April 7, 2009

Dreaming of steel

The San Quentin of trapped-ball chastity devices

My severe horniness combined with my dopey sleepiness has left me fairly unproductive today. Surfing through my collection of chastity and denial sites finds me again and again at the Steelworxx website. Why? Because, for the 124th time, I’m pricing out the stainless beauty to the right.

For the record, I want the Steelheart, sized about the same as my CB-6000, with an integrated lock and PA fixing. That’ll set me back €296…which, I think, is something like Monopoly money. I’m not sure. Oh, I see. According to Google, at this moment in time, €296 equals $393. That’s a lot of cabbage.

I like the Steelheart for a few reasons. One, it’s designed using a simple aesthetic; natural curve, super-clean lines, and a single hole for urination. IMO, so much more beautiful than the CB6K’s logic-puzzlesque look. Two, I have a well-known fetish for stainless steel. Three, I like that when it’s worn it doesn’t appear to cover the penis as much as it appears to have replaced it with a shiny steel prosthetic. At least in a CB6K you can still be connected with Mr. Winky through the convenient visitor’s window-like plastic. With the Steelheart, your little man is doing hard time in solitary. Über. Fucking. Hot. (I’ve been doing that period-between-each-word thing a lot lately, haven’t I?) Finally, with the added option of an integrated lock, the entire package ends up being less bulky than the CB6K by a long shot. I’d also imagine it would be more comfortable for Belle when I spoon (and, occasionally, grind) into her.

The reviews (here, here, here, here, oh hell, just search Google) all seem to be universally positive. Now if I can only talk Belle into getting it for me. Hey, father’s day is coming up! What says to dad how much you love him better than a stainless steel cock prison!?

April 7, 2009

PA cable project est morte

I put a bullet in the head of the brief-yet-storied PA cable project this morning. I cut the fucker off as soon as I got out of bed. At least for how I’m configured, I can’t see any way a cable through my PA ring will ever work as a permanent security measure. It’s just too painful, in the supernotsexy way. Either the ring is pulling on the piercing or the cable itself is poking into the spongy tissue of the penis head or pinching my scrotum or whatever. Maybe if you’re the kind of guy who’s flaccid state is on the longer side (a shower rather than a grower), it’d work. But if you’re like me and often see the resting version of your little buddy only filling about 60% of the CB6K tube, I think it’s a no go.

Belle unlocked me before she left for work so I could install the smaller A ring and the KSD-G3. I took the opportunity to clean myself and the device, shave, etc. As I withdrew the penis from the tube, I saw gobs of clear, thick fluid. And it just kept coming. I was careful not to handle the merchandise any more than necessary (I didn’t even get an erection), but the precum just kept leaking and leaking. I don’t know – maybe a tablespoon? It was crazy. Even now, 90 minutes later, I can feel little burps of the stuff oozing out every once in a while. So, uh, yeah. I’d say I’m pretty focused at the moment.

Anyway, I’m way over trying to wire the device to myself and am now content with having a pretty secure device as opposed to a totally secure one.

April 7, 2009

Behavior modification through sleep deprivation

OK, this is getting out of control. I only got about four hours of sleep on Sunday night due to abject horniness and was expecting a nice restful slumber last night since Belle was back in bed with me. So color me surprised when I found myself just fucking laying there at 2:30 AM still miles and miles away from sleep. I got up, took one Tylenol PM and finally fell asleep 30-60 minutes later. Two hours after that, I was up with Belle’s alarm and the kids coming in to see her. Now I feel like someone slipped me a date rape drug (I should only be so lucky). Can someone come over here and pull all the cotton out of my head? Thanks.

On the plus side, I had plenty of time to think. Mostly, of course, it was about sex. I basically wrote out an entire pornographic story in my head tailored to my specific kinks and triggers. Why can’t someone write something like that for me? OK, I will. Sooner or later. Other than porn, I thought about Belle laying there next to me and how badly I wanted her. As usual, I didn’t want her in any specific way. Just more of a general desire to consumer her very being. Or rub my entire face over her pussy until her scent permeates my every pore. Either or. But, it wasn’t to be. After some incredibly charged kissing, she told me she just wanted to cuddle. Without the pelvic gyrations, please.

After several hours of thinking on it, I proposed to Belle this morning that we conduct a bit of an experiment. We’re going to try to take this whole femdom/FLR thing and go balls to the wall with it. I’ve committed to serve her completely for the rest of the month in any way she wants. I’ll do any and all tasks she dishes out, without complaint and to the best of my abilities, even if that means she’s doing nothing. This will be hard for her since she’s wired to do things for others rather than have them do things for her, but she’s going to try. I told her I really wanted her to judge how I completed the tasks as if I were her servant, not spouse, and to reward or punish me accordingly in whatever way she sees fit. I, of course, will be looking for things I can do for her so that she doesn’t have to ask. In addition, I’ve reiterated that she is solely in control of when and how we have sex and I won’t do anything that usurps her authority. I told her I have faith that she’ll take my needs into consideration and give me access to sex as often as she thinks best, but that otherwise I was not going to lobby or obsess (openly) about when it’s going to happen. A new twist is that she’s not necessarily going to deny me orgasms for the time we’re running this experiment. If she wants me to have one, I will. If not, I won’t. This isn’t about denial as much as it’s about her control and my lack of it. However, as part of the experiment, she is going to keep me in chastity all month.

The point of all this is to plumb the depths of the desire within me to make her happy that flows from her control over me. Will I find a kind of release and/or satisfaction by folding all the laundry? Doing all the dishes? Making the beds? Serving her? Dunno. We’re going to find out. I have to admit, the idea that her control over my sexuality is actually modifying my behavior does, all by itself, turn me on. I’m kind of getting off on being manipulated, molded, trained, brainwashed even. To me, it’s a manifestation of my deep desire to submit to her – in any way she wants me to.

I’d make an excellent cultist, don’t you think?