After we got back from Hawaii, Belle and I headed to the store to restock the fridge we emptied out before we left. Along the way, we listened to episode 478 of Dan Savage’s Savage Love Cast (Magnum edition, natch). In it, the term “GGG” was mentioned. Belle had forgotten what that meant.

GGG stands for good, giving, and game. As in, good in bed (or striving to be as good as you can), giving “equal time to equal pleasure” (i.e., give as good as you take, give your partner as much pleasure as they give you), and game for anything your partner wants to do (within reason). If you’re GGG, you’re doing it right. If you’re not, you’re not.

Belle said she didn’t think she was very GGG with me. No, seriously. She said that. And apparently not in jest.

I think Belle’s the exemplar of GGG. She knew when she married me that I wasn’t like the average bear, sex-wise. But she had no idea where we’d end up. She couldn’t have since I really didn’t, either. But she’s more than rolled with it. At the start, she seemed as though she was humoring my kinks more than actually participating, but she’s evolved right along side me in her own way and has interegrated the expression of her sexuality into how I need to express mine. Rarely has she ever made me feel anything but loved and accepted.

Beyond that, she’s allowed our relationship to open up in a way that lets me seek out the kind of sex I can’t get from her, both with a man and sex that includes the kind of optional add-ons I like and she’s not really into, even if that’s with another woman. I mean, come on. GGG to the max.

But in her mind, since she’s not into some stuff and doesn’t indulge my desires (like being tied up and beaten, for example), she’s not GGG. She even said something to that effect. “There’s things you want that I won’t give you.” But that’s not GGG.

Being GGG does not mean doing any and every thing your partner desires. It means being willing to do those things they’re into, even if you’re not especially, because they’re into them. That’s the third G. Game. But it may be the case that you can’t be enough into them to do them correctly or with the proper technique. In my estimation, Belle is all the Gs rolled up in one package even if she doesn’t tie me up and slap me around, etc.

I said that to her. I also said there were maybe a couple thousand guys on the internet who would love to have a wife as non-GGG as mine. Which is to say, I’m a lucky bitch and I know it and so should she.

3 thoughts on “GGG

  1. Yep, you’re a lucky bitch but so is she. Despite your various kinks and fetishes, you are still turned on by her and are ready, willing, and able to have straight sex with her on demand, right? I think that Sub-Med has developed what Dan Savage used to call “death-grip syndrome” where he’s gotten so conditioned to getting off in a particular way, he can’t do anything else. Then when an actual real life woman came along (me) who is both hot (if I do say so myself, and I do) and GGG, and he has to realize that real life is not like a porno. I tried locking him up, which was actually his idea at first, and I though that would be the perfect way to build his sexual desire and channel it towards me now, but we haven’t found a comfortable device yet, or I have too low a threshold for his whining about chafing and irritation. And we’ve tried the various pills with little success, so the ED also limits the possibility of PIV too, not that it’s a priority for me, but it would be my fantasy every now and then. So I’ve started a blog because I really want to put this out there and work through my feelings, and get feedback from people who have been through this. If he needs to tell me he’s just not that into me, then I need to give him the courage to do that, or accept a relationship on different terms than I had been conditioned to expect. I do envy you and Belle and am glad for both your sakes that she is GGG and you obviously have no ED issues!

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