Month: February 2012

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Stoned

As if three colds weren’t enough. Last week, my daughter came down with some kind of nasty stomach flu which she passed to me 24 hours later. It was bad. I didn’t like it one bit. But, it wasn’t as bad as what came right on it’s heels.

I didn’t go to a doctor, but I’m fairly certain I had a kidney stone. I woke up Friday at about 3:30 AM with a sharp and intense pain in my side just under my ribcage. It got progressively worse until we called a nurse and she said to take some Tylenol and rest comfortably. If you’ve ever had one of these evil little things, you know “resting comfortably” is outside the realm of possibility, though I was able to minimize the pain by laying still and using a hot pad. By daylight, the pain was coming and going and changing positions (moving from my side towards the front of my abdomen). I was able to get up and help get the previously sick girl off to school only to be struck by the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my whole life as soon as she left. I broke out in a cold sweat and felt like I was going to throw up. Absolutely horrid.

Then it went away. Poof. Gone. Only minor and infrequent twinges remain (some of which I was still getting yesterday). The new symptom is occasional and overwhelming urges to pee. Even when I know there’s nothing there, I have the feeling of needing to go. It’s not unlike how the prostrate will sometimes feel when I’ve been denied a long time and I know it’s all plump and ready to go, but way stronger. This, along with the pain, are classic kidney stone symptoms.

The part I haven’t had yet is the actual passing of the stone. I don’t know if it always involves pain during urination, but I’ve had nothing like that. Yet. Time will tell if I get to have the full meal deal. I suppose at some point I should go to a doctor, but from everything I’ve read, they don’t do anything about them most of the time and let them work themselves out naturally. I can do that at home and save the co-pay.

On the non-medical front, Belle and I both felt good enough on Saturday morning for some real sex. I busted out my emergency key at the hight of the barfing because the device was really, really not making me feel any better being on there (and I was about three light years from wanting to do anything with the penis anyway), but life had returned to all corners of my totally free body by Saturday. She not only let me fuck her, she let me come. It wasn’t a great orgasm (as is common after a longish denial) and I came really fast (one minute, tops) and she made me put the device back on as soon as it was over. It wasn’t unit this morning that I didn’t resent the damned thing. That magical cloaking device I was talking about last time was stone cold dead and has only started to flicker into life since I woke up this morning. Starting to get horny again. Apparently, the cloak operates on pure hormones (not antimatter like on Star Trek).

So there you are. Up to speed. Hopefully, the infirmary-like atmosphere around the house is gone for a long time.

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Three colds and a period

It’s been more than two weeks since Belle and I had any kind of sex. First, she had a nasty cold. Then she got her period and, a few days later, I got a cold. Not the same cold since at about the time I started to feel OK again, she got my cold. It’s all conspired against us.

So, this is one of those periods of time when a guy like me starts to question his predicament. I was fortunate in that there were few times in which I actually felt the “otherness” that sometimes attaches to the device. When the facade slips and my brain recognizes it for what it really is: A foreign object locked to my body. It’s the worst when it feels unnatural. That just acerbates my stewing and foul mood. For the most part, though, it’s cloaking device has worked and I’ve accepted it as part of me. Even with how it flips and flops and is constantly pulling in the opposite direction of the rest of me. Even in the morning when the nocturnal plumbing it at its maximum. It hasn’t woken me up more than just a little in days and, to the extent that it does, I simply roll over and go back to sleep feeling comforted by my constricted state.

When things are like this, when there’s no sex and it’s been more than a month since I came and my brain continues to buy into the fantasy that the penis is made of metal, I slip into this weird void space. I start to feel like this other kind of thing. A being that’s simultaneously sexless yet instantaneously aroused. Not a man. Something we don’t have a word for.

There may be some of you out there reading this with your free-range dicks getting all hard and turned on by that kind of talk, but it’s simply the most difficult thing about long term enforced chastity. Not being able to have a proper hard-on, not being able to wrap your hand around it, reaching down to find only an unfeeling mass of hot metal and a sack of fat testes as your only genitalia. Having nothing at all to do with your need for any kind of sexual release (even if its hers). When it’s bad, it’s really bad. It turns you into something you have no experience being.

And I have been feeling that lately. It’s not Belle’s fault and I don’t feel any anger at all toward her for it. It’s just how things are. Last night, though, as we watched TV in bed, things changed somehow. I actually do have experience being this way now. With a little inadvertent help from Belle, I found my way out.

