Device déjà vu

A couple Twitter followers took me to task for reviewing the Badass Workroom BA-31P:

IMO, I define a “knock-off” as an exact copy of a product designed to appear to be that product. The male chastity device market is awash in these. Once upon a time, they were fake CB6Ks and then they were fake Holy Trainers (replete with the name “Holy Trainer” stamped on them), and now you see fake Cobras and devices that look like Evotion’s. In fact, you still see all of those. And that’s just plastic.

In my original review of the Rigid Halfshell, I said…

All in all, their products appear to be knock-offs of Mature Metal and Steelworxx designs at perhaps slightly better prices (though it’s hard to tell with currency fluctuations and option costs) which, all by itself, would make them barely worth a mention. But. They have a PA security design I’ve never seen before and it’s really interesting.

And that, to me in today’s market, is where “knock-offs” diverge from “inspired by.” A lot of the stuff on Rigid’s site looked like things other makers were offering. And a lot of stuff on the BAWR site look like things other makers are offering. But in both their cases, they have taken bits of those other devices and put them together in new ways. Hence, the BA-31P. It is, in my experience, unique. As I said, a cross between the Steelheart and the Halfshell. Not either. Both. And by making that leap of design — a leap nobody else has made, AFAIK — they’ve made something unique.

It’s not a 100% straightforward issue, to be sure. Patent and trademark lawyers make good money arguing about prior art all day long. All I can do is apply how I see it. In the case of the BA-31P, we find a new and unique combination of past designs. Good enough for me to think of that as a new, legitimate thing.

A case that I don’t think is difficult to call is that of the metal “Holy Trainer” I reviewed back in 2017. This was a product that was marketed as a device from the Holy Trainer maker, but in metal. It was the same design, after all, so…plausible? However, Holy Trainer only works in resin. They don’t make metal devices. And this specific device was awful. It literally injured me. Clearly, this is the worst kind of knock-off, even though one could argue making the design in metal was a new innovation. Perhaps. But they tried to pass it off as being something it was not (made by the Holy Trainer people) and, on top of that, it was total shit. It could hurt whoever would buy it and that would, by extension, hurt Holy Trainer’s brand.

But then I think of the brass barrel lock used by Steelworxx in many of their devices. When I bought my first Steelheart in 2009, I was unaware of any other maker using them. Steelworxx could have been the first (or maybe they weren’t, I dunno). Certainly, it was a very uncommon feature at the time. Now, you find it everywhere. Rigid uses them, the Holy Trainer has it, the Cobra and Evotion devices use them. It’s, like, the default way to lock a male chastity device. As is should be. It’s better than a small padlock in lots of ways. Are every one the devices I mentioned (and the perhaps hundreds of others I didn’t) all “knock-offs” of the Steelworxx design? Of course not.

In one alternate timeline, Steelworxx could have patented the approach. Perhaps, I’m not a lawyer. And that could have kept everyone else from copying their innovation. But that didn’t happen and, I’d say, the community of male chastity device wearers are better off for it.

Another example is the proprietary screw mentioned in the first tweet above. Lori’s devices had them ages ago. So did Mature Metal. And so does Steelwerks. And so does BAWR. And so does the men’s room stall I use at the office. Custom screw heads to make entry harder is not an own-able idea. The specific design of them could be. If BAWR was making S-screws like Steelwerks, that would be a clear knock-off. But they aren’t making those. They’re implementing a feature used by many other makers.

The last thing I’ll say about all this is the aspect of BAWR’s offering I mentioned in the first paragraph of my review. I was able to order a fully custom metal device and receive it within one calendar month. I have heard from dozens of guys who have ordered from Steelworxx and Rigid, specifically, who have waited 10 times as long (or longer) to receive their devices. This has been going on for years. I assume this is because both of them are overwhelmed by demand. In either case, they’re reported to be very poor at communication, so it’s hard to know. So, in a world where the two makers who have been apparently damaged by BAWR’s “copying” can’t even make devices in anything like a marginally reasonable timeframe for the customers they have, it’s literally the free market’s job to allow someone else to take advantage of the unmet demand. And BAWR has done that. They make a quality, custom product that many people want and cannot get. Capitalism doing its thing.

