Mailbag

I have been a very bad chastity blogger. Very, very bad. I deserve to be punished. Severely. So…uh…wanna?

OK, maybe later. In truth, I have yet again totally ignored my DT email address and a whole lot of feedback has piled up and I truly do feel guilty about not replying. So, without further ado, here we go…

B asked:

I’m considering purchasing a Looker 3 but can not find any reviews, opinions, or even pictures of it being worn.  Have you ever tried a PA lock of the style before?  I’m curious if it pinches or gets in the way to the point where it is uncomfortable or irritating.

No, I’ve not read or seen anything on the ‘net regarding experiences with that device. My concerns are the same as yours, though. I’d be afraid of getting pinched between the shackle and the lip of the cup at the end of the cage. It looks hot, though. When I first noticed its availability, I wrote a post about it. More thoughts over there.

Pup Colt queried:

Hi! I am looking at getting a Looker2 as my first steel device and was wondering would you suggest ordering it the way it comes? or would you suggest ordering it without the bulb on the end of the insert?

I like the bulb myself. I suspect it makes the end of the insert less likely to irritate the urethra, though that’s just a guess. Subjectively, I just like how it looks and the feel of the little bulge deep down in there. The only thing I’d change if I were ordering the Looker 02 again today (except to maybe make the cage a smidge shorter) would be to increase the circumference of the insert. I’d personally like something about 50% bigger around since I think that’d make leakage around it less likely and would allow urine to drain out of me faster. Sometimes, when I really have to go, I find the narrow tube slows things down.

K wrote a big one:

I’ve been following your blog on and off for a few years now.  There is so much great info in it. I find myself returning every few months to catch up and re-reading a lot of the valuable info.  Thank you for taking the time and energy to teach us Want-To-Be-Thumpers!

That’s cute. I imagine a bunch of baby bunnies hopping around.

I’ve enjoyed chastity on and off for many years now.  I’ve worn only one device, a CB6000.  I’m sick of it. I’m long overdue for an upgrade to a custom steel unit. I’m ready to jump off the bridge and order a Steelheart 2 from Steelworxx, but I’m terrified about getting the sizing right.  I’m hoping you might help me with some advice on sizing as well as a few other random questions from your experience.

I’ve worn the CB6000 on and off for years now and feel pretty confident that I’ve found the right setup for me in the CB6000.  But now I’m scratching my head for how to translate the CB6000 setup to a new Steelheart.  You obviously had a learning curve with your first Steelheart so I’m hoping your experiences can help me make smart decisions.  When I try and translate my current setup to Steelworxx’s offerings, I get this:

He shares a lot of measurement info…

Now that I’ve shared all that data, I’m sure you’re not interested in studying my personal measurements [don’t bet on it — T] so suffice it to say the Steelheart measurements seem to be at the large end of his range.  I’m pretty average in size, certainly no monster.  Since you found your first Steelheart to be too big, I’m thinking that there are some tricks to translating these measurements.  Here are some specific questions I’d greatly appreciate your help with:

1.      You have said that the same size A Ring in plastic and steel did not work.  How much smaller is your Steelheart A Ring compared to your CB6000 size?  I figure I’m between 48.6mm (CB6000) and 44.5mm (my regular cockring size).

As I recall, I was in the 45mm CB6K ring and ordered that in steel. WAY too big. I eventually settled into 40mm in the Steelheart but find the 42mm anatomical ring of the Looker 02 to be a much better fit. Remember that the size you wear in a cock ring will be much too big for a chastity device. Cock rings assume a big old erection on the other side while a device will keep that mostly in check. The less room your erection has to grow, the less room you need in the ring.

2.      How should I determine spacing between the Tube and A ring?  It appears the Steelheart tube is angled away from the A Ring on the underside so I’m not sure how to figure these two distances.  The website doesn’t offer customization for these distances so maybe this is moot.  But the Steelheart appears to have less space at the top and more at the bottom.  Doesn’t more space at the bottom mean more space to pull the balls out?  If this is a set parameter on the Steelheart, then do you add or subtract to the length of the tube to make up for this difference in measurement?  Keeping in mind that on paper I’m almost maxed out on Steelheart length.  I can’t wrap my head around this.

Sure, a bigger gap in the bottom means your balls could have more room to escape, but if you look at the Steelheart I wear now, you’ll see the gap is far too small for any testicles to get out (I assume). This gap is a function of the A-ring size and is another reason why getting that right is important. If I had to choose, I’d err on a slightly smaller ring than larger. But that’s me.

Regarding the spacing between the tube and ring, that’s a measurement I’ve never changed. In the three devices I have from Dietmar, I always went with the default.

3.      The optional curved “anatomical A Ring” seems interesting to me for comfort.  Have you tried this one?  Any insight?  It seems like if the bottom of the ring curves back against the abdomen, the space between the bottom of the Ring and the bottom of the Tube gets even bigger, which sounds bad for security.

Yep, the Looker 02 has that and I love it. If the ring isn’t too big, I doubt you’ll have security issues.

4.      I’ve got a 4 gauge PA and working up to a 0ga eventually.  I’m going to ask Steelworxx to modify the Steelheart with a PA slot on the tube so I can wear my jewelry through the tube to secure myself.  But I’d also like to order a PA fixing so I have the option of securing inside like you.

I also wear a 4ga ring, but not with the Steelheart. I found it took too much space inside the tube and caused pinching. I wear a 10ga ring when locked up. It’s just as secure and is a lot smaller overall. If you’re going to build a slot in, my issues may not apply.

a.      Sounds like your experience is that you cannot fit anything larger than 8 gauge jewelry inside.  True?

Nope, I can get he 4ga in there, it’s just not as comfy. I bet I could get even larger jewelry in there, but the heavier the ring the more noise will be made as it hits the inside of the tube.

b.      How much added length and diameter should I add to the Tube to accommodate the PA fixing and jewelry, to achieve your setup?

