Category: Chastity Nerdery

I was listing to today’s Sex & Psychology podcast from Justin Lehmiller. It was part one of a two part conversation with Paul Botto from KINK3D on “why chastity turns people on.” All in all, a fairly introductory exploration of the subject, but nice nonetheless as anything that raises the profile of the practice is OK by me. I’m looking forward to part two of their talk.

As an aside, I do wish KINK3D, probably the dominant manufacturer of male chastity devices on the planet, would make something designed to integrate piercings. But I’ve felt that way for a long time. Alas.

At one point, Justin asked Paul about people who might be interested in using chastity devices as a way to keep them from indulging or practicing a kink (even and up to simply masturbating) that they feel embarrassment or shame from. Paul had no answer to that and, I think, rightfully so. Using chastity to paper over a form of sexual deviance that brings you shame is a really terrible idea.

For one, chastity and denial makes you way more horny and being super horny is not the way to try and take your mind off the thing that you want to do when you’re horny, even if you don’t like it.

And two, not only will being locked up make you more focused on the thing you don’t like about your sexuality, it will likely bring to the fore things you didn’t even know you were into. I’ve made the point before here and on other podcasts, but denial will, over time, expose kinks and predilections you previously never suspected existed. It’s like regularly shooting your load keeps the reservoir of your sexuality full. It covers up the deep recesses of your full sexual topography exactly like the water in a lake or an ocean covers their hidden depths. But once you stop coming, the level of that pool starts to lower and peaks and crevasses start to poke out. Things you never would have fantasized about or indulged in when regularly satiating yourself start to appear.

You read about locked cucks suddenly wanting to service their wive’s bulls, for example. Guys who never showed any signs of being bisexual. For me, all my previous subtle predilections regarding bondage and masochism fully blossomed. My ability to embrace my fundamental submissive nature, as well. And, most surprisingly to me at the time, was the realization that I was a cuck. That particular aspect of my sexuality was never known until I was locked up and hadn’t come for a while.

So yeah, if there’s a part of your sexuality you’re ashamed of or wish didn’t intrude into your thoughts, locking yourself up is just really a rotten terrible no good idea. Go see a therapist and talk it though, instead.

Lately, I’ve been having conversations with a few people via Bluesky about their inability to achieve erection after long-term denial and chastity. My experience seems to be a little different than theirs.

For me, I can still get hard. I wake up every morning with a stuffed device (and it feels amazing). Also, when I’m turned on sufficiently, I can still fill the cage just fine. So, physiologically, everything still works. But I’ve been told by some guys that they don’t get erections at all. Ever.

What’s different between now and early on when I was locked is that I don’t try to get hard as often, even when I’m stimulated such that I would have popped an unlocked boner or found myself uncomfortably tight in the early days. Browsing visual porn or reading erotica doesn’t elicit much of a reaction. Maybe a pleasant little chubbing. I have to be very turned on to actually strain against my confinement. When I’m getting Belle off or right when she’s coming usually does it. When I’m with Frodo, it can happen, too. So it definitely happens, just not as frequently.

Back when Belle was unlocking me more regularly for sex, she’d give me the key and let me take off whatever I was in prior to getting her off. In those cases, when the contents was out, it’d get plenty hard in advance of what was to come (all too quickly). But, in that same situation (then and now) with no expectation of release, I don’t get hard. Maybe a little. But not always.

I’ve also noticed that when I’m very occasionally out during a shower for maintenance and deep hygiene, it barely reacts. Even as I’m grabbing and pulling it about to get the razor over the bits I usually can’t reach. Nothing. Like there’s some kind of switch that’s set to off. Literally zero reaction. The last time I was in that spot, I thought I couldn’t have made it hard even if I was trying. It just felt so remote and alien.

I know what I’m allowed to do. I know what I have the urge to do. I know that those things rarely align. I don’t want to be bad and the fact that I desire to obey the rules is stronger than the reptile brain part of me that would actually enjoy being hard and jerking it or sticking it in something or someone.

