Big day

It was a big day today for those of us in acrylic imprisonment. First, I was able to pee standing up each time I went while at work. No, I’m not sure my aim’s good enough to do it at home into the toilet, but standing close to a urinal worked just fine, thankyouverymuch. I just poked the tip of my pinky through the slot (or, at least the tip of the tip of my pinky) and maneuvered Mr. Winky into a position more or less in alignment with the opening and BINGO! Man, I can’t tell you how happy I am about that. Peeing like a grown-up has been, after intimate contact with my cock, the number one thing I’ve missed while being in enforced chastity. Seriosuly, now that I’m able to pee normally and I’ve got the fit issues figured out and can sleep through the night (at least those nights when I am able to fall asleep), I could be in this thing indefinitely. Which reminds me…

I told my Belle Fille the other night that I’d be very happy only coming two or three times a month. Mind you, this is a dramatic improvement over our sex life of midsummer, but I’m not talking about only having sex 2-3 times every thirty days. I’d like to have sex as often as Belle will let me and I want to make her come each and every day (twice on Sundays), but I only want to come occasionally. I want to be denied because I find I am really very happy being denied. I love the mist of sexual frustration that hangs in the air among my thoughts all day. I love how acutely aware of her presence I am whenever she’s anywhere near. I love constantly thinking about what she will or will not allow me to do to her or with her each evening. I love the slightly dopey feeling that comes over me when I smell her while close in, nose on her neck, kissing her jawline…***…um…what? Sorry, where was I? Oh, yeah. In short, I love just about everything to do with denied orgasm. She’s getting pretty good at teasing me (making tremendous progress considering it’s still very new to her and she has no idea where I’m coming from when I say I want her to frustrate me 27/30’s of each month). As I said in a previous post, I am very happy to be where I am and consider myself incredibly lucky to have a mate who will make this journey with me. I hope (and think) she’s getting something out of it along the way.

Oh, almost forgot. The second thing that happened today was I found some underwear and a pair of flat-front dress pants that, when worn together, totally hide the plastic between my legs. The underwear is a pair of low-rise jockey-style briefs that hold my package close in and down between my legs. The pants have a looser crotch. Combined, they allowed me to cruise through the day well camouflaged, comfortable, and peeing on vertical surfaces whenever it struck my fancy. Yes, indeed, a big day it was.

Broken bunny

I slept about 2 hours last night. Yes, I seem to talk about sleeping a lot, but that’s when the roosters come to…well, roost, isn’t it? Last night wasn’t about discomfort in the chastity device, though. It was about my own body turning on me.

It’s been six days since my last orgasm and four days locked up in the CB6K. I’ll say again that many old hands at chastity and orgasm denial will laugh at my proclamation of six and four days as anything like meaningful milestones, but for me they are. Not only have I not had a release since last Wednesday, I haven’t been allowed to engage in any meaningful sexual activity with Belle since Saturday. That night, after I brought her to climax with my mouth, she teased me mercilessly in an interesting new (for us) way.

After her orgasm, I wanted her to caress my stretched balls and perineum (since my encased cock was unable to receive stimulation). I really wanted her to feel how hard I was and how strained I was in her device. Instead, she touched me everywhere but where I craved she would. I was on all fours above her and constantly trying to reposition myself so my cock would be where her hand was only to see her hand move elsewhere. It was excruciating and she knew it. It left me very, very aroused.

Sunday night, it was more of the same. No touchy the cocky. I wasn’t quite as horny afterward, but I was still running pretty warm. Last night, we talked a lot and she used her nails on me and bit me a little. Also, she said she really wanted to feel my cock in her, but that it was not to be. Maybe tonight (which means, of course, she’ll need to release me if only for a little while). Three nights of teasing led to one night of little sleep.

Basically, the lust – combined with the confinement of the device – finally got to me. I awoke about 30 minutes after we went to sleep with my brain buzzing. I spent some time online reading a few blogs and browsing FetLife which eventually brought me to this video of runied orgasms. Well, needless to say, sleep was out of the question after watching that. Read some more sites and eventually posted my first entree into pornographic fiction before laying in bed for hours and feeling sorry for myself. I almost woke her to beg for release since I knew 12.6 seconds after cumming I’d fall deeply asleep, but I didn’t bother her. I just laid there and buzzed. Until 3:00 in the morning.

Maybe I can come home early today and take a nap.

Go read this

Ferns gets me on a couple level with her newest entry. First, of course, there’s the poor little malesub all tied up and under her control. Second, she’s inflicting pain on his nipples. Pain + nipples = happy bunny. Third, it’s about piercing. I have an almost fetishistic fascination with nipple piercing.