I’ve been asked this before and I wish I had a good answer. I’d say at least another 1/4″. If you’re going to use bigger rings, maybe more.

c.      Really no issues with pinching inside with PA fixing?

Not with the smaller PA ring, no. Occasional. Not serious.

5.      Finally, I also want to order a urethral insert for some added fun from time to time.  (I realize I probably have to remove the PA for that).

a.      Do you use the insert with your Steelheart or only on your Looker?

b.      Any thoughts on how long the insert should be?  It appears to be longer on the Looker (extends past the A Ring) then the add-on option in Steelworxx’s offerings.  Is this purely personal choice or are there any security benefits?

c.      Does your insert have a bulb on the end?  If yes, do you like it?  Does it help with leakage?

d.      Does the insert have a cap to screw on the end or is it always open at the end and prone to leaking?

A) Only on the Looker 02. B) Dietmar’s default on the L02 worked well for me. It could be a bit longer and still work. I’d be careful going too long. C) See question above. I do like the bulb. It may help with leakage. D) The insert on the L02 I wear is integrated. No screw (literally).

I’m very sorry this came out so long.  Hopefully you didn’t get bored after the first paragraph because your insights would help me feel much more comfortable before throwing down hundreds of dollars.  Thank you very much for sharing your experiences with all of us and being such a fantastic source of info.

And now I feel especially guilty for not answering your questions in a timely manner.

Alex asked:

I was reading some of your blogs on the MM Jailbird cage and had a couple of questions in regards to the sizing. Just hoping you could help out if you’re not too busy.

GUILT

I noticed you’ve used the single round ring, double round ring, and oval ring. I’m torn between the double ring and oval ring. I’ve never had an issue wearing a round ring with previous devices (CB6000s, Jailhouse), other than some mild chaffing. Which is most likely because the rings weren’t a custom fit. So I’m not too worried about that happening once I get the correct measurement. I’d like to know if you have any feedback in regards to which ring you’d recommend and/or prefer.

Also, if I end up going with the double base ring I thought I read somewhere that it adds an extra 1/4″ to the length. I plan on getting a proper length measurement and subtracting 1/4″ (MM recommendation). Should I take an additional 1/4″ off again to compensate for the double ring?

I have a double oval ring on the Jail Bird and recommend it. The oval shape leaves room for tender bits and the double width means less “cutting” by the ring (their default width is too narrow, IMO). The double ring does indeed add a bit of length (you probably read that here) so do cut that back from the overall length you order.

Chris kringled:

I have a CB6000 and am planning to buy a MM JB. One question I have is about the base ring. Can you leave it on, while removing the cage, and then have sex? I’m a bit worried that blood will not flow back if the ring is kept in place. The idea just seems interesting: quickly remove the cage and don’t bother about the base ring. Have sex (but probably no cumming) and then put the cage back on. Do you have any experience with this?

Yep, I’ve done exactly that. The JB ring is about 3mm smaller than my normal cock ring size so the extra constriction isn’t really an issue. You have to remember to rotate the ring upside down so the post doesn’t poke your keyholder (then it sits under your balls but I didn’t have a problem with that).

M said:

Hey,  I have read your blog for about three weeks now.  First of all, you are very articulate and I can tell that you obey your wife and want to be obedient to her.  You are doing a great job and it shows.  My Master who I signed a contract back on May 3, 2014; requires that I not have an orgasm.  This is very hard to accomplish.  I have not been faithful to Master and had four since the order was issued.  The most recent was after going two months with an orgasm.  I have been instructed to finger my boi pussy any time, I need to obtain pleasure or get horny.  Master doesn’t want to put a cage on me, because I am married and have kids.  The longer I go without having an orgasm the more difficult, it is with me not cumming.  I will make this work.  We are back to the beginning and will work hard to obey my order.  I have also been ordered not to play with my dick or get it hard.

Extended, unsupervised denial without a device is incredibly hard for me. It’s hard even to obey her rule about not playing with it. I don’t really know what to say that can help you except I totally feel your pain. It’s all about willpower and the one place most men experience the least amount of that is between their hand and their dick, especially when they’re horny.

My advice would be for your Master to let you play with yourself on occasion for a specific period of time (say, five minutes) as long as you promise not to come. That might help a bit. At least then you’d have some outlet for your built-up desires. Alternatively, you could have an extended heart-to-heart with your wife and tell her what you’re doing, etc. It would be a lot more enjoyable, I bet.

An anonymous reader wrote:

First of let me say how useful your blog has been about male chastity. My wife and I are new to this world and we for one are glad about this blog existing – there are many aspects to this experience and you express them well, both the fun times and the not-so-fun times (like the “No then Yes” post). Good job!

Thanks!

I came across your site first thanks to the ever useful “tips and tricks for the cb6000” page. That page helped a lot for the initial introduction to wearing a cb6000. In fact, I think that page ultimately convinced the wife to go ahead with the purchase of the device.

But as I mentioned, we are very new to this. In fact, I think we have only had the device for a month now. And here is where I turn to your advice once more. I am able to wear the cb6000 throughout the day with no problem. In fact, it is so comfortable that I sometimes don’t even realize I am wearing it. We are able to go out, ride bikes, do groceries etc all without incident. This is of course fantastic as I did not expect it to be so easy. But the real issue comes in at night when I try to sleep with the device. I have tried this 4-5 times and it’s a real pain. Like literally a pain in the sack (pun?). This happens almost immediately once I start to lie horizontally, either on my back or on the side.