On this week’s Savage Love episode, Dan had a question about hypnotism as a kink and, specifically, if it was bullshit. His guest, Sadie Dingfelder, came on to talk about what the science says. I won’t get into the whole thing (you should listen), but the thing that stuck with me is that the brain is a very powerful thing. With enough work or willingness plus suggestion, our brains can make us feel or forget or engage in things we otherwise would not. I think long term, up to and bordering on permanent chastity, could easily create a similar kind of brain over body outcome. Specifically, we could train ourselves to stop having erections. The part of the brain open to the suggestion could override the bits that control when we got hard-ons in response to stimulation.

I think that can go further, too. I’ve said before how I don’t really feel like I have a penis anymore. How the device is a definite part of me and probably a better representation of my identity than the remote, disconnected from my reality thing that’s inside it. I have been conditioned to believe that (and I really do). I know there’s a penis in there. I still feel occasional, fleeting urges to use it how it was intended to be used. But there’s a block between me and that reality created by constant near-24/7/365 separation from the contents.

There was a time when the idea of being this way — mentally/emotionally modified and conditioned by chastity to lose this thing that many would consider central to the male experience — would have made me very turned on. The device would have been tight as a drum writing these words. Now, nothing. It’s still pretty hot imo tbh — I can feel that — but nothing is stirring.

However, as I said, the plumbing still works. Nocturnal tumescence is completely involuntary and I wake up every morning with it. And since I’ve been locked up quite literally for years and haven’t slept outside a device for the last 725 days, nothing in my experiencing makes me think permanent chastity does lasting physical harm. At least, it does not appear to have done so to me.

If I was suddenly not getting hard at all, I’d go to the doctor because there are other serious conditions that could cause that.

Whenever I post a screenshot like this one…

I am invariably asked what app it is that I use to track how long and in what device Belle keeps me locked. Recently, I’ve also been asked to explain how I use the app. And since we’re close to the end of the year, I figure now’s a good time to oblige.

The app is called ATracker. I got it from the iOS App Store, but there’s also a Google Play version. Today, there’s a version called ATracker Pro, but that’s not the one I have. It didn’t exist when I first started using it. I’m not sure how they’re different, but they look very similar based on the App Store listings. Also note, I never upgraded to the premium version. I just didn’t need the extra features. At this point, I have no idea what I paid. It’s just been too long and I barely remember what I had for dinner yesterday. I do know my version doesn’t have ads and only the Pro version lets you remove them so I must have bought some level of the app that’s not offered anymore.

In any event, my first entry tracking the locked status of the contents was on 12/30/2015 when I went into the Steelheart. Since then, I’ve been locked in the Steelheart 1,427 days, 9 hours, 36 minutes. Almost four years. The device I’ve been locked into the second most is the Evotion Orion. Four hundred seventy six days, thirty six hours. After that is the titanium Evotion Orion at 393 days, 45 minutes. Overall, in the 3,650 days that have occurred between that first day tracking and yesterday, I’ve been locked for almost 3,384 of them. That’s nine and a quarter years. Ninety two percent of the time.

I know all that thanks to ATracker! So, how do I use it?

If you wanted to just know how long you’ve been locked, you can create a task in the app and call it something like “Locked.” From the Today screen, just tap the “+ Create Task” button at the bottom of the screen and name it “Locked.” That screen looks like this:

I add little icons, but that’s optional. Also, all my devices are colored blue. Just a matter of preference. If you wear multiple devices and want to track how much time you spend in each, make a task named for each one. Once the task(s) is created (either just the “Locked” task or one named for the device you’re in), clicking on the little stopwatch-looking icon in the top right corner of the Today screen will allow you to start the timer.

At this point, you can also do what I eventually did and create a task for when you’re not locked. I used to just not have a task running when I wasn’t locked but once the rule became clear that I was to be locked unless specifically allowed not to be, I realized I needed to track that unlocked time the same as my default state. So, you make another task and call it “Unlocked” if that’s what you want to do. Depending on your dynamic and any rules that have been established for your enforced denial, you might make multiple. Maybe to track when you’re unlocked with permission or unlocked for necessities of life (TSA, doctors), etc.

