Chastity Nerdery – Page 34

November 2, 2008

Sleeping in chastity

This single biggest thing I’ve had to get used to over the past four days of enforced chastity is sleeping. Thanks to my little acrylic friend, I now know that, due to nocturnal penile tumescence, I achieve three substantial erections over the course of any given night. These aren’t run-of-the-mill erections, either. They’re much harder, stronger, and of greater duration than normal boners and are totally disconnected to what I’m feeling or thinking. So far, they’ve been very regular – one at around 1:30, another at about 3:15, and the last at around 5:00. At those times, three forms of pain awaken me.

My erection’s swelling causes pressure at the base of my shaft which, in turn, causes the cock ring to cut cruelly into me. As I said yesterday, there are two points of irritation forming on my cock and the swelling of my meat against the sharp edges of hard, unyielding acrylic is, I believe, the cause. Why oh why can’t the ring be rounded?
The internal diameter of the tube is smaller than my cock. Therefore, it’s like having a vice on all 3.25″ of my dick that will fit within it. Additionally, there are three vents on either side of the tube near where it locks to the ring. These vents are purportedly there to allow for the circulation of air and to aid cleaning. However, when fully erect, the soft, fleshy tissue within extrudes out of them like Play-Doh. The edges of the acrylic are not sharp, but the constant intense pressure causes the edges to eventually bite. Also, the skin that pokes though is pulled tight and becomes very sensitive.
As my erection lengthens, it pushes at the end of the tube and lifts the entire apparatus away from my body. This has the effect of pulling on my scrotum and causing its skin to be pulled smoothly tight. My testicles, unable to escape through the ring, are forced to the sides of my entrapment and rub, in their hyper-sensitive state, against my inner thighs.

This entire straining package lays throbbing between my legs seemingly all night long. As I shift from side to side, it ponderously flops back and forth. Laying on my back is the best bet, but I can’t sleep that way. I want to be on my sides or stomach. On my sides, it gets crushed between my legs or, if I push it out, pulls down on whichever side is opposite gravity. I can move further around so I’m partially on my stomach, but this ratchets up the sensations as it seems to cause more blood to flow into the area. I can lay fully on my stomach, but that means shoving the package down between my legs causing more constriction and, like before, greater engorgement.

Night before last, as all this was going on during the 5:00 AM shift, Belle turned to me in the bed and meant to place one of her legs between mine (entwining them as any loving couple might over the course of the night). Unfortunately, her knee came in a little too aggressively and collided against all the tight, constrained, and otherwise tortured flesh. I saw stars in the pitch black of our room. Oddly enough though, after the initial shock of impact, I felt myself enjoying the afterglow of pain.

And that’s the root of my new found observation. As I briefly mentioned yesterday, because Belle is forcing me to wear the device this time, I find myself actually looking forward to the pain. I like it when Belle inflicts pain on me during our lovemaking and, since I’m in chastity at her direction, it is, in essence, a form of lovemaking (at least in my twisted and hormone-fevered brain). The device is the physical manifestation of her control over me, so when I wake up in the middle of the night in pain, she’s giving it to me. It hurts, yes. Hurts a lot. But I’m starting to appreciate it. God help me, I’m starting to really enjoy it.

November 1, 2008

Random thoughts on the CB-6000

Last time I wore the CB-6000, it was only for two days. This time, I’ve already gone 50% longer (do the math). Hardly a long term incarceration, but enough time to come up with some observations.