I know you have written about this in the tips and tricks page – I have tried those suggestions but still with little success. Here are some details: I am currently on the second smallest spacer but still the largest ring. Most of the pain I feel is at the base of the ring (the A ring?) kind of like a burning sensation. Initially it is ok but as the night wears on it gets worse and worse. Like I can’t sleep and need to get up and sit somewhere (the pain is much reduced then but it does not go away instantly). I do put silicon based lube on the A-ring and that helps. But perhaps I don’t put enough lube. I don’t think that I get really strong erections at night because I don’t ever feel “full” in the tube. Right now we go 2-4 days without me cumming so it’s not like I have been starved for weeks. I never have the biting pain near the base of the penis where the tube starts. Perhaps most importantly, I sleep in some shorts that are meant for runners. I usually wear pretty tight briefs but started sleeping without them as I thought that was part of the problem. But as you mentioned, now things just flop around and that may be part of the issue. Sleeping naked did not work either; that was a bad idea.

As you can imagine the biggest danger of unauthorized “action” is likely to happen when the wife is fast asleep. So far no incidents, but 2-4 days is easy going. 5 days was tough for me (damn you Barbara Bermudo). But besides for that, I want to be locked up for her with the key around her neck, because that is so hot. And she obviously likes that too.

That’s tough. I can tell you the CB6K ring is a bitch and I recall being in a lot of pain sometimes as well. The more lube, the better, I found. Moving to steel resolved nearly all the kinds of issues you’re describing, though a certain amount of them are unavoidable. An in between measure would be looking into the Holy Trainer. MUCH more comfortable ring, IMO. Also, with time, your scrotum will stretch out. That will lead to fewer ball sack problems.

Some men I’ve heard from and whose accounts I’ve read never figure out how to handle the nocturnal wood in a CB6K. It’s not the end of the world, though I understand where you’re coming from.

I had read recently on a blog that the cb3000 had a larger ring (not shipped initially). If you contacted the company they would send it to you. I wonder if the same is true for the 6000? Apparently 2 mm does matter (hah, another pun?).

I don’t know anything about that. As far as I know, the only rings available for the CB6K are the ones packed in with it.

I am not sure if there is any advice you have but I thought I’d try anyway. It’s much appreciated.

Thanks a lot for this blog and taking the time to write solid material!

GUILT

Vicky wanted to know:

I stumbled across your blog when someone left a review on lovehoney website about the cb6k and said they had recently been reading your blog. Curiosity got the better of me, so I started reading and then I was hooked! I decided the only way to fully understand the situation, was to read from the beginning. I am currently at August 2010 and obviously have a long way to go!

You might cover the following questions/comments in later blogs so I apologise in advance if this is the case!

1. I noticed Belle had answered a few questions in the blog and I was wondering if she has done anymore blogging? I would love to hear more of her views, sort of a he said/she said type of thing.

She hasn’t. Alas. But stay tuned. Developments developing on that front, perhaps.

2. Have you written any more porn? I read the hotel room one, where you described a situation in which you were exposed in front of a window. I really enjoy your style of writing and your way of describing situations, that make the text come to life.

I have, but I haven’t finished any of it or published it. I have more ideas than time and writing it while locked up and denied is unexpectedly difficult. I get too worked up to think straight.

3. Have you got any tips for complete beginners, starting out experimenting with chastity? In my relationship, I think we would both enjoy taking turns being a top and a bottom but are unsure how to take the first steps. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Whew. Big question. For a guy, I’d say get a Holy Trainer and have fun. Take baby steps at first, don’t worry about doing it “right” as long you’re both enjoying it.

4. I just wanted to say I am thoroughly enjoying reading the journey of discovery that both of you are on. I also want to say ( as I have seen you post that a large percentage of people are not bothered by HNTHUMPER) I really enjoy seeing these pictures, please continue to post them 😉 I completely agree with Belle, when she said the steel heart looks better. For something made of metal, I strangely think it looks really natural.

Thanks! Speaking of dirty pictures, I posted this to Tumblr today. Not full-on filth, but close.

Bob enquired:

Would you ever consider broadcasting on Skype or Cam4 and have Q&A conversation about chastity. Not a broadcast showing nudity or body parts… legit chastity Q&A?

You mean like a broadcast to a large audience? I can’t say I have thought of it, but I wouldn’t be opposed, I guess. The main issue would be protecting Belle’s privacy, of course. I wonder if there would be any interest in that kind of thing (he asked unselfconsciously).

That’s all I got for now. Again, apologies to all for the long wait.

Mailbag

Reader Ayshorn asks…

I’ve been reading this today and it chimes like no other. I’m in the same situation as you, but a few years ago. Eight years married, two young kids, spark thoroughly gone. I’ve also got the same background, subby, kinky and have an almost universal craving for sexual contact, be that from a guy or a girl. I also had some times with guys when I was younger (and since)

I’ve never cheated on my wife with another woman, but there have been a lot of guys from piss nights in London to getting wax dripped down my cock in paris I’ve taken the opportunities to walk on the dark side wherever I could.

We’ve moved to a smaller city and I know that if I keep this behaviour up it’s going to come and bite me on the ass (and not in a fun way).

The thing is, I do love and desire my wife and feel that if I could get an outlet this way I wouldn’t be sucking cock in the bushes.

I’m subby/switchy and although wife is a bit of a boss domestically I suspect she wants to be submissive in bed. I’ve found her secret cache of erotic literature about it, so the spark is still there.

And I want to fix this.

Here’s my question. I don’t think she would go in for the chastity thing, as she’s pretty vanilla. But could self imposition (with the key ‘unavailable’ or difficult to get to) during the times when I’m away or at work?

Would get me back on the task of sorting out my sex life, rather than (Exactly as you put it) cumming down the bathroom sink and cruising squirt at lunchtimes.

Any tips from someone a few years further down the path than me?

First thing, communication. You need to talk to her about what you want and get her to disclose what she wants. The chastity/denial thing, by itself, doesn’t solve problems. It’s when it’s combined with old fashioned talking and opening up that you can really gain traction with it.

