Penises, it turns out, can be trained. Well, at least the brain circuitry that controls it can, but I like to refer to the penis as if it’s an independent being, so just work with me.
For example. The night before she left on her girlfriend’s weekend, Belle let me get her off. I liked it. A lot. It was fantastic feeling her pleasure knowing I was giving it to her. I pressed the steel into her leg while she came and felt the cool cruel cutting of denial as the wave of sensation crested inside her and knowing my experience was ending, too. But, the penis didn’t get hard. Maybe a little plump, but not a boner. Had it not been locked up, it certainly would have been as stiff as possible.
Another example. I tend the porn farm every day. Sometimes several times a day. If I’m out of the device, the penis will react and I’ll play with it and coax its fluids out without orgasm. Those sessions go on a bit longer than the locked variety for obvious reasons. However, when locked (as I am now) looking at images I find to be just as hot and invoking in me the same longing feelings as when unlocked, the penis barely twitches. Occasionally it’ll try to rise to the occasion, but the vast majority of the time, zilch. Same penis, same stimuli, different reactions.
A penis that is locked up all the time is not like one that isn’t. This doesn’t happen overnight. It didn’t used to be this way. But it is now. Also, this isn’t any kind of erectile disfunction because, as I said, when it’s unlocked it works just fine. Also, every fucking morning the erectile plumbing is going full blast. But a good, satisfying erection (let alone the ability to play with it) is one more thing a chronically locked guy is denied.
This morning, as I was waking up, I was laying there with the remnants of penile nocturnal tumescence filling the tube. Not full-on morning wood which is often uncomfortable in its ferocity, but a nicely constricted erection. I was on my stomach and grinding it into the mattress just reveling in the feeling of having a hard-on. Not a normal one, of course, but what I get now. Even if it’s not available, I like having erections now as much as I ever did.
In other penis news, I recently found a website called The Visualizer. The rest of this post contains NSFW images, so I’m placing it behind a jump.
In further evidence that men think a lot about their penises (if not actually with them), The Visualizer lets you see how your little buddy stacks up against the erectile tissue of others. Not only specific porn stars, but also averages from various studies on the topic and other members of the site (many of which have proven their size with imagery). Here are comparisons of Belle’s penis to a variety of others.
I, in all my 5 5/8″ long, 4 7/5″ around glory, on the left, Durex condoms average is on the right. The site always puts the larger penis on the right. In this case, Durex found the average penis to be 6.5″ long and 5.2″ around; somewhat larger than other averages like Kinsey’s. Speaking of which…
The average Kinsey found was 6.1″ long. Belle’s is still shorter, but just as big around.
LifeStyles broke their survey into three average groups: Small, Medium, and Large. In this case, Belle’s ekes out a win over the smallish average penis by about a quarter inch in length and about a tenth of an inch in girth. Pretty sure that would put me in the “Average – Small” category, if on the high end.
The last one I’m including is the “perfect” cock size according to Penis Size Debate. Their chart has been floating around for a while now and is most likely crap, but as you can see, Belle’s is miles away from the smallest “perfect” cock.
Here’s a chart the The Visualizer helpfully produces comparing your meat with a variety of others.
One of the unexpected kinks unearthed in my brain as a result of either letting more and more of them be unearthed and/or from having the penis locked away from me for so long and/or soaking in a hormonal soup 24/7 is a real and palpable affinity for small penis humiliation. There was a time in my life when seeing the penis show up so low on a chart of averages would have affected me. Thing is, it still affects me, but in an opposite way. Not withstanding what I said earlier about the penis getting hard less often while locked up, finding this site and spending time on it made it quite hard.
For whatever reason, I find I now get turned on by the idea that the penis is on the small side. Belle both inadvertently inflates and deflates this kink. On the one hand, she’s shown a lot less interest in the penis lately, even when it’s available, preferring other methods of stimulation. On the other hand, she’s said to me many times (even before the advent of enforced chastity in our relationship) that she thought the penis was the perfect size. In Belle’s previous marriage, her husband was apparently very well endowed. So much so that Belle said it was an issue in sex. It could be that Belle’s obvious reassurances are out of concern that I might have at one point felt inadequate compared to him (I never did) or that she just prefers less gigantic penises or both. In any event, wishing that she’d now call the penis tiny and question its ability to get her off is a fantasy I would not have predicted having at any point in my life. Yet there is it.
Finally, I have added a new layer of security to the emergency key status question. A little while back, I added a log of the numbered key lock tags to every page on the site (over there on the right). Now, I’ve also included a new page in which the lock will be shown with a dated image of the New York Times in order to prove that the key is secure. This is perhaps overkill, but it’s par for the course, isn’t it?