I don’t remember who told me this, but the indentation on your wedding ring finger left behind when the ring is not there is referred to as the “cheater’s dent.” I thought this was a common phrase everyone had heard of, but it turns out it may not be that prevalent. When I punch it into the Google machine, it steadfastly refuses to acknowledge anyone on the internet has used those words together before.
“Chester Dent?” it helpfully suggests. No. Not Chester Dent. “Are you looking for information on carpool cheaters in California?” No. I am not. “Dental…something or other?” No. Try again.
I have a cheater’s dent on my finger. I bet if you wear a wedding ring, you do too. Apparently, people can figure out if the person hitting on them is already married by looking at their ring finger and seeing if there’s dent.
The only thing I wear more than a chastity device is my wedding ring (but not by much). Turns out, I have two cheater’s dents. And here they are…
What I really want in life is a male chastity device that can be my “forever” wear. Not that I would literally never take it off because that’s just a (incredibly hot and potent and loin-stirring) fantasy. I’m talking about a device I never need to take off except for doctor visits, etc. The perfect set-it-and-forget it chastity device that enables indefinite, if not permanent, wear.
Today while sitting in our truck while Belle took a turn driving on our multi-state camper excursion, I looked down and saw this…
Not all that unusual, TBH, but since I was just sitting there, of course I took a picture of it and posted it to Twitter. Like you do. That’s not the interesting part or why I’m writing this post.
The interesting part is the hashtag. After pecking that out and posting it, I was stunned to see nobody had ever used it before. I mean, why should they? But I’m never not surprised when I have an original idea and #chastitybump was one.
Of course, I don’t really mind when my #chastitybump is that obvious. I literally just wrote…
I think all this is why I’m not nearly as worried as I used to be about my device being detectable by Muggles. I was running two days ago (and this morning) outside in light blue shorts and discovered as I was moving that I was sporting a fairly obvious bump that moved in a weirdly heavy way. And…I didn’t care. See it if you want. I dare you to ask me about it. I won’t take it off for you. Notwearing it is easy. It’s not special. But wearing it. That’s a thing I’m proud of. The dedication and the difficulty. It is special. It’s my super power.
And in that moment of hashtag inception, I was thinking about a) how hot I think a #chastitybump is (especially in new jeans I like a lot), and b) the defiant language I used yesterday, and c) how obsessed a lot of guys are about the devices locked onto them being seen through their clothing. And suddenly a movement was born. If only in my head. A way to help guys move past their #chastitybump worries and obsession. A way for them to be maybe even proud of it.
Because, when you boil it right down, what does a chastity device signify? Chastity is about devotion, sacrifice, and dedication. All noble and worthwhile things. The man who willingly accepts a chastity device is demonstrating attributes most people would value in their friends and partners. There really is nothing to be embarrassed about at all.
There is the issue of not wanting to involve others in your sex life without their consent. But the reality is (based on eleven years or so of catching people seeing my #chastitybump) nobody is going to ask. I mean, honestly, at this point the number of people I know and don’t who I’ve caught dick checking me has to be a hundred. Nobody has asked. Not a soul. And if they ever do, then they want to know and have therefore consented to get involved.
I think being less worried about one’s #chastitybump being visible is empowering. Being obsessed with stealth indicates that chastity is something to be ashamed of. In my opinion, that cheapens the commitment. I’m not going to go around with the shiny steel tube hanging out my fly, but I also will not go crazy trying to make it invisible.
Of course, creating a hashtag does not empower one with any kinds of special powers. But, if I was king of the hashtags, I’d ask that users of #chastitybump observe the following:
#chastitybump is not for exposed chastity devices. We’ve already got plenty of tags for those. Therefore…
#chastitybump should be used for devices that are covered with clothing. They should be at least minimally visible, but total obviousness is not required.
Preferably, the #chastitybump should be under things like street clothing (shorts, jeans, slacks, swimsuits, etc.), but underwear is also acceptable (mostly because I didn’t think of this rule until after posting a few tagged underwear shots myself).
And that’s it, really. It’s time for us to own our #chastitybump. I really, truly hope this becomes a thing because the stigma of wearing chastity devices needs to be defeated. One little #chastitybump photo at a time.
Last time I logged into FetLife was more than a year ago. At least, that’s what I surmise from how old the messages are in my inbox. Since some of them are inquiries for advice, I’ll answer them here for all to see. I’m leaving all the names off since none of them consented for me to make their messages public.
