right now, then completely severing any right of mine to her pleasure – to really and truly accept my role – could be revelatory and powerful.

What I wonder is if this isn’t where the cuckold fantasy comes from. It could be just a natural progression from…

  1. Learning to pleasure a woman without your cock, and
  2. Starting to think of her pleasure as your pleasure, and
  3. Reveling in her becoming more confident in finding a way to her pleasure that’s all her own, and
  4. No longer thinking of your cock as something that’s part of the sex she’ll have with you, and finally
  5. Learning to take pleasure in her pleasure regardless of whether or not you’re involved.

No, I’m not a cuck and Belle has never shown any interested in being with another man and I’m quite sure there’s a whole lot more going on in relationships where this has happened, but for me, I can see the path to the fantasy pretty clearly. I want her to be totally and completely sexually fulfilled. It has, truly, become the primary way I find my own fulfillment. I also have developed a taste for being treated quite unfairly. Even to the point of liking it when she belittles and humiliates me. I really like it. I can’t think of any more potent way to do that than taking another lover. A more satisfying one.

I have a bunch of fantasies that would never work outside my head. This might be one of them. But, the progression makes sense to me. Not that I’ll ever find out, of course, since Belle’s demonstrated zero interest in heading off in that direction.

That being said, if she was interested in plucking these particular heartstrings of mine, she was heading in the right direction the other night. Were she to remind me that, while I may be adept at utilizing the tools that lead to her pleasure, I’m not the actual implement of that pleasure. She used Pink during her night in the hotel spa just fine without me, after all. In fact, I’m not even capable of being the implement of her pleasure. I can barely last a full minute inside her now. There’s little chance I could satisfy her in the condition I most often find myself. She could remind me of that. How this cock I’ve given her isn’t much use for anything anymore.

It seems counterintuitive to treat your lover with such disrespect. It goes against everything you see in popular culture and learn through normal socialization. But, yeah. I get it. I really do.

4 thoughts on “Just a theory

  1. I’m Mixed up about this feeling. Part of me loved that feeling of being lesser, and always horny, and willing to trade anything for her pleasure. Like you I was rarely allowed inside sandy and couldn’t last long. This compared to a very good staying power before denial came in to our life. 

    But I found after the first couple of years that I felt lessened by never being able to do that for her. Even if only occasionally. Where initially the feeling was deliciously humiliating, after a while it started to make me feel bad about myself. I wonder if going far down this road will eventually lead to an unexpected turn where a man thinks, actually, I feel it is my job and part of my self worth to be able to give my lover a good long fuck, now and then. 

    Of course its dangerous to extrapolate from one persons experience. Just got me thinking though. 

    1. Time will tell. I can’t say how I’ll feel in, say, a year just as I’d have never suspected I’d feel as I do now a year or two ago. Also, you’re a switch which means your motivation and the way this kind of interaction affects you could be different than mine. I’ve never really topped anyone, but being sub just feels right to me.

  2. “This might be one of them. But, the progression makes sense to me.”

    I just love the cuck fantasy! Especially, telling my husband all my thoughts while he is servicing me. It seems only natural for these thoughts to go there when one is in this type of sexual relationship. Now that being said, this is one great fantasy that will not become reality in our book. Chastity has enough complications to deal with.

  3. Yes I’ve been thinking about how my being a switch affects the dynamic and I’m now starting to believe it is a key difference. I think you are right about that. It’s probably the other side talking when that feeling pops up.

    One thing is for sure. The sub dynamic makes you both happier and as such wherever it leads is probably going to be good for you.

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