In the months of June and July, I’ve been on fourteen airline flights. Belle will have been on over twenty. We will have also been on different continents for half of the month. Hopefully, things will start to return to normal in August as she gets home and life starts to look like normal again.
All that to explain, for the second month in a row, that things are weird. Not as much of anything as you might expect except for the time the penis has been locked up and out of sight.
In July, there was a device secured to me 98.8% of the time. I was without device for a whole nine and one-quarter hours, almost entirely due to two massages we had in the month. One was near the beginning of the month and happened on a cruise ship in Halong Bay, performed by a small Vietnamese woman with small, weak hands (alas). As usual, I took the device off because massages are traditionally done naked, but not, it turns out, on this ship. I had to leave my swimsuit on which was fucking weird. Had I known, I would have stayed in, but such is life. That accounted for just over 90 minutes of free time.
The second massage was for two whole hours and was done by an equally small Thai woman but she was terrifically strong and/or knew how to leverage her weight. I again assumed nakedness, but instead wore a ridiculous sheer square-cut pair of briefs she supplied. The only thing they ensured was that the penis wouldn’t flop around, but everything was clearly visible though the material and she even pulled them down over my ass to massage my glutes. I assume they were there as more of a deterrence to Westerners looking for enhanced services than modesty. That day I was unlocked for more than four hours. So, for the month, nearly two-thirds of the time I was out was for massages.
The remaining free time was either for Belle’s use or cleaning. I never flew on this trip without a device, either the Schandmaske or Holy Trainer. Neither made for even a blip in any security situation, even the TSA’s scanners.
While we’re on the subject, pour one out for the Schandmaske. I believe I lost it somewhere along the way since it wasn’t amongst my things when packing, wasn’t where I was keeping the devices, and hasn’t been found in my suitcase upon return. I’m holding out a small amount of hope it will turn up when Belle packs and leaves, but not much. Poor Schandmaske. I hardly knew ye.
The Steelheart has been on for the nearly two weeks I’ve been back as well as now and then before coming home so it ruled the month with 52% of the total time. The Holy Trainer and Halfshell more or less split the other half. The Schandmaske’s last hour happened somewhere in there.
Looking back over the year, 9.25 hours is the third longest I’ve been out over a month and bucks the trend of three consecutive months of ever-decreasing free time. I expect August to be back to around normal, so in the 4 hour range.
On the sex side, Belle only came six times. Four times with me and twice by herself. Well, at least twice. She sometimes forgets to keep me updated. By herself was via her vibrator and one of the times with me was on the penis. The remaining were from my fingers.
The one time on my penis I was about as close as I could get to coming without actually coming. I’ve struggled to define it, it was so close, but it didn’t feel like a whole orgasm. Perhaps because she wasn’t done with her pleasure and kept riding it after which is one way to ruin an orgasm. In any event, I’ve landed on not calling it one since I didn’t feel especially post-orgasmic after and my level of sexual frustration didn’t seem to falter. All tolled, I was inside her four times and ejaculated each time.
As I said, Belle gets home Saturday and then has to reset her clock, but it’ll be nice for us all to be home and things to return to as normal as possible.
I’m a bit tardy with the June update seeing as we were in Vietnam on July 1st and I didn’t have my laptop with me. I didn’t want to peck it out on my phone.
June was a five device month. That may be a first. The Looker 02, Steelheart, Holy Trainer, Halfshell, and Schandmaske all had their time in the pouch.
The L02 was mostly before we left for Hong Kong and, I think, may be at the end of its life. The urethral insert is loose and I don’t think I’d pay to get it fixed because I’d also want to make all kinds of adjustments (slightly shorter cage, slightly thicker and longer insert) meaning if I have a device like it in the future, I’ll just get another one.
The Schandmaske just made it under the wire. As I was getting ready to go to the airport for the flight to Hanoi, I saw the potential for all five I bought to get some lock time. Belle’s been traveling separately (and more often) than the rest of us, so I have a free hand in deciding which device I wear and when I switch them out. I have her key and, thanks to misplacing it for a few hours, also have my back up both freely available. I’ve become something like the house cat that anxiously watches the birds on the feeder but won’t go out the front door when given the chance. The penis is now completely tamed and I have no interest at all in having it free.