Hello Thumper, I enjoy your website. Thank you for your info & reviews. I’ve learned a lot from your writings.
For 24/7/365 wear, what is your TOP recommendation for a device?
We’d like something that breathes, non-noticeable, comfortable, secure, and perhaps goes with a PA piercing.
The search for a perfect device is so frustrating!! Thank you very much!!!
The PA part is what makes that tricky. The one I wear 24/7/365 (or could if Belle wanted me to) is the Steelheart. But “breathes” is tricky since it’s totally enclosed. I don’t really have an issue with “breathing,” but some folks get squicked out by the closed nature of the tube. If so, then the Half Shell is pretty good, though I can’t pee standing up while wearing it and don’t like how the contents are exposed underneath.
In non-metal, you could look into a 3D printed device. I have limited experience with those, but there are several that have integrated PA fixings. The Holy Trainer is a great choice, but doesn’t utilize a PA piercing.
Unfortunately, I don’t think there is a perfect device.
I’m a 31 year old Spanish guy, cut as well, and interested in chastity.
I have a doubt… if you’re submissive and wearing a chastity device, doesn’t your offspring know anything?
I don’t think so. Of course, I have no idea what they’ve snooped and found, but I have no reason to think that have. My daughter has had inadvertent contact with a device, but it was fleeting and I don’t know what she made of it.
Typically, I try and avoid situations where that could happen. I angle myself away when hugging and will even tuck the whole package between my legs when laying on the couch watching TV or whatever.
Regarding the submissive stuff, sure, that’s more obvious. But I’m not on all fours and eating off the floor or anything, so I look like a husband who defers to his wife more than average, I suppose.
I have been reading your blog when I was searching around the web on male chastity. As I became more involved in your background I found myself reviewing my life and my experiences which has similarities but much different outcomes.
I was married to a woman and we have one daughter. I found myself questioning my sexuality and was open with her about this fact. I went to marriage therapists and personal therapists and found myself in a position that I needed to make a black or white decision. I was attracted to men and porn and the leather kink side of things. An extreme opposite of the vanilla background I had experienced up to that point in my life. I loved my wife and she wasn’t keen on getting out of the relationship but wanted it done and over with so she could have closure. We are still very close and also live nearby so our daughter can be near both of us. We have been divorced for almost 10 years, and I had one relationship with a guy early after our divorce, but he died of brain cancer a 4 years ago. I have not had any meaningful relationships with guys after that experience. Your comments on sexual attraction versus love and the descriptions with magnets struck a cord with me. I have met alot of great gay friends and I can appreciate they are wired totally gay. I find myself falling in some continuum in the middle, and honestly I find both sexes attractive and I appreciate your Tumblr pages depicting both. I wonder what my life would be like if I managed to walk the path that you experienced in yours. In addition, I often wonder how you find opportunities to meet people like Drew. I don’t seem to find [FetLife] to be a forum to meet any kinksters in my area that’s for sure.
Sorry to be all over the board on this message. It’s just a bunch of my thoughts that I wanted to spill out as I was thinking about them. Thanks for your amazing blog. It was really helpful as I was able to reflect on my experiences.
Life is strange. We always seem to want to boil it down to a limited number of options. Gay, straight, male, female. But it’s not like that. You know what I’m talking about.
With only a few minor changes, I might have ended up on a path more like yours. I know I faced a great deal of external pressure at one point in my life to accept the homosexual acts I performed as who I was. Doing so, in some ways, would have been an easier choice than to deal with my bisexuality. But I wouldn’t have been happy. And while I still doubt I could ever feel romantic love with another man, at this point in my life I’m not sure if a strong D/s dynamic with the right guy couldn’t approximate it. I just don’t know. But there’s little chance I’ll find out. Those paths have already been passed.
On one hand, I’d like to go back thirty-five years and tell myself some things. About sexuality and what kink was and what I felt when doing certain things meant. But on the other, had I done that, who knows where I’d be today. Would I be with Belle? Would I have these amazing children? Probably not. And I’m unwilling to imagine a life like that.
All we can do is live in the now and worry about the future. The past is past. It can’t be rewritten and shouldn’t be. I don’t sense remorse in your message. I hope you don’t feel it.
How do I find guys like Drew? Well, so far, I’ve only found the one! Him and the guy I was most serious with as a teenager who is willing to look past my lack of a functioning penis. Drew came to me thanks to this blog and the other one I met in German class in about 1983 so I don’t have much advice to offer in the ways of meeting men, I’m afraid. Perhaps my readers have some ideas for you.
