I’m too annoyed to even come up with a title

The recent series of posts has elicited some less than inspiring comments. At the prospect of Drew…

I just want to say that I am less than excited about your romps with another man than I am about your interaction with your wife.

After hearing that I had been with him…

Well hopefully for her sake you used protection or will be tested for hiv.

And after I posted his POV of our first encounter…

Is this going to become a gay blog now?

The overwhelming majority of comments have been positive and supportive and, for that, I am grateful. Thing is, since this is a blog about kinky sex and other perverted diversions, I would have only expected comments that suggested my readers were open-minded when it comes to sex of all kinds. Apparently not.

With regard to what kind of blog this is, it will remain what it has always been: A journal of the sex and relationships I am part of. I don’t make this shit up. It’s not a “choose your own adventure” novel. And, to be honest, it’s not like my interest in having sex with another man is something I’ve never mentioned before. It’s interesting to me that all of my several posts about me playing with my own ass were passed over without criticism but when another human of my own gender does it, the peanut gallery starts chirping (and all I did was say it happened, I didn’t even talk about it in my typical level of gory detail).

And seriously, who the fuck thinks it’s OK to pipe up with their narrow-minded and frankly ignorant opinion on a blog about a real person doing real things in real life? Do you confuse me with a source of entertainment for you? Do you suppose for a single goddamned minute I give a shit if what I say offends or fails to give you a chubby?

I have spent too much of my life worrying about how others would judge me because of who I am and how I feel and what makes me happy. I still struggle with that today. If you find anything I discuss here (you know, the real and factual details of another human’s search for satisfaction and happiness) offensive, get the hell out. Just go the fuck away. Are you doing me a favor by reading my words? Do you think so much of yourself that you think your comments criticizing my relating what happens to me should, in any way, change how I live or what I write on my fucking blog? Get over yourself.

For the record, OF COURSE we had safe sex. I’m not a 16-year-old. For the record, I don’t give a shit if you don’t want to hear about me having sex with other men in between loving my wife. And finally, if you don’t approve of the direction my blog is going (which is also the direction my life is going, not incidentally), let Google be your friend and find yourself some other source of masturbatory inspiration.

Three comments is not a lot, I know. But I assume that they may represent the views of a chunk of people who come here on a regular basis to absorb the peeks I give into my private life. If that’s you, then I respectfully ask you never come back and delete your bookmark to my site. Life is too short for us to interact.

23 Replies to “I’m too annoyed to even come up with a title”

  1. Well Said Thumps. I am 100% with you on this. I find you inciteful and inspiring. Anyone who feels they can judge you is just a dick. Keep it real. Sending big fat hugs to a man i admire greatly.

  2. Last time I checked we are still in the good ole USA and free. I believe you
    have the right to live your life the way you desire. Ignore any and all negative comments. Answer to yourself and Belle. Period.
    Enjoy life.

  3. I think the point is, if you don’t like a blog, don’t read it and don’t subscribe to it. Whatever people do that is safe, legal and above all consensual is up to them.

  4. Amen, I’m totally with you. I also have seen that people with alternative lifestyles, such as swingers. Gay bar visitors etc. are very openminded, as long as the stuff going on fits their own preferences.

    As soon as you dare to even look beyond their personally boundaries, they might be twice as judgmental as the people who are in to vanilla sex only and are called narrow minded by your so called open minded readers.

    And this is Holland I’m talking about, often thought of as (one of) the most open minded countries in the world.

  5. All these nice responses. I am going to be a little more blunt, as I tend to be, and say that we all SHOULD be grown ass adults and should have learned as little children that if you can’t say something nice, the don’t say anything at all. Just SHUT THE FUCK UP!! As a Thumper follower, I may not always agree with or understand his point of view in his blogs, but they are his and I respect him for them. I do not fill HIS blog comment feed with my personal judgments of HIS life!! The one thing I can say I have in common with Thumper without even having met him is that I also don’t want to read other’s judgmental comments – shut up or create your own blog. This is a grown up blog, if you can’t play nice go back to your own sandbox.

  6. I think it’s time I comment for the first time after reading silently for YEARS. I’m a straight woman who skews dominant, but who didn’t really understand that yet when I met (at 22) and fell for and married a fantastic guy who doesn’t have a submissive bone in his body. Especially not that one. Yes, many of your posts are hot as hell. And I’m sure people come here just for that. But the thing that makes this blog shine and that has kept me reading is following your journey in terms of the psychology of submission. Your journey has been enlightening and fun and emotional and has given me a window into a world that fascinates me. These adventures with Drew are a new and exciting facet of that. I honestly don’t care which tab is going into which slot. I care about the exploration of need and desire and fulfillment. I know you don’t in any way need me saying this to go on with your blog just as you like it to be, but I wanted to say it anyhow! And thank you for opening yourself so that people like me can understand just that little bit better.

