Lately, I’ve been having conversations with a few people via Bluesky about their inability to achieve erection after long-term denial and chastity. My experience seems to be a little different than theirs.
For me, I can still get hard. I wake up every morning with a stuffed device (and it feels amazing). Also, when I’m turned on sufficiently, I can still fill the cage just fine. So, physiologically, everything still works. But I’ve been told by some guys that they don’t get erections at all. Ever.
What’s different between now and early on when I was locked is that I don’t try to get hard as often, even when I’m stimulated such that I would have popped an unlocked boner or found myself uncomfortably tight in the early days. Browsing visual porn or reading erotica doesn’t elicit much of a reaction. Maybe a pleasant little chubbing. I have to be very turned on to actually strain against my confinement. When I’m getting Belle off or right when she’s coming usually does it. When I’m with Frodo, it can happen, too. So it definitely happens, just not as frequently.
Back when Belle was unlocking me more regularly for sex, she’d give me the key and let me take off whatever I was in prior to getting her off. In those cases, when the contents was out, it’d get plenty hard in advance of what was to come (all too quickly). But, in that same situation (then and now) with no expectation of release, I don’t get hard. Maybe a little. But not always.
I’ve also noticed that when I’m very occasionally out during a shower for maintenance and deep hygiene, it barely reacts. Even as I’m grabbing and pulling it about to get the razor over the bits I usually can’t reach. Nothing. Like there’s some kind of switch that’s set to off. Literally zero reaction. The last time I was in that spot, I thought I couldn’t have made it hard even if I was trying. It just felt so remote and alien.
I know what I’m allowed to do. I know what I have the urge to do. I know that those things rarely align. I don’t want to be bad and the fact that I desire to obey the rules is stronger than the reptile brain part of me that would actually enjoy being hard and jerking it or sticking it in something or someone.
On this week’s Savage Love episode, Dan had a question about hypnotism as a kink and, specifically, if it was bullshit. His guest, Sadie Dingfelder, came on to talk about what the science says. I won’t get into the whole thing (you should listen), but the thing that stuck with me is that the brain is a very powerful thing. With enough work or willingness plus suggestion, our brains can make us feel or forget or engage in things we otherwise would not. I think long term, up to and bordering on permanent chastity, could easily create a similar kind of brain over body outcome. Specifically, we could train ourselves to stop having erections. The part of the brain open to the suggestion could override the bits that control when we got hard-ons in response to stimulation.
I think that can go further, too. I’ve said before how I don’t really feel like I have a penis anymore. How the device is a definite part of me and probably a better representation of my identity than the remote, disconnected from my reality thing that’s inside it. I have been conditioned to believe that (and I really do). I know there’s a penis in there. I still feel occasional, fleeting urges to use it how it was intended to be used. But there’s a block between me and that reality created by constant near-24/7/365 separation from the contents.
There was a time when the idea of being this way — mentally/emotionally modified and conditioned by chastity to lose this thing that many would consider central to the male experience — would have made me very turned on. The device would have been tight as a drum writing these words. Now, nothing. It’s still pretty hot imo tbh — I can feel that — but nothing is stirring.
However, as I said, the plumbing still works. Nocturnal tumescence is completely involuntary and I wake up every morning with it. And since I’ve been locked up quite literally for years and haven’t slept outside a device for the last 725 days, nothing in my experiencing makes me think permanent chastity does lasting physical harm. At least, it does not appear to have done so to me.
If I was suddenly not getting hard at all, I’d go to the doctor because there are other serious conditions that could cause that.