Have you found a chastity device that you could not get out of without the key? I find that I can always pull my penis back through the retaining ring and get it out. If the cage and ring are close enough together, I can’t get my balls free though.
Last time I travelled in the Holy Trainer v3 Nano, I found that one of my balls had slipped out the back of the ring. The opening on the bottom of the tube is ridiculous and I blame that. For the life of me, I couldn’t get the damned thing back in and leaving my balls half in and half out felt very strange so I popped the other one through and slipped the whole damned thing off. It was quite disappointing.
I have never worn a device I couldn’t back the penis out of absent a PA fixing. Even the Looker 02 with it’s urethral insert. I don’t believe any device without a way to secure a piercing is secure. Some feel more secure than others, but none of them are. Not one.
I’ve been following your blog and your journey, thanks for your candidness.
Seems that you’re quite the subject matter expert with living with a Steelheart. Do you have any good tips on keeping clean with it?
Also, have you had to fly / travel with yours?
I have travelled wearing with the Steelheart, but have never taken it through security. When I do that, it’s in my carry-on and I put it on in the bathroom once through.
Regarding cleanliness, I try to wash it every day. There’s really no way to keep it from getting smelly otherwise and even then it will occasionally become aromatic in between showers or rinses. It’s the nature of the beast, I’m afraid.
Got a quick question for you regarding Steelheart sizing, since you’ve got a good bit of familiarity with Steelworxx’s offerings.
I’m planning on ordering a Steelheart with the steel tube ring and integrated lock options. My question is related to the tube length. Their site advertises an “overall length” of either 60mm or 130mm (which can probably be customized, at least as implied on some of your blog posts). Are they basing this measurement of the tube length only, or also including the width of A-ring and the space between the ring and the tube (such that the ‘tube length’ would be less than either 60 or 130mm)?
My recollection was it was from the base ring forward, but it’s been a while. I’d clarify that in my order if I were you (which you probably did months and months ago). And yes, Deitmar will make any length you want.
I have a shit ton of regular messages in my inbox to get to. Will try to do that soon.
Previously, I’ve been pretty vocal in my position that the Holy Trainer male chastity device is the best option on the market for those looking to dip their…er, toe into the “chastity lifestyle.” So when a new version of the device is introduced, it’s a big fucking deal. Can the third version of probably the best starter device on the market improve on its impressive predecessor?
HTv2 vs. HTv3
The third version of the Holy Trainer, like the second, comes in four colors, but instead of the HTv2’s clear, black, white, and pink the HTv3 comes in clear, black, pink, and purple. I, for one, don’t mind seeing the white one go away. To me, it always looked like an orthopedic device. Medical play in the most unsexy way. Purple is the new guy on the block and for those Minnesota Viking and University of Washington fans, presumably. I opted for black as my review unit, but note that their site shows a solid black like the HTv2 and what I got was a translucent, smoky black. My preference in chastity devices is to not have the penis visible, so I would have liked the solid color. Note they are able to make the device in a number of custom colors (as seen on this page) for an extra $20.
Another superficial change between the second and third generation devices is the lock mechanism. It still uses what Holy Trainer calls the “MagicLocker” (a perverted cabinetry lock and the same one used by companies like Steelworxx and Rigid Chastity), but the way the tube and ring fit together has been changed.
The Holy Trainer website says the new version is “more discreet” and it does present a modestly lower bump, but honestly, I think in practice they’re a horse apiece. Oddly, their site also says the HTv3 is the “first padlock free chastity device” but the HTv2 used the exact same lock as the HTv3 (in fact, Belle locks me up with a lock we originally got from Steelworxx back in day — they’re all interchangeable).
The A-ring (Holy Trainer calls it “the ring” but A-ring is what the CB-X people call it on their devices and it’s the term I just keep using for some reason) is pretty much exactly the same as before except for the changes in how it attaches to the tube. It still comes in the same four sizes as before: 36mm, 40mm, 45mm, and 50mm. The HTv2 tubes and rings are not compatible with the HTv3.
The big difference found on the HTv3 is the tube. The HTv2 tube came in two sizes: Standard and small. The HTv3 comes in standard and small like before but they’ve added maxi and nano to the lineup. The maxi tube is obviously for maxi penises, but isn’t all that much longer than the standard tube (which is fine because shorter is always better). To me, maxi looks like it’s for men with more girth than average. The nano is small. Half an inch shorter than the standard tube and the one I tested.