We got back to Hong Kong after a week in China earlier in the month a day before Belle did, and I put myself in the Steelheart. I slipped the Holy Trainer off and pushed my balls through the tight A-ring followed by the penis and felt the cold steel wrap itself around the rapidly inflating meat. There’s something about the Steelheart. Something that feels like home and really the only device I wear that’s synonymous with “real” chastity. Maybe because it’s a bit too tight and the tube totally envelopes and replaces the penis (as opposed to the Halfshell where the bottom of the penis can be touched) and unlike the HT or the L02, it’s escape-proof. I dunno. But the psychology of being in that device over all others is very different. I’m wearing it now and just writing about it is filling it up.
As you can see in the chart, the penis’ time out was barely over an hour which by far is the lowest amount of the year and maybe ever in any month in all the years we’ve been using chastity in our marriage.
January – 10.75 hours (1.5%)
February – 5 hours (.7%)
March – 12.6 hours (1.7%)
April – 4.5 hours (.6%)
May – 4 hours (.5%)
June – 1 hour (.1%)
The briefness of this period is more related to issues other than Belle’s choices. As I said, lots of travel, some time with Belle being away, and for a week there I was sick with a nasty sore throat and didn’t want to give it to Belle. I suspect that the 4-5 hours a month will turn out to be normal for us over time.
Thanks to the issues mentioned above, I was well below other months (or my personal goal) of getting her off. Only four times. If she took care of herself while away, she never mentioned it. I was inside her just twice, though the second time she told me to come, exactly 120 days from the last time.
We’re half way through 2017 now. The Steelheart just edged past the Halfshell in total time with the Schandmaske far behind followed by the HT followed by the L02 (which went on for the first time and maybe last this year in June). The penis was free almost .9% over six months.
Belle has come forty-five times so far this year. Thirty times by my fingers, eleven times by her own hand, twice by me using her vibrator on her, once orally, and once on the penis. Belle always decides how she’ll come, so those numbers indicate her preferences, not mine (with the possible exception of the penis since that’s such an unreliable tool for her).
I’ve come twice in the first half. Once on February 18th and once on June 18th. I ejaculated 18 times without orgasm and was inside her 22 times. One time I got to be inside her and didn’t squirt. That’s an orgasm ratio of about 23:1.
It occurs to me writing this that I haven’t jacked off in about 10 months. That’s easily the longest period of such abstention since I discovered how to do it. Literally the only time the penis gets to feel pleasure is when it’s inside Belle and, of course, that’s exactly how she likes it. If she ever told me I could edge myself with my own hand, I’d jump at the chance since I really like jacking off, but it’s hard to say I miss it since to do it absent permission would be a total contravention of our dynamic. It’s another of those things I crave but do not miss. The only way I could would be by cheating and that seems like not only a violation of her trust but something that’s against my very nature as who I am sexually.
And there goes May! So many projects going on around here, house guests, graduation, not to mention planning and preparation for our imminent departure to Asia for a huge chunk of the summer. But there’s one thing that doesn’t change: I’m still locked up pretty much all the time.
Belle kept the penis locked 99.5% of May which is the highest percentage of the year (exceeding April by a tenth of a percent). It was kept staring at the inside of the Steelheart for about two-thirds of the time while the rest was spent studying the inside of the Halfshell.
It was let out for sex six times for a total of almost four hours which averages to about 40 minutes each time. That’s funny to me since the vast majority of that time is spent satisfying Belle or lounging around after. The time it spent actually fucking couldn’t have been in total more than ten or twelve minutes, tops. So if you count the time she will sometimes stroke it while I’m getting her off, we’re talking 30-45 minutes a month of pleasurable sensation.
Belle came nine times, three on her own, six from my prestidigitation. That’s down by three from April, but as I said, more stuff going on around here.