Going to the bathroom goes from a simple, quick act to a protracted operation. First, grab the Q-Tips. Second, sit down (grrr). Third, attempt to align penis slit with opening in tube. Fourth, pee. Sometimes, the stream is not strong since the device is somehow constricting the flow. At best, you have a 50-50 chance of starting a healthy, unimpeded stream. Otherwise, it’s spraying around and probably getting all over the inside of the tube, on your inner thigh, etc. Fifth, use Q-Tips to absorb as much moisture as possible inside the tube. Don’t forget to flush (at least leaving the lid up isn’t an issue).
It’s impossible to stop thinking about your cock when it’s locked up. From being awakened several times a night by nocturnal erections that will not go away, to constantly having to adjust the position of everything while sitting or driving, to simply feeling the weight of the device on your unit as you walk around, there just isn’t a time that my dick and its condition isn’t top of mind. This, I believe, is what’s known as irony. My cock gets locked up to make it a useless tube of meat and, in the process, it becomes the single most important thing in my world.
The ring is really starting to cause me some pain. I’m currently in the 1 7/8″ size and, even though I’m using May’s advice, I’m still seeing quite a bit of irritation just to the left and right of the base of my cock (about where my scrotum meets the sides of my shaft). I have been shaving in that area, so that may be contributory. I think the hard edge of the ring is to blame, though. I spent, like, 20 minutes today daydreaming how I could make the ring rounded.
Working out is not possible. I use an ellipse machine to exercise and found today that I was experiencing some testicular pain after about 10-15 minutes of moderate activity. This sucks. Everything I had read about this on other blogs was to the contrary.
Interestingly, now that I’m wearing the device because Belle is making me, all this doesn’t bother me as much as it did when I was wearing it just because. Even the nocturnal pain feels more sensual (or something) since it’s cause by something she ordered me to do. Weird.

Starting the third night in about 15 minutes. We’ll see how I feel about it in the morning…

October 31, 2008

Back in the box

Wednesday night, Belle was out of town. Before she left, she agreed to allow me to pleasure myself in her absence as long as I did not achieve orgasm. I have found that I need an outlet for my sexual tension when I can’t focus on her and dry masturbation seemed to help. Also, before she left, she agreed to leave our toy box unlocked as I wanted to play around with some of our new items (I called it “research”).

Earlier in the day, on my way back to the office following a client meeting, I found myself back at the house with thoughts of that unlocked box dancing in my head. I hurried into our bedroom, stripped, and brought out the Aneros. It had been about five days since my last orgasm and I wanted to see if I could milk myself.

My first impression of the Aneros was that it was very small. That was disappointing. As I’ve mentioned previously, I’m an old hand at putting things up my ass and have always been something of a size queen. The Aneros is positively dainty in comparison to some of the things I’ve gotten up there. What I found, though, is that size really doesn’t matter. A couple of drops of JO lube later, and it slid in so easily I almost didn’t feel it. Once in place though, I immediately appreciated its cunningly devised shape. After about 10 or 15 minutes of direct prostate massage combined with a moderate amount of stroking, I experienced my first non-orgasmic emission. It just sort of poured out in a rather lazy fashion and pooled next to my belly button. It was ejaculation without the jack. Since it was a new sensation attached to my dick, I have to say I enjoyed it, but it wasn’t anything like cumming. Afterward, I was still totally aroused, and in fact, remained in a heightened state of arousal for the remainder of the day. There was no post-orgasmic high. No drowsiness. No contentedness. My brain was still buzzing with sexual activity.

Which was probably why I screwed up that night. After all the kids were in bed and asleep, I wanted to repeat the milking experience. I wasn’t sure it was possible since my understanding of how it worked was that there had to be ejaculate backed-up and waiting behind the prostate, but I was horny as hell and couldn’t imagine it would hurt anything to try again. This time, it didn’t even take ten minutes. Either I found the fucking spot on my gland or it was extra sensitive from the earlier session, but the intensity of the feelings washing over me was like nothing I’ve ever felt before. Next thing I knew, and with little manual stimulation, the semen was leaking out again. Still not flying out like a normal orgasm, but with more vigor than the first time. In fact, it wasn’t so much the way it came out but how it felt inside that told me I had cum. As soon as I realized it was happening, I tried to stop it, but it was too late. It wasn’t an especially good orgasm, but an orgasm it was. I had broken my promise to Belle. I felt terrible.