I don’t pretend this is all black and white. There’s a lot of fuzziness each person can interpret their own way. I have long been an advocate of not buying the cheapest devices available and supporting innovative makers. I long advocated for Steelworxx and Rigid and even Mature Metal. I also am a big fan of the Holy Trainer and Evotion devices and the Cobra. These are all makers who have innovated in their own ways. I do not think people should buy $20 versions of their devices. But people will and do and they have their reasons. I am saying I would not.

I also acknowledge that BAWR does have devices that could be called copies of others’ designs. But, like Rigid, they also have their own innovations they’ve added to the mix. And they can deliver which I know for a fact their all-metal custom peers struggle with.

Steelworxx, Rigid, Mature Metal, Badass Workroom…a lot of makers have devices that look like one another’s designs. They all get inspiration from one another. It’s all familiar. It’s up to you what you do with that. It’s up to you who you support with your money. I have no issue supporting BAWR because they offer the one combination of features I have wanted for years. Nobody else does, to this day. I don’t care what language they speak or what continent they’re making them on. They put exactly what I wanted out there at a fair price and in good quality.

What else could anyone ask for?

Badass Workroom BA-31P review

Badass Workroom (BAWR) is, as far as I can tell, a relatively new entrant in the male chastity device market. I first found out about them in the fall of 2021 and I ordered the device I’m reviewing today, the BA-31P, on December 1, 2021. Notably, it was a totally custom steel device that was ordered, manufactured, shipped and received all inside of a month. I am unaware of any maker in the space that can deliver that quickly.

I’m sticking the rest of this after a jump due to NSFW images…

Continue reading “Badass Workroom BA-31P review”

Cobra chastity review

Gather ‘round, children, and let me tell you about The Bad Old Days of male chastity when devices were made of hard injection molded plastic and had sharp edges and seams that would split and trap sensitive penis skin when under pressure. Note, this is after the Ancient Old Days when chastity devices were made of spare chain link fence parts or mastodon tusks and nails or whatever (looking at you, Tom). What I’m talking about is the glimmering dawn of male chastity as relatively mass-produced consumer devices. Model T chastity devices, as it were.

I mean, it’s hard for me to fathom why any of us so inclined put up with things like the CB-6000. But I’ve ragged on that thing enough on these pages and will decline to do so again. It’s enough to say we kinky people will put up with a lot of shit to scratch our twisted itches.

So I think it says more than I ever could about the mainstreaming of male chastity that we have options like the KINK3D’s Cobra. In a lot of ways, it’s the perfect realization of what a standard issue male chastity device should be.

Honestly, I’m amazed by the Cobra. It’s simple and well made and is an awesome choice for someone thinking about playing around with being on either side of a key. It is not the best device for me, but I’m grizzled and pierced and can still remember that CB6K base ring and its right angle edges. *shudder*

I got the Cobra because I was seeing it everywhere. A lot of guys in the Twitter porn were sporting it all of a sudden, and maybe it’s just me and my personal Twitter bubble, but it seemed to be really popular with the gays. So, of course, I needed to know what it was about. Mine came from Mr. S and the only difference I can see between those and how KINK3D sells them is what each size is called. I got a “tight” one which is the second smallest Mr. S option. It looks like the “N+” size on the KINK3D site where, interestingly, it’s the third smallest option.

The design of the thing is dead simple. Two pieces not counting the lock. A pair of tabs on the cage slip into a pair of slots on the ring and, of course, the two halves of where the lock goes on each. They fit together firmly and there’s a minimum chance of accidental pitching as long as you’re paying attention.

Cobra N+ next to the Holy Trainer v4 Nano

The device it begs to be compared to is the similarly stellar Holy Trainer v4. How are they the same but different?