I came zero times in May, though as I said, I was allowed to fuck her six times. I ejaculated five of those times. As of this writing, it’s been 102 days since my last orgasm. Of course, I have no idea how long it will be until the next one and doubt she does, either.
There’s something I’ve been meaning to write about for the past few weeks but haven’t figured out how or what words exactly to use then I figured I could make it part of this post. It’s funny, but when writing like this sometimes the hardest part is figuring out how to start and, once that’s done, the rest takes care of itself.
Anyway, as hard as it is to quantify as precisely, the thing that goes along with how often I get to come or for how long I’m locked up is how I feel about it all. And lately, I haven’t felt all that great. It’s been about two and half weeks since I felt the bottom drop out and only now am I starting to feel the stirrings of a rally.
I think a common misperception about denial and enforced chastity is that the locked guy gets hornier and hornier and all that awesome frustration energy powers the whole dynamic to ever greater heights. That’s just totally wrong.
Most guys who feel like it get to come all the time. As soon as the slightest amount of sexual frustration builds, they either have sex or take care of themselves. If it were charted, it’d end up looking like with I think of as a hacksaw blade. When a guy is in his teens, his chart would like a fine-tooth saw — lots and lots of little spikes closely packed interspersed with shallow, short valleys. But when he get’s older, the “teeth” become less frequent with larger spaces between, but the basic pattern remains. There is only so horny a normal man will get before he relieves the pressure to come, one way or another.
But if you’re like me, that never happens. And since the pressure never gets relieved, an underlying pattern is exposed. I don’t know if this is the same for all men, but for me the build goes way higher than it would normally. Perhaps five times higher. Then it plateaus for a long time as I reach cruising altitude. After a certain period like that, it will explode higher for brief period then come crashing down. Lower than what it feels like after an orgasm. Like, a depth so low the fish have to make their own light or not bother to have eyes. I can’t say if the cratering is chemical or caused by external issues or if one is exacerbated by the other. All I know is it happens from time to time.
This used to be a real problem. It’s easy to get depressed. I still do, but the difference is I know it’s not permanent. Sooner or later, for reasons I can’t explain, things will start to build again. Right now, I’m still under water but not so deep that sunlight can’t get to me. It feels like I’m moving in the right direction, but I also know there are false glimmers. When I’ll start to feel more normal but then things’ll go south again. I can’t know yet where I am, but this feels like a real rebound.
When I’m in this place, it’s like the flavor is drained from everything. I’m easily angered and have little interest in anything sexual. I will usually be able to perform for Belle, but I’d not think to instigate anything. It has to be her to push the button. This is the time when, if I find a dirty selfie on my phone or computer, I’m most likely to delete them. I don’t look at my own blog, can’t imagine writing anything, and don’t even look at Tumblr. The toys I enjoy during normal times appall me. It’s not any fun at all.
The worst part is how it changes how I see myself. I’ve said before that being locked all the time alters my own perception of myself at a pretty basic sexual level. I feel less like a man and more like something else. That’s not a bad thing. It’s just what it is. But during a crater like I’ve been in I stop feeling like anything. Whichever steel is between my legs is just an inert mass I need to keep clean. I don’t want to be locked, I don’t want to be unlocked. I just don’t care. No energy means no self-perception of identity. And what are we without identity?
I don’t say all this to be a downer. We’ve been doing this long enough for me to know that in my case it’s a normal aspect of long term denial and lock-up. I will come back and will feel good again. If I go all the way back to why I started this blog, it was because at the time there was way more chastity fantasy bullshit being passed off as reality and little real-life experience being related to those who were just starting out. If I ignored this aspect of denial and chastity, I’d be doing a disservice to the sprit of the site. And, I guess, to you as its readers.
Long story short, most of the time I’m in a good place and feel as though the denial and submission are by far net benefits in my life. I can’t imagine really being “normal” again. Not ever. But it’s not all sunshine and unicorns, either. You know, like life.
