February Metrics


IMG_1359February continued the weirdness of January. Trips, illnesses, etc., conspired to keep us apart and/or make our time together non-optimal.

I was outside a chastity device three times for a total of just over two hours in February, or about three tenths of one percent of the month. I was in the Steelheart mostly (nearly 60%), but when I travelled, I used the Holy Trainer v2 rather than the v3 because I like it better. The remaining time, I was in the Halfshell.

Belle came eight times which is bang-on her average and a bit higher than January. I gave her half of those via prestidigitation and she gave herself the other half. She allowed me to come zero times in the month leaving me at zero for the year so far.

I was allowed inside her three times but issues with a reluctant erection meant only two were successful. I leaked both times I was inside her. The morning I couldn’t get it up she let me jack off for a short while which was nice. It’s been well over a year since I was allowed to do that just for the sake of doing it. I leaked a bit.

In my last post, I said, “It’s a fact that she just doesn’t think about me being locked all the time,” and Belle wanted me to know (so I’m telling you) that that’s not the case. She says she thinks about me being locked up all the time. It’s nice to hear that, of course. I think the second half of that sentence, “And there’s really nothing in her mind that should keep me from being that way,” is still accurate.

Belle’s out of town this morning, but I think this is the last time we’ll be apart over a weekend for a little while. I have more trips planned in the month, but they’re during the week. At the end of the month, we have Spring Break to California. So…still not a normal month. What were those like, again?

Sick makes six

Belle left this morning for Mexico where she’ll be with a friend until late next week. No, not that kind of friend. A female friend.

We had one whole weekend together between the three weeks we didn’t see each other and this trip and she’s still getting over the lingering remnants of her bout with the flu while I was more or less in the midst of mine. Regardless, she let me get her off twice but made no move towards nor comment on the key or my locked state. Especially the second time, that led to incredibly tight and painful erections.

At some point during the previous few weeks or so, I pointed out that in the past she’d let me out of chasity when I was feeling really sick. She just sort of laughed and commented on how that was true but also how much stronger I was now than then. It’s a fact that she just doesn’t think about me being locked all the time and there’s really nothing in her mind that should keep me from being that way, short of the TSA or a doctor visit (and even then, only one that might involve the penis).

Those who think it’s a form of cheating when Belle lets me out to fuck and subsequently leak ejaculate into her (without orgasm) should be pleased to hear I’ve been locked up without any kind of relief for five weeks. Based on schedules, the next opportunity to get out will make it six weeks. I have been in and out of different devices during that time since I have been and will be traveling, but it’s been the Steelheart for the bulk of that period and I haven’t seen hide nor hair of the penis in weeks.

She was gone pretty early for her flight so I woke up alone clutching at and stroking a very full tube. I rarely suffer from blue balls anymore, even when I haven’t been out for a while, but six weeks is going to be some kind of record. I can’t recall being locked up without access to her pussy for that long since I started tracking such things. In any event, I’m really starting to feel it. There’s the regular old enforced chastity and orgasm denial she practices and then there’s this. My balls feel especially swollen and I can tell there’s a built up load inside me craving to get out. A short trip on a big dildo would undoubtedly work a lot of that out.

It’s at times like this that knowing where the key is starts to gnaw at me.

As hard as this is, there’s a part of me that appreciates it. The part that knows this is exactly what I need and want. That this is what’s best for the kind of man I am. That part does get into debates with the part of me that feels guilt about her not getting fucked when I know she likes to feel that, but the trump card the first part plays in those situations is she decides what we do and I go along with it so shut up.

So…I’m going along. Either she didn’t think I was well enough to fuck (not true) or didn’t want to fuck me when I was sick or simply didn’t want to be fucked or not as much as she wanted me to stay locked up while she got off, I can’t say. And it’s not my job to figure it out. I’ll stay locked up for exactly as long as she wants me to be and will be grateful for both being locked up and being let out.

January metrics

IMG_0996I spent all month forgetting that January has 31 days in it, not 30. Not that it really matters, but it would be so much more convenient for everyone if months had the same number of days in them.

Anyway, Belle and I were only together about eight days this month. That led to way less penis free time and far fewer trips into the pussy but a relatively respectable number of orgasms for Belle.