  • The Cobra is an open cage while the Holy Trainer is a (mostly) closed tube.
  • They’re both just two parts, but the Holy Trainer fits together in one place while the Cobra has three contact points.
  • The Holy Trainer is slightly more bulky and has more plastic but, in wearing them, it doesn’t seem that way.
  • The Cobra N+ weights 27.8 grams while the Holy Trainer Nano (the closest in size to the N+) comes in at 52.5 grams. That’s a big difference but in practice it’s imperceptible.
  • The Holy Trainer is available in dozens of colors while the Cobra is available in any color you want as long as it’s dead sexy black.
  • The Holy Trainer comes in five tube sizes and has five base ring sizes (25 combinations) while the Cobra comes in eight cage sizes and seven base ring sizes (56 combinations) but also has three base ring styles (168 combinations!).
  • The Cobra is 3D printed while the Holy Trainer is injection molded “bioresin.” Neither have sharp edges.
  • The Cobra ranges in price from $155 to $185, depending on size, while the Holy Trainer goes for $165 for all sizes or $185 if you order a color other than clear, black, or pink.

At the end of the day, I don’t really see any huge advantages for either of them. The vastly larger number of size combinations for the Cobra have to give it something of a practical edge, especially for guys with non-standard penis shape/size, but the Holy Trainer has a size for most penises, too. Every other one of those attributes is either a push or personal preference thing. I find both to be very comfortable. The Cobra, also like the Holy Trainer, tends to lay flatter than options like the Evotion 8 so ends up being stealthier (if that’s important to you).

The only real downside of the Cobra I found is that it ended up being stinkier than the Holy Trainer (or any other device I wear). My theory for why that happens on me is some combination of how the cage nestles into my testicles and therefore traps urine leaking from my PA piercing. I’m not an especially squeamish one when it comes to hygiene (and, truth be told, can kind of like the funk of the Steelheart), but this was too much even for me. Easily fixed, of course, with a bit of a wash, but still noticeable.

Related, I found vertical urination to be less reliable than with the Holy Trainer due to my PA and the open cage design. If you’re not pierced, you only need to make sure the crossbar at the end of the cage isn’t in the way and you’ll be good to go.

If you do have a PA, neither the Cobra or Holy Trainer have security options to accommodate you listed on their sites. I did try a PA ring with the Cobra to enhance security but, as usual when doing this kind of thing with cage-style devices, found the instances of pinching to be intolerable.

One super clever accessory KINK3D offers is something they call the Airlock. It makes a totally metal-free, key-free, numbered locking option and is pretty genius IMO.

So, there you have it. If you have an un-pierced penis, regardless of size or shape, the Cobra is basically perfect. But so’s the Holy Trainer. So what’s more important to you? Colors? Closed versus open? Do you just like the look of one more than the other? I mean, you can’t lose with either.

Together, the Cobra and Holy Trainer are the dead-simple, no-brainer male chastity devices for both those just starting down their locked path or who have been skipping along it for years. Two options that are light years more advanced than what we had to choose from a decade ago and, I think, an indication of how mature and — dare I say — popular male chastity has become.

Polishing the knob

It’s been more than a decade now since I first put on the Steelheart I usually wear. That kind of blows my mind (which is the only thing getting blown around here, badum CHING). And, honestly, there’s not much that has to be done to it from a maintenance standpoint. Every couple of weeks I need to take it off and soak it in vinegar to get the crusties off. But, you know, it’s made of stainless steel. It’s the OG low maintenance material.

One thing I have always wanted to improve on the device is its gloss. Those of us with a fetish for shiny metal really like gloss and another device I have, the Rigid Chastity Halfshell, has always been way, way shinier than the Steelheart. Some of that may be based on the kind of stainless used by Rigid, but I wanted to know if I could improve on the Steelheart’s decade worth of patina.

One day, I was dicking around in the basement and found my old Dremel. And that somehow clicked with my desire to give the Steelheart more polish. In the past, I’ve used polishing clothes impregnated with some kind of oily compound that did a serviceable job, but all they did was bring the Steelheart back to a reasonable facsimile of its out-of-the-box finish. I wanted something beyond that and realized the Dremel was a possible solution.

A little searching on Amazon resulted in the ordering of some buffing attachments and some polishing compound ✨filled with diamond dust✨! To keep the tube of the Steelheart steady during the procedure, I put it on the end of a mallet handle and then put the business end of the mallet in a vice. Since I wasn’t really sure what I was doing, I decided to try polishing the underside of the tube first. After applying the compound and spinning up the Dremel and then cleaning the excess compound off, I was pleasantly surprised at the difference so decided to sally forth with the rest of the tube.