Not only had I cum without permission, but I did it after she gave me permission to masturbate. It was just about the worst thing I could do. However, I also knew she would not appreciate the seriousness of the infraction. I could have told her and experienced no repercussions. But, in the twisted way my mind’s working, I wanted her to punish me. I needed to pay for cumming. Even though I’m no big fan of the CB6K, I knew that I needed to put it on. And not just for two days this time. I came without permission. I needed to do some hard time (so to speak).

If we have any issues in our relationship right now, they’re mainly centered around me needing her to be a strong, dominate female and her resistance to doing it naturally. She just doesn’t feel it. I want to be beat up, tortured, teased, and denied and she just wants to snuggle. Don’t get me wrong, I love snuggling (in fact, her absent-minded stroking of my armpit hair while we’re holding each other is one of my favorite sensations). But sometimes, and especially now since its all so new, I want her to domme it up a bit. I have a feeling it will come – that we’ll eventually meet half-way – but it’s going to take time. I’ll go vanilla for her when she wants me to and she’ll tie me up and spank me every so often. But for the moment, it’s somewhat awkward. Case in point…

I spilled the beans to her when she got home the next day. I told her I proactively locked myself up (though she admitted that she wouldn’t have thought of that). I told her she needed to decide for how long I was to be incarcerated and that she should not let my whining and complaining about it affect her decision. I needed to be locked up and denied for a long time. I should never, ever want to cum outside her company ever again. Yes, I do get off on this treatment, but I really do hate the fucking CB6K. Really. She needs show me who’s boss and to use the CB6K as her enforcement tool – the physical manifestation of her absolute control over my sexual pleasure. Hopefully someday, I won’t need to coach her on this and it’ll all just come to her naturally. When it does – when I fear her reaction to cumming at the wrong time or without her permission – then I’ll really be happy.

October 22, 2008

Different, not better

Day two in the cage. This morning, Belle supervised as I dismantled the little acrylic torture chamber in order to put on the 2″ ring (which, by the way, is too big – makes the thing much less secure). The relief once it was off was palpable. I had mentioned to her less than 10 minutes before that I wanted to move up a size and that I needed her to unlock me. As soon as I realized I was going to be released, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I kept going back to her until she agreed to go into the bathroom with me and do it. I was like a little kid or a puppy or something. I had to get out of it.

She washed the tube while I reassembled the bits and pieces. As soon as I started to slide the lubed cage back over my cock, I felt the elation leak out of me. I think I even whimpered a little. When she snapped the lock, something snapped in me, too. Not “snapped” like a postal worker. Maybe “clicked” is a better word. Anyway, I suddenly felt very much kept. Locked up basically against my will since I really didn’t want to get back in there. But, a deal’s a deal. I gave her the power and she’s using it. I felt very different than before it arrived when she was denying me release. Then, I was looking for more stimulation – more access to her in order to get that. This time, I felt owned by her.

After the relocking was done, I followed her around from room to room, kissed her a lot, and (apparently) gave her funny looks. Now I realize that I’m not just being denied orgasm, but her touch as well. She likes to lay in bed and basically pet my cock. She’s been doing the same thing since I got locked up, but of course, now I can’t feel it. The only sensation I get from my cock now is negative (pressure, tightness, pain). I feel so much more dependent on her than before. I am starting to feel like I’m her prisoner. It is effecting me emotionally and mentally.

Mind you, I’m not saying I want to stop. I really want to continue to experiment with the device. However, at this time, I can’t say I want chastity to be a huge part of our sexual lifestyle – more like a side dish rather than an entree. I love that she controls it. I love that I have no power over its use. It is a huge turn-on. Beyond that, though, I’m not sure I love how it makes me feel.

October 21, 2008

Irresistible force

The biggest surprise so far with the CB6K is that, in fact, it does not stop erections. Just like Christmas morning the night after the Grinch steals all the Who-gifts, somehow or other, I get hard just the same. Unfortunately, the strength of my erection doesn’t break the box it’s in quite as easily as the Grinch’s heart did when it grew from four sizes too small. It’s more like when he gets caught going down the chimney. Yeah, OK, enough Dr. Suess metaphors.