If I were to be at point zero today and knew I had this kink but also suspected Belle wouldn’t be into it or even that into trying it out, I’d probably start by leaving a device out of it. I’d tell her that I was only going to allow myself to orgasm when I was with her. No more jacking off in the sink. No more sneaking off. In my experience, that kind of sacrifice can be very significant to a woman. Romantic, even.

Assuming that went OK, I’d suggest that she let me not come after sex once just to see what it was like. You know, ease into it. Give her a taste of what orgasm control (rather than denial) had to offer and hope she’d eventually come around to taking the reigns. But she may never. Especially if she’s basically a sub at heart.

In which case, I don’t know what else to offer. You’re a switch, so perhaps you could take the opposite path as us. Maybe she’ll open up to you about that and you can explore her sexuality in a way that still lets you express this part of yours. If she’s like a lot of people, she may be ashamed of her kinks. You need to help her see that everyone has something hiding in their closet and there’s nothing at all wrong with that. Haul out a few of yours to help her get started on hers.

I’d love to know how things work out.

Another reader asked…

Hi Thumper, found your blog a few months ago and thoroughly enjoying exploring it.  I’m considering my first actual device and came across the Chamber on a couple websites, but can’t find more than one or two reviews of it.  Wondering if you’ve heard of it, have an opinion, etc.

Wow, that’s a new one on me. At first glance, it looks like it wouldn’t feel too secure. The cage looks big. Also, there are a lot of little nooks and crannies that might pinch or make hygiene a challenge. Also also, peeing while vertical seems like it would be nigh on impossible.

I dunno, though. Price is pretty good. Anyone else use The Chamber before?

Reader three asks…

May I please ask you about your Steelworxx PA fixing device?

I think the design looks GREAT and I think it would work for me as my jewellery never comes out…

But…

May I please ask you what it feels like when you get hard?

It looks pretty tight and I’m wondering if you feel it rubbing against you?

Or if there is any ‘pinching’ between yo and the inside of your Steelheart as you swell…?

Would it be OK to please ask you for a thorough description of how the PA fixing works for you and the feelings you get when hard…?

With many thanks and the absolute kindest regards

It can pinch if the ring is too big. My piercing allows a 4ga ring but I wear an 8ga ring when locked in order to leave less metal in the tube. Besides being a lot more prone to pinching, the heavier 4ga ring makes noise in the tube whereas the 8ga rarely does. I can remove the 8ga ring with by fingers, but not when it’s attached to the fixing (and, on the off chance I could figure out how to get it off, there’s no way in hell I’d ever get it on again). The secret is leaving a bit of room in the tube for the extra hardware to have a place to go. This includes making the tube just a bit bigger around to accomodate the fixing itself.

How it works is easy to describe, but I’m sure you have read enough to know all that already. How it feels is trickier. And it’s changed over time. At first, being totally locked into a stainless steel trap with no way to escape short of physically cutting into or sawing the steel posts or ripping my own flesh was hot as fuck. I can even still get hard just thinking about being totally and 100% securely locked away. No chance whatsoever for escape. But I’ve also found that level of certainty isn’t as necessary as it once was. I’m totally invested in Belle’s control over the penis and my orgasm and even when wearing the Looker 02 (like now) or the Jail Bird (or the Trainer, for that matter) — all devices I can easily slip out of — I don’t even think about doing so. Security is a state of mind. All I need is a well-fitted device. One that doesn’t practically slip off all by itself (like the original Steelheart did). If I can feel like the device is holding on I can do the rest in my head.

Reader four asks…

I’m very interested in wearing a chastity device but I’ve been looking around and found it quite hard to find devices for us a bit more girthy fellows. I’m about 4,3cm in diameter or 1,7-1,8″. All the CB devices seem a bit too small for me and those are the ones that I find most appealing as well… I looked at the Bon 4 L but the “cage opening” is only 1,38″ so almost half an inch too small for me.

Ordering a custom made Queen’s Keep or Jail Bird isn’t exactly an option since I’m studying at the moment and don’t have the funds for anything really above the 100$ mark. Got any recommendations?

I feel for you. The sweet spot of all mass-produced chastity devices are definitely a one-size-fits-most kind of thing.

Your measurements are when hard, I assume. At that girth, I wouldn’t recommend any of the devices with split tubes (made from two separate parts). I bet you’d break a CB-X device in the first week. Also, I can’t even imagine what that would feel like. Maybe too much of a good thing. Silicone is an interesting option for you because it’s stretchy. You could use the stocking method to squeeze in and I expect the sensation of constriction wouldn’t be too terrible because the material would give. But, if it’s always constricting, you could end up getting edema. Not the end of the world, but not fun. I used to get that from the CB6K all the time.

You could try the Curve, but it’s a lot to carry around in your pants (and is “only” 1.5″ in diameter and might still split). Another cheaper option that would give you a taste of what chastity feels like would be a locking cage or even one of those “gates of hell” devices. Not long-term options, but cheap.

If I were you, I’d save my centavos and get a Steelheart. It’s about $200 at today’s exchange rate (protip: create an account on Steelworxx.de to see the non-VAT prices). I was going to also suggest the Jail Bird, but it’s a lot more expensive right now ($320!). You will be much happier with a well-fitted custom device than you will be if you end up blowing a hundred bucks a couple of times on stuff that doesn’t end up working for you.

The best male chastity device (Or, the post in which I use more than 1,300 words to answer a relatively simple question)

NOTE: This post has been revised and extended. Read it here.

Reader Doc has asked:

It has been decided — no, not by me — that I’m to start wearing a ‘device’. Though you’ve reviewed, compared, and described many, many devices over the time I’ve been following your blog, I would like your evaluation of which is (a) the best, and (b) what is the second best of all available. I know this would be subjective, but I’d rather not ‘reinvent the wheel’. (Oh, it has been agreed that I’m to start after the holidays — on January 1st, 2014.) I suspect others may find your “final” recommendation(s) useful, too… Thanks!

