A couple of unrelated things

First thing…

I had a weird dream last night. I don’t often have sexual dreams, even in my denied state, but this one was. I was at some office or meeting place or something with this other guy. I knew who he was (we had come together) but he wasn’t anyone I know in real life. The people we were there to meet never showed up or were late or something and next thing I knew he was unzipping his pants and shoving my face into his crotch. This didn’t seem strange to me in the dream but I know it wasn’t a common occurrence in the dream world since I was pleasantly surprised to find his dick was on the large side. After I started sucking him off, I found myself naked but never actually got undressed (you know how it is in dreams). The dude I was blowing was fully clothed which had me in that awkward spot of being the only locked-up naked dude giving blow jobs in the conference room (not again) and, of course, the door was open. I think I saw a secretary or something sitting outside in plain view of what was going on. He kept trying to reach down and grab the penis on me but it was locked (in a CB-6000, oddly) and I was trying to hide that fact and keep him from finding it out, but he eventually did get his hand on it. I could feel the heat on my face as I blushed but I kept sucking him. He didn’t say anything. Somehow, I knew he expected to find it that way. Then he started to shoot his load with his cock shoved deep down my throat so that I swallowed it all but didn’t get to taste any of it, but my gag reflex must not exist in dream world since there was none of that. And then the dream ended.

Second thing…

I was in the gym with the trainer dude the other morning and he was having me do bench presses on the Smith Machine, but these weren’t normal presses. He wanted me to push the bar off my chest and toss it up away from myself and catch it on the way down (on a Smith, the bar is on rails so it wouldn’t have gone flying across the room or anything). I had never done this before and while it seemed perfectly safe, I put the safety stops up so that on the odd chance I missed or couldn’t hold the bar, it wouldn’t land on my chest and crush my ribcage. That’d suck.

Anyway, the thing about weight training with another guy is whenever you do something like that, you get shit for it. Like how I wear gloves to work out in because I don’t have nasty callouses on my hands or put the pad on the bar when I do squats so it doesn’t press directly onto my spine. But, you know. It’s all in good fun. Or something.

So yeah, I put the stop in and the trainer dude gives me shit. Something like, “Oh, you need some protection or something? Is that like your chastity device?”

I shit you not. He says this (or something very close to it). And I think a couple of things at once. First, what the fuck sense does that make? How do you go from the built-in safety feature on a weight machine to a chastity device? Second, even with my odd bulges and weird muffled clanking, he’s obviously not ever caught on because then he said…

“You know what a chastity device is, don’t you? You know what it’s used for?” in a tone like he’s telling me some kind of clever dirty joke or something.

“Yeah, I got a pretty good idea what it is.”

You might think that was some kind of passive-aggressive way of him saying to me he had caught on at some point, but trust me, he hasn’t. No clue.

In any event, I did the weird presses just fine. No crushed bones or anything.

A dream

I had this dream last night…

In the middle of the night, Belle and I are in bed, and the doorbell rings. She comes back to the room and sleepily tells me the hooker she got for me has arrived. I get up, as if this is normal, to greet the hooker out in the living room. It was our house, but not our house, in only the way it can/can’t be in a dream. So I start chatting the hooker up, feeling pretty good about Belle letting me have her but wondering what I’m supposed to do with her since I’m locked up. I can’t remember what she looked like, but she was young and had sandy blond hair. I wanted to get her clothes off and, at various times, they were, but then not again. The entire time I’m doing this, the hooker just won’t shut up. She keeps talking and showing me pictures of herself in yearbooks and pornos she made on the internet, etc. Eventually, we find ourselves in the kitchen of my mother-in-law’s house (but, you know, not my mother-in-law’s house). Somehow I’m not real clear on, I find myself behind the hooker and feeling her nipples by reaching around. They’re really small. Like, freakishly small. But very hard. I decide it’s time to get to business since it seems like we’ve been beating around the bush (so to speak) for hours. I go back to the guest bedroom where Belle is and tell her to go to her bed and that I’ll take the hooker in the guest room (seems the only gentlemanly thing to do). She groggily gets up an goes to the other room. I think to ask her to remove the device so I can, you know, do something, but before the words come out, I find the brass lock on the Steelheart in four pieces in my hand. It’s somehow broken (at least the third dream where the device I’m wearing breaks). I take the device off and put it next to Belle in bed, who by this time has fallen back asleep. Like she doesn’t care one way or the other what I do with the hooker. So I go back to find the hooker in the living room and she’s trying to show me another video she made and I suggest we go back to the bed. I start to walk down my mother-in-law’s (but not) hallway and it just goes on and on and on with twists and turns and it’s all dark and crowded with big dressers and bureaus and giant oak coat racks and stuff way too big for a hallway. I get to the room, which has the only lit lamp in the place, and find the fucking hooker’s not with me so I go back and find her somewhere in the hall, still talking about whatever the fuck she’s been talking about the whole time. I get her into bed (wondering, frankly, if Belle’s paying her by the hour or by the fuck) and try to get her to focus on her damned job for just a second. All I need is one second. Somehow, it seems like something’s about to happen, but she’s still not focusing on her task, and I’m starting to get hard. I’m crawling on top or behind or somewhere and I feel the erection and it’s starting to get heavy and hurt. I’m just about to actually, finally, slip it in when…

The pain from maybe the most intense erection I’ve had in the Steelheart wakes me up. I’m laying next to Belle, arm up her shirt against the skin of her back, leg thrown over hers, and hornier than I’ve felt in a really long time.

Fucking dreams.