Active denial

Can’t sleep. Gee, wonder why. Maybe it’s because I sat in my room for hours looking at and reading porn without the ability to do anything about it. *sigh*

How’s it going in there, little dude? Cramped? No answer.

Anyway, since I’m not going to be sleeping any time soon, I thought I’d take a moment to define a term I’ve used several times here and with Belle. A term I’ve defined for her in person, but never in writing (at least, I don’t think I have).

To me, “active denial” is when she’s not letting me come but is doing all she reasonably can to ensure I’m as horny as possible as often as possible. This can be accomplished in several ways. If I’m really around the bend, simply letting me rub her feet can do it. Obviously, any time she lets me sexually pleasure her does the trick. Giving me a list of tasks to perform while she watches with her glass of wine on the couch can be good, too. These are the sort of “passive” ways she can actively deny me. The other ways would be to touch, tease, torture, or otherwise abuse my body. These can be doubled up like when she rides her cock to orgasm but doesn’t let me follow. That’s a twofer since I know how much she likes her cock and I get to feel her climax with my whole body, but I’m left hard and wanting when it’s over. In fact, any time I get to curl into her at bedtime with a hard, fat erection while she drifts off to sleep is good stuff. The other thing she can do to “actively” deny me is to simply talk to me. To tell me things like how horny I must be and how unfortunate it is that nothing’s going to be done about that. Or how hot it makes her seeing me perform household tasks driven by my deprived state’s desire to make her happy.

It does seem to be something of an oxymoron (how can you actively not do something?), but to me, it’s the opposite of just denying me access to any kind of sexual engagement. Locking me up and then not keeping me on edge and horny would be cruel. Locking me up while keeping the arousal stoked and glowing is the nicest thing she could ever do for me and makes being locked up not just bearable, but also enjoyable.

Well, that didn’t eat up as much time as I thought it would. Damn.

Both sides

A cool post over on Outside Vanilla that is rare in that it contains both sides of the conversation. The original post, by MyKey (the denied dude), and a comment by who I can only assume is his female dominant, Sandy.

From MyKey:

If I didnt *really* enjoy it on some level she would not be doing it this way. But she knows full well that its a love hate thing, I do want to cum, I do hate the riding crop, and yet she will push these things further than I would go, for her own enjoyment. And that makes it so much hotter for me, her kink feeds my kink, her dominance feeds my submission…

And from Sandy:

It’s just so much fun, but it really is that much fun because of the feedback and connection it gives us. I’m not sure if this part of me is here to stay, but I already know it would be very difficult to go back to a more equal relationship.

Go read the whole post. Not only is it cool to see both sides of the coin, it’s also more than a little hot.

Hair

poster2One of the things that bugs me about the CB-6000 is the joints between the ring parts and how they very neatly grab and pull pubic hair. I find myself sitting a lot in my job and, depending on how tight my underwear or pants are, my pubes will get caught and pulled hard enough to hurt like fuck but not hard enough to actually pull them out (which is good, I guess).

Debate on this subject is varied. Maymay says trim, don’t shave. I’ve also read on Aarkey’s FAQ that some prefer to keep it long. I can’t stand long, untrimmed pubes, so that’s out. Normally, I keep them about as long as Maymay suggests (around a centimeter), but that’s how I’m also finding myself getting caught. So, for this stint in the device, I decided to NOT follow Maymay’s advice and try a method I’ve seen a few men use via their obligatory online chastity shots.1

Basically, what I’ve done is shave an area about an inch wide all the way around the ring of the CB6K. I didn’t really start out going for an inch, but I kept trying to make it even and eventually just found myself there (yet another piece of advice from Seinfeld that I ignored). After a whole day in grown-up pants and my tightest underwear, I can report that I had NO discomfort around the top part of the ring at all. Normally, I’d be pretty sore up there and even red and irritated, but not today. Smooth as a baby’s butt and no pulling. I’ll have to see how it goes as it starts to grow out. Maymay warns of irritation as the ring interacts with the new hair and the shaving necessary to maintain it. If it all goes horribly wrong, I’ll come back here and tell you all about it.

Regardless, I’m not letting my pubes get bushy, I don’t care how bad it hurts when packing the plastic.

1 BTW, WTF is up with that? Does every guy in chastity think I or anyone wants to see yet another goddamned schlong locked up in a CB-x000? Seriously, the web is littered with these things. If you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all (but I do award bonus points for the guys in pink lacy underwear, stockings, or any type of French maid’s dress). And, oh by the way, I see one every fucking day on me. And yeah, I know, I use a variation on the theme up there in this site’s header, but the composition is very different. Personally, I’d much rather see guys in full belts or steel trapped-ball devices or anything exotic and stainless over one more pink sausage squished into a polycarbonate tube. Then again, had they not posted those shots I’d never had seen their hair management technique. So yeah, OK. Shutting up.