Hmm. I feel not unlike the Sorting Hat…

First things first. I assume you’re cool with being locked up and the “it has been decided, no not by me” thing was just a bit of hotness tossed in to torture the poor unlocked guys who read my blog. If so, well played. If not, are you sure you want to try this? If you don’t and are doing it for your keyholder, any device you get will likely end up living in a drawer far more than your pants.

With that out of the way, allow me to prevaricate a little more.

I like to say the best device is the one between your ears. In that, and touching on my first question to you, if you don’t want to submit to the device in the first place, then you’ll end up wanting to cheat and slip out of it or whatever. Of course, some folks go about this denial thing without devices and that’s fine if it’s what floats their boat, but even those of us with hardware need to have the proper mindset. I’m currently in the Looker 02 and have been for something like going on three weeks. I can pull out of it any time I want because it’s insignificantly more secure than the Jail Bird or the CB6K or any other stock trapped-ball chastity device.

But I don’t pull out. Ever.

I’ve already bought on to the deal with Belle. She decides when I’m locked up and when I’m not and I abide by her wishes on the matter. There are lots of times I wish the device was off me so I could have access to the penis, but I’m well past the point where I’d cheat to get around it because I want far more for her to care that I’m locked up. If I want her to care, I have to care.

So anyway, then there’s the issue of defining what “best” means. There are arguments to be made that cost, comfort, security, hygiene, and stealth are all important factors when considering “best.” Also, keep in mind I’ve only worn seven(!) different devices (CB-6000, silver CB-6000, CB-5000, Birdlocked Neo, Steelworxx Steelheart [two different devices], Steelworxx Looker 02, and the Mature Metal Jail Bird [two different devices]). The only way to know what the best one is is to know how important each of those attributes is to you.

Here’s my take on them (with the silicone device essentially ignored because it sucked so much and the CB-5000 ignored because it’s an odd bird).

COST: We’re fortunate enough that cost is not the driving factor in any decision Belle makes with regard to buying a device. We’re not so fortunate that we don’t have to stop and consider the very high cost of something like a Steelwerks device, but even that is, eventually, something that we could afford if she wanted it. I was just in a conversation with some folks on Twitter about buying knock-off CB6Ks the other day. Doing so saves you some money (sometimes, a lot), but, as I eventually said, you only have the one penis. Why risk it for a few bucks? If you can’t afford a real CB6K, wait until you can. We call that “saving.” But I digress.

Steelworxx versus Mature Metal are about a wash, cost-wise. There’s a perception that MM is cheaper and I’m sure in some cases they can be, but once you start adding on options, they both get to the several hundred dollars pretty quickly (Pro Tip: The prices shown on the Steelworxx site include VAT which those outside Europe do not pay. Create an account with your shipping address and watch those prices magically fall.)

The plastic/silicone devices are far cheaper than the metal. Also, metal devices are all custom so you need to be sure of your measurements if you don’t want to deal with costly and time consuming do-overs.

COMFORT: Complicated. Except for the silicone devices, comfort is all about fit. The Looker 02 and Jail Bird I wear have A-rings 2mm bigger than the Steelheart. The Steelheart wakes me up and is, occasionally, uncomfortable. Like, it can hurt. The other two are cake. I sleep through the night. No issues. That’s 2 lously little millimeters.

You could use something like Mature Metals sizing rings or do what I did and pick up stainless rings from the hardware store, but I’ve found that measuring like that is an imperfect science (Belle’s first Steelheart was way too big, both in the A-ring and tube length). For those who have not yet played with enforced chastity, my recommendation is to start with the CB-6000. It’s inexpensive (relatively) and allows lots of fit combinations to help you figure out the best sizing for you.

That said, I don’t think the CB6K is the most comfortable device. The A-ring in particular has nasty corners that dig too much during erections. Right now, the most comfortable device I wear is the Looker 02 (even with the urethral insert). The Jail Bird is a close second and would be just as good as the L02 if not for its open design at the end of the cage. The Steelheart, with a well fitted A-ring, would also rank pretty high.

SECURITY: The only really secure device (as defined as one you cannot get out of) is one that incorporates some type of piercing. Short of that, you want a device that feels secure. That’s, again, about fit. You want it to feel snug but not tight. Something that seems like a second skin until an erection comes along. The first Steelheart hung too low and was too heavy to feel like I couldn’t slip out at a moment’s notice without the PA fixing in place.

So, the best device in this department is the one that’s attached through your dick. I only wear one like that.

HYGIENEThe most hygienic device I currently wear (defined as the one that stays the cleanest after a day of normal urinating, etc.) is probably the Jail Bird. The Steelheart will always trap a small amount of urine even after the most thorough attempt to get it all out. Some guys seem really creeped out by that (it’s no big deal as long as you rinse it out at night). The Looker 02 has a tendency to retain urine in the urethral insert and therefore leaks after you’ve peed. The CB6K is about as good or bad as the Steelheart, but, since it’s plastic and not metal, it’s a bit harder to make thoroughly clean.

In any event, if the idea of dealing with lingering urine squicks you out, the JB is the way to go. Next best is the Steelheart, then the CB6K, then the Looker 02.

STEALTH: Stealth is defined by two metrics. Visibility and sound (as measured when wearing sweats or pajama pants, etc.). The Jail Bird with the security screw option is totally silent. The Looker 02 is nearly so. The Steelheart with the PA fixing and PA ring in place occasionally makes some noise, but not much. The CB-6000 was actually the noisiest due to the lock banging against the tube when I walked around. With regard to visibility, the CB6K (non-S version) was the most noticeable of all I’ve worn by far. The others are much less so (with the Looker 02 being the least visible), but of course, they’re all custom so YMMV.

SO…which is the best?