The thing I didn’t like about the buffers was how the Dremel, even at its lowest speed, would essentially spin them apart and leave a cloud of little woolen fibers floating around the workbench. I found I needed to keep the buffer in contact with the tube to minimize that issue. I was also hoping the polishing compound would work out some tiny scratches the tube has picked up over the years, but no such luck. Perhaps a compound with a larger grit would work, but then I figure I’d need to use the fine grit compound to get the high gloss going.

In the end, it’s still not as shiny as the Halfshell. But it’s noticeably more mirror-like than it was. I may experiment with various compounds and perhaps a longer duration of Dremel usage. In any event, it is improved and there remains nothing at all as sexy as high gloss stainless steel.

Koala Munchkin review

TL;DR version:

DO NOT BUY THIS THING.

Normal version:

Super minimal chastity devices appear to be a growing (lol) segment of the market in recent years. I have even reviewed one or two on my blog, but not one as totally nullifying as the Munchkin line of devices sold by Koala Swim. They create a totally flat presentation that not only presses the penis down, it also has a “peg” that pushes it in and inverts it entirely.

Personally, I prefer the look of a device that leaves some suggestion of its contents, but I also really get off on the feeing of erection compression so can at least theoretically appreciate why the Munchkin exists. However, as executed, it’s not just a terrible device, it’s also dangerously irresponsible.

Rewind a bit. One of the issues with super minimal devices is how they squish their contents and how their contents are used for the frequent act of fluid waste elimination. Lots of messy spray can occur. I found that to be the case with the one metal, nameless minimal device I’ve tested. The solution to this is a urethral insert to help guide the flow of urine. Normally, these are relatively short and made of metal (preferably titanium), but in the case of the Munchkin, it’s longish and consists of flexible plastic tubing (as it’d have to be) and a metal tip.

Right off the bat, you may be concerned that the tip might come off which would obviously be A Very Bad Thing. Good news is, the metal bit is very securely held in place. Bad news is…well, there are exposed edges. Exposed sharp edges. On both the metal and the plastic.

Maybe you don’t know (but I do) that the “skin” lining the urethra is very tender and sensitive. That sensitivity can lead to pleasure which is why sounding and other types of insertive penis play is enjoyed by many, but it can also lead to serious discomfort if the object being inserted isn’t perfectly smooth. The urethral tube of the Koala Munchkin is not perfectly smooth. In fact, it’s SHARP. AS. FUCK.

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, how does anyone in good conscience sell something like this knowing a man is going to shove it up his penis!? Not that some dude might shove it up his penis. That they are expected to. I am honestly angry such a thing is marketed. It’s a goddamned crime, as far as I’m concerned.

Now, the insert is not required for use. I would have tried it absent that except for the fact it didn’t fit me. The sell a 38mm base ring and a 45mm ring with nothing in between (but probably larger than that, as I recall, but I don’t remember the specifics nor do I care to go find out). The Steelheart has a 40mm base ring which is just large enough for me to wear and, since little to no erectile tissue would protrude through the Munchkin’s base ring, I thought going down to 38mm would work. It did not. I could not get the…tube? Cage? Plate? Peg?…aligned with the screw hole on the base ring in order to secure it. The whatever-we-want-to-call-it was too thick to fit through the ring along with the bits of me also required to squish in there so I couldn’t get it on completely. Too bad because I suspect the 45mm version would have been way too big on me. Forty millimeters would have been perfect.

I suppose I can say the craftsmanship and finish of the parts that wouldn’t end up quite possibly causing a man to bleed from his penis were acceptable. Though the “lock” is just a hex screw so isn’t really at all secure.

So, yeah, not a complete review. Except to say their urethral insert is an irresponsible bit of malpractice and should be a fucking crime to distribute. I wouldn’t recommend anything they sell because of it and don’t think any of you should buy anything from them ever.

Mailbag

Two quick chastity nerdery inquiries.

