Conundrum

Read my blog long enough and you’ll know that I’m a big fan of Dan Savage. Not just in a sqeeing fanboy way, but because I think his column and podcast make the world a better place for humans who have sex (read: all of them, excepting perhaps asexuals). I have a great deal of respect for him.

Last night, he sent me a DM on Twitter asking if I’d be on his show if a related question ever came in. I assume he was talking about male chastity. My initial and visceral reaction was fuck yes! But…

First and foremost, you may recall I gave my son a subscription to the Savage Lovecast when he turned 16. I have no idea if he actually listens to it, but he may. Imagine hearing your dad talk about his sex life in public unexpectedly when you were a teenager. Ew.

Second, there are a ton of people I know who listen to Dan’s show and by going on it I’d be “outing” Belle and I and what we do in the bedroom (and what I do by myself and with Drew and that Drew exists, etc.). That doesn’t bother me nearly as much as the first thing, but Belle’s been very cautious in the past with regard to protecting our mild-mannered identities.

Oddly, she was all for me going on the show (if the opportunity ever came up). Enthusiastic, even. I reminded her about the kid and her attitude was something like he’d find out eventually anyway. That was a surprise. One, no, he may not. And two, I mean, ew.

This presented a real “money where your mouth is” kind of moment for me. If not for the kid, I’d absolutely do the show. Even though it’d mean friends and probably other family members learning all about what Belle and I do and what I do and what I have in my pants. I do believe in the right of other people not to know those things, but I don’t think doing something like the Lovecast is like wearing a t-shirt that says “ASK ME ABOUT MALE CHASTITY!” I won’t lie and say the prospect of being outed like that makes me a nervous, but it’s who I am and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it at all. As with other kinds of outings, I think living on the other side of it would actually be better and/or more fun.

I’ve told Dan that I think being on his show would be a blast but I worry about the kid. That’s where it is. I don’t see a way past that, so I don’t know what will ever come from the offer. However, I am pleased as punch that Dan put it out there and more than a little honored. Dan nearly always has really smart, really knowledgeable people on and to think he’d give me the chance to be one of them is really great.

Funnily enough, I’ve often wondered what I’d ever call-in or write to Dan about. What sexual conundrum he could help me solve. And here’s one he helped create.