It’s a bit of a Sophie’s choice. They’re all good for different reasons. I guess, right now, if I could only wear one, I’d lean very slightly towards the Looker 02. Its tendency to trap urine in the tube is annoying but not a big deal for me. It’s super comfy and pretty fucking hot. However, if you’re new to a device, I still recommend the CB-6000 (probably the S version depending on your flaccid size). It’s a relatively inexpensive way to dabble and will help with figuring out sizing if you ever decide to go with steel.

More mailbag

This, from reader AB, came in right after I posted the last one:

After ordering an ill fitting Steelheart, I’ve bought the sizing rings from Mature Metal to try out some “mock” chastity. I’ve been wearing a larger ring around the base of my cock, which is tied onto another ring around the bottom of my shaft. I think i have a good size picked now due to fact that when flaccid, it’s almost unnoticeable, yet doesn’t move around.

My question to you is in regards to getting hard in chastity. When i get hard (and i do get fully erect without a cage to contain it), my junk has a dull ache, not quite pain, but almost, and the skin turns purple-ish (not flesh damaging extreme, but obviously showing that the cockring is too tight when erect).

Is this a normal part of the chastity experience? I’m imagining that this is why guys have trouble sleeping, but just want to be sure before shelling out more cash for a new device.

Your description of the sizing set-up reminds me of the Double Cockring I got from Steelworxx. With that, I ended up ordering the penisring (which is what Steelworxx calls the ring that…wait for it…goes around the penis!) to be just about the same size as the erect penis shaft (maybe just a tad smaller). I wanted to feel some grip, but not have the throbbing and purplish thing. 

Remember, though, when the penisring is attached to a chastity tube, you’re not going to get fully erect. Not even close. In my experience, the penisring and tube shouldn’t be any bigger around (or longer) than the normal size of your flaccid member. You don’t want to give it more room than that so as to avoid the issue you’re describing. I mean, yeah, it’ll still throb because it’ll be locked into a steel trap, but in a good way, and, as I’ve said before, smaller tubes and cages are more comfortable overall than bigger ones. I know for a fact that the penis on me doesn’t get purple in the Jail Bird, for example, but I know it would if the cage wasn’t there to keep shit under control.

Also, regarding your cages, does the jailbird have any of the pull out pins, and if so, what is your review on them.

Never messed around with them. I did use something similar in concept with the CB6K. They made the device a lot more uncomfortable (not always in the bad way) and perhaps made it a little teenie bit harder to pull out, but not much. A soapy soft penis can get out of any predicament. I’d think of them more of a CBT thing than a security thing, but I invite other readers who have used them to chime in.

in your SH-s, how much space did you leave to accommodate for the PA, as well as the tube size (with the addition of the PA fixing)

I think you’re asking how much additional space I left in the tube for the PA. Not much. The different devices measure tube and cage length differently, but if you see the comparisons of Belle’s SH-S and Jail Bird, the usable space inside them appears to be about a quarter inch different. I certainly wouldn’t allow for more than that.

Are you going to try wearing a PA with the JB? I find I can’t do that due to pinching. I also can’t use it for security with the JB for the same reason.

And finally, you blog is so hot. I would gladly suck your cock and let you lick my armpits.

You’d be sucking steel, but that could be hot, too. The armpit thing we might be able to work out, depending on how Belle feels about it. In either event, thanks for the compliment!

Houdini style

Some of you may be paying sufficient attention (or have sufficient interest) to recognize that my Belle has a bit of a pattern: I usually get extended free time over holidays. One might think this is because she’s feeling generously moved by the holiday spirit or something but I think it’s mostly because she’s more relaxed at those times and wants easier access to the device’s contents. In either event, the recent long holiday weekend here in the US was one of those opportunities for freedom. Except this time, we drove several hours to the familiar retreat in the woods only to find the means to my escape was left at home. And, really, it was all my fault.

Let’s back that up. A week or so before the holiday, Belle had let me out so she could fuck me. Weekend releases used to be multi-day affairs, but now she’s more inclined to let me out the morning of and put my back in that same day. On this particular day, she told me she wanted to “change my outfit” (meaning a different device sprinkled in). I had been in the Steelheart for months (with only these day or two releases) and she wanted a different look. In the past, even if I knew her intentions to lock me up by a certain day, I’d wait for a direct order to do so or for her to bring me the device she wanted me in. But this time, I took the initiative to follow the spirit of what she told me. I went to the pouch in which she keeps her three steel devices and selected the Jail Bird. She hadn’t told me which one she wanted but I picked it anyway.

The Jail Bird, you’ll remember, is secured with a screw, not a lock. Instead of a key, it has a special bit that fits the security screw’s odd head. You can’t screw it in or unscrew it with any off-the-shelf screwdriver. I found the JB in her device pouch along with both the little bits and put it on and placed the bits back in the pouch so nothing would get lost. Then, later in the day, when Belle grabbed my crotch and started to tell me it was time to go in, she was happily surprised that I had already taken care of it. She was even going to pick the Jail Bird, so all was copesetic.

But.

I didn’t follow the typical ritual. That is, she brings me the device and key (or key-like thing) and I go and put it on and bring her back the key-like thing when it’s over. This time, I left the key-like thing in the pouch. Mistake. My fault.

While we were getting ready for the long weekend, it occurred to me a few times to ask her if she wanted me out while we were gone and, if so, to remember to get the key-like thing, but this time, I didn’t want to appear presumptuous. I try not to expect release and don’t ask for it and am totally satisfied being out of the decision-making loop. And I figured she knew what I was in and what it would take to get me out. So, when the moment came when Belle wanted to use the contents, she plopped the Steelheart key next to me on the bed. And the situation we were in became instantly clear. She had forgotten how the Jail Bird was different in the only way that mattered at that moment.

Of course, we had sex anyway, but the penis didn’t get wet (except at the tip and all down my balls where it leaked like a motherfucker). She really wanted it and I felt bad that my screw-up was denying her, the person who’s not supposed to be denied anything. At some point, I realized I could probably break out of it. Of course, it’s not a lock. Had it been, I’d have been screwed (well, you know, figuratively). But it was just a little screw with a weird head. I had a plan.