Got this question over on Twitter:

I mean, I haven’t been in the market for a custom cage for a long time and it may be that my advice is out of date, but I would recommend the following makers:

Note that for some of these (Rigid in particular but also Steelworxx), I’ve been given feedback that their backlog is long and service/communication nearly nonexistent. I think anyone and everyone making bespoke devices is very busy and the waits are long. Back in the day, I found MM’s service to be quite good. Evotion would also get high marks from me.

Over on FetLife, I received this message:

i have been following your blog denying thumper for some time and really appreciate hearing about your journey into chastity.

i belong to Lady Angélie and have shown Her the clean design of the Steel heart.

am about to order and would really appreciate some feedback on the comfort for long term wearing with restrained release.

Was considering the additional stainless steel ring around the opening for confort but feel it’s not as aesthetically sleek design.

Would love to hear your thoughts.

The Steelheart I wear has the little ring on it. It’s supposed to make the fit more comfortable but I’d found the weld on the bottom where the ring is joined to the tube can be irritating. If I were you, I’d skip it.

Cheater’s dent

I don’t remember who told me this, but the indentation on your wedding ring finger left behind when the ring is not there is referred to as the “cheater’s dent.” I thought this was a common phrase everyone had heard of, but it turns out it may not be that prevalent. When I punch it into the Google machine, it steadfastly refuses to acknowledge anyone on the internet has used those words together before.

“Chester Dent?” it helpfully suggests. No. Not Chester Dent. “Are you looking for information on carpool cheaters in California?” No. I am not. “Dental…something or other?” No. Try again.

I have a cheater’s dent on my finger. I bet if you wear a wedding ring, you do too. Apparently, people can figure out if the person hitting on them is already married by looking at their ring finger and seeing if there’s dent.

The only thing I wear more than a chastity device is my wedding ring (but not by much). Turns out, I have two cheater’s dents. And here they are…

Continue reading “Cheater’s dent”

Evotion 8 review

Evotion 8 male chastity device held in my hand

What I really want in life is a male chastity device that can be my “forever” wear. Not that I would literally never take it off because that’s just a (incredibly hot and potent and loin-stirring) fantasy. I’m talking about a device I never need to take off except for doctor visits, etc. The perfect set-it-and-forget it chastity device that enables indefinite, if not permanent, wear.

Continue reading “Evotion 8 review”

#chastitybump

Today while sitting in our truck while Belle took a turn driving on our multi-state camper excursion, I looked down and saw this…

Not all that unusual, TBH, but since I was just sitting there, of course I took a picture of it and posted it to Twitter. Like you do. That’s not the interesting part or why I’m writing this post.

The interesting part is the hashtag. After pecking that out and posting it, I was stunned to see nobody had ever used it before. I mean, why should they? But I’m never not surprised when I have an original idea and #chastitybump was one.

Of course, I don’t really mind when my #chastitybump is that obvious. I literally just wrote

I think all this is why I’m not nearly as worried as I used to be about my device being detectable by Muggles. I was running two days ago (and this morning) outside in light blue shorts and discovered as I was moving that I was sporting a fairly obvious bump that moved in a weirdly heavy way. And…I didn’t care. See it if you want. I dare you to ask me about it. I won’t take it off for you. Notwearing it is easy. It’s not special. But wearing it. That’s a thing I’m proud of. The dedication and the difficulty. It is special. It’s my super power.

And in that moment of hashtag inception, I was thinking about a) how hot I think a #chastitybump is (especially in new jeans I like a lot), and b) the defiant language I used yesterday, and c) how obsessed a lot of guys are about the devices locked onto them being seen through their clothing. And suddenly a movement was born. If only in my head. A way to help guys move past their #chastitybump worries and obsession. A way for them to be maybe even proud of it.

Because, when you boil it right down, what does a chastity device signify? Chastity is about devotion, sacrifice, and dedication. All noble and worthwhile things. The man who willingly accepts a chastity device is demonstrating attributes most people would value in their friends and partners. There really is nothing to be embarrassed about at all.

