I was recently tagged on BlueSky by someone who’s tracking stats similarly to how I do. They just passed four months without orgasms. 🎉
Speaking of which, my numbers as of today are…
Soon, it will have been a year since I had a proper look at the contents outside its containment. Obviously, I see a little of it through various openings in devices, and I’ve seen some bits and pieces while swapping devices, but I’ve not seen it in its entirety outside of some form of its confinement. Specifically, I have not seen the shaft at all. I hold it in my hand when unlocked and doing things like shaving. It rarely ever reacts to that touch.
It’s been over a year and a half since I was unlocked. I define that as being outside a device overnight. In fact, I don’t think I’ve had more than two hours unlocked in that time since I’m only unsecured for trips through airport security.
Similarly, I haven’t stroked myself in about the same amount of time. I actually really miss feeling a cock in my hand, even if it’s not mine. Luckily, I do get to experience that from time to time thanks to Belle allowing me extracurricular activities.
Also, obviously, I haven’t come in that same year and a half. Nothing.
The big one is when she last allowed me to fuck her. That cuts the most on days when she’s allowing me to get her off. Some mornings, like the last time it happened, the craving to feel her hot wetness envelope the contents was off the charts intense. Just a gnawing, overwhelming, all-encompassing craving. It hits me as soon as my fingers feel the slickness of her labia and crests as I feel her orgasm pulse under my touch. But then it starts to ebb as the afterglow radiates out of her. The idea that I would ruin that moment by pushing into her and unloading 36 seconds later just seems sort of heretical.
I think I’ll never get to feel that again. She suggests that’s the case, though she also led me to believe that 605 days ago when she let me fuck her the last time. But I do have to assume I’m forever pussy-free now, but it’s obviously not my choice.
The thing about these numbers is after a while they start to develop a kind of gravity all their own. Tracking them as visibly to myself as I do makes them almost impossible to think about resetting. Five hundred and sixty days without orgasm is my record. That means tomorrow will be a new record. And the day after that, another. Ad infinitum.
The other day I thought of a fun idea that, at another time in our dynamic, we might try, but because of the scale of the numbers I’m not sure we would today. The idea is that for each orgasm I give her in a month, I would earn one minute of time with her applying a vibrator to the device. If I gave her two orgasms that month, I’d get two minutes. If I gave her eight, I’d get eight. But, I’d have to take all those minutes no matter what happens. If I come in 30 seconds, I have to endure seven and a half more minutes of sensation. If I last the entire duration, no matter how close I am at the end, that’s it until the next month. I think that sounds pretty fucking hot. And not being allowed outside the device — not feeling any sensation like jacking off or fucking — should keep me mostly in my sub/headspace. But…yeah. Maybe at a different time. I don’t think she’d go for it nowadays.
Anyways, a little over four months from now it’ll have been two years since my last fuck. And almost two months after that, it’ll have been two years since my last day unlocked/stroke/orgasm. And…it would be very hard to see those numbers go to zero. Very hard.