To be clear, I asked Belle for permission to try and break out. And that fact that I could even consider this is one of the things some folks don’t like about the Mature Metal security screw option. It’s not actually that secure (which is why some guys order their JBs with an extra hole in the post next to the screw where they can affix one of those little numbered plastic lock thingies to ensure accountability). All I had to do was go and find a pair of needle-nose pliers. I was able to grip the head of the screw sufficiently to turn it with the pliers and, just a few minutes later, handed Belle the screw. I was out and stayed that way for the rest of the weekend. It’s possible, had the screw been more tightly turned, that I wouldn’t have been able to escape. But it wasn’t, so there I was.

After that, the penis got good and wet. I was even able to hold my shit together sufficiently to allow to get off on it. Everyone was happy.

When it was time to go back into the Jail Bird back, I made sure to screw it on nice and tight.

Random Jail Bird thoughts

Belle’s had me in the Jail Bird for the past couple of weeks for the first time in a long time. She’s made the Steelheart her main axe lately but seems to enjoy being able to poke and prod the penis through the JB’s bars and seeing it all bunched up and straining against its confinement.

In any event, having it on for a while has reacquainted me to some notable attributes of the device and a few other things worth mentioning…

  • The darn thing really is pretty comfortable. I continue to think the oval ring option is a great idea and one I think other device makers should offer. When we eventually get around to sending the Steelheart back for a new (slightly larger) A-ring, I’m going ask if they can make it oval.
  • The comfort of the device is evident in how much better I can sleep in it. It wakes me up during the early morning penile pressure check only about 30% of the time whereas the Steelheart (with it’s approximately 2 mm smaller ring) wakes me up more like 75% of the time (more often when I first get into it and less often the longer she keeps it on me). I assume this is due to the slightly larger ring circumference but also that it’s double-width and wider than any other A-ring I wear.
  • Darn thing feels really light. It’s about 20 grams (or about 10%) lighter than the Steelheart, but it feels like more.
  • So much easier to clean.
  • As I noted in my original review of it, there’s one annoying thing that’s just endemic to the design. The cage is made up of four bars: two that go along the top of the penis shaft, around the tip, and then back up the bottom and two more that make the same shape along the sides of the penis shaft. This makes a neat little square that’s more or less where the slit is at the end of the penis. All of this is fine and dandy, but I find that the end of the penis doesn’t stay lined up with that square. For whatever reason, it always shifts to the left a bit and the penis opening clomps onto the bar on that side of the square like a bear in the zoo trying to chew through its cage. Here’s an image of the clomping in action. Not a big deal normally. It only requires a moment of pinky prodding to get stuff aligned before taking a leak (otherwise, it’s radom spray pattern city). The problem comes in when the forgivingly supportive underwear I normally wear while in the Steelheart allows the JB and its occupant to move around somewhat freely in my pants. If the penis is anything other than totally flaccid, that bit of penismeat that’s left inside the square will be seemingly randomly get pinched against some combination of the underwear fabric, the seams of my jeans, and the steel of the device. That fucking hurts. Like, “FUCKWHATWASTHAT!?” kind of hurt. I find that I can’t just adjust the device to make the pinching stop. I need to shift the penis somehow. Not easily done in a casual way while in the presence of others. The way to keep this from happening as often, I’ve found, is to wear more restrictive (and concealing) underwear. It forces the device to stay situated more or less in a downward position, keeps the package from moving around as much, and the little meat flap doesn’t get pinched.
  • Finally (and this doesn’t have much to do with the device itself), my nuts are definitely getting bigger. I assume this is due to extended lack of orgasms. I can tell because of how differently it feels putting them through the various A-rings and cock rings we have. With the Steelheart, there is now always a definite moment of marked wincing as each pops though. However, if you look at the picture of me used in my review of the JB from last August compared to the image I linked to from today at the beginning of this post, they’re just fucking bigger. Maybe it’s not the testicles themselves that have grown. Perhaps it’s the epididymis or the vas deferens enlarging due to infrequent evacuation of their contents. Hard to know, but it’s a real thing and useful to know only in that it has an impact on how steel devices fit over time. I assume this is why the Steelheart’s A-ring (the oldest in Belle’s “fleet”) feels so much tighter than it used to.

Mailbag

Reader Rich wrote…

Just under a year ago, I ran across male chastity and cages.  I was intrigued even though I am single.  So, I bought I birdlocked.  Like Goldilocks, it was nice but not quite right.  Then I went to a black holy trainer.  This is when my girlfriend got involved.  She lives 200 miles away and things will move slow as I am a single dad of an 11 year old.  Anyway, I have found the holy trainer to be less than durable.  It’s time for METAL!  So I thought I would ask what you recommend.  I started reading your archives from the very beginning and am now up to August 2011.  I know you love the steelheart.  And you just got the new and improved jailbird.  I am wondering what metal you think might is the best or your favorite.  Thanks much and thanks very much for your blog.  My girlfriend and I both enjoy it very much!

Good for you guys!

Our favorite’s still the Steelheart. This is mostly an aesthetic thing. For me, it’s the real me as opposed to any of the other devices or even being unlocked. When I’m not in the Steelheart, I feel like I’m just waiting to go back in. That said, Mature Metal makes a good device, too. I keep getting feedback that Steelworxx (Dietmar) is non-responsive to email (and, to be honest, he was never much of a conversationalist due to the language difference), so for a first timer who likes the more open styles of MM devices, I’d probably give them the edge at this point.

Good luck!

Pastrychef purloined…

Saw this and hope it never happens to you!

Ibiza firemen free tourist trapped in sex toy

Medics in Ibiza were forced to enlist the help of buzz saw-wielding fire-fighters on Wednesday to free a German tourist from the clutches of a steel sex toy.