She came seven times which is one less than her 2017 monthly average. Five of those she gave herself, naturally, since she was alone. It’s possible she had more since she was kind of forgetful in letting me know. I, of course, had no orgasms in January.

I was unlocked a paltry one quarter of one percent of the month. Just two hours and five minutes. The average from 2017 was 97.9%, so 99.75% is…more. Doesn’t sound like a lot, but I can feel the difference.

Since Belle was away and I could wear whatever I wanted, I was in six different devices. The Steelheart was again number one with 42% of the time but the Holy Trainer v3 nano made a good showing owing to the two work trips I made in the month. I also wore the Halfshell for about a week and micro for a few days. I even dabbled with the metal Holy Trainer (which I can confirm I still don’t like) and tried the Looker 02 for a bit before deciding it was bugging me. I was only able to fuck Belle twice, which isn’t much of a surprise.

Belle is still sick and now I’ve got it, so it’s unclear when we’ll get back into the swing of things. She has a trip to Mexico planned with her girlfriends later in the month and I’m traveling again for work (though this time I’ll probably wear the Holy Trainer v2 rather then the v3 nano). Regardless, I know she’s really wanting some attention from me and I badly need to make her come, so I sense some sick sex is in our future.


I got home Thursday to the only night in three and a half weeks Belle and I would be together. She got back from Asia on Tuesday several hours after I left for Southern California and she left Friday for Europe until mid-next week.

As soon as I got home, I swapped the Holy Trainer v3 nano out for the Steelheart and expect to be wearing it for the indefinite future. As I was doing so, and as soon as the penis felt air, it started to swell. I wasn’t even thinking dirty thoughts, but it knew it was out of confinement and Belle was in the house and any chance it had at all to feel warm wetness (or, really, any pleasurable sensation at all) was right then.

Except Belle came home from Asia with a nasty cold and I’m not horny enough to dive into that and get it myself (though, after later consideration, I am left wondering if one can catch cold from performing cunnilingus). In any event, I pushed and prodded and shoved the chubbed out meat into the steel tube and turned the lock.

It was tight (and stayed that way for a while — the penis was pissed), but I felt the usual sense of…I dunno. Comfort. Safety? Security in the emotional sense (as well as the restrictive, physical sense). Bottom line, the Steelheart, even with it’s too-tight A-ring and occasional pinching between the PA jewelry and fixing, is home. Everything else feels like sleeping on the road.

The few comments on my previous post about locks and security and trust has me thinking. In response to me calling hiding the key “theater,” Tom said…

I’d say that some people really do want more believability in their theater. That is, playing the game, or as I like to say, running the script in your head with fewer willing suspensions of disbelief makes it better.

Suspension of disbelief is a critical element of chastity (and, to a larger extent, most of BDSM). I get that. The less suspension, the better. But I’ve been wondering how much is enough for me? How much “theater” do I need to make this dynamic work? Or, to put it the other way, what’s the minimum amount of theater I need?

Device-less chastity would be the least amount of theater for someone like me. Schnoff mentioned how he’s not kept in a device. His chastity is based on willpower, though he admits it’s imperfect (as are we all). He takes exception with the idea I need a device to maintain my chastity, but ours has been defined differently. Bear allows him to masturbate while Belle does not want me doing that. As well-intentioned and invested as I am in our dynamic, I have never demonstrated an ability to keep my hands off the erection when it’s available and needy. Before Belle moved me to an essentially continuous state of lock-up, I used to edge myself all the time (usually in the shower, though there was a time she let me do it right there in bed next to her while she slept), up to and beyond the point of ejaculation, though not orgasm. If Belle ever let me be unlocked for long periods but still expected me not to jack off, I feel like I’d go crazy. I mean, literally, the temptation and distraction would make me nuts. So no, for me anyway, “no device” is not nearly enough theater. I would suck at that.

Another thing Schnoff said about chastity devices is…

Toys are that, toys. No matter how hot.