  7. I really enjoy this blog and I have a bi boyfriend, so the fact that you’ve explored that side of you is really interesting to me. But as you said, it’s your blog.

  8. Thumper,

    Times like these are a great reminder of why your complete openness is so special. Don’t worry about the naysayers!

  9. I totally agree, what I like about your blog is your sincerity, I love reading about real people, and your journey is fascinating in all aspects. I’m a gay man, and I love reading about your relationship with Belle. Don’t lose even a moment thinking about those stupid comments, and be sure there are many more that appreciate your courage to be so open.

  10. Just leaving a comment for support because some people are fucktards. Seriously.

    When I went through my last really heartbreaking breakup, I spent some time just posting songs on my blog: I called it the ‘breakup project’. I was trying to distract myself by finding and posting music that helped me process.

    Someone who I had never interacted with before left a comment to say that it was shit and I was going to lose all my followers if I didn’t stop it (the fact that I still remember this says something about how incredulous I was about their sense of entitlement about me providing them with their particular flavour of entertainment and their total lack of empathy for me as a human being).

    Unsurprisingly, I invited them to fuck the hell off.

    It’s not the same thing as you are experiencing here, but I still remember how it made me feel and it wasn’t pretty, so I just wanted to say ‘fuck them and the computers they rode in on!’


  11. Thumper, in response to your blog, I can only say “Hallelujah, preach it, my brother!” I won’t bore you with any superfluous personal details, but I will tell you that I love reading this blog mainly because of the way I respond mentally, physically, & emotionally to what you write & how you write it. As I listen to you, I learn more about myself, even though we are not exactly the same. It’s a good thing…don’t ever stop, please.

  12. AYHSMB is the politest repsonse I could think of. They don’t deserve that rare level of quality and raw candour being laid out for the.

    It will never cease to amaze me how heteronormative some kinksters can be.


      1. Hey, it fits, and its a little bit gay* for bonus points.

        *broadly assuming the numb nutted correspondents being offered that savory treat were probably blokes.

  13. I stop in and read here and there and rarely have submitted a comment. I have found your reviews of devices very helpful and it guided me to getting the right size for my Steelheart after one failure in sizing. As a gay man, i obviously have no problem with you hooking up with a guy and having that fun but in turn, i also have no problem with your explicit writings about your wife. I find it insightful into the mindset of control, keeping her sexual needs fulfilled and the spate of emotions that swirl around after being allowed release. All things i grapple with myself with my boyfriend. I haven’t read the post yet where you mention the guy but regardless of the level of detail you did or did not go into, you’ve written about the desire in the past, your own self exploration of anal play (and your wife’s general disinterest in that) so it doesn’t surprise me that you finally found someone to fulfill that. Yes some of your writing i read for entertainment beyond the informative writings, but i read because i enjoy it and appreciate.the level of depth that you write about since gay, bi or straight, there’s a lot more common ground in these kinks than some reactionary twatbags want to admit. So, bravo to you in enjoying your life and thank you for continuing to share.

  14. It’s not like you didn’t ease into it (no pun intended), your interest in other men has long been simmering in the background. I find it somewhat amazing that someone could be open-minded enough to find chastity interesting and ‘not weird’ (especially the kind of chastity where you lock a hunk of metal around your cock for long periods of time) but gets their knickers in a twist over a bit of gay sex.
    Mind you even in ‘normal’ life people can shock you with their attitudes, once a (very straight) friend was telling me how he almost ended up having a threesome with two women and I happened to say that I thought a threesome would work better with two guys and one woman (I joked that it would be ‘less work’), he was appalled at the idea that his cock might brush against another man’s during d/p or something… it was kind of funny to me, just his level of prudishness.
    Lecturing you on safe sex and HIV is totally out of order though, what an absolute arse.

  15. An other Dutch guy

    Hi Thumper,
    Congratulations, your adventures in life goes on, wide minded in stead of narrow minded, open to explore. Really appreciate you give people the chance to follow your journey. Findings ways to integrate the diversity in sexual drives in all day live is often a challenge. I live with my husband for 30 years now, both having divers interests aside all we have in common. And we did found our ways to live our lifes. We have established a kind of ‘man lead relation’ , he is not interested in being Dominant, but in our sexual life he is in charge! Beside our relationship we both have encounters with others. Like you, Belle and Drew. And… we are all open about it. When one of us had a date, we always talk, telling how it was while enjoying a glass of wine. We feel happy to share and are proud of what we established. Hope you, Belle and Drew feel proud too and will go on exploring.

    A proud, but submissive, Dutch male,

  16. I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with that kind of homophobic ignorance. As someone who’s bisexual and married it warms my heart to see someone able to get their desires met with such open and supportive partners.

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