It started with her hand on my ass. Sometimes, we lay in bed and I put my head on her midsection and stretch out in the opposite direction. Last night, in that position, she slipped her hand into my pajama pants and lightly stroked my ass. This kind of simple affectionate touching is like catnip to a guy in my position. It simultaneously excites and soothes my hormone addled mind. Sometimes, when we’re in bed with the Sunday paper, she strokes the hair under my arm. Same thing. I could let her do that for days. I literally can’t get enough of it.

Anyway, hand stroking ass cheek. Two hours later, it was bed time and I was really worked up. Lights out, Belle asleep, and I’m feeling sorry for myself. Not mad. Not annoyed. Just sorry. After several near misses with sleep, I realized that I wasn’t in the void space anymore. The hand on the ass had been enough to stir me and I was coasting on the sleepless wave of chastity, constantly almost asleep only to be made more alert by a momentarily filled tube reacting to a new sexual vision or the turning of my body to a new position and feeling how that made the device press into me in a different way. I was fucking horny.

On the one hand, I really wanted to sleep. I was tired, still recovering, and have an appointment with the trainer this afternoon. I need my rest. On the other, I was excited and even happy to be back in frustrated horndog mode. As annoying as it was, it’s why I do this, after all. It’s the feeling I’ve come to associate with good things. It’s my natural state.

Somehow, I eventually did fall asleep. Sometime between midnight and one o’clock. Then, awake with Belle’s alarm at quarter to six. Not much, but enough. Just happy to be out of the fog.

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chastity.xxx – UPDATED

There’s a new site called chastity.xxx on the web. Typically, I wouldn’t mention this (unless it was a really good site and this one’s not), but chastity.xxx is doing something patently sleazy.

First things first. I’m not linking to chastity.xxx because I don’t want them to see my site in their referrers (which is how I found them). If you want to see the site, you can type its URL into your browser the old fashioned way. Not that I think you should bother. It’s pointless.

Now, why do I think it’s sleazy? It’s not the way it advertises crappy chastity devices nor is it the tasteless click farm to various video porn sites (for which I assume chastity.xxx is an affiliate getting some kind of kick-back). No, it’s the fact that in the site’s main navigation, the blog link goes here and the forum link goes to Chastity Forums implying that I am somehow affiliated with the site or endorse it.

Neither is true.

If the owner of chastity.xxx is reading this, I would like you to immediately remove all links to my sites.

UPDATE: I’ve been told the owner of the site is someone who posts on Chastity Forums and is, by all accounts, a nice guy. That may be true, but I’d still appreciate having links to my sites removed. If I was listed among other sites in a blogroll kind of thing or as a resource, that’d be fine, but by linking to me from the main navigation, a relationship is suggested that simply doesn’t exist.

UPDATE 2: The links have been removed.

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Mailbag

From this week’s mailbag:

My Goddess and I have been keeping up with your blog for a while now.   We have a female lead relationship and have been talking of chastity (orgasm control) for some time and have looked at many device options.  It would seem that there are many views on how to correctly measure for a device and as noted many customer and non-customer makers are different in how they view there sizing.   Would you mind sharing your insight on how to measure for the most optimal sizing for extended use/wear.  🙂 Thank you for any insight you would be able to and or willing to share.

As I’ve said in the past, Mature Metal’s guide to measurement is, in my opinion, the way to go. I’ve had commenters here on the blog take exception with it and specifically how tight to make the A-ring, but at the end of the day, personal preference and your own physical tolerance is a big part of the puzzle. I like it when my device doesn’t feel like it’s always slipping off or that the penis could back right out any time I wanted it to (PA fixing not withstanding), so I go for a more snug fit in the ring. I do pay a price for that at night and when the penis is aroused, though. It’s not intolerable and it’s a sensation I can even become accustomed to and sleep through, but the ring, she does bite. The thing about me is, I like bondage and I like the feeling of extreme constriction and I even like the throbbing of an erection stuck in a tube less than half its size. Smaller tubes are better than big ones.

Regardless, I think MM’s tube length advice is spot-on and the right place to start.