I simply don’t think of chastity devices as toys at all. I mean, yes, I do acknowledge they fall into the broad category of sex toys, but they’re so much more. The Steelheart is me. It completes me, is an extension of me, and makes me feel more whole than when it’s absent. Sort of how one feels weird without their wedding ring on, but at deeper level. A ring represents commitment and love and a chastity device does, too, but it’s commitment at an entirely different scale. Not only a sign that I’ve joined my life with someone else, but that I’ve given to them my heart and my body. It’s a physical manifestation of my submission. A constant physical reminder of Belle’s wishes and requirements. Plus, the metaphor of the lock and key represents the hole a submissive feels within that can only be filled by loving domination.

In these ways, the Steelheart is me and her and our dynamic all in one. Profoundly significant and in no way a simple toy. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Moving up the scale from nothing is a silicone chastity device. These are worthless because their stretchy, flexible nature make stimulation of the penis ridiculously possible. They simply don’t do the job for which they’re intended. Also, I just don’t care for how they look. Appearance is a critical element for me because chastity devices are not just functional tools.

Moving up from silicone is plastic. The only reasonably acceptable plastic device I’ve worn is the Holy Trainer. The others are all too complicated and/or ugly and/or downright excruciating to wear. The HTv3 nano is barely acceptable in that, as I said in my review, it leaves critical parts of the penis accessible to stimulation. It does prove to be just enough of a deterrent that I can resist partaking in that stimulation, but I don’t like it being possible. In that way, the HTv3 nano is the minimum amount of theater I require.

Of course, the Holy Trainers have no PA fixing option so I could pull out the back. Being able to pull out is not a deal breaker, but I vastly prefer not being able to. That’s a level of theater I truly crave. I don’t pull out when I can and suspend disbelief regarding my ability to do so, but a device with a PA fixing is way, way hotter for me than one without. Removing the disbelief about being able to escape amps up the experience, for sure. Also, it adds a calming element in that I don’t need to expend any energy pretending to myself that it’s inescapable.

Steel is my preferred material for devices. I have borderline fetish for stainless at this point. Not just the look of it, but how it feels. Its heft and how it goes on cold but then warms like an extension of my body. I’ve considered other metals like titanium but wonder if I’d like them as much since they’re so much lighter. Feeling the device flop and pull as I turn in bed is a definite plus.

Beyond that, preferred devices are simple and hide the penis. The Half Shell is very comfortable and quite shiny, but busy looking and complicated and doesn’t protect the entire shaft from viewing or touching. The Looker 02 is simple, but the penis is mostly visible (though the head is hidden). The Jail Bird is also quite simple, but shows far too much meat. The Steelheart is the best of all in that it’s sleek and steel and totally encases the penis. It’s not perfect in that the PA fixing does have some fiddly bits, though they’re all hidden inside. Its ring is too tight and it can occasionally pinch between the PA jewelry and fixing. The bottom of the penis shaft can also pinch where it joins my balls and meets the bottom of the tube.

Sometimes, the lack of any discomfort from a device is in itself a form of theater I miss. I don’t think enforced chastity should be excruciating, but I also don’t think it should be a walk in the park. I like that the Steelheart is tight and can bite from time to time. That discomfort is part of the symbolism of submitting to being denied in this way. Being denied orgasm is not easy. It’s hard and the cravings to come or even touch myself are often powerful. I like the device fighting back a bit and reminding me I chose the more difficult path. In fact, that I require the more difficult path.

Bottom line, this form of submission is very complicated. It’s not a straight line and everyone is going to practice it in their own way. The way that feels the best and make the most sense to them. The fact that it’s a two-person dynamic only makes the number of variations that much more numerous. All you can do is work on it and find the level of theater you both need…while never forgetting the keyholder is the star of the production. The keyheld is just the one holding the spotlight.

Of trust and locks

Tom wrote a thing about keys. Go ahead and read it if you haven’t already, but long story short, Mrs Edge took all the keys, even the “emergency” one, and has left poor Tom without any.

But not having a key at my disposal at all? To go all day, every day, for weeks, maybe months with not even an opportunity for access to a key? The idea of turning that absolute control over to her was surprisingly hot for both of us. Remember, on these devices, there’s no padlock, no locking pins, and certainly nothing to be broken or cut. That cage is not coming off without actual power tools.

And it made me think about a conversation that was happening on Twitter a few days ago about keys and locks and I said something about the real lock being the trust a keyholder has in he who they lock. This is more or less what I was talking about when I said, “The very best chastity device is the one between your ears.”

