Belle’s back, so all’s right in the world and order has been restored. We had a lovely time last night talking, not about anything specific, just stuff. My libido is in neutral since she’s got her period and isn’t much interested in anything, though I can feel it rumble a little way down deep when I kiss her soft, full lips.
I’ve been thinking more about this idea of “giving” one’s right to orgasm to one’s partner. On the surface, this seems like such a strange and radical idea, but how different is it from committing to life-long monogamy? On the face of it, that’s just as strange a notion, especially given how we as a species have evolved. Also, it seems from my narrow and jaundiced perspective that our culture seems to expect women to essentially promise their orgasms to their mates. Male masturbatory excess is practically venerated while the idea that a woman might touch herself for pleasure still seems to be an issue for many (including women).
Of course, in light of recent events here, I’ll intercede at this time and say what I am talking about applies specifically to monogamous relationships between one man and one woman. I cannot and will not attempt to suggest that this applies to the gay, transgendered, polygamous, left-handed, Martians, or Green Party members. Edited to add, “…and anyone else who thinks I’m full of shit. Feel free to consider my ideas worth what they cost you to read them.”
So anyway, this “gift of orgasm” thing. I do not believe, in any way, this should be construed as kinky. Why? It’s a simple extension of monogamy. In practice, I’ve found that tying all my sexual release to my partner has drawn me closer to her than at almost any point in our marriage. So why isn’t this implicitly or explicitly part of the marriage vows? Why should the idea be considered so strange if the benefit (as least as has been demonstrated in my relationship) is so great? We exchange rings, why not our right to independent orgasm as well?
Of course, for me, layering on the control, power exchange, and bondage aspects of enforced male chastity make the whole thing hotter and more fun. But all that’s just frosting.