Belle doesn’t have than many rules for me, if you think about it.
- I can only come when she tells me to and if she tells me to I have to.
- I must to wear a chastity device whenever she says.
- I must never play with the penis without permission.
- If I have sex with someone else, I have to be locked up.
That’s about it, really. Everything I do and how I act flows from those. But today I asked that there be a new rule.
- I’m not allowed to tell her how I feel about coming (whether I want it or not) while we’re having sex unless she asks me.
This is a follow on from my previous post on talking about it while fucking her. As I said then, there’s no reason for me to say anything about it (really ever, but especially when the penis is inside her) other than for the part of my reptile brain that’s never accepted her control over my orgasm to try and manipulate her. I’ve been telling myself this new rule was a rule I was imposing on myself all week but this morning, in the passion of feeling her pussy and hearing her moan, I realized that a rule I never say to anyone is a rule I can’t be held accountable for.
On the surface, and when compared to the others, this new rule may seem like a little thing but I think it’s really huge. If I say what I want with regard to coming (either for or against), especially in the heat of the moment, then how committed am I to rule number one? You’d think, what with me being the big shot chastity blogger and all, that I wouldn’t need this rule, but in reality I’m always playing an angle with her. I guess that’s human nature, but when I can play an angle that means I have some modicum of flexibility and leverage and, truly, when it comes to my orgasm I don’t want any. I say that in the face of never letting go of that tenuous little thread.
The reptile part of my brain thinks she’ll always assume I want to come. That it will be obvious by my actions and how turned on I am and that I’ll be able to communicate my desire physically. The higher part of my brain (the bunny) clutches it’s little furry paws in hope that she doesn’t really think about it. That it doesn’t really matter.
So I asked this be a new rule this morning after I got her off. I was still locked up because she said she’s thankful for my chastity and this is Thanksgiving, after all. And I’m thankful for it, too. And her. Especially her. Once I proposed it and she quickly acceded to it, I could actually feel the control she has over that aspect of me ratchet down. That tiny wiggle space closed tight. The tenuous thread was cut. And it left me feeling warm and loved.
2 thoughts on “New rule”
Happy Thanksgiving, Thumper!
The post that preceded this one really struck me, honestly. The past few nights I’ve been lying in bed thinking about it and dreaming about it and waking up to it. Every time I’ve been alone, it’s been on my mind. I feel like I’ve been right there with you thinking about it.
So seeing you find a resolution is totally awesome! I understand how hard it must be for your reptile brain to try to control things that you just don’t want it to think about, that you don’t want anything to do with, and there’s this one part of you just nagging, clawing, and screaming “Instincts!” at you incessantly. Those types of thoughts lead to awful emotions, so I’m just so happy with what you’ve come up with. =)
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