Once you have multiple tasks (ie, devices or locked states), you can switch back and forth on the Today screen by simply tapping the one that’s running to end it and tap another to start it. My Today screen looks like this:

You see all the devices I’ve ever added to the app, though I only wear about four (at least, that’s how many I’ve worn this year). it also shows the unlocked states I used, but right now, since I’m basically never allowed to be unlocked, I only use the “Unlocked (punishable)” task if I’m out longer than five minutes. It’ll also show you how long the current running task has been going.

Note that the app will let you have multiple tasks running at the same time, so be careful to stop one before starting another. I thought there was a setting to avoid that, but I can’t find it now. Maybe it’s in there somewhere.

The Reports tab lets you see the numbers you’ve logged. You can look at today, the last seven days, etc. Usually, I’m looking at a month at a time or a range to get year-to-date.

So…that’s about it. If you have any questions, just ask!

I was just listening to the most recent Savage Lovecast (#991) and a listener asked for Dan’s permission to walk around his house naked in front of windows with their blinds up even though people on the outside might see him and the fact that being seen by someone kind of turned him on.

Dan’s advice shocked me. First, he said the caller didn’t need his permission and could do what he liked (not the shocking part), but then he said the caller might get arrested. Apparently, there are several cases of people being naked in their own homes and being seen from outside and then getting arrested and, reader, let me tell you. I am naked in my own home and walk in front of windows every goddamned day.

Our house has huge plate glass windows that look out onto the street and every morning I get up and go into the kitchen for my morning caffeine and I do this walk in front of the massive windows in exactly the same state I sleep: entirely naked (except for, you know, that one part). Of course, I know I might be seen at some point even though we live on a pretty quiet street at that time of day. I know and I just don’t care. It’s my fucking house, after all, and I feel like I should be able to enjoy it however I like. And I’m not doing anything sexual. I’m just walking, albeit nakedly. And locked.

Then Dan got onto the subject of secret perving and the ethics of that. Such as, is it OK for a foot fetishist to have a job selling shoes? Dan says yes, as long as the act of putting a shoe on someone doesn’t result in visible erections and profuse drooling. The best analog I have to that is being locked up all the time and sometimes being in situations where the device can be seen.

There’s kind of three levels to this. One is when I’m just walking around wearing jeans or something and the device (especially the Steelheart) can be perceived. I saw that it was visible this morning when I put my jeans on. The bulge of the tube was evident in the mirror in our bedroom, though a slight adjustment made it go away. But that means at other points in the day, the bulge is certainly reemerging and someone could easily see it and I don’t spend a lot of time worrying about that.

The second level is when I’m running. I have some running tights I occasionally wear and thin running shorts and the tights in particular leave little to the imagination. I’m 100% positive people have seen the obvious bulge of the device as I ran by because I’ve seen people look directly at it.

The third level is the TSA. I have been caught by them before and had to show the device. I’ve also been scanned and had the device show up and the agent just waved me though. I used to go though TSA locked all the time and almost always got though unaccosted, but tend not to anymore because I don’t want the hassle.

I can forthrightly say in all these cases I don’t care whatsoever if anyone sees the device. I’m so over it. I know there are some who would say I’m forcing them to participate in my sex life, but I don’t think of it that way. Being permanently locked is a lot more than just “my sex life.” I consider it more a lifestyle than an act. For me, it’s not really optional. It’s who and what I am. Similarly, if anyone saw and asked I’d tell them. But I don’t feel like being locked is optional for me.

Over on Reddit, there was a guy recently who said he didn’t lock up outside the house at all for fear that someone might see the bulge and know he’s locked. Oh, sweet summer child. That’s adorable. Truth is, people (and guys especially) are always checking out our bulges and vanishingly few would see one that’s larger than usual and think it’s anything other than a big dick.