There is the issue of not wanting to involve others in your sex life without their consent. But the reality is (based on eleven years or so of catching people seeing my #chastitybump) nobody is going to ask. I mean, honestly, at this point the number of people I know and don’t who I’ve caught dick checking me has to be a hundred. Nobody has asked. Not a soul. And if they ever do, then they want to know and have therefore consented to get involved.

I think being less worried about one’s #chastitybump being visible is empowering. Being obsessed with stealth indicates that chastity is something to be ashamed of. In my opinion, that cheapens the commitment. I’m not going to go around with the shiny steel tube hanging out my fly, but I also will not go crazy trying to make it invisible.

Of course, creating a hashtag does not empower one with any kinds of special powers. But, if I was king of the hashtags, I’d ask that users of #chastitybump observe the following:

  1. #chastitybump is not for exposed chastity devices. We’ve already got plenty of tags for those. Therefore…
  2. #chastitybump should be used for devices that are covered with clothing. They should be at least minimally visible, but total obviousness is not required.
  3. Preferably, the #chastitybump should be under things like street clothing (shorts, jeans, slacks, swimsuits, etc.), but underwear is also acceptable (mostly because I didn’t think of this rule until after posting a few tagged underwear shots myself).

And that’s it, really. It’s time for us to own our #chastitybump. I really, truly hope this becomes a thing because the stigma of wearing chastity devices needs to be defeated. One little #chastitybump photo at a time.

Mailbag

Last time I logged into FetLife was more than a year ago. At least, that’s what I surmise from how old the messages are in my inbox. Since some of them are inquiries for advice, I’ll answer them here for all to see. I’m leaving all the names off since none of them consented for me to make their messages public.

Hello Thumper, I enjoy your website. Thank you for your info & reviews. I’ve learned a lot from your writings.

For 24/7/365 wear, what is your TOP recommendation for a device?

We’d like something that breathes, non-noticeable, comfortable, secure, and perhaps goes with a PA piercing.

The search for a perfect device is so frustrating!! Thank you very much!!!

The PA part is what makes that tricky. The one I wear 24/7/365 (or could if Belle wanted me to) is the Steelheart. But “breathes” is tricky since it’s totally enclosed. I don’t really have an issue with “breathing,” but some folks get squicked out by the closed nature of the tube. If so, then the Half Shell is pretty good, though I can’t pee standing up while wearing it and don’t like how the contents are exposed underneath. 

In non-metal, you could look into a 3D printed device. I have limited experience with those, but there are several that have integrated PA fixings. The Holy Trainer is a great choice, but doesn’t utilize a PA piercing. 

Unfortunately, I don’t think there is a perfect device. 

I’m a 31 year old Spanish guy, cut as well, and interested in chastity.

I have a doubt… if you’re submissive and wearing a chastity device, doesn’t your offspring know anything?

I don’t think so. Of course, I have no idea what they’ve snooped and found, but I have no reason to think that have. My daughter has had inadvertent contact with a device, but it was fleeting and I don’t know what she made of it. 

Typically, I try and avoid situations where that could happen. I angle myself away when hugging and will even tuck the whole package between my legs when laying on the couch watching TV or whatever.

Regarding the submissive stuff, sure, that’s more obvious. But I’m not on all fours and eating off the floor or anything, so I look like a husband who defers to his wife more than average, I suppose. 

I have been reading your blog when I was searching around the web on male chastity. As I became more involved in your background I found myself reviewing my life and my experiences which has similarities but much different outcomes.

I was married to a woman and we have one daughter. I found myself questioning my sexuality and was open with her about this fact. I went to marriage therapists and personal therapists and found myself in a position that I needed to make a black or white decision. I was attracted to men and porn and the leather kink side of things. An extreme opposite of the vanilla background I had experienced up to that point in my life. I loved my wife and she wasn’t keen on getting out of the relationship but wanted it done and over with so she could have closure. We are still very close and also live nearby so our daughter can be near both of us. We have been divorced for almost 10 years, and I had one relationship with a guy early after our divorce, but he died of brain cancer a 4 years ago. I have not had any meaningful relationships with guys after that experience. Your comments on sexual attraction versus love and the descriptions with magnets struck a cord with me. I have met alot of great gay friends and I can appreciate they are wired totally gay. I find myself falling in some continuum in the middle, and honestly I find both sexes attractive and I appreciate your Tumblr pages depicting both. I wonder what my life would be like if I managed to walk the path that you experienced in yours. In addition, I often wonder how you find opportunities to meet people like Drew. I don’t seem to find [FetLife] to be a forum to meet any kinksters in my area that’s for sure.

