Over on the Hellsite, I posted this image with the caption “Fuuuucking horny this morning.” Because I was and I’m a nasty exhibitionist.
Normally, I’d just embed the tweet in my post but the idiot fuckwad that owns the Hellsite now (and thinks there’s a chance in hell people are going to start calling it a letter of the alphabet) keeps breaking it in ways that have included in the past making embedded tweets — which are, like, everywhere on the internet — just stop working so I’m not going to do that anymore. I’m barely able to bring myself to link to them since it’s possible/likely that’ll stop working any day now, too. Note, I also posted it to Mastodon if that’s more your thing.
Aaaaaanyway…
This tweet elicited a question from a follower named Jack.
“Wondering, if milking would be a way to solve this?”
Which is cute because his assumption is me being super horny is a problem needing solving rather than the whole point of the exercise. Like, it’s a feature not a bug, Jack.
I replied, “Milking can help but can also leave me even more horny than I was.” Which is true. Milking can lead to a bit of relief but it’s not the same as orgasm and, since I’m not a good milker generally, can lead me to feeling way more frustrated after the fact than before.
Jack replied, “Just zero orgasms…seems overwhelming to me.” That’s totally fair. Not every guy who’s into enforced denial is into it in the same way. And, I think, age plays a large part. I used to jack off most days 20 years ago. Sometimes twice in a day. I do wonder how I’d adapt to permanent enforced denial if I was, say, thirty-five rather than fifty-five.
His reply caused another follower named Devin’s Latex Gimp to chime in.
“Yeah. In session is one thing, but other than that, I’ve been pretty clear it’s not something I could commit to. Couldn’t follow through with it, even if locked.”
Jack answered back, “I mean, I have done a few weeks. But without orgasm, I go bananas and get too focused kink/sex/release. But I like to wear it and find alternative ways to come. Admittedly, I really enjoy anal play now…a lot.”
When I said the other day, “I think about those guys who are locked up for a week or two or a month at time and who then get out and aren’t expected or told to rush back in. I wonder how many of them will keep living that way. And also how many will eventually end up like me,” I was talking about guys like Jack and not, apparently, DLG. If you’re setting as a limit being locked for longer than a single play session, it seems unlikely you’d end up permanently denied. But Jack’s predicament sounds very familiar to me. I was like that for years while being locked up. Getting to where I am now was a long road.
I’m not saying Jack will end up permanently denied. I don’t know him aside from his cute profile pic and our limited interactions on the Hellsite, but I find his situation illustrative of what I wrote about.
But getting back to me for a second, I have previously worried that knowing I wasn’t getting out and wasn’t going to be allowed to come ever again would somehow change how I thought about enforced denial. It hasn’t. I think I’m still kind of getting used to the idea that I’m just done with penile pleasure, orgasm, etc. The idea (and typing those words) make me very tight so it still works for me, obvs, but it’s also hard for me to really believe this is where we are. That that’s it with shooting loads. I have no idea how or why I’ll ever feel that again. And that’s something.
I do love that it came from her. That it wasn’t a decision based on a conversation or whatever. We didn’t decide. She did. And she didn’t tell me that that was my fate. I had to figure it out for myself. As a sub, feeling the heavy hand of my Domme’s will in that way is satisfyingly profound.
Anyway, I don’t know what else to say to Jack or the Gimp. I guess all I can do is keep sharing my experiences and thoughts as I have been and people can see themselves or not in what I say.
I find your posts about your experiences so interesting to read about. My service to my Mistress does not include denial with devices. Sometimes she tells me to edge for days…it gets very intense and when she chooses to allow me to release, something she calls “squirting” from my “cltty” she takes special pleasure in that. She loves watching me squirt especially when she is fingering my “boipussy”.
Its pretty fun exploring sexuality with her…she has hinted that she might start using chastity to keep me from touching myself on a daily basis…we shall see.
One of the things I noticed early on in my experienced of being locked is that there are basically two piles of people. There are the folks for whom the enforced denial or orgasm control is a temporary thing that everyone involved knows will at some point lead to getting out, wanking, fucking etc.
The others start to experience something else or get into locking for other reasons. Those are the folks who eventually become locked for long durations or eventually start flirting with or become people locked up for very long periods of time or effectively permanently being locked. They may orgasm and/or ejaculate under some conditions. The two are not the same and you don’t actually need to penetrate or stimulate the penis to achieve either. The short-timers often have a hard time understanding the long-timers.
Milking doesn’t do anything to relieve the horniness, especially if it is done properly, that is with the express purpose of stimulating the prostate gland without triggering an ejaculation (releasing fluid without pulsations). First time I read about this I was intrigued. First time it happened my mind was blown because I felt even more desperately horny than before.
As for age, that might be part of it but frankly, while I am somewhat older than you, I still feel the horniness constantly. You do as well, which, as you said is part of the whole purpose for you. You just channel the energy differently.
And damn but Belle really understands how your head works.