Emergency services needed two hours to cut through the metal ring, described as a type of “armour plating”, into which the man had placed his penis and testicles.

The firemen on hand needed two changes of battery and a second rotating blade for their buzz saw to free the man, local daily Diario de Mallorca reported on Friday.

There were “plenty of sparks” during the operation to remove the sex toy which measured 15cm in diameter.

The two-hour procedure was described as “very complex” because the man became “more swollen” with time.

He was also said to have complained a lot.

To finish the operation it was necessary to administer a total anaesthetic.

The fire crew received their unusual call-out at 10pm on Wednesday after medics at Ibiza’s Can Misses hospital discovered they didn’t have the tools to do the job.

It is not known how the man, a 51-yr-old German, got to the hospital.

This is not the first time that Majorcan fire-fighters have been called upon to free people from sex toys but “never one as big as this”.

After an overnight stay in the Urology department of the hospital the man is reported to have felt fine.

He was discharged late on Thursday morning.

You know, it’s just a matter of time.

slave r sizzled…

I just wanted to drop you a line thanking you for your amazing blog. I have recently begun my own journey into chastity. I find your writing to be insightful, erotic, and pretty damn funny from time to time! I’ve experienced truly agonizing erections within my cb3k thanks to your writing. As I continue on my own journey into subbie-land I look forward to your blog as a source of great entertainment. Keep up the good work!

Thanks, appreciate the fawning praise! Always a good way to start the day. Glad you’re having a good time not getting it up.

Peter populated…

Read your article on chastity. Very good run down on the pleasures and foibles of wearing a CB-6000 24/7. I’ve worn the CB-2000 for years until it broke at the tip. You’ll probably recall the locking pin rotated very easily and occasionally allowed the lock to pinch the delicate skin. The CB-6000, which i’ve worn since last September 2012, has a locking pin that is oblong in thickness and does not twist –right?

Yep. It’s oval so won’t spin. Also, there’s the two pins on either side to help keep shit from twirling.

All that said the weakest part of that current security design is the ease of twisting that lock and breaking the pin, or cutting the pin with a pair of small dikes. It’s an easy out of chastity.  If I had a machine shop I’d make that pin out of metal. More specifically master lock makes bigger models for electric gates that have the locking pin locking directly into the lock itself.  This would change the CB-6000 from an “on you honor” type device into a truly inescapable device.  Somehow in my mind I know that at any given time I can get out of it, like my key holder leaving me the key “just in case” makes the device more pointless. Knowing I am truly and inescapably locked away gives me a more surrendered and helpless feeling.

Sure, you could really amp up that lock and pin, but it’s still holding a plastic device together. If destruction of the device (or any part of it) is enough of an “out” for you and takes some of the buzz out of the game, then I’d say you need to consider going full metal (and you don’t mention it, but without a piercing, you can always just pull out). However, as the story above illustrates, full metal with no back-up plan for getting out could put a strain on your local emergency response personnel.

I do get that the hotness of chastity increases with its inescapability, but I think you should spend some time contemplating the meaning of your sacrifice. Why do you submit to the device? Why do you want to be denied? The longer I do this, the more of a weird frantic zen-like satisfaction (if such a thing is possible) I get from the mental part of the game.

Bryce babbled…

I read your review on the Locker 02 and the tips on the CB6000 and have some question about sizing.  I have been wearing a CB6000s with 1 7/8 “A” ring and the second to smallest spacer for a 3/8 space between ring and tube.  I think this is the same spacer you indicated using with the CB6000 device.  Is your 65mm overall length measured from the penisring to the tip of the cage or from the back of the “A” ring? Also did you measure along the top centerline or on the side centerline?  I would not consider myself very well endowed – viewing your Locker 02 install video, I think you look bigger than me.  Measuring my CB6000s setup, I calculate a 85-90mm overall length (from back of “A” ring measured along the side centerline)- Any chance you have an image of the assembled CB6000s next to the Looker 02?

I measured from the base of the penis shaft to the tip along the top (and more than once to get an average). The length for the Steelworxx devices is measured from the A-ring to the tip of the tube/cage. I don’t have a CB6Ks so I can’t compare them. The S model didn’t come out until after or very near we started to transition to metal.

When in doubt, buy shorter. Good luck!

Petter (don’t call him Peter) purred…

I’m thinking about getting a Steelheart, and was wondering if you could offer some tips about size.

I’ve got a cb6000. Here, I wear the middle sized ring, the 45 mm one. If I lubricate the shaft of the penis, this ring seems a bit too loose. When I don’t lubricate, it fits perfectly. The next ring that’s smaller than the 45 mm ring fits just barely with lubrication, but is too uncomfortable in the long run.

I find the cb6000 tube itself is a perfect, snug fit diameter wise. With the second smallest spacer, it’s also the perfect length.

From this, do you have any advice about what size ring, and width and length of tube would suit me best?

I found that the conversion to steel required a 3-5 mm reduction in the size of the A-ring. I too wore the 45 mm ring and bought that in steel and it was way too big. Now the Steelheart has a 40 mm ring and it’s probably just a tad too small (mostly because my balls have gotten noticeably bigger over time and the right one in particular has a hard time popping through). The Looker 02 uses a 42 mm ring and is better. A millimeter or two makes a huge difference down there.

WRT to length, I’d measure from the back of the A-ring to the tip of the tube and consider shaving off a couple of millimeters from that. The CB6K has a pointed tip and a steel device will be rounded. If you rounded off the CB6K cage, it would probably be too long (assuming it’s the right length now). This is something else I did since, like you, I found the CB6K cage to be fine. In steel, it felt (and was) too long. Also, it’s worth noting that the CB6K cage isn’t circular like a metal device will be and varies in circumference (tighter lower down the shaft then wider at the end). You’ll want to find a happy medium of the two.

Great site, by the way. Still haven’t had time to look through half of it.

Thanks. Try to only read the good half!