So anyway, maybe it’s different to walk in your own house naked vs. walking in your own house sporting a shiny metal object where your penis used to be. But I think my opinion stands. It’s my house, it’s my body, I’m not hurting anyone. I’m going to keep walking around however I want as I have done for the last 19 years living here. I’m also going to keep going around locked up because I’ve been doing that for almost as long and nobody seems to care.

But, you know, YMMV. Also, young locked newbies, don’t worry about anyone seeing your cute little bulge. You care about it about 1,000x more than they do.

I just got back from one of my semi-annual sojourns into the wooded backcountry. These trips used to turn into an excuse to unlock for a week. I’d inflate hygiene issues or physical activity like hiking or the relatively low chance of one of my camping friends somehow finding out about the device into sufficient reason to take it off. Of course, the hygiene part is manageable, the hiking thing is too, and while I’m not advertising I’m also not afraid of anyone finding out I’m locked. So I stay as I’m required to be.

I do, however, take a key for emergency purposes. I recall one time I had shaved prior to going on one of these trips and it was hot and the combination of the stubble, sweat, and friction was very unpleasant. The device had to come off for a few days (though I put it back on ASAP because the exposed contents rubbing around in my pants is its own form of torture). However, this time, in my rush to get on the road, I left the key behind. I didn’t realize this until I was a couple hundred miles from home.

I really don’t recommend not having an emergency key around for, you know, emergencies. But I also do acknowledge that being in an inescapable device you literally cannot get off your body at all is super hot. Not so smart, but hot. Belle and I went on a little trip at Labor Day and the key was forgotten then, too. This is becoming a bit of thing, apparently.

Anyway, turns out I did develop a little hot spot under the ring. The liberal application of silicone lube kept it from turning into something worse. It was basically manageable, though if I had had the key I would have used it. Since I did not, my streak of days being locked remains unbroken at 466 (and I haven’t seen the unlocked contents in 253 days).

Upon returning home, the titanium Orion needed a deep clean so I placed the contents into our venerable Steelheart. Besides the need to clean the Orion, I have found that hotspots can be managed by swapping into a different device whose differently shaped base ring rubs, well, differently. Belle and I are flying in early October so I will be in the Steelheart at least the next three weeks before swapping into the plastic Orion.

The Steelheart produces a very different psychological aspect to my chastity. The Orion devices are smaller, tighter, and lighter and with their integrated PA security end up feeling like they’re fused with my body. The devices and the thing they secure are one.

The Steelheart is relatively roomier and overall larger and much heavier. Unlike the fusion of contents and device I experience in the Orions, the Steelheart is simply a steel tube into which a penis is hanging. I can feel the contents move around in there. I’ve gone from having a device that leaves the contents totally inert and difficult to discern as a separate thing to one that’s clearly a simple and somewhat crude penis prison.

Similarly, the Orion devices lay flatter and are shorter overall where the Steelheart is longer and more basically shaft-shaped so when my hand inevitability finds its way down there, it feels more like a big steel dick. It’s also far easier to get my fingers into the Steelheart tube which, of course, makes cleaning easier but also allows me to feel what the contents are.

Finally, the sensation of having an erection in each of them is very different. The Orion is always full with zero extra room so when the contents get hard, it’s just a feeling of pressure and a knot develops behind the base ring. In the Steelheart, I can feel the contents being forced to conform to the curve of the tube. There is clearly an erection in there, albeit a foreshortened and directed one. The interior circumference of the Steelheart is not too dissimilar from the circumference of the contents when hard so, again, the sensation is less the unified fusion of device and meat I get from the Orion and more imprisoned meat.

Of course, the Steelheart was my main axe for years and I had the “it’s just part of me” feeling while wearing it. I expect if I kept it on long enough I’d get back there again but the Orion just so much more clearly has a configuration that promotes that feeling of fusion. It has the benefit of years of refinement of the male chastity experience behind its design and manufacture. My Steelheart is over 15 years old, after all.