The other day while looking at Tumblr I noticed something strange. I found myself on someone’s Tumblr that was all men locked in chastity devices which are not normally the kinds of Tumblrs I hang out on or follow because I think most male chastity porn is kind of boring. I’ll post the occasional picture of a guy in a device (not counting my own, of course), but they’re remarkably repetitious (counting my own) and the kinds with captions rarely do anything for me.
So anyway, I will occasionally look at these “show me your locked cock” Tumblrs to see what people are wearing. It’s how I find out about new devices. What I noticed the other day was along with a bunch of metal that looked like cheap Chinese shit you get off Amazon and the occasional Mature Metal or Steelworxx device were a lot of Holy Trainers (v2). Like, at least half were Trainers. I’d guess half as many of those were CB-6000s. This was surprising because my CB-6000 tips and tricks page is still, all these years after I wrote it, the number one page on the site after the homepage. I have no idea why this is because the top search terms WordPress says people are using to find the site now rarely include the CB-6000. So I don’t really know how these people are finding the page, but a lot of them are. Every single day. My review of the Holy Trainer v2 is usually half or two-thirds as popular in any given month.
This bums me out because I’ve assumed these numbers more or less indicate how popular the two devices are and I think the Holy Trainer is far superior to the aging design of the CB-6000. But then I see this Tumblr and all the guys in Trainers and that makes me wonder. What’s going on?
I decided to crowdsource a possible answer. I asked Twitter “If you were recommending a first male chastity device, which would it be?” The poll is still open at the time I’m writing this so it can still change, but as of right now, 99 people have responded and, lo and behold, the Holy Trainer holds a clear lead. Nearly half (48%) say it’s the device they’d recommend to a newbie while the CB-6000 comes in second at just over a third (34%) saying it’s their choice. The Bird Locked comes in a distant third (as it should — not a fan of silicone chastity devices).
The Holy Trainer is, in my opinion, the correct choice. And yes, we’ve been over this before, but that was a few years ago. And it occurs to me I never actually reviewed the CB-6000 because I wasn’t doing that kind of thing when I wore it. So, I shall consider this its review.
The CB-6000 is overly complicated. It has spacers to allow a flexible distance between the tube and the ring and it has multiple ring sizes. That ends up being a dizzying number of size combinations that I used to think was a strength but now think is just too much. It makes people think fitting a device to a penis is tricky when it’s really not that much.
It has a hard-edged A-ring. Trust me, that’s miserable. Not the good kind of discomfort. And for the life of me, I can’t imagine why it’s still like this. The device has been on the market for something close to ten years and it’s never been replaced with a rounded A-ring like the CB-3000 had. It’s never been redesigned to a more ergonomic shape like literally every other plastic device on the planet. It’s still perfectly round and sharp and causing many men all kinds of awful pain that simply isn’t necessary.
It has obnoxious side vents. One might assume they’re for hygiene’s sake, but they’re totally unnecessary and lead to flesh bulging through during erections which in turn leads to soreness and even broken skin. A lot of guys epoxy them over.
It’s the only device I’ve worn that led to the development of edema. That’s the accumulation of fluid under the skin and it’s benign if caught and allowed to dissipate, but it’s uncomfortable. I believe this is caused by the fact that the tube is narrow along the shaft but far more open near the head leading to constriction, even when flaccid.
The tube is made up of two halves joined together. In the early years, they split more often than seemed acceptable. Their design makes that a possibility even now and, from what I’ve been told, there is no pain like the pain of penis skin being trapped and pinched down the entire length of one’s member as an erection goes away.
It still uses a padlock. They bounce around and take up room in your pants. They corrode. They can have sharp edges that poke.
Lastly, and I acknowledge this is subjective, the CB-6000 is simply ugly. It looks like a medical device your grandpa has to wear, not a sex toy. The “fashion” variants (gold, wood grain, camo, etc.) are like when Cadillac made the Cimarron. It was flashy and had lots of Caddy badges, but underneath it was still a Chevy Cavalier.