It’s amazing what she can do with so few words. It may not be to everyone’s taste, but I find it beautiful.

Our new home

So, here we are in our bright and shiny WordPress home! I think I’ve finally settled on a theme I like. The photo in the header is head of my CB6K (its little lock peeking out over the top), and yes, I’m wearing it (though you can’t make me out in the photo). I never used categories or tags over on the Blogger blog so I’m currently going through and assigning those things now.

Anyway, please excuse the dust and half empty moving boxes. It’ll be a few days until everything’s settled in.

Montreal, Part I

A couple of weeks ago when Belle was out of town, I found myself laying in bed with my imagination running wild. I had just woken up and wasn’t fully awake. As I lay there in that groggy state, I allowed an actual event – a trip we took together several years ago – to merge with fantasies being produced by my hormone-soaked brain. The vividness with which this tale spun out in my head was remarkable. Before I lost any of the detail and texture, I tried to commit as much of it as possible to memory.

In the distant past, I tried my hand at fiction. Once or twice, even erotic fiction. That, however, was long ago. What’s presented here is my first stab at anything of this sort in close to 20 years. It may be good, or it may not. You may like it, or you may not.

I think it’s important to point out at this juncture that none of the things related here actually happened. Also, I’m not saying by writing this out that I want any or all of these things to happen to me. This is porn. Porn is fantasy. There are elements of what’s described here that I find extremely arousing. However, at it’s best, porn is a cartoon-like caricature of real life. Maybe that’s the difference between “erotic” and “porn”. Erotic is closer to possible while porn is obviously not. Who knows? In any event, here’s my first stab at it. Please feel free to let me have it in the comments.

Continue reading “Montreal, Part I”

A Week

It’s been almost a week since the last update. Sorry for shirking my duties!

Last Sunday morning, Belle woke saying she was hot for Thumper. This, I might say, is a nice way to wake up. Unfortunately, our youngest was up and in and out of our room, so Belle told me that I’d have to wait until that night to satisfy her craving. The previous night, I had made up for Friday’s transgression by giving her the orgasm she was denied 24-hours earlier. I guess that wasn’t quite enough, because she woke up wanting more. By lunchtime, I was also locked up in the CB6K. I went in voluntarily so I could test a new combination of ring and spacer sizes (middle ring, second to smallest space). Even though I wasn’t interested in being in there very long, Belle decided I might have to keep it on for a while. She reminded me that she, not I, decided when it came off. Putting it on of my own volition didn’t change that.

The day went by and we spent the evening over at her parent’s house celebrating her dad’s birthday. Belle had more than her fair share of wine and, by the time we got home and into bed, she was over the “hot for Thumper” phase from earlier. Now, at this point, if it were me in her position, I’d just say, “You thought we were going to have sex? Too bad.” But instead, she went somewhere else.

One of the things that lead to the troubles we experienced in out marriage was lack of sex. I don’t blame her for this. We both let it happen over a long period of time. We just stopped having it. We’d go six or eight weeks with nothing whatsoever – her not offering and me not asking. She didn’t seem to need it and I’d go and look at some web porn whenever I wanted to cum. Combined with other factors, this eventually led me into a short-lived affair. Last Sunday, instead of using her position as my sexual dominant to cover for her lack of interest, she instead took a left turn and started crying. She was worried, she said, that by denying me sex after suggesting we’d have it earlier that we were heading back to the place that caused our marriage to suffer.

Two things here. First, nothing could be further from the truth. Our troubles before were caused by joint sexual apathy, but now I felt we had a fully-engaged love life. She was denying me because I wanted to be denied. I was 1500% more satisfied with a fraction of the ejaculations. Second, as soon as she became vulnerable to me – when she cried and expressed her worry – I was completely blown out of my subspace. I could no longer be submissive to her and the presence of the CB6K on my cock went from being sensual to annoying in about 1/10th of a second. I asked a few times to have it removed (requests she basically ignored) and finally asserted that it had to be removed. The entire D/s dynamic was swept away.

I tried to explain how she had nothing to fear. That I was really much happier now and how she could use her disinterest as just another way to tease me (in effect, giving me what I wanted by not giving me what I wanted), but she was still weepy as we went to sleep. I can’t say we were fighting, but there seemed to be some unresolved issues. The next morning, I was still a million miles from feeling submissive. By that night, though, things were getting better. We had another, less tearful, conversation and I felt myself descending back into my subspace. I got a little heated up and she rebuffed me in the “right” way, which helped a lot. Now, I’m feeling close to where I was before. She let me cum Wednesday (somewhat unexpectedly) but has since locked me up again and said I will get out until next Friday (which will be eight days in the device, twice my previous record). Not only that, I’ll have been without orgasm for ten days (also a new record).