Sorry to be all over the board on this message. It’s just a bunch of my thoughts that I wanted to spill out as I was thinking about them. Thanks for your amazing blog. It was really helpful as I was able to reflect on my experiences.

Life is strange. We always seem to want to boil it down to a limited number of options. Gay, straight, male, female. But it’s not like that. You know what I’m talking about. 

With only a few minor changes, I might have ended up on a path more like yours. I know I faced a great deal of external pressure at one point in my life to accept the homosexual acts I performed as who I was. Doing so, in some ways, would have been an easier choice than to deal with my bisexuality. But I wouldn’t have been happy. And while I still doubt I could ever feel romantic love with another man, at this point in my life I’m not sure if a strong D/s dynamic with the right guy couldn’t approximate it. I just don’t know. But there’s little chance I’ll find out. Those paths have already been passed. 

On one hand, I’d like to go back thirty-five years and tell myself some things. About sexuality and what kink was and what I felt when doing certain things meant. But on the other, had I done that, who knows where I’d be today. Would I be with Belle? Would I have these amazing children? Probably not. And I’m unwilling to imagine a life like that. 

All we can do is live in the now and worry about the future. The past is past. It can’t be rewritten and shouldn’t be. I don’t sense remorse in your message. I hope you don’t feel it. 

How do I find guys like Drew? Well, so far, I’ve only found the one! Him and the guy I was most serious with as a teenager who is willing to look past my lack of a functioning penis. Drew came to me thanks to this blog and the other one I met in German class in about 1983 so I don’t have much advice to offer in the ways of meeting men, I’m afraid. Perhaps my readers have some ideas for you. 

Have you found a chastity device that you could not get out of without the key? I find that I can always pull my penis back through the retaining ring and get it out. If the cage and ring are close enough together, I can’t get my balls free though.

Last time I travelled in the Holy Trainer v3 Nano, I found that one of my balls had slipped out the back of the ring. The opening on the bottom of the tube is ridiculous and I blame that. For the life of me, I couldn’t get the damned thing back in and leaving my balls half in and half out felt very strange so I popped the other one through and slipped the whole damned thing off. It was quite disappointing.

I have never worn a device I couldn’t back the penis out of absent a PA fixing. Even the Looker 02 with it’s urethral insert. I don’t believe any device without a way to secure a piercing is secure. Some feel more secure than others, but none of them are. Not one.

I’ve been following your blog and your journey, thanks for your candidness.

Seems that you’re quite the subject matter expert with living with a Steelheart. Do you have any good tips on keeping clean with it?

Also, have you had to fly / travel with yours?

I have travelled wearing with the Steelheart, but have never taken it through security. When I do that, it’s in my carry-on and I put it on in the bathroom once through. 

Regarding cleanliness, I try to wash it every day. There’s really no way to keep it from getting smelly otherwise and even then it will occasionally become aromatic in between showers or rinses. It’s the nature of the beast, I’m afraid. 

I did make a video showing how I cleaned mine, once upon a time. 

Got a quick question for you regarding Steelheart sizing, since you’ve got a good bit of familiarity with Steelworxx’s offerings.

I’m planning on ordering a Steelheart with the steel tube ring and integrated lock options. My question is related to the tube length. Their site advertises an “overall length” of either 60mm or 130mm (which can probably be customized, at least as implied on some of your blog posts). Are they basing this measurement of the tube length only, or also including the width of A-ring and the space between the ring and the tube (such that the ‘tube length’ would be less than either 60 or 130mm)?

My recollection was it was from the base ring forward, but it’s been a while. I’d clarify that in my order if I were you (which you probably did months and months ago). And yes, Deitmar will make any length you want. 

I have a shit ton of regular messages in my inbox to get to. Will try to do that soon.