The Holy Trainer isn’t perfect, but it has none of those issues. It’s A-ring is so much more comfortable and it has never led to edema on me. It doesn’t have vents along the tube (the holes it does have are in the penis head area and don’t lead to the same issues). The tube is solid and made of a more forgiving, comfortable plastic. It’s also far more attractive (basic black is my preferred color). And it’s dead simple. Three parts, including the lock (which is integrated and won’t corrode or stop working).
The biggest improvement I think could be made to the Trainer would be an option of buying it with all three ring sizes. Ring size is the most important element in male chastity and is the difference between a device a guy can keep on for days or weeks at a time and one that can’t stay on overnight. It’s too bad they don’t have a bundled option for newbies to be able to try the different sizes.
There were serval comments to my tweet about “cheap knockoffs” available on Amazon for both the CB-6000 and Holy Trainer. Insert here my standard warning about saving a few bucks while at the same time endangering your one and only penis. Personally, I’d pay the extra $10-50 bucks and get the original, but I’m also the guy who buys genuine Apple Watch bands over their $9 Amazon counterparts.
I think the CB-6000 is a hugely important device for male chastity advocates and enthusiasts. It was the first really popular mass-produced device and undoubtedly led to many men and women (millions?) giving the concept of chastity a try. You know, like Belle and I. But times have moved on. There has been innovation in the space and the CB-6000 has not kept up. It’s a relic from another era.
You all know Steelwerks. No, not Steelworxx, Steelwerks. The Canadian storefront of Chris Miers, an artisan and manufacturer of bespoke hand-made super-premium chastity devices. Usually, Chris works in steel or titanium and has forced those metals into some incredibly intricate and remarkably beautiful configurations. Some are essentially art pieces unto themselves and could easily be displayed on or off the body.
Recently, Chris has begun working with a new material. Lucite might be mistaken for simple plastic, but it’s actually much more interesting than that. It can be milled from a solid block like a metal (as is done by Steelwerks) and it’s technically classified as a glass. The end product is something that feels and looks like glass but with a fraction of the weight and significantly more impact resistance.
It’s perfectly applied to the design Steelwerks offers called the Schandmaske. Basically, the Schandmaske (a German word for “mask of shame”) is a kind of cap that fits over just the head of the penis and is secured through a PA piercing. Due to weight, this would be a very difficult design to wear if it were made of steel, so Chris makes the metal version from titanium. The PA fixing is either a short prince’s wand that locks using the distinctive Steelwerk S-screw or, as in the case of the lucite device I wore, a locking curved barbell. The device is effective as it covers the most sensitive parts of the penis and, since it’s secured to the PA, does not allow stroking of those areas. At least in my case, if I can’t apply pressure to the underside of the penis head I can’t achieve orgasm.
With that preamble, I’ll jump right in. My chastity reviews consider six different attributes: Cost, aesthetic, fit/comfort, security, hygiene, and stealth.
There is nothing bargain about Steelwerks products. If they are not the most expensive chastity devices on the market, they’re right up there. I personally don’t know of any that sell for more. That said, there’s a difference between “luxury” and “premium” and it all has to do with value. In the case of Steelwerks’ devices, what you get for your money is a bespoke device crafted by someone I think of as a real artist. Yes, it’s expensive, but Chris is someone who is obsessively focused on making the very finest product available and there’s a reason so many of his clients return again and again. Besides the obvious quality is his commitment to making for his clients exactly what they wanted when they ordered. Long way to go to say the lucite Schandmaske ranges from $500 to $800 (or even more, I suppose) depending on the specifics of what the client orders. For that money, you get the lucite “cap” custom crafted and measured to your dimensions in your choice of clear, frosted (like mine), black, or red along with a hollow, locking titanium piece of jewelry and two S-screw keys.
Aesthetic and design
I personally find the Schandmaske to have a simple beauty much like something designed by Apple. It’s so clean and purely functional, I can totally imagine Jony Ive extolling its virtues in one of those product launch commercials they do for every new watch or phone. There are no extraneous lines or details. Just the cap and the titanium barbell to keep it in place.
