Mailbag 6

A note from a reader:

To make a long story short, I’m a gay male who plays with like minded guys in BDSM and leather. I have a great group of friends and I have recently discovered long term chastity. I’m still somewhat new to the game, the longest I’ve spent locked down is about ten days. I’m currently locked into a birdcage silicone chastity device for another week long stretch. I really love the feeling of wearing a device for long periods and slowly I’m getting used to the sensation of the strap around my balls, the constriction when I start to get hard, and making it through the night without waking up every five minutes. That last one has been REALLY tough, but it does certainly get easier with time.

Here’s my question: I find that after a few days in chastity, I start to get really comfortable in the device (Most of the time I don’t even notice that I’m wearing it) but on the other hand I hit certain points in the day when I seem to experience what can only be called “intense hormone spikes”. Its like I get these sudden sensations of extreme horniness and I suddenly feel super aggressive, like I’m about to put my fist through the wall (actually I almost did that the other day…) If I can make it through these sensations for about five minutes they normally pass without incident. However it is getting harder to hide these sudden moments of hyper arousal at work and I really don’t like the way they make me feel temporarily out of control (especially when I’m with colleagues, slamming my fist into the wall for no apparent reason in front of my boss… definitely not cool.)

So would you consider these “surges” normal? And if so, any tips for how handle it, especially when you’re in a public setting?

The level of hormones we carry when we’re being denied orgasm for more than just a few hours was not part of our original design specification. We’re designed to release them at regular intervals (sometimes, very regularly). There’s an always-on stream of hormones feeding into our blood stream and, after a bit, it’s natural to expect some kind of affect.

I can relate to your surges of aggression. I’ve have them too, but usual only to the point where I want to punch the monkey, not a wall (but you know, we’re all wired a little differently). I find when I’m denied that all my emotions are closer to the surface. I have experienced palpable rushes of horniness in the most innocuous of situations. One time in particular, I can recall being in a business meeting at a client in a room with about six young attractive females (and no other men) and having to deal with the most intense images of them in various states of undress flashing though my head and right down to the penis in its cage (which, in turn, caused me to shift uncomfortably in my chair, as  you can imagine). So, in response to your final question, yes, even in a public setting. There’s nothing you can do to stop how you feel regardless of where you are.

Some people find these interruptions to be intolerable, either too difficult to deal with or too distracting or whatever, and use them as a sign that it’s time for an orgasm. I do know that eventually these things tend to level out. Sooner or later, that always-on stream of hormones starts to slack a bit and the high peaks of hormonal emotional interruptions get cut off. You body adjusts to its new reality and, in a way, you start to crave the frustrating surges. Personally, when I’m really in the zone, I can’t get enough of them. They’re like crack. But, as I say, mine don’t often manifest towards physical aggression (only self-abuse).

Here’s hoping things level out for you sooner rather than later or that you can at least learn to control yourself in front of the boss. 😉