A gentleman caller

Remember how, at the beginning of the year, Belle gave me permission to find a guy who’d fuck me? And how I immediately reached out to an ex-boyfriend in a rather insensitive way? And how that led me to create a CollarMe profile that’s been pretty much totally ignored by the whole world? Yeah, that.

Belle said something to the effect that I might engage in some kind of activity while she was gone on her trip and I was all like, “Yeah right, honey.” I even commented in my last post that since “no real men have raised their hands for the job [of fucking me] I’m left to my own devices.”

Funny thing.

After I wrote that, a guy who reached out to me on Tumblr said…

Saw your post on DT this morning lamenting the fact that no “real men” had stepped up for your ass pounding, I mean prostate milking and I said to myself, well, first you have to meet one who might be willing to help you out. Wink, wink 😉

And even I’m not so dense that the message didn’t finally connect.

So he and I went out on a little date Wednesday afternoon to a local establishment. Well, date, I dunno. Two people met in a bar-like environment so I guess that’s a date. I will admit to being very nervous. I haven’t been in this situation in, oh I don’t know, like twenty years? And the fact that this was such a specific meeting with such a specific assumed objective (eventually — I may be a slut but I’m not easy) was a new experience for me.

I delayed finishing this post because I was waiting to be able to talk to Belle about it before hand. Since this is the first time the possibility of taking advantage of her permission has presented itself, I want to make sure she’s OK and still feeling comfortable with everything before it goes too far too fast. I texted the basic situation to her and waited for the conversation to happen. Turns out, she was waiting to read my post before talking to me, so here we are.

His name, I don’t think will intrude too much on his privacy in saying, is Michael. A little older than me. Also a transplant to this part of the country, though for not nearly as long as I’ve been. He’s originally from the more genteel climes of the Southeastern United States. His relationship status is complicated, but he is married to a woman. He likes to call himself heteroflexible which is as good as anything, I suppose. He hasn’t been with another man in quite some time. In fact, I’ve probably had naked fun time with a guy since the last time he has.

He’s very nice and complimentary and flattering of me. I will admit to liking that. It’s been quite some time since I was pursued like that. Of course, since he’s a guy, I can see right through his routine. He’s is trying to get into my pants, after all. But still. It’s nice.

We have another appointment next week, also in the afternoon since that’s most convenient to me as a single parent and all. No idea what’s on the agenda, but I wasn’t born yesterday. I suppose we should be more clear about that of only for logistical reasons. And, of course and most importantly, this has to remain comfortable for Belle. She should know (and now she does since I’m writing this) that she can pull the cord on the entire thing if it’s too much for her. There will be no resentment from me. The last thing in the world I want is for her to be unhappy or in any way put off by what I do on the side.

Assuming I continue to get the green light, there’s also the question of how much I can share here. She originally said she didn’t want to hear about what I do but I have this blog and it’s where I like to tell all my dirty secrets. So could I do that? Or no? Again, I want to be crystal clear so as to avoid hurting her in the slightest.

So, to summarize. Nervous, excited, cautious. Among other things. We’ll see.

15 thoughts on “A gentleman caller

  1. Hmmm. He sounds pretty interesting. And to say he’s flattering and complimentary are nice things as you indicate. But, is he handsome? I mean could you see yourself getting naked with this dude? Does he excite or the idea of it, at least, cause a stirring within your constrictive stainless steel? I mean, come on man 😉 Where’s the sizzle?

  2. His relationship status, complicated but married would make me pause. After a long time of not having this type of connection with another male for both of you, what about your own emotions or his emotions, could they get in the way?
    I know for myself I straddle a line of being a very traditional person to some degree in beliefs like being married I actually like the boring parts of marriage, the day in and out things, the growing old with someone but I am also open minded. I never see where introducing a third person is good for that, the possibility of someone having feelings that might confuse the situation.
    If it was just about the sex, and can be compartmentalized but I don’t know. I think sometimes in situations fantasies need to remain just that.
    Belle wants you happy, says she doesn’t want to know. I cant speak for her but for me I think it would irrevocably change something if this is pursued, a type of trust and faith of those rose colored glasses we have to have on for us to love past our partners less admirable qualities.

    1. I can’t speak to his emotions. The best I can do is be as up front as possible so he understands my priorities and expectations as clearly as possible. Regarding my emotions, I’m not too worried. My experience with other men tells me I can develop affection for them but not love. Not like I feel for Belle. I don’t think I’m capable of it.

      Regarding the benefits of being married, I like them, too. I don’t see where anything I’ve said or suggested would make anyone think I want to change my marriage in any way. These things are not mutually exclusive. There’s love and sex and then there’s just sex.

      I’ve read your last paragraph about trust and faith several times and have no idea what you’re trying to say with it.

    2. Also, when I said his relationship was complicated, I wasn’t repeating his vague description. He gave me details. I’m merely being discreet since this isn’t a blog about his relationship, it’s a blog about mine.