The barbell all by itself is a remarkable piece of craftsmanship. It’s a handmade 2 GA barbell which is larger than the usual 4 GA I normally wear, but getting it in through my piercing was no trouble. Chris included a taper to make insertion easier, but it popped right though without it. Of course, as with all piercings,your mileage may vary. The barbell is hollow and allows for urine to pass through which makes using a urinal a snap. It also makes withdrawing the penis from the cap impossible. The short end of the barbell that goes through the piercing is threaded for the small Steelwerks S-screw. The screw inserts into a collar and they both get secured into the barbell. The S-screw design makes using any other tool to remove it impossible and the collar makes using pliers or a similar tool equally fruitless. The only way the Schandmaske is coming off is either using the S-screw or a hammer and the latter method is not advised.
The cap is actually a composite of two pieces: A collar and a dome. The two are joined permanently during manufacture in such a way they will never come apart. In truth, they become a single piece of lucite. The collar is thicker and narrower than the dome. Once past the collar, the interior opens up to allow the head of the penis more room. During erections, if the device is properly fitted, the collar is too snug to move but not so snug as to restrict circulation. It ends up feeling as though it’s held on with suction, though it’s not.
Since it fits snugly and is anchored to the PA, stroking the head of the penis is impossible. This is what makes devices of this general design work. For me, if I can’t stimulate and apply pressure to the underside of the head of the penis (in the area around the PA itself), I can’t come. Well, not easily anyway. Perhaps eventually I would, but stroking the half of the hard shaft that is exposed just doesn’t do it for me. Again, every penis is a special snowflake so some might be able to get off this way, but not this rabbit.
I chose the frosted option as the black wasn’t yet available. Belle prefers devices in which the penis is not visible and this is the closest I could get at the time it was made.
Fit and comfort
The Schandmaske is a bespoke piece so, assuming your measurements are correct, the fit will be perfect. The key measurements are the circumference of the shaft of the erect penis and the length of the space between the uetheral opening and the PA. Since there’s no A-ring, that’s all you need to know.
In practice, the device is supernaturally comfortable. I often forgot I had it on. There were a few times when, while wearing tighter pants, the penis skin pushed against the edge of the cap and I felt some mild discomfort, but the skin on the penis is, I find, very fragile since it’s nearly always protected by steel. Not sure a normal penis would be so sensitive. Other than that, I had no trouble at all with it after nearly 200 hours of wear.
Since the penis is much more free with the Schandmaske than with other types of devices, I experienced the peculiar sensation of being able to feel the shaft of the penis but not its end. It was as if the head of the penis had been smeared with lidocaine. Interestingly, I found that during erections the cap is so secure that had there not been the collar and screw extending from the bottom I might even have been able to fuck Belle with it on. In any event, I would often reach in to my pants to take a leak and be surprised I was wearing it. I had simply forgotten.
Security in the Schandmaske is total. Perhaps even more than the other locked devices I wear since the design of the barbell screw and collar makes messing around with it pretty much impossible. There’s simply no way this device is coming off. There’s not much more to say.
Of course, the point of the security is to keep a man from being able to have an orgasm or play with his penis. As I said above, I don’t think I could come in this device, though I guess some might. Also, even though I couldn’t stroke it normally, wearing it during an erection will allow some amount of stroking or other kinds of fiddling. So, depending on how you look at it, there may be less security in the Schandmaske than with a trapped-ball device, but I think only a truly motivated cheater would defeat it.
The Schandmaske doesn’t complicate urination at all. There’s a bit of leakage at the point of the piercing but that won’t be new to guys with PAs. Like other devices, it can be hard to ensure the penis is totally drained of urine after going. But cleaning it is very easy and the general lack of interior volume makes it less likely for odor to become an issue.
Visually, the Schandmaske is very stealthy. It never showed though my clothes at all when I was wearing it. There simply isn’t enough of it to make any kind of impression when viewed externally.
That said, when in sweats or other loose fitting clothing like boxers and without pants, the barbell rattles in the cap. Not like a cowbell or anything, but it was noticeable on occasion.