Hey, it is me again, mike. i was having the problem with the penis head hurting but did as you suggested and removed the stealheart for a couple of days then put it back one, Have had it back on for over a week and no problems at all. So, i took the big step and yesterday gave the key to my partner and signed a six month contract. So, i will be locked up for the next six months and know He will not let me out due to He is in the Navy and heads out to sea Tuesday and will not be back till July and He took both keys and put them in His safty deposit box that i dont have access too. Wish me luck, i will need it. i’m the guy that likes to jack off a couple of times each day and it is already driving me nuts and He leaves sin two days and i’m horny as hell !

I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and say this is totally genuine and your typos aren’t due to one-handed typing.

I’m happy you have a guy who’s willing to lock you up, but I’m not entirely sure this is a good situation for you. It’s really, really hard to be separated from your dick and not getting any attention from one’s partner (and, at the same time, not have one’s partner to pay attention to) during long-term denial. I don’t recall if this new Steelheart is the first device you’ve had or if you are an old hand at chastity, but there’s still the possibility that you’ll have fit issues you’ll need to deal with. I wouldn’t ever want to be locked into a steel device without relatively easy access to an emergency key. Can you get into his safe depot box?

That’s just me sounding like a worried mother. I get how hot the situation is now for you. I hope you still find it so in six weeks.

I love your blog.  Have you posted a copy of the Covenant you signed with Belle?

It was posted on the blog for some time, but she decided it was too much, so we simplified. Now it’s pretty much “whatever Belle says” and we leave it at that. Truth is, I got a lot more out of it than she did.

Finally, I forgot to post this last bit a while back. As usually, Tom was the more responsible of the two of us and did it when he was supposed to while I procrastinated. In any event, it seems as though my pal Dishevelled Domina is asking women who are dominant (or perhaps even those upon who the title has been foisted) to agree to be interviewed.

If you are a woman who likes to decide the how and when of sex, I have some questions for you. You needn’t consider yourself a dominatrix or even claim the title dominant woman. If you enjoy taking the lead in bed or setting the pace sexually, I’d like to know a little more about you. Female sexuality is incredibly diverse and if you are a woman who prefers to be more in control than your partner then you are the kind of gal I want! Please email me at dishevelleddomina@gmail.com

That’s all I got for now. If you have a question or comment or other morsel of communicative goodness you want to pass my way, don’t forget about the feedback page.

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HNThumper XLI: Scale

Whilst out over the weekend, Belle let me take a bath in my unsecured condition. She gave me a look when I asked if I could that told me all I needed to know. Be good. No coming.

Of course not! Wouldn’t think of it (well, I would think of it, but that’s all). In fact, I was going to take the opportunity to put the device back on as she had instructed me. Beforehand, though, I accidentally found myself all engorged and in the wrong condition for locking. I took the opportunity to record something I don’t recall ever showing you before: A comparison of the Steelheart Short’s tube and the full erection that attempts to form within it.

Continue reading “HNThumper XLI: Scale”

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The best chastity underwear

Note: I’ve since published an updated and expanded list of recommendations with lots more pictures of yours truly in his skivvies. 

Underwear can be tricky. Some guys wearing trapped ball devices eschew it entirely, though I find that leaving the device totally unsupported will eventually cause sore spots, especially in a heavier steel device like the Steelheart. For the rest of us, picking the right pair is a balance between stealth and comfort.

The stealthiest underwear compresses everything down and as flat to the body as possible (think about any pair of tighty whities you’ve ever worn – something like this). Necessary for certain situations and for short periods, but life’s too short to come home every day with aching wobbly bits. I’ve found that the most comfortable underwear type is something like the N2N G-string. I have several pairs of these and they provide the bare minimum of support necessary to ensure the weight of the device isn’t being fully borne by genitalia. On the other hand, their generous pouch and stretchy strings do almost nothing to hide the tube. It’s almost like going commando, so I typically reserve their use for when I’m wearing baggier pants (or feel like putting on a show).

After much trial and error, I’ve found what I think is the best balance for those wearing a device like mine. They’re the line of “natural pouch” briefs by John Sievers. They provide a modest amount of stealth while not squashing anything. After the jump, you’ll find some NSFW images and more info.

Continue reading “The best chastity underwear”

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Bill’s query

From a reader named Bill:

I enjoy your blog and have been reading for a couple  years now.  Thanks for your insights.  My wife and I have been playing at this for the past two years and she surprised me this year by saying she wants me in a device pretty much full time for a month or two at a time.

