Rubbed raw

Today is thirteen weeks, four days since the Unfortunate Incident. AKA, ninety-five days since my last orgasm (and officially over my previous record).

The earliest I’ll be allowed to come is day after tomorrow: December 1. However, knowing my Belle like I do, I’d bet she’ll make me wait until the weekend. Saturday will be 99 days. Will she make me wait until Sunday for the even 100? Will she allow me to be out of the Steelheart until then? As I mentioned yesterday, she let me out of the tube on Saturday. Since then, I’ve literally rubbed the penis raw in frustration. Is it any wonder I prefer to be locked up? Do you have any idea how long it takes me to get out of the bathroom in the morning like this?

As an aside, I may need to come up with a better term then “locked up” since the double cock ring also has a lock, the key to which is not in my possession. I am, technically, still locked up, but not at all in the way I am in the chastity device. 

Speaking of rubbing, the new Steelworxx double cock ring (DCR) has forced me to modify my technique. As I pointed out yesterday, when fully erect, the skin on the penis isn’t as loose with the DCR in place. Based on my own first-hand experience with other erect male penises, the skin on “mine” is relatively pliable. I hardly ever have had to use lubrication when jerking off. One guy I know with a particularly fine specimen had to lubricate. When he was hard, it was all monolithic and tight (and so wonderfully hefty). I have always suspected this difference was due to how our individual circumcisions took place (i.e., how much did the doc cut off), but I’ve never been with an uncut guy to verify.

But I digress. My point is, the rings keep things tight down there and that’s partly why I’m raw. I didn’t use enough lube. The other factor is how the skin on the shaft seems to get more sensitive after it’s been locked away for a long time. The other other factor is overuse. Plain, simple self-abuse. Having not been told by Belle not to do it, I have been indulging myself repeatedly.

Besides that, the other new wrinkle the DCR has added to my style is how it’s effectively reduced the length of the penis’ shaft. The penis, as I’ve said here before, is, when fully hard, a perfectly average 5 5/8″ long. The DCR takes about an inch of pullable meat away. Then, on the other end, is the PA ring which can be tricky to masturbate over. Typically, I rub up to it and let my fingers open so they go around. Too much pushing and pulling on the ring can make the hole sore. Take that into account and I’m left with less than four inches of beatable meat. My palm is about 3.5″ across. You see my predicament.

Which, of course, I like. I am, technically, free. And in December, I’ll be even freer since Belle has said I’ll be able to come whenever I want. But the DCR complicates that a bit. I can jack off but it’s awkward. I can get pleasure, but there are still some boundaries and issues. I’m all about boundaries and issues.

I’ll close this post by thanking Tom for the nice call-out the other day on his blog:

Thumper is one of the few — very few — “chastity blogs” that has managed to stay fresh and interesting. I don’t always agree with him; hell, I don’t even always understand him. But there’s no question that Thumper is writing from a special, deep place, and you simply can’t doubt his honesty and emotional openness.

At first I was like, “Aw, that’s nice,” and then I was all, “Wait, doesn’t always agree with me?” and then, “Doesn’t understand me!?” before thinking, “Am I disagreeable? Am I that weird!?” Which, of course, is one of the things about me I’m sure Tom doesn’t understand. In any event, I truly appreciate the props. I’ll do my best not to obsess over the agreeing and understanding bits. As I said…boundaries and issues. That’s me.

7 thoughts on “Rubbed raw

    1. Yeah, if Santa ran on a cable company-type delivery system (“I’ll be there sometime between the 25th and the 1st.”), then I suppose that’s right. Oddly, I’m fairly calm about it.

  1. Food For Thought:

    It’s time.

    Soon you will be out and free to do as you choose. The big question is will this effect your outlook and behavior?

    There is a lot written about sex drive and what it is and why it is so compelling. But it all focuses back to one single premise: That our sexual drives are derived from our desire to procreate and to pass along our particular brand of genes. But what if this singular premise is wrong? I think it might be.

    There is a lot written about sex drive and what it is and why it is so compelling. But it all focuses back to one single premise: That our sexual drives are derived from our desire to procreate and to pass along our particular brand of genes. But what if this singular premise is wrong? I think it might be.

    No animal on the planet is born knowing that sex makes babies. Even humans have to be taught this fact. So it doesn’t follow that we seek to have sex for the purpose of making babies. I believe that we seek to have sex because sex feels good. Babies happen as a side effect. The way some humans behave it seems they still haven’t figured out the sex-makes-babies thing.