The real stealth value of the Schandmaske is with travel. The titanium is unable to trigger a metal detector and the relative small size of the cap it highly unlikely to trigger a pat-down after a body scan. In many ways, I think it’s the perfect travel companion.
The Steelwerks Schandmaske is a lovely, understated, and remarkably comfortable male chastity device. If you can afford it, it deserves a place in your collection. And your pants.
Pictures of the Schandmaske in action are included after the jump…
For the past several days I’ve found myself thinking more and more about the Steelheart. I had intended to wear the Halfshell for 1,000 hours minimum before even considering asking Belle to change it with another (so I could write a follow-up to its review), but had also somehow figured that wouldn’t happen until sometime in January. Imagine my surprise, then, when I discovered I’ve actually already worn it for over 1,300 hours. Once that figure was in my brain, I jonesed for the Steelheart like Augustus Gloop sucking on Wonka’s chocolate river.
I said something about my intention to ask to be put back into the Steelheart on Twitter and was asked why if the Halfshell was a better fit. It’s true, I think the Halfshell is a fantastic device. In many ways, superior to any other device I’ve worn. Very well fitted to me, so it’s fantastically comfortable. Not unlike the Steelheart, it’s totally secure. Plus, it’s quieter and makes a more natural-looking bulge under my clothes. If this were all about logic, the Halfshell would win every day of the week.
But, I’m not logical. In fact, the need to be in the Steelheart again is more emotional than sensible. For example, there’s a part of me that thinks the Halfshell is almost too easy to wear. It never gives me any reason to complain. Never pinches. Barely wakes me up. I don’t even need to lube the silly thing to wear it comfortably. Some guys will read that and line up for one, I get that. But I think there needs to be a certain level of physical discomfort with enforced chastity. Not the kind of torture that comes with a squared-off plastic A-ring or a tube filled with anti-erection spikes. But just enough to make you know you’re being kept. Truthfully, the Steelheart is probably a little too over that line (especially at 3:00 AM), but the Halfshell is clearly well before it.
There’s also the aesthetics. The Halfshell is ingenious, truly, but I find the clean, simple lines of the Steelheart to be far more attractive. I also very much appreciate how the Steelheart totally hides its contents. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about how the Halfshell might be modified to make it enclose more of the penis and may communicate with Rigid about coming up with a cleaner, custom-designed device, but until then the Steelheart cannot be beat from an appearance standpoint, at least for me (and Belle, but I’m getting to her).
The next motivation is totally mental and distinctly personal. In a real and tangible way, I think of the Steelheart as being a part of me as much as and maybe a bit more than what it protects. I see the Steelheart and I see me (and not just in the reflection). I see the real me. Contained and controlled. Honestly, in those odd times the penis is free and I can look down and see it, it always kind of shocks me to find it like that. I never feel that way about seeing or feeling the Steelheart. The Halfshell never looked to me like something other than not the Steelheart, regardless of how much I admire it. I have an emotional connection to that hunk of steel unlike any other inatimate object save my wedding ring.
Last but certainly not least, the Steelheart is Belle’s favorite. By far. She allowed me to wear the Halfshell and never complained (maybe because it’s the one that looks most like the Steelheart of all I wear), but it wasn’t her preference. Only the Steelheart is. She’d rather see it than the penis. She feels it’s the real me as much as I do. And since she doesn’t have to wear it, the comfort issues aren’t as big a deal to her (within reason, of course — she doesn’t want me to suffer). I want her to have what she wants and I always knew while in the Halfshell that she would have rather had me in the Steelheart. That’s incredibly motivating to me.
So I’m back in it now (requisite photographic proof following the jump). Getting it on, I was reminded that the A-ring’s diameter is a millimeter or two smaller than my right testicle’s and that might not sound like a big deal, but believe me, it is. Since getting them through, I’ve had an on again, off again mild kicked-in-the-balls throb I assume is from the contents getting used to their previous, less forgiving home. I’ve also realized the Steelheart makes a noticeable clickity-clack as I walk around in sweats and no underwear. The Halfshell is totally silent in that circumstance. But whatever. I’m not looking for the least hassle and most comfort, as I said. And once the lock was turned and I was back in, I’ve felt a palpable energy emanating from my crotch. A sense of well-being seperate from the issues of comfort. It doesn’t fit as well, it makes a little more noise and is somewhat more noticeable, and will occasionally pinch…but it’s home.