I have a Jailbird from Mature Metal.  I’m not pierced and am skiddish about doing so.  However, the thought of being absolutely unable to get out is driving me more toward getting one.

I’ve seen some urethral inserts on some devices that would seem to also do the job of preventing pullout.  My question –  you have any experience with these and can they be worn pretty much full time?  If you don’t, do you know of a site that has reviewed these devices?

First of all, good for you and your wife! Many women seem to end up where your wife is now.

Inescapability is a heady concept. It’s one thing to be in your device because you’re being good and are choosing not to defeat it but something else entirely to know you can’t get out no matter how badly you want to. Some guys don’t need it or are too squicked out by the steps they need to take to ensure it, but others (like me) kink on it so hard they’re willing to do what’s necessary.

Of course, I don’t (yet) have experience with devices that are secured via urethral tubes. There’s much controversy about them on the forums and sites I’ve visited with some saying it’s an invitation to a urinary infection (though I can’t recall reading that anyone actually came down with one due to a device equipped with a tube). The bigger issue seems to be that some men lack the natural oils necessary to keep the tube in a state where the surrounding meat can move freely as the penis expands and contracts. I have read reports of the urethra “drying out” for some guys and sticking to the insert causing discomfort and even bleeding. This is not a universal complaint, though. There are also reports by guys with no issues whatsoever. Problem is, devices of this kind are among the most expensive and there’s only one way to find out what kind of guy you are.

Based on my experience with PA jewelry, I suspect I may have a “dry” urethra. I find that the larger rings occasionally will stick and stop moving freely so I assume an insert would do the same. It’s the main reason I haven’t tried that kind of device (when, on balance, it’s a fantastically expensive experiment).

PA security is not without issues either. There’s the occasional pinching and it takes up room in the tube (both the ring and whatever it’s secured with). But, if you’re asking for my advice, I’d get poked. The event itself is way, way less harrowing than you’re imagining (over in a jiffy and it heals relatively quickly). Once it’s done and healed up, it is, based on my experience, the best way to totally secure your meat inside a device.

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Yeah, but what about the sex?

“You might get into the voting booth, but you won’t be casting a ballot.”

That’s what my Belle Fille said to me this morning as I suckled her breast and fingered her snatch. She had let me out Friday night so the penis was perky and expectational.

But I jump ahead. It occurs to me that I haven’t posted much about our sex life recently, so I’m going to play catch up now.

About midway through January, Belle let me come. I had just been let out for “cleaning and maintenance” and she was going to tease me with a hand job. The hand job started and I was rapidly taken to the edge and she just never stopped. It wasn’t an accident. She wanted me to come. Then she wanted me to put the Steelheart back on. I wasn’t even out for half the day, but I did get cleaned out.

The next weekend, she treated me to two of her orgasms, one brought about with my fingers and the other with my mouth. Both left me hot and bothered since the one orgasm didn’t lessen my desire too much. If anything, it left it somewhat sharper.

Then she got sick. Stomach thing. Not fun. But I whined on Friday and she, in her weakened condition, let me out. Two uninterrupted nights of sleeping followed by a lazy Sunday morning adventure in bed.

So, as I was saying, I was fingering her and sucking her tits and generally enjoying her body and the penis was very pert and attentive beside her. After she came, she invited me in for the first time this year and I leapt at the opportunity. I had the heavy barbell in the PA and could feel it move  and turn in the piercing as the end of the penis came almost all the way out and then as deep as it could back in. I fucked her not like the frustrated lizard I used to be, but like the tamed bunny I am. Gently and gratefully. Enjoying the exquisite sensations of the folds of her pussy caressing the penis shaft, but not forgetting that this was a gift from her to me. It’s different when I know I can come. Then the lizard takes over. But this was not that. So I kissed her mouth and cradled her head and fucked her like I could break her if I got too carried away.

“That’s it, Thumper. Time to come out.” How long had that been? No idea. God, I wanted to come. Fuck, I wanted to stay inside her.

I thanked her and embraced her and flexed the denied penis one more time while it was still surrounded by her. Then I withdrew and fell back beside her. The penis, still thick with desire and slick from her juices, slapped wetly agains my leg. I gripped it. Squeezed it. Pushed my baser instincts back into their cave.

“I want you back in by the end of the day.”

And so I am.