There’s more I can say about the ups and downs of the previous week, but I don’t have time at present. Suffice it to say, we’re heading back to a place where we’re both comfortable, which is good, and I’m walking around with the buzz of sexual denial keeping me on edge, which is great. It was amazing to me how quickly the trappings of sexual submissiveness could be pulled down, but am happy to feel them returning. All I ever want her to do is what feels right to her. As long as she’s happy, I will be, too.

Thumper fails

The monthly visitor has left the building, so last night I had a feeling Belle was going to let me out. At first, she requested a massage to her back and feet, so I lit the candles, got the oil, and laid out the towel as she put the youngest to bed. Once that was done, though, she said she was cold and just wanted to be under the covers so I could warm her. Fine by me! I stripped (with permission) and climbed in. A few minutes later, she told me to get the keys and the little prison was off.

My last orgasm had been six days earlier. I have no way of knowing since I didn’t keep strict records on such things until I gave up control of my sexual satisfaction to her, but I’m pretty sure six days has to be one of the longest times I’ve gone without release in my adult life. So, needless to say, being naked and under the covers with my wonderful Belle Fille, my mind (and hands) immediately went to her body. She told me the massage was off, but that didn’t mean I was without instructions. First, I was to get her nice and warm by manually stimulating her with my fingers. Then, I was to mount and fuck her – slowly – until she archived orgasm. I, however, was not to cum. Normally, she’d let me cum after her, but I got the impression that this time I was out of luck.

After a little while of sucking and licking her nipples and doing my dead level best to stimulate her clitoris, I could no longer stand the anticipation and begged to fuck her. I mounted her and felt her soft, warm moistness envelope my six-day-neglected cock. I nearly shot my load right there. I forced myself to consider other, less interesting subjects and started the long, slow strokes she requested.

I can make my Belle cum about 99% of the time using my fingers, mouth, or cock. The most popular paths to her orgasms are my fingers followed by her getting on top of me and riding my cock. Mounting her missionary-style is the one that takes the longest for her. Knowing this, I also knew I was going to have to concentrate very hard not to cum. After several minutes of fucking her slowly and continuing to pinch, suck and lick her nipples, I found myself on the very brink of orgasm. I withdrew and, hoping to buy some time to recover, started to rub my dick head against her clit (something she’s enjoyed in the past). This time, however, she ordered me back in. She wanted me to fuck her to orgasm and didn’t much care that I needed to take a break. So, back in I went.

I felt a small slug of ejaculate escape upon entering, but I think was whatever had locked and loaded from the edge of the orgasm I had just come down from. I felt OK, though, and continued to work on her tits. I felt very much like her pet at this point. I was suffering – straining not to cum and in an awkward position fucking her while also working her tits. I was nothing more than her tool. A big meat fucking machine with her favorite dildo attached. She started to whisper how good what I was doing with her cock felt. I could sense she was getting close. She was breathing heavier and moving her hips in counter motion to my thrusts. Her mind was entirely on her own pleasure and without regard to what I was feeling and I knew it. And I loved it. And that’s when it happened.

I felt the wave of the orgasm too late to do anything about it. I came and I came. Probably six or more spurts into her. I tried to stop it and fought every one so that, even though I had been saving it up for a week, I didn’t enjoy a moment of it. I knew I had failed. She had not yet cum, but I did. I tried to keep going but the sensation on the head of my cock was too intense. Besides, I was starting to get soft. She told me to stop but to leave it in there. I pushed in as far as I could while she moved her hips around me. She did achieve a fierce little orgasm, but nothing like the OMFG type I had hoped she’d get.

I know there are dommes out there who would really make me pay for such a terrible transgression. My Belle’s not one of them. She does acknowledge that I owe her, but has so far not made clear what, if any, punishment I’ll receive for failing to contain my pleasure before hers. On the one hand, I love her for her sweet gentleness. She was really happy I got to cum and didn’t feel too much put out for not getting a good one herself. She says I owe her one tonight and that I better be able to contain myself this time. On the other hand, though, I wish she’d be a little tougher on me. I need to feel that what I did last night will lead to consequences I may not be happy about. If I know all I’ll get is a light verbal scolding, will I fight as hard next time to keep from cumming?