I love the old Steelheart. And I actually do love that I’m getting such a different sensation from wearing it. But this swap reinforces for me that the Orion is the pinnacle chastity experience for me. I’m enjoying the Steelheart but know it won’t be long before I crave the compact control of the Orion again.

Way back in 2020, I was unlocked for 413.5 hours in 366 days (it was a leap year). So 95.3% of the year, I was in chastity. In 2021, the unlocked number dropped to 224.5 hours (97.4% locked). The year after that, I was unlocked for just 20.6 hours all year. I was locked 99.76% of the time.

For 2024, I was hoping to beat 20.6. But I very much did not. I went through The Troubles and ended up unlocked a shocking (for me) 119.3 hours. That’s 98.6% locked which is still a lot and not far off from 2022 and still way more than 2020. But I consider it a black mark on my record specifically since I chose to be unlocked. Very bad rabbit.

But I’m a good rabbit now and Belle seems disinclined to recreate the conditions which led to The Troubles (ie, letting me fuck her), so I’m back to being bullish on setting new endurance records for myself.

Officially, Belle has said I should be unlocked for no more than 25 hours in 2025. If we were a corporation, we might make “25 in ‘25!” posters, mousepads, and lapel pins to reinforce the goal, but we’re not so we haven’t. But yeah, 25 is my official objective. She wants me locked up no less than 99.7% of the year.

I, however, have set for myself a stretch goal. In a perfect world, I’d be locked up 100% of the time Belle decided she didn’t want the contents and if that ended up being 100% of the year, so be it. The world, as is being demonstrated on an hourly basis now, is far, far from perfect. There are some situations where I need to be unlocked. Precisely two, in fact.

1. Doctor’s visits
2. Travel

I usually unlock for the doctor. Depends on the purpose of the visit. Recently, I find I’m always unlocking for travel. I have PreCheck so go through the metal detector by default and most of the time could get through in the resin Orion just fine but even PreCheck people are randomly sent though the backscatter scanner which no hard object can get through undetected. Even then, when I go through there locked and the device is picked up, most of the time the TSA agent sends me through. But not always. And, for whatever reason, I’ve decided I’m over that potential encounter, even when not traveling with work colleagues or family other than Belle.

Considering all that, my stretch goal for the year is 12 hours. Hitting that is entirely dependent on how much I fly, how many times I think the doc will need access to the contents, and how many times Belle wants the contents.

The math whizzes in my audience will have already worked out that 12 hours in a year is no more than one hour a month. In thinking it through, 12 hours might be achievable. In January, I flew four times resulting in being unlocked for a hair more than two hours. In February I’m not scheduled to fly at all. So that would put me on track. In March I will fly twice. That’s about another 1-1.5 hours. In April, no flying again. Two more times in May and once in June and another one in July means I should be about 6-8 hours unlocked, due only to flying, by the end of July. Potentially, right on track.

After that, I only have two flights on the schedule. Surely, more air travel will come up. And I’ll see the doctor at some point. But the thing is, 12 seems totally achievable. That would be a locked percentage of 99.86 of 2025(!). Call it 99.9%

The other goal that goes without saying is zero. Not one unauthorized orgasm. What Belle decides there is her business, of course.

A little over a week ago, I was driving across country to spend a week in a tent in the woods with Muggle friends which is always an interesting experience being a permanently locked guy. I’ve written about the logistics of that on here a few times before, so I won’t get into it too much except to say I remember a time when I would wuss out and unlock a day or two in and am happy to report I now know there is no excuse to do so with a modicum of forethought and preparation.

But, on my way there, I spent a lot of time in the truck by myself watching the scenery go by and, really, only half of that scenery is very attractive, so I was pleasantly surprised to see that I was going to be able to listen in to one of Dan Savage’s Savage Love Live events. He does them on Zoom and, usually, I can’t make them due to work or whatever, but this time I was just sitting there so I jumped on. I did not expect to have any reason to say anything until all of a sudden I did.