I guess I thought the erection would start, see that it didn’t have room, shrug its shoulders, and then go back into his hole. Turns out it doesn’t have shoulders (D’OH!). It just keeps on truckin‘ and ends up backing up into my body and pressing the CB6K’s ring into the underside of my balls. Ouch. I’m going to try moving to the 2″ ring tonight, but don’t have much hope that it’ll make a difference.

Belle leaves town on Thursday for four days. She says she knows if I’ll be locked up while she’s gone, but she’s not willing to tell me my fate…

October 21, 2008

The Eagle has landed

Belle picked me up at the airport yesterday afternoon and had the CB6K with her. It was smaller than she had expected, but actually a little bigger than I had thought it would be (maybe a good thing). It’s exactly what all the pictures of it look like on the internet, so very little surprise out of the box. She said she’d put me in it that night since I wasn’t in the proper condition at that moment anyway and she wasn’t feeling all that well (which is why she was home yesterday and able to come get me).

We got home and, sickness be damned, were all over each other. Pretty soon we were naked and I was sending her into orgasm with a combination of my fingers and mouth (there’s nothing better than directly feeling her orgasms with my tongue). Then, because she’s sweet and probably a little too indulgent, she said I’d needed to fuck her and come if I wanted to be able to put the device on before we went to pick up the kids. It had only been since Wednesday with no teasing in between, but it was a fucking amazing release anyway.

I started with the 2 inch ring and the second to smallest spacer. We applied JO lube and did our best to pack my sausage into its new home. I was immediately able to pull it off. I moved to the 1 7/8″ ring and the smallest spacer. After two or three painful pinches getting it assembled, it was more secure, but I’m still pretty sure I could pull out if I wanted to. Also, the friggin‘ ring is tight. Not sure how much of this is par for the course and how much is just ill-fitting, but away we went to pick up the kiddies and head out for dinner.

I definitely knew it was there the entire time. While driving, the CB6K had nowhere to go but down my left leg making me look like I’m either very well hung or very aroused. By the time we had both the kids and were at the restaurant, I was feeling some pretty intense pinching. Once home, I found a bunch of scrotum skin bunched up and pinched between the cage and the ring. Pulled that back through the ring and, using a Q-tip, shoved my winky more fully into the cage and felt better. Then I had to pee.

OK, this I’m not thrilled about. There’s something about a strong, heavy stream of hot piss plunging into a toilet bowl that says – loudly and proudly – “guy”. Pissing through the end of the cage slows and disrupts the stream so it comes trickling out. Standing is, of course, out of the question. Sitting, it sounds to all the world like the tinkling of a little girl. Grrr. It accentuates my imprisonment and Belle’s ownership of my manhood in an unexpected way. While it makes this simple act much more complicated and somewhat humiliating, I also have to admit to being aroused by it.

We eventually went to bed with the idea that we’d just snuggle and watch TV, but I wasn’t much interested in just snuggling and was shortly pleasuring her with my fingers while sucking on her right nipple. After her second orgasm of the day, it was time for sleep. She gently stroked my forehead trying to bring me down off my hormonal surge (I said she was sweet) and we fell into sleep with her in my arms. Bliss.

About 90 minutes later, I was awake and on fire. The ring was incredibly tight and burned around the root of my unit while my cock felt numb. I went into the bathroom hoping to find my junk turning blue so I’d have an excuse to take the damned device off, but no dice. All was pink and normal, though very constrained. My hard-on had filled every tiny space inside the cage and the tip of my penis was pressing against the slit on the end of the tube. It wasn’t numb, it was just sensory deprived. I had the sensation of my dick being transported away from my body and held somewhere dark and tight, though I could still feel it. Weird.

After a few cycles of falling back to sleep only to be awakened by my little prisoner’s anguish, I rolled over and put my arm over Belle. She woke up a little and asked how I was sleeping. I asked what would happen if I said I wasn’t, and she said nothing would happen, that she was just curious. Nice. So much for all that shit about her being sweet.