Hair of the hare

Got a text from Frodo the other day.

“You OK?”

And I was like, what did I do? Did I put something vague on Facebook? I texted back that I was fine, maybe a little grumpy, but otherwise OK. He was asking because my last post here was a while back and I was talking about anxiety and he’s a nice friend, etc., and was just checking in.

Last night, Belle also commented on the lack of posts. I said I just haven’t had anything to write about.

“So have we become boring?”

Gah! No. Sheesh.

I had been thinking I’d write about hair. Icky, nasty, profuse pubic hair and how one deals with it vis-à-vis chastity (and yes, I am exactly the kind of guy to use vis-à-vis unironically and correctly). And then something happened that gave me a good reason to talk pubes. Whew. A blog post was born.

A lot of guys who get locked up also remove their pubic hair. It’s a chastity thing, I guess. Some people (like me) just prefer to keep their bush trimmed (or more) while others get off on the supposedly emasculating aspect of being required to remove their pubes. I get that, but for me it’s a combination of simply preferring controlled hair down there and the fact that once they get to be maybe half an inch long or so, they tend to get caught in the little crannies of whatever device I’m in and get pulled out painfully at inopportune moments.

I keep my pubic hair trimmed to about a quarter inch or so and shorter the closer they are to the A-ring. I also shave the hair from the shaft of the penis (it goes about a quarter of the way up) and off my balls, but that doesn’t always end well. I think hair on the shaft and balls is unattractive and I far prefer the look of clean skin in those places. The tricky bit is being locked up with the stubble that comes 24-72 hours or so after shaving. Whatever device I’m in, the stubbly skin is pressed against itself setting up a significant irritation opportunity. For whatever reason, this was especially bad in the CB6K but can also be an issue in the Steelheart.

IF ONLY there was a way to get at that hair in a way that would reduce stubble or last longer than just shaving that didn’t require nuclear lasers mounted to sharks’ heads. That’s when Drew innocently mentioned a product he uses called ballsBALM (yes, that’s how they spell it…fucking marketing people, I swear). A little voice in my head said with an alarmed tone in his voice, “WHAT? A chemical depilatory on the penis!? The hell, you say.” But I ignored him because Drew used it successfully and it had four and a half stars on Amazon.

Yeah, it didn’t really work. Maybe it got rid of the scotum hair (mmmm, sexy sexy scrotum hair) but the hair on and around the base of the shaft was left pretty much untouched except for some, well, melting that left the hair on my body but all shriveled up and sorry looking. I still had to shave the melted hair balls off (mmmm, sexy sexy melted hair balls).

But you know, whatever, I can still shave. The real problem with the stuff with the silly name is that it burned the fuck out of the penis. On the right side of the shaft was a spot about the size of a small fava bean (or large pea or very small gumball or ridiculously large very small rock) where the skin was taken right off. I didn’t feel this while the burny goo was on, only once I washed it off. And it fucking STUNG.

The thing about penises that live most of the time in dark steel tubes is their skin is more sensitive and fragile than normal ones. I can barely stand to go commando when unlocked even without second-degree chemical burns. If I was allowed to jack off as much as I want, I’m sure I’d get blisters from it. Being perpetually locked up makes the penis a tender little flower of a thing and maybe I shouldn’t be slathering hair melting goo all over it.

Anyway, this explains the picture I posted on Tumblr the other day.

That was all on Sunday. I have been unlocked since. Belle would much prefer I be in the Steelheart and, truth be told, I would too, but no dice. I tried yesterday since the burn is nicely scabbed over (mmmm, sexy sexy penis scabs) but the location of the burn is exactly the spot where the PA fixing comes up and intersects with the edge of the tube and it was too painful. I’m starting to feel the itchy jumpy feeling from having freely accessible penismeat and a healthy craving for playing with it. Being unlocked for this long feels very odd but, on the plus side, I’m getting really good sleep in the wee hours of the morning.

Maybe I can go back in today. If not, it’s up to her, but perhaps we’ll wait until Sunday when I nearly always am locked back up anyway.

Hair control

It’s funny the things I can find sexy. Not funny as in clowns (because those motherfuckers are terrifying). Funny as in things typically not thought of as sexy by normal (you know) people.

Case in point. Belle likes hair on men. I don’t know where the line is (like, this dude’s probably over the top for her, but probably not this guy and definitely not this one), but luckily for me, I’m a reasonably hairy dude. Belle says the first thing that attracted her to me was the view of the triangle of chest hair that stuck out of the dress shirts I wore when we worked together. In fact, in writing that, I remember another girlfriend who was similarly focused. Guess it’s a thing then.

Anyway, the guy who cuts my hair likes dudes with little or no hair. At least, he likes them to have very short hair on their heads (and shaves his own). Unless I remember to specifically remind him not to cut it too short, he will. He also seems to find offense that Belle thinks he’s too energetic with the clippers because when I tell him to leave more on the top than he wants to, he scrunches up his face and like a jealous old drag queen and says, “Why, because Belle wants me to?” But, you know, he uses her real name. To which I reply, “Yes,” and he asks if she’s the boss of me and I tell him, well, in actual fact, she is. He rolls his eyes.

The other thing Belle likes is facial hair. I have a beard right now solely because Belle likes it. I grew it earlier in the year for her and won’t shave it off until she says I can (and even then, I’ll leave the Van Dyke-like thing I’ve had since forever, again because she liked it, but now it’s been there so long I can’t imagine not having it). At least she’s OK with me keeping the beard short. Unlike my pubes.

My pubes are longer now than they’ve been in a really long time. Maybe since I started attaching things to my body down there. I went away on my camping trip with a bit of a shag and, upon seeing the additional growth, she told me how much she liked it. So it stayed. Now, they’re noticeably fuller than usual and I am indefinitely suspending any pube trimming (except for some shaving around the edges and on the shaft, mostly for the devices I wear and because I think hair on a penis is revolting and she hasn’t expressed an opinion on it). Last night, when we were heading off to sleep, she was on her side facing away from me (as usual) and I was nakedly clutching her from behind (as usual) and her left hand happened to land right where her fingers could just touch the lock on the Looker 02 and she made a happy sound.


“Nothing. I just felt your little bushy part and liked it.”


Had I my druthers, I’d have probably shaved the beard off by now and cut my hair shorter and I’d have definitely trimmed my pubes down to about a 1/4″ , but I haven’t done any of that. How is this different than any person modifying how they are to be more appealing to their partner? Dunno. What I do know is, I’m doing this stuff with my hair because of her and her preferences and that lights my submissive circuits up.

EDITED to add that this, BTW, is my 800th post on the blog. For serious! Eight hundred!