Someone came on as asked Dan about locking a sub up. They were inexperienced in doing that and she wanted to know if it was OK to keep him locked up overnight, etc. Dan answered that keeping a penis locked up overnight could lead to damage, which, the way he explained it, sounded very scary. I was so ready to raise my hand and put in my two bits (well, more like 2,653 bits) when I hit a spot where my connectivity was crap so the Zoom call kept dropping. Drat. I wish I could have spoken up.

Then, on my trip back, I was catching up on old Savage Love podcasts that I hadn’t gotten to and someone called in to talk about a friend of theirs who — and I can hardly bring myself to type this — injected meth into their penis to make it smaller.

*cleansing breath*

The caller wanted to know if there was any way Dan knew of that her meth injecting friend could make his penis smaller without the, you know, meth injection. Dude really kinked on having a small penis, apparently, and told his friend, the caller, that the penis-shrinking properties of fucking METH INJECTIONS was why he kept going back to it.

Dan mentioned that chastity devices are a thing and some are very small (to the point of making the penis totally internal), but then also circled back to the very scary apparent danger to the penis from being locked up. I started talking to the dashboard of my truck but quickly realized that was pointless and decided then and there to write this post when I got back to a spot where I could. And here we are.

First off, I’m not going to say that the shaft of the penis won’t potentially change due to being locked up. I’ve experienced that, for sure. And, more recently, I’ve found even more changes to the shape of the contents when erect (which I thought was likely to have happened). I do not know if the changes to the erection are permanent, though they very well may be.

BUT, is this “damage?” I have no issues achieving and sustaining an erection. It’s even fit for purpose, as has recently been demonstrated. It is definitely different, but it’s still perfectly functional. I think about it as synonymous with body modifications such as piercings or tattoos. Some piercings are permanent, like the Prince Albert. My piercer told me (with the little organ in her hand and the needle about to punch though) that that kind of piercing doesn’t always close on its own like ears do. But even ear (or other) piercings that are allowed to close leave a scar. Tattoos are permanent unless one goes and has them removed through the application of lasers (or something). And that’s how I think about the changes chastity has brought to the contents.

Technically, clinically, I’m sure a doctor would say chastity has damaged the erectile tissue. But, as I said and at least for me, they are still perfectly functional. There’s not a huge curve in the shaft when hard and there’s no discomfort. It’s just different.

I also would say it took years for this change to happen. Years of being locked all day, every day (and night). Keeping a guy locked up for a night or even a week’s worth of nights has, it would seem to me, a very slim chance of making any lasting changes to his dick (assuming, I suppose, that the device is reasonably well-fitted).

I get that my situation is an edge case. Most guys don’t lock up for years at a time. Most guys have a relationship with their penises where any impact to their shape or appearance would be unwelcome. But also, chastity dabbling is just really unlikely to make any impact at all in that regard.

At this point in my life and journey through enforced denial, it makes no difference. I would be fine if Belle left me locked for the rest of my life. I fucking love how it feels to be squeezed tight in whatever device I’m locked into, not just when hard and horny, but especially in the morning when it’s as hard as it gets all day. Exchanging those sensations for a shaft that’s no longer perfect is, for me, fair. And, if a penis is locked up always and forever, what difference does it make what shape it takes when not locked up?

But, getting back to the meth injecting small penis enthusiast, unfortunately I can report that being locked up for years at a time 100% does not shrink one’s penis. The contents are essentially the same length now, when out and hard, as they were more than a decade ago before it ever saw the inside of a cage or a tube. Alas, I suppose.

Not being a doctor, I can only surmise that injecting meth into one’s penis has the potential to so much more actual damage, not only to the penis in question but the whole rest of the body and mind it’s attached to than locking a plastic or metal cage onto it instead. In fact, for me and a lot of guys, there is a great deal of mental and emotional benefit and satisfaction from being kept that way.

But I’m just one guy with one locked penis. YMMV.