Now it’s time to cover the six criteria upon which I judge devices: Cost, aesthetic, fit/comfort, security, hygiene, and stealth.
I ordered the HTv3 from the Holy Trainer website. All sizes and colors cost $165 with two shipping options to the United States ($14 for 4-5 day delivery or $28 for two day delivery). This is more than the CB-6000 by about $15 (the other mass market plastic chastity device) but since the Holy Trainer is better than the CB-6000 in every way, I think it’s a reasonable price. I can’t recall what the HTv2 cost, but they’re still being sold on the Holy Trainer website and they’re going for the same price as the HTv3. If the HTv2 was being sold at a discount and you were looking for either the standard or small sizes, I’d say buy it instead of the v3, but they’re the same.
I think the Holy Trainer design since v2 is classic and hard to beat (AHAHA see what I did there!?). It’s got clean, simple lines and looks great. The HTv3 is just the same. Maybe, with the sleeker lock bump, slightly better. High marks, as before.
The nano tube is noticeably smaller and more compact than even the short tube which, if you’re into the minimizing aspect of enforced chastity, is a definite plus. But it’s not so small as to make the penis appear to have disappeared like the micro device I recently reviewed.
Fit and comfort
Say it with me: Shorter is better. And the nano is both. So from the aspect of what one would reasonably expect in comfort from a device meant to constrict and stifle one’s erections, it’s great. As good if not better than the HTv2.
However, on the device I received, there was a small piece of plastic that appears to be a protruding remnant of the molding process and, after several days, it began to irritate. It doesn’t look like much in the photo, but it’s right in a spot where the tube is pushed against my scrotum during periods of maximum pressurization. And it doesn’t take much of an imperfection to cause a worrisome sore against tender skin when one’s active. It’s a disappointing quality issue and one I would expect not to be on every device shipped.
For reasons I can’t quite figure out, Holy Trainer has decided to make the nano sized tube a much less secure device than any other size they make. This is specific to the v3 since it’s the only that comes in the nano size. As you can see in the comparison images above, the nano tube is designed with a massive gap between the tube and the A-ring. Much larger than there was on the small v2 tube or, according to the images on their site, any of the other tube sizes. I guess this is for comfort during erections, but the end result is a tube that leaves the very spot of the penis that’s necessary to stimulate to achieve orgasm unprotected.
Of course, no trapped-ball device without some kind fixing through a piercing is “secure” in that penises can be pulled out and put back in of nearly all devices, but in this case, one could stimulate themselves to orgasm without withdrawing at all. Turns out, the Halfshell has the same design flaw (though the PA fixing does get in the way a bit), so the HTv3 nano isn’t alone with this issue, but there’s no reason for the gap to be that big. This issue alone would prevent me from wholeheartedly recommending the nano size.
I’ve said before that devices without real security (and even some of those) are really no more than deterrents that keep wandering hands off the fun bits in moments of weakness. If that’s the most basic test of a device, then the nano size of the HTv3 fails since eager fingers can still get to a spot a lot of men might be able to get off from. But if you’re the kind of guy who doesn’t need much more than simple barrier (like me), then the nano HTv3 will be enough. If not, get the small tube since it lacks the puzzling gap.
The nano HTv3 size squishes the penis up more than the small HTv2 did and therefore makes peeing more of a “pray and spray” kind of endeavor. Which, in turn, makes stand-up peeing a bit of a gamble (I don’t bother trying). That complicates hygiene, but the device is no more difficult to keep clean otherwise. I prefer stainless steel to plastic in general as it can feel cleaner, but the HTv3 scores pretty well in this regard.
Since it’s so small, the nano HTv3 is really stealthy. The Holy Trainer design has always tended to push the penis back into the scrotum which contributes to its stealthiness and that’s only accentuated with the smaller tube. The two pieces of the device fit together very snugly and the lock is totally integrated which means it’s also perfectly silent.
The ridiculous gap between the tube and the ring in the nano size is an unfortunate design choice. The other sizes don’t have this issue, so in those versions (and assuming the issue my unit had with finish is a fluke), the Holy Trainer v3 is every bit as good as the HTv2 and remains my top recommendation for those looking for a plastic device or are just starting out with male chastity.