The best part for me about how she reacted was immediately after her little orgasm. She said she wished she had a harem so she could get the next guy to come finish the job I was unable to complete. Maybe he’d be a more worthy lover. This was perfect. The thrill that went down my spine as she said these mildly humiliating and non-threatening things (of course, there is no other guy and there never will be) was delicious. However, I think she felt that saying them hurt my feelings or something because she immediately started to backpedal. It’s kind of funny, actually. I think there might be a snarling little dominatrix in there somewhere. How else would those things have come from her lips at just the right time to stoke my feelings of failure and inadequacy? But then the nice girl came back and tried to cover it all up. I love that nice girl, don’t get me wrong. I married her. But, when I’m her pet, I’d much rather have the bad girl come out, kick up her feet, and stay a while.

Post-Election Erection

With both Virginia and Florida going Obama’s way, I dodged a bullet and stayed free. Until, that is, she had a different idea. She started her period and decided that, as long as she’s imprisoned by biology, I’ll be imprisoned by technology. Seems fair to me.

The other day over on FetLife, I started a topic looking for advice regarding my previously mentioned issues with sleeping while locked up. Lot’s of good advice over there, but the best comment came from chastitygoddess who said:

As others have said, it takes some time to adjust. But what is important is you re-channel your feelings from ‘throbbing, painful erections’ in your device to relishing the delight of ‘throbbing manhood held in your keyholders embrace.’

She’s absolutely right, of course. And I think that’s where I am. It’s not that I don’t like the feeling of being encased in chastity – I absolutely do relish it – it’s that it was keeping me up and making me lose sleep. Until last night.

I awoke just once (that I can remember) and didn’t get out of bed until after Belle’s alarm went off. Of course, I had major morning wood. It was so bad, in fact, that I couldn’t even pee. My shaft was squeezed shut by the trapped erection. I was able to force urine out in tight bursts, but not enough to empty my bladder. Chalk up another new sensation to enforced chastity.

Today, I’m wearing boxers and the loosest pants I have and I must say I’m extremely comfortable. A few times I’ve forgotten I’m packing plastic. If I had a few more pants like these and could sleep more or less though the night, I could stay in this thing indefinitely. Just don’t tell Belle, k?

Election day

Previously, I reported that Belle had picked the outcome of Virginia’s presidential election as the determining factor as to whether or not I was to be imprisoned tonight. If the state went for McCain, I was to be locked up. However, after looking at the polls, she’s decided Florida is a closer call. So, if you live in Florida, please take my fate into consideration when casting your vote today. 😉

Last night, Belle and I had a great conversation. I got her The Sexually Dominant Woman: A Workbook for Nervous Beginners (which is incredibly short and simplistic, but written in a nice and nonthreatening way). After she finished it, we talked for a while. It’s clear (maybe obviously so) that the most important part of our integrating OD and D/s into our marriage is communicating our boundaries and expectations. I think she’s putting a lot of stress on herself with regards to being the kind of dominant I’m looking for. She’s never going to be a man-eating dominatrix because that’s just not in her. In fact, I just want her to be herself. I want her to treat me as the junior partner in the sexual aspect of our relationship in any way that’s comfortable for her. I’m just thrilled to be along for the ride.

She did confess a reluctance to participate in any kind of anal play with me. That’s a disappointment, but seeing we have so many other things to get through first (she has yet to tie me up or flagellate me, darn it all), I’m not too worried. I do enjoy it and go through periods where I crave it, but they’re few and far between. Maybe with more discussion and a better understanding of what’s involved, she’ll change her mind, but in the mean time, I’m good.

Blogroll, please

I’ve decided to be a polite member of the blogosphere and add a blogroll to my little corner of teh interwebs. You’ll see it over there on the right left (changed templates!). These are the blogs I love and visit frequently. Inaugural members are:

  • The Edge of Vanilla – Tom Allen’s chastity and OD site is a must for those of us not looking to be dressed up in skimpy French maid outfits and made to clean the toilet with our toothbrushes. It’s the kink site for the rest of us. Also, Tom seems to be a nice guy, so that’s a plus.
  • Maybe Maimed but Never HarmedBDSM blog by Meitar Moscovitz (AKA, maymay). His thoughtful, intelligent writing about things I had previously only vaguely fantasized about made me realize BDSM was about more than sex. There’s philosophy there, too. Maymay also produces (produced?) a podcast called Kink on Tap. His sixth episode on Teasing and Denial was revelatory.
  • A Place to Draw Blood Laughing – Blog of Eileen, maymay’s partner and domme. She’s cohost of the Kink on Tap podcast. I find her writing to be beautiful and evocative.
  • Domme Chronicles – Super-hot fiction, including an entire entry on biting (my favorite).
  • Beyond the Hills – To be honest, I don’t know a thing about this author, except that her post on aggressive submission spoke to me like nothing else has in the six weeks or so I’ve been investigating the kinky universe.