I’m now in the twelve month since the last time Belle let me fuck her. I usually tell Belle when we cross one of these little milestones and she’s never that impressed by them. I find the ticking of the days to be meaningful while she just…doesn’t. She’s never been that into the whole tracking part that I’ve been obsessed with forever.
Perhaps part of her ambivalence towards tracking duration is her realization that the amount of time I’ll be locked and denied access to her pussy and/or my orgasm is now set to ♾️. She’s made it pretty clear that the last time she let me fuck her, which was totally out of the blue and on a whim, was a mistake. I’m a lousy fuck thanks to having the hairiest of hair triggers and the experience ended up being so traumatic for me that it blew me out of my headspace for months.
When we crossed nine months and then ten, I asked her what the likelihood was that she’d let me fuck her again. She didn’t want to rule anything in or out because she wants to maintain the privilege of doing whatever she wants at all times, but it doesn’t sound like she thinks it’s going to happen anymore. In any event, she tells me I should assume no.
I didn’t expect her to let me fuck her again when it happened the last time but because that was such an annoying experience for her, I’m really expecting that it’s not going to happen anymore. And since that’s the only way I was allowed to orgasm, I assume that’s the end of that, too.
When I started this blog, the first time I was denied access to her pussy was just 24 hours. Now it’s the rest of my life. Back then, I’d be locked up for days or weeks and then would be out for days or weeks. Now I’m locked basically always. She used to let me come every week or so. Now it’s never.
To be fair, I was a big instigator of pushing my limits. The more I was locked and denied the more I wanted to be that way. For a long time, I didn’t really think we’d end up here. But here we are.
In a way, I feel like it’s completing the circle this blog started sixteen years ago when we set out on this journey. Well, we have now arrived at the ultimate destination. I don’t really know what the purpose is any more of Denying Thumper now that denied is the only way I’m ever going to be.
I’m not officially ending the blog. But the conundrum remains. I already feel like every post is rehashing something I’ve already written about a year ago, three years ago, or five years ago. I don’t know that I have anything new to say.