And did I mention it was Belle’s favorite? Yes it is.
I’m keeping track of when I’m locked up and in what purely for the statistical data. I’ve often said things about how often I think I’m wearing a device or how many times I come in a year, but I don’t really know. I lose track. So I’m using a little time tracking app on my phone to quantify these things. I hope to create a log that covers the whole year.
And I did. December and 2016 have both come to an end and so I have a year’s worth of metrics to look over.
Turns out, it was difficult for me to keep accurate track of the orgasms I had. I think the number is around sixteen. Of those, twelve happened in the first half of the year and the other four happened in the second half. Most of those (all but a handful) were orgasms Belle let me have. The remainer were either accidents while inside her or blatent theft on my part. She was quite generous as 2016 started (far more generous than she had been in 2015, as I recall), but following my camping incident at the end of August, she put the hammer down. I came once more by accident inside her and then not at all until yesterday. I have no idea, of course, what 2017 will bring regarding how often I come, but if the recent past is any indication, it will be a fraction of 2016. I shall endeavor to keep better track this year and am thinking of also tracking hers. Because, you know. You can never have enough metrics. (And for those looking for an early read, she already leads 1-0 on that score.)
I’ve been asked several times what app I use to track which device Belle locks me in and for how long. There are a lot of time tracking apps on the App Store, presumably for those who bill by the hour. The one I use is called ATracker. I set up each device as a seperate task and turn them on or off as she lets me out or puts me back in. I had to pay to be able to unlock unlimited tasks, but it wasn’t much.
December was perhaps the strictest month of the year regarding time locked up, even with some air travel at the start of it. I was in the Halfshell 99% of the time. That equates to eight and a half hours of free penis time out of 744 total hours in the month. I was careful to take the device off just as I was leaving for the airport and packed it in my carry-on (in pieces spread out all over) and put it back on right after security. The majority of the remaining time was when the Halfshell was soaking in vinegar to get really clean. Whatever’s left was when Belle wanted to be fucked.
As I said already, I came once in December on the last day. I’m told the next time that happens will be a long time from now.
For the year, Belle had me locked up for a total of 6,799.5 hours. That’s the equivalent of 283.3 days or 77% of the time. The Steelheart, always Belle’s first choice, was on me for 54% of that time. Had the Halfshell not come along, it would have been more like 70%.
The Halfshell has been my near constant companion since it showed up and has been on me almost 1,300 hours, or about fifty-four days, accounting for 15% of the time I was locked up on the year. The Jail Bird came in a distant third ahead of the Looker 02 and the Holy Trainer, but they were pretty much all the same.
Breaking the year into thirds, it’s clear things got more serious as the months went by. I was free 30% of the time through April and 35% of the time through August. There were a few months where I was unlocked far more than I as locked. To be honest, by mid year I was feeling like the wheels were kind of coming off our chastity and denial dynamic. I was out too much and coming too frequently and it all culminated with me jacking off by myself more than once. Luckily, though, I was able to get my head on straight again by the end of summer, not coincidentally when Belle doubled-down on her control over me and started to lengthen my denial.
I’m going to keep tracking in 2017 mostly because I’ve become so used to doing it and to stop would seem weird. The data-loving nerd in me wishes I had this information going all the way back to the first day of being locked, but I don’t. Best I can do is keep it going. However, as always, this is simply me reporting what Belle decides to do and is not meant to be something that influences her choices. If anything, it can inform her decisions since she often loses track of some details (such as forgetting it had been three months since I last came), but I don’t lobby or cajole or do anything else other than what she wants.
And with that, I hope everyone who read to the bottom of this boring post has a happy and prosperous 2017!