Several comments on my post about Belle’s decision to tattoo me as a way to commemorate my permanent denial.

Dave said…

If this is what you both really want, then you should consider chemical castration. This would make it easier for you and would prevent future accidents. If the chemicals work out, then consider the surgery this would really make it permanent.

Castration would be the exact opposite thing we should do. My desire for orgasm is what powers my role in our dynamic. Anything that would remove that desire would be my kryptonite. Also, Belle wants a mate who’s hot and bothered over her. She likes it when I fuck her and when I want to fuck her. Remember, chastity and denial IS NOT abstinence. It’s not the opposite of sex. It is a way to enhance a sexual relationship.

MsDana said…

You might wanna ask someone who knows Japanese if that sign has all the right connotations of ‘deny’. It might not mean what the literal translation says it means.

And Tim added…

One of my new patient’s came to me recently and he has a tattoo that went on in the 1970s when he was at college. It says “Keep on Truckin” He told me that he thought he knew then what he meant but he is certain that he is not really certain now what it means. He is not the first patient to confide in me with lament about a tattoo

I am persuaded that everyone should have the freedom to choose what they want to do with their bodies. As you look/consider images, I would suggest that you look to something that has an affirming meaning… Such as the kanji for Commitment and Locked, or Service and Purpose. Just some ideas.

And Michael concluded…

The commenters suggestion to fully explore the symbols meaning is a good one. You don’t want the wrong connotation. That being said, I don’t think Japanese is either of you or Belle’s first language so you are probably ok if the intended meaning is within the greater lexicon of it’s literal meaning.

First off, I consider the message of what I believe to be the meaning of that kanji (which, yes, I will do a bit more research on) to be affirming. In our context, “deny” also means “commitment,” “service,” and “purpose.” Her decision to do it and my accepting the mark (because, let’s be real, if I really didn’t want a tattoo I wouldn’t get one) are all wrapped up in super sexy, hot, and ultimately loving sentiment. She’s not permanently denying me as a punishment. Quite the opposite. I think we both consider it a further deepening of our commitment to one another and our relationship.

Regarding potential tattoo regret, you need to know how I feel about tattoos in general. To me, they are markers of significant moments or influences in your life. They should have meaning, even after the moment or influence has past. They can serve as a reminder of where you’re from or where you’ve been or even as an indication of where you want to go. In short, even if at some point in our lives we find ourselves not in this dynamic (unlikely but who knows), we will still have been there at one time. It will still stand for an important point on the map of my life. I won’t regret it. Hopefully, I’ll always cherish what it meant to us.

To me, this tattoo will be a permanent symbol of our mutual dedication, commitment, and love.

18 Replies to “Symbolism”

  1. “To me, this tattoo will be a permanent symbol of our mutual dedication, commitment, and love.”

    That is exactly how cagedmonkey and I feel about our tattoos. Yes we have ones that are a lock and key but we also have others that mean something regarding our marriage and commitment to it.

    I wouldn’t expect a decision to get a tattoo is some whim you just came up with. I’m assuming your choice to accept it has been well thought out.


  2. Love the sentiment, you can wear it like a tree wears the different coloured lines to reflect what happened to it over the years.

    It one day may not be part of your external make up, but will always form part of what you are.

  3. I wasn’t really serious about real castration though the idea of reversible chemical castration may be an option for long term denial. I love edge play and love the denial. I also know that keeping this up for long periods of time is a lot of work and tiring for my wife. If you fully submit to her and she isn’t interested in teasing you endlessly, then taking away my urges may be a good thing. When I’m locked up it’s usually for a given amount of time. We have a dice app on my ipad that gives you many options that could keep me locked up for years. The idea is that I will be let out at some point and at least have an opportunity to orgasm. So this play is part of my kink that my wife will sometimes indulge me in. To really give her complete control, would you not give up your libido as well? So do you really accept the “never orgasm again” thing, or is it just part of the game? When I’m locked up I become very submissive and kinky. I tend to give my wife much more attention and she often needs her space and doesn’t want it. If I were to be locked up for 60 days or so, I think we both would like to calm things down a bit.

  4. If neither of your speak Japanese or have any Japanese (or similar cultures) heritage, why did you choose a Japanese character, as opposed to an English word?

    1. Because it’s a symbol. A word is very literal and means, usually, one thing. But a symbol can represent more. Plus it looks cooler than a word.

      1. Sorry, it looks like the Chinese word for “no”, to me. I guess people will always fetishise the exotic to an extent.

  5. It’s only “an interesting shape” because you don’t actually speak the language (or any other language from the same linguistic family). I remember seeing t-shirts for sale in Hong Kong that had random English words printed on them, which made no sense whatsoever – they had simply been chosen because they looked nice to the designer.

    At the end of the day, the appropriation of elements of South-East Asian cultures for superficial use in kink environments is fairly common, so I guess I shouldn’t be so surprised.

    I just wanted to put forth another point of view. Obviously you can tattoo whatever you want on your own body.

  6. Castration is a complex desire….and you obviously are not going that way…the denial is part of the power. As for the tattoo….well, I think it is a great idea.

    1. Quite complex. I’ve always wondered if the desire to be castrated was driven by the very things they want removed. And then how happy are they afterward? Subject for another blog, I guess.

  7. Hi Thumper,

    I recently started following your blog. It is really a source of inspiration.
    Just to let you know I find the idea of a tatoo very hot.

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