Why this blog?

Orgasm denial comes in many flavors (most of them salty). “Male chastity” along with “tease and denial” are other common names. I’ve found similar concepts in both Indian and Judaic tradition. In addition, it seems to be a foundational element of BSDM.

The reason I started this blog, though, was not to categorize, compare, and contrast all the various practices (though that might happen along the way). None of the sites I’ve found seem to be written for me or my partner. There are elements of nearly all of them that appeal to me (and my kinky side), but when I think of how I want orgasm denial (OD) to work in our relationship, I can’t find an analogue. So, since we’re at the very beginning of our exploration and I don’t have anyone other than my partner with which I can discuss it, here I go. Maybe this will prove helpful for someone else.

A few things up front. First of all, everything you read here will be true. I will not relate events to you that did not occur nor will I embellish those that did. You’ll just have to trust me on this. Second, I have no idea how long this thing will go. Maybe I’ll lose interest in a couple of days or weeks. Maybe not. I assume it will go at least until OD becomes a “normal” part of the life my partner and I will lead, but there are no guarantees in life.

Greetings

I am a 41-year-old father of two and husband of 11 years. I live in a mid-sized American city and own a small business. You can call me Thumper.

Recently, my wife and I started couple’s therapy (for reasons that I will make clear). Short story, after 11 years, we found ourselves in a situation not unlike that of many other couples (whether they know it or not). We grew apart, I hurt her, and there we were. Luckily, we both wanted to save the relationship. Regardless of whatever I did, I’ve never for a second stopped loving my wife, and neither did she stop loving me. However, there were issues. We had stopped communicating and our sex life had pretty much disappeared. I resented her lack of sexual availability and she resented having to shoulder the majority of household tasks (on top of her demanding job). At least we hadn’t yet started to resent each other’s existence.

Today, though, I’d say our relationship is better than it’s been in probably 10 years. Yes, the month we’ve spent in therapy has helped. But the real revelation – the one that has so fundamentally altered my outlook on life – didn’t come from the psychologist’s couch. It came from the internet. Through the happy coincidence of linked web pages, I stumbled upon a concept referred to by many names. For the moment, the name for it I like best is “orgasm denial”.