      1. I dont want you to think I am judging this but was trying to figure out if this was presented to me what I would think as a woman, as the dominant in the relationship.
        I am not involved in a BDSM life, but a traditional type of relationship with a dominate aspect to it. One of the reasons My relationship evolved into that was because a natural propensity for it to begin with, in how I relate to men and people in general.
        The part about the rose colored glasses, is that ability to see my partner in ways that only I see them, look past the annoying things that we do to maintain long term relationships, not just sex.
        So I want you to know this was merely about thought exploration from a female more than a judgment call.

      2. It wasn’t presented to her. She gave me permission. I told her that I really wanted to have a certain kind of sex and asked if she’d give it to me. She said no and said I could get it elsewhere.

        And she does have the dominant role in our dynamic, but I don’t think her motivation for letting me do this has a lot to do with that (except that she gets to set the requirement that I remain locked up no matter what).

        And understand this isn’t just about generic sex. This is about a very specific kind that I crave and can’t get in my relationship (and the way we can simulate it is something she doesn’t want to do).

  3. Sandy gave me a very similar option. To play with another woman in my dominant capacity. She also didn’t want details, and like you I took it slow.

    I don’t do it often but sometimes I have, and in no way has it affected our marriage. Neither good now bad. It’s purely on the side and doesn’t bother her, nor pleasure her. Except insofar as she knows I’m happy.

    So keep it reasonable and don’t worry about negative consequences, you don’t strike me as the fall in love and run away together while fucking up your whole life kinda guy 🙂

      1. I dont see you as running away but I would wonder if it would confuse things as to how you relate your submissiveness to your partner.

      2. I *am* submissive. It’s not a role I play. I can’t imagine how it would leave me feeling confused. I expect I’ll tend towards similar behavior no matter who I’m with.

        It’s perfectly fine if your relationship paradigm has no room for flexibility and exploration, but yours is not the only one.

  4. First off it’s not my intention to hurt any one’s feelings, this is a vulnerable thing to share and I appreciate your blog.

    I am female; I am not in any type of BDSM lifestyle, to each his own but other than maybe some toys would not find anything I want there. I am in a relationship where this was brought to me to pursue a relationship that was female led, with a man who is a very successful, dominant male outside the home. He is successful in my home as well for other reasons. My dominance was a natural progression; I have a take charge personality. I found it to be a compliment. The power at first was a bit of a high however awkwardly wielded but I really saw and see this as a very loving exchange.

    This has been lightly broached within my relationship. When you wrote about this subject I thought about how would I handle that?

    I will tell you my thought process from my dominant mindset. He is mine. I am not jealous per se, he is very charming and I don’t care if he flirts but I would not want him to pursue anything beyond that. For varied reasons, first is his safety, I would worry when he would be vulnerable in a strangers care. Another is his body has been tailored to what I want, I wouldn’t want a challenge in his mind as to what that is if he pursued something long term with someone , on the side. I would also wonder if he has gotten too much time on his hands literally, is he trying to make some of his ideas, vividly 3-D. I would question have I been neglectful? My job is stressful and he gets pushed to the side at times, do I need to sit down with him and reconfigure his schedule so he has less time to devote to what he thinks he needs as opposed to where I feel he should direct his energy?

    Mine is a bit of a lippy argue-er but very devoted. He might say he wants something like this but I think after the initial rush of the newness of it in his life, he would crash emotionally. His devotion to who he is, the people and pursuits in his life is very deep. I think it would be an issue, especially if the other person brought in wasn’t as thoughtful with him as I am.

    Now granted that’s us, not you and Belle.

  5. sounds like you are going to get banged my friend! My goodness, how wonderful for you. If he is turned on by your submissiveness, do start by kissing his toes, and gently working your way up the inner thighs. And not to rush it.

    And do clean yourself inside before you see him….you know how to do that right?

    Anyway, after you reach his cock, take his balls in your mouth…hopefully that slightly fish smell of sex is there….such a turn on. And slowly, kiss his cock, but then go away from it a bit…back to inner thighs, the tummy area too…stroking the skin of his outer thighs….he should be starting to rise now. If he isn’t don’t panic….if he is older he may not be able to get it up that easily…and he could get nervous.

    Then take the half-erect cock in your mouth….no teeth remember. It is such a beautiful thing to suck a cock. Up and along the back of your mouth, towards your throat. God I am getting hard just writing about it. Remember you will need gel in your butt….and it is easier at first for you to be taken doggie style. Relax….feel him fill you….ask him to be gentle. Then he can slowly start to fuck you. If you feel it start to hurt, remember to relax, to try to draw him into you…to truly submit to him. Do tell. x

  6. Certainly don’t want to interfere with the Belle/Thumper dynamic, and you have provided this obscure reader demographic with more insights and thoughtful blogging than we certainly deserve. But there are loyal readers who are greatly intrigued by this turn of events. At the very least, your wandering phase where you searched for new blog material is probably past. I believe you may have discovered an entirely new vein of future Thumper blogging. Good luck with your choices!

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