I am a young puppy and my Master wants to keep me in chastity 24/7. He has a CB2000 but it is not very safe. We are planning to buy one from which I can not escape. We have thought about Steelheart with PA fixing and Looker 02. But he does not like the idea of putting me a PA. So Looker 02 could be a good option. I use the bike for daily commute and I practice swimming three times. The maximum that I have wore a chastity device have been 2 months and I have tested the sounding a few times and I loved it. We are concerned about hygiene (my Master likes dirty play) and the possibility of injury (I am a sporty puppy). What do you recommend? Do you have any advice?
I think a device with an urethral insert would be a bad fit for you. One, you mention “dirty” play and the insert makes issues like UTIs far more likely. Also, I don’t imagine a solid insert would work well with biking. Either you’re going to need to be OK with the less secure insert-less and PA-less devices or your master is going to need to get over his aversion to a PA.
I don’t really do much of anything in preparation. Belle allows me orgasm about once every three months (on average) and, other than the times she wants the penis for sex, I’m locked up. It’s more a mental thing than a physical one, I’ve found.
The thing that struck me as interesting about your question is wanting a longer lock up period as a reward. This makes perfect sense to me since once I started being denied and locked up I wanted to be denied and locked up for longer and longer periods, but it’s probably something the newbie would find counter-intuitive.
Edging is wonderful. Belle used to let me do it to myself before I lost that privilege. Getting rid of an erection after a session of edging can be difficult. I’d recommend either a package of frozen peas on the offending penis or, if that doesn’t work (and it doesn’t always), an ice-cold shower.
Prostate stimulation can help express built up seminal fluids but it will do nothing at all to relieve sexual frustration. Quite the opposite, in fact. But be careful since some men can orgasm from nothing else but prostate stimulation.
Thanks for collating all your reviews – your dedication to the cause does you proud. I wanted to tap into your expertise with a question, as a reasonably experienced user looking to upgrade.
So I have had a silicone device which I used for 3-4 months, until the end of my last D/s relationship. This was my first device and it taught me a LOT, in particular, how to develop workarounds to overcome the numerous problems that seemed to crop up. I am now in a new D/s and wanting to get a new device, upgrading to metal; I have my eye on a few ‘semi-solid’ styles (not sure what the technical term for them is), but I have some concerns about overcoming old problems – and wanted to consult your expertise, because I don’t know whether what I experienced last time was a product of the device or an occupational hazard one has to work around.
The main thing is keeping the device in place – I found the ring slipping off an issue not so much because of shrinking balls (though that was sometimes the issue) but it seemed like, the need to push the penis one side or the other inside trousers had the effect of easing it off in the course of a day and it never felt secure. Would metal make it worse, being heavier, or are there some obvious pointers to think about pre-purchase. I developed a harness as a workaround, but my Domme wants to rule out a harness on aesthetic grounds.
This sounds like an A-ring that’s too big. Your balls should not be slipping out ever or for any reason. Perhaps you have unusually small testicles, but more likely, you just need a smaller ring. I wrote a thing once about getting the size right.
Also, as a circumcised man, are there any issues or styles I need to avoid or, indeed, would be better off with?
No, a circumcised penis is the best kind to lock up.
Finally, I noticed in some comments made elsewhere on a blog post, you were a bit down on the House Of Denial as a supplier, though I have liked the look of several of their styles, and whether this was on grounds of quality, design or what. A number of the styles you review above are fully enclosed, so if you didn’t like the HoD, I was interested in pointers towards decent supplier of a semi-solid/semi-cage style like the HoD S87. Using good old Mr Google directs me towards the non-specialist suppliers or HoD.
Thanks for any help you can provide.
House of Denial sells a metal knockoff of the Holy Trainer and in my review I noted that it was unfinished inside the tube to such an extent that it injured me during what I consider typical wear. I cannot recommend any retailer or manufacturer that would knowingly sell a substandard product like that.
The device you like appears to be a knockoff of one of several of the devices made by Steelworxx. Mature Metal also has one that looks kind of like it. I’d advise going with one of them, even though it will cost you more.
I’ve been wearing chastity devices for almost exactly nine years. I’ve worn plastic ones and metal ones, those with and without rings, some wrought from cold metal and another 3D printed. I’ve kind of lost count, to be honest. It’s well over a dozen different devices. Perhaps even over sixteen.
I don’t say all that to boast. There are men out there who’ve been in a greater variety of devices for longer than me, for sure. My point is, I thought I kind of knew some things about the mechanics of being locked up. Like how to measure for a device and how to size it. How to wear it every day and live in it. But the other day, a crazy little thing landed on my desk from far away. And after nine years, more or less everything I knew got turned on its head.