Today is the 14th anniversary of the first time a chastity device was locked onto me (which means we’re also a little over a week past the fourteenth anniversary of the start of this blog).
It’s hard for me to really get my head back into the space I was in when I first felt what it was like walking around among muggles with a device in my pants, let alone what it felt like having my erection contained and constrained for the first time. But I do recall the first time Belle denied me an orgasm after she got one. It was such a rush. I felt high the whole next day. But being denied has changed so much over the years. From it making me annoying and selfish to…whatever I am now. I don’t think I’m nearly as much of either. I feel like my — ahem — head is in a better place.
I’ve said before, being kept in chastity no longer feels like a thing I do or is being done to me. It just is. It’s how I am. It only becomes a thing when I can’t be kept locked. If I have to come out for some stupid reason like travel or a doctor’s visit or one of those times the contents need to heal from something a device did to it. I was just off camping in the wilderness for a week and was in the BA-31P the whole time. Mostly because not being in it would feel weird and wrong and distracting. As if being so would be inauthentic and unnatural. Basically, “weird and distracting” went from being how it felt to be locked up to how it feels not to be. Also, Belle’s rules say I have to be locked up all the time and I have proven there’s no practical reason I can’t be even deep in the woods for a week.
Seeing the contents outside of a device has become off-putting. It looks pale and exposed. I don’t want Belle or anyone else to see me that way. It’s embarrassing. Somehow, it feels more naked than naked is. Like some inner part of me is exposed. I guess that’s what the contents literally are now. An inner part.
The milestone of being kept for 14 years has me wondering how much of that time was spent locked up. Of course, locked men tend to obsess over duration. Kinky people in general seem to over index as stats and metric obsessed folk. I don’t count the days like I used to (even between orgasms which happen so infrequently I can’t even remember them), but I still track what I’m locked in and for how long. I began using an app to track which device I was locked into back in January 2016 (actually December of 2015, but only for like two days), so a bit more than half way between the first day and today. I don’t have data for the first seven years or so. But here’s the breakdown of each year since then.
|Hours Locked||Hours Unlocked|
|2016||6,800 (77%)||1,984 (23%)|
|2017||8,579 (98%)||181 (2%)|
|2018||7,194 (82%)||1,566 (18%)|
|2019||6,661 (76%)||2,099 (24%)|
|2020||8,371 (95%)||413 (5%)|
|2021||8,535 (97%)||225 (3%)|
|2022 (YTD)||6,966 (99%)||90 (1%)|
|Total||46,856 (88%)||6,558 (12%)|
Two things jump out. One, 2016, 2018, and 2019 had a lot of unlocked time, relatively speaking, while the other years tracked were more in line with one another. Two, the trend for the past three years is curving towards zero. This is due to Belle wanting the contents out far less often than she used to and me being better at finding ways to avoid being out when in the past I might have thought I had to be. But, the question was how long have I been locked up over the past 14 years? I think the previous 7 would be more like 16′, 17′ and 19′, so let’s just say the average for all of them is 75-80% locked.
That’s something between 92,000 and 98,000 hours. Which means in this, my fifteenth year of enforced chastity, chances are I’ll cross the 100,000 hour mark. That’s more than eleven years.
Of course, this is meaningless. I am locked. By default and whenever I don’t have to come out due to circumstance or Belle’s (increasingly infrequent) demand. As far as I’m concerned, the number is basically ∞.
But since we’re at this moment of recognition and reflection, I can say I never want to be any other way than kept in chastity. The changes that have come over me for being so are indelible. Sure, I could not be locked up and be touching myself sexually and having regular orgasms like a real boy at some point in the future. Theoretically. But it would never feel right. It would never be right. I would always know that being that way wasn’t my authentic self.
I’ve been locked in chastity for fourteen years today. Hopefully, I will never not be ever again.
4 thoughts on “Fourteen”
Of course, locked men tend to obsess over duration.
And milestones. I’ve said elsewhere that if you want to really freak out a chastity enthusiast, lock him up on January 1st, and then unlock him on December 29th.
I don’t bother tracking days anymore, but I did estimate that around our next anniversary, I will have crossed the mark to have spent more than half my marriage locked up.
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You’re the inspirational model, Tom!
Congrats on the milestone! …and 99% of the time 🔐 for 2022? That is incredible and an inspiration for myself and K. Keep it up(?) Ha! …and keep the posts coming. You write about the journey of chastity so we’ll. Thank you!
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Am in a similar situation. We have explored various cages until we have found a style that works. Am smaller than you therefore it is smaller.
It becomes the silence. Not knowing what is in her head? Does she really want what she has said she does?
If so why is she silent on enjoying it? The use of teasing, …physically of with words?\
It seems if I bring it up she ‘likes
it but in what way?
How am I to know what is happening what sh really desires or just going along because she thinks I want it, which in many ways I do,,,but because she has mentioned a cage and being confined but then going weeks without feedback?
Are we doing this because t is what she wants or because she thinks it is what I want?….yes, re[seated myself deliberately.
She claims no interest in others for satisfaction, ale ot female……see what is the point”
The silence can kill