HNThumper XXXI: Chastity ring

So, my chastity has gone virtual. Many times, HNThumpers have featured the device which ensures I stay chaste, but that’s my brain right now and I can’t obviously show you that (since, you know, I’m still using it). But, because of the way my brain works, I find it’s very helpful for me to endow some object as the token of my restriction. Something that acts as a point upon which to center my willpower. A reminder of what I’m supposed (or not supposed) to do.

To that end, I have begun to focus on the PA ring I wear. I cannot take it off without a tool and its function when I’m locked in the device is to ensure I cannot get out, so there’s a certain logic to embodying it as the continuing physical manifestation of my chastity even when I’m not actually secured.

Today’s HNThumper, then, illustrates my current state. The thing from which I am separated is clearly evident, though the power that separates us is not. That power is represented by the steel ring. It’s as if we’re breaking chastity down to it’s component parts. It’s most elemental form. The look of the cock in this image is somewhat dejected which, I think, is appropriate considering its quarantined-like state.

Jesus, I wish I could stroke it. Just for five minutes. Please?

Continue reading “HNThumper XXXI: Chastity ring”

My little secret

Cricketed wrote a post that got me thinking. Go read it, though be warned: there are many NSFW images (as usual).

He said, about male chastity and the idea that someone he knew well would be aware of his…

[O]ne of the truths of being kept in the cricket for extended periods of time is that I’m led to a very personal place inside me, where being locked is not only sexy and beautiful and symbolic and necessary, but normal. The concepts and practices we’re discovering via male chastity interest me. Occasionally, they downright preoccupy me.

It’s not something strange or shameful to me at all. I’d like to be able to talk about it with some people. Obviously, our sex life is private, and I’m not proposing that we sit around a table in a restaurant and talk dirty with people. But many of the emanations that flow from being cricketed, as well as many of the principles involved, have little to do with the intimacies of our sex life.

I don’t think I could agree any more than I do. I could have written that.

For me, the idea that someone would “find out” about my chastity doesn’t really bother me that much. Like Cricketed, I’d welcome the opportunity to talk about it with some people. That’s not to say I’d want someone to stumble upon my blog, but even if that happened, the thing that keeps me from speaking about it now is the fact that nobody knows, not that I’d be ashamed or shy. I’m also much more worried about Belle’s privacy that mine. I write this blog and am very descriptive of her and our sex life together, but I never asked her permission to do so.

I’ve said before that if somehow someone I know in real life is aware of this blog, I’d rather they tell me than keep it a secret. I don’t like secrets and am frankly not very good at keeping them. I suppose it’s unreasonable to assume my “little secret” would remain that way forever. I don’t think awareness of their knowledge would change what I write and post (everything I’ve already done would be water under the bridge, after all), but I’d still like to know.

I wonder if I’ll ever have the chance to talk about chastity with anyone I didn’t meet though the fact that I’m chaste (i.e., this blog or FetLife or Chastity Forums). For that matter, I wonder if I’ll be able to talk to anyone IRL I did meet that way.

Gone virtual

“This is an experiment,” Belle said.

“You’re experimenting on me?”

“Well, you said you didn’t need the device anymore to remain chaste. Let’s see how that works for a while.”

This exchange took place about 50 hours after she let me out of the device, 36 hours after she fucked me, and about 8 hours after I assumed I was going back in.

Let’s rewind. She let me out on Saturday but decided to wait until Sunday morning to fuck me. At the prospect of having access to the meat again, I asked if I’d be allowed to play with it.

“No,” she said, “It’s coming out for my pleasure, not yours.” Fair enough. For however long I was to be free, I was not to pleasure myself with the cock.

Sunday morning, she fucked me. Climbed on top and rode me until she came. I was extraordinarily happy not to come before her, but that was due more to her wanting the cock as badly as she did than my ability to control my orgasm. I was about 70% of the way there and rising rapidly when she quickly came. Had she taken as long as she usually does, I would have been dead meat.

For a moment, I though she’d take the “mine, not yours” thing all the way to it’s logical conclusion, but she let me flip her over and fuck until I came. That took about two minutes and twelve seconds, then I spewed and spewed. It got all over the sheets, my leg, and (obviously) way up inside her. That stuff is nasty. Especially right after the event that causes it to emerge. Anyway…

As I’ve said lots of times before, one orgasm doesn’t do anything to satisfy my desires for more longer than a few hours. Then, it’s as if it never happened. By Sunday afternoon, I was right back in the hunt. I took a long hot bath and found myself on Kristen’s Archive which, for a man in my position, was perhaps not the smartest move I could make. Then again, while I had, at times, a very hard and very available erection right there, I did not stroke it. Not once.

So, that essentially leads up to the conversation that opened this post. I am, unsurprisingly, pretty worked up and my body is telling me, since everything is out there and flopping around, that I need to do something. Either take matters into my own hand or convince Belle to give me access or whatever. But no. She’s conducting an experiment. I’m now in virtual chastity. No device and no touching.

This kind of chastity has a different edge to it. In the device, my control is abdicated. The cock becomes a nonissue because it’s as if it doesn’t exist. Now, it does. And I have to touch it. It gets soapy and wet when I shower, it gets squished and squashed in my pants, and I have to handle it every time I take a leak. Plus, because I’m wearing the thick PA ring, it’s got heft and density all its own. There’s never a time I’m not aware of the unencumbered cock between my legs. Now, my chastity comes as a result of both her control and mine.

Of course, I’m not saying it’s better or worse. Just different. Hot in another way. I’m kinking on the constant temptation kept in check solely through my devotion to her control over my body, but I also really get off on the inescapable steel. About a week from now, Belle goes away on another business trip. I can’t imagine she’ll leave me to my own recognizance while she’s gone. Until then, at least, I’ll have to continue to resist temptation.