Popular culture

Three things before I depart for the Great Western Mountains.

The Advocate has an article on a new book detailing Mick Jagger’s sexcapades:

Legendary Rolling Stones frontman Mick Jagger has long been regarded as a notorious ladies man, but a new biography claims he’s also been intimate with late bandmate Brian Jones, David Bowie, Rudolf Nureyev, and, excuse us, Eric Clapton, as well as an attempted tryst with Geraldo Rivera.

First off, this is a surprise to who, exactly? Mick is the consummate bisexual and I thought everyone in the world knew it. I admit, though, that the Geraldo thing totally squicked me out.

Jagger and late legendary ballet dancer Nureyev  “playfully trapping journalist Geraldo Rivera in the middle of a sexual sandwich at a party;” Rivera claims that this was Mick’s serious attempt to seduce him.

Oh, I see. Mick and stone cold fox Nureyev decide to have a little fun pulling the pompous straight dude’s chain and suddenly he thinks he’s a genuine target of their affection. Don’t get me wrong, Gerlado was a good looking dude in his youth, but I suspect he was always a bit of a prick.

Then, on the Facebook, Start Trek: The Next Generation (who I follow because I’m a nerd) asked, “Which Star Trek: The Next Generation character did you have a crush on?” And I thought about it. For a second I almost said Picard what with his calm commanding demeanor and fantastic flute talents. Make it so, indeed. But then I decided it was, of course, Worf.

Klingons, it turns out, like it rough. Biting is a prominent feature of their mating rituals and that weird chair thing in his quarters was an obvious BDSM prop. Of course, I’m talking about Worf from later seasons when he let his hair grow out and had that Samuari thing going on. Not first season Worf. Too skinny. Too “dead crab on the forehead” for me.

Thinking about it, ST:TNG didn’t have many really sexual female characters. Not like the original series, anyway. Uhura? Oh hell yes. Hail me, baby. Dr. Crusher? No thank you. Actually, I just remembered that episode when Beverly goes back for her grandmother’s funeral and lays on the whole Scottish lass thing and gets telepathic orgasms from a sexy entity who lives in a candle. So OK, maybe Crusher, though her whole “mom vibe” is still pretty strong. Diana? Please. Too touchy-feely. And those creepy black eyes. Shudder. Also, her and Worf. I’m jealous.

Thinking about it even more, am I the only guy who wondered if the holodeck had a lock on the door? Because I’d be running all kinds of personal programs in there in my off-dudy hours. I’d be staggering out all bruised and sweaty. Honestly, I’m surprised they ever got anything else done. Like all other cool technology, I assume the holodeck was invented by the porn industry.

Finally, of course, there’s Anderson Cooper. Turns out he’s gay. Shocking, I know, but I have a long standing and well known thing for the steely eyed elfin newsman. It’s nice to see I can put him on my celebrity fantasy list along with Zachary Quinto and Doogie Howser. And Mick Jagger, I guess. 1968 Mick, that is. I know it’s a fantasy list so I should be able to put anybody I want on it, but I like to keep it minimally plausible. So yeah, 1968 Mick.