    So this singular drive to reproduce yourself as a basis for all sexual activities must be wrong. I think instead that there are actually two different forms of sex drive in all of us, neither of which are specifically about desire to make babies. The babies just come along.

    First there is what I call “Breeding Sex Drive” which is all about trying to satisfy your fiery passions to get that really good feeling of having sex with an attractive partner. Second is what I call “Bonding Sex Drive” and is all about that warm fuzzy feeling you get when you are being intimate with someone you trust and love.

    The capacity for both drives exist in both genders. Both can be present simultaneously in any individual in infinite proportions. So if we consider a couple about to have sex we see two people each with two sex drives in various proportions: This is a system with four degrees of freedom. No wonder it can get so complicated.

    Boys are predisposed to the breeding drive and girls to the bonding drive as a result of evolution. The boys who screwed around a lot had more babies; and the girls who had life partners emotionally bonded to them survived longer and so did their children. And so the aforementioned predispositions evolved to be part of what it means to be a human boy or girl. However it doesn’t end there.

    Once a boy and girl get together and have sex, even if the boy wanted to boink the girl just because he was responding to his breeding sex drive, and the girl decided to boink the boy because of her bonding desires, the system becomes a positive feedback loop. The boy immediately becomes more interested in that particular girl because he gets to boink her. So his bonding drive is awakened and enhanced… and (hopefully) the girl also had a nice time and not only her bonding desires were sated, but also a bit of her breeding desires were as well, and that feels really good.

    If you play about with this train of thought I think you will find as I have that it explains an awful lot of “Mars Venus” stuff. It also leads to some other corollaries that are not immediately intuitive. For example consider that even before we first emerged from the trees a woman’s life and that of her children very much depended on reliable bonding of a suitable life partner. As such she wasn’t about to be happy if he went off and boinked other girls. Doing so would create divided loyalties. Hence the emergence of supposedly monogamous relationships. However it makes perfect sense that a fellow whom a woman selects for bonding as a life partner might have different attributes than the handsome stud she lusts after. So while she is jealously guarding her bonded male from boinking other girls, she herself might be feeling the urge to sneak over and boink some other women’s bonded boy. Accomplishing this requires stealth and cleverness to avoid the wrath of the other female, so in a round about way clever women come to be regarded as sexy by men. That is how a guy would get a bit of extra sex on the side. And strong silent men appear sexy to women because they don’t kiss and tell. All this extra-pair mating tends to breed even more clever offspring which are raised by the bonded pair who are blissfully unaware that any particular child may or may not be genetically the bonded male’s. Remember they didn’t know that the boinking is what made the babies.

    Now suppose we introduce some element to elevate the boy’s bonding desires over his breeding desires. Like artificially restricting him to having sex exclusively with one particular gal by eliminating all possibility of his having sex with any other girl. If the restriction is carefully enforced he will become utterly focused on this particular girl to the exclusion of all others. And since this is the essence of bonding, and bonding is one of his sexual desires, it fees pretty sexy to make her the center of all his attentions. His breeding drive gradually gets reallocated from the primary spot in his sexual world to a secondary one. His bonding drive is the only part he can successfully act on regularly and he does so and it feels good to him. It is sexy and rewarding even though there isn’t necessarily much actual sex going on. And this is good for his mate too because she feels good about the fact that she has successfully bonded a desirable individual to herself as a life partner which of course satisfies her primary sexual drive.

    The question at hand is will the male revert to his “breeding sex” as his primary drive now that he is awakened (even if it is subconsciously) to his “bonding sex” drive? I say no. If his awareness of his breeding drive has been sufficiently reinforced he doesn’t revert. That’s because he has come to know how good it feels to be bonded to a wonderful woman, and how rewarding acting on that that bonding sex drive can be. Which is also the essence of any submissive male’s feelings toward his top. And there are lots and lots of male subs out there who do not require a lock and key about their private parts to keep them focused, quite happily, on one particular female. In fact there are tons of male submissive marriages that don’t even know that they are such. There is no outward sign of the “kink.” No locks or collars or keys or anything, and yet men who dote on their wives are not in the least bit uncommon. And they do it because it is sexy.

  2. I can get pleasure, but there are still some boundaries and issues. I’m all about boundaries and issues.

    I really *like* this. I’m all about boundaries and issues myself. I connect. And I just… really *like* this.

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