Locks and keys and access to keys and where the key is and if she’s wearing it around her neck or giving it to her friend (boy?) for safe keeping (you wish) or leaving it in her desk drawer at work or what have you really gets a locked guy’s crank cranked. I get it, believe me. The key becomes…the key. Where is it? What’s she doing with it? Did she bring it? What if she looses it? Ooo, there it is! Etc.

First of all, what Tom says in his post is true. The emergency key idea is kind of bunk. I can remember the number of times needing an “emergency” key in the approaching ten years I’ve been locked up on one hand. And most of those times, I didn’t have it and I survived each time (look, here I am writing this thing). In a real emergency, neither Tom or I or you would have time to get to the key anyway. In reality, emergency keys are convenience keys. And most of the time, access to the key is planned for planned things like air travel or medical procedures.

Except when all that is on its head.

Belle doesn’t hide the key. She’s been gone for two weeks and she left it behind. I know exactly where it is. I have my own key all nicely secured in a locked thing (and I sometimes even remember where it is), but it doesn’t matter. If I need the key for whatever reason, I know how to get to it. She knows I know all this, too. Belle just doesn’t seem to care about the key as an object of power. She could, but choses not to. It’s not the significant thing in our dynamic. She trusts me to do the right thing and follow the rules.

This flies in the face of the One True Way to do enforced male chastity, I know. It probably seems a bit of a let down for some. But what I’ve grown to understand is that key obsession goes against the spirit of submission. I submit to Belle, not her key. My involved fantasies about how the key should be handled are my fantasies. If she wants to play a game with it and where it is and keep it hidden, etc., that’s her choice. For me to require her to do so because I can’t be trusted knowing where it is puts too high a burden on her to play this game my way.

I said on Twitter just this morning…

Man, that sounds like a guy who really should not know where his key is. But what the fuck would the point of all this be if I took the key and used it to give myself relief? And what’s the functional difference in knowing exactly where it is (a little box in her nightstand drawer) versus hunting all over for it on a desperate search?

I have no time at all for men who can’t be trusted to hold up their end of the deal when it comes to enforced chastity. Slipping out the back of an unsecured device for a quick wank is the same as using the key to take the whole thing off for the same reason. I do understand how security adds to the hotness of the situation (an inescapable device and a mysterious key), but just like at the airport, it’s all theater. The keyholder should set the terms of their keyheld’s containment and he should respect and honor their wishes. Maybe they do some things because the keyheld wants it or likes it, but that’s optional for them. What’s not optional for he whose junk is locked is following their rules.

Since Belle’s been gone, I’ve been in six different devices. Just because I could. She has no rules about what I’m locked into, just that I’m locked. And my travel during her trip has required me to be in the Holy Trainer which is fine for travel but I far prefer metal when I have the option. I’ll be using her key to put myself back in the Holy Trainer tomorrow since I have to fly again. I might even take it with me so I can swap into the Steelheart before flying back. Crazy, right? Madness. But not really.

For me, the thing is the device. When it’s on, it’s fucking well on. I don’t take it off for reasons other than health, national panic, alien invasion, etc. When it’s off, I’m a basket case and really can’t be trusted. The flesh is weak. The mind, too. A hard shaft in a hand is a potent thing to a guy who comes once every 12 weeks, on average. But that’s why the device is there. That’s why she requires I wear it. And I have accepted that submission willingly and wholeheartedly.

Truth is, to succeed at enforced male chastity over the long-term, you have to want to be locked up. You have to like it. You have to crave it. We are party to our own imprisonment. I fully admit to all those things. If I ever fucked up so bad she stopped locking me up, I’d be miserable. She knows that. It’s the ultimate leverage she has over me: My fear of her withdrawing her domination. My burning desire to submit and give her control over the penis is what keeps me honest. I always always want that. I’m not fooling anybody.


Year-end metrics

Welp, here we are at the start of a new year. That means 2017’s metrics project is in the can. Thousands of hours, a handful of chastity devices, scores of orgasms (for her) and still just the one penis.


IMG_0656The final month of the year was all about the Steelheart. Nearly 99% of the time I was locked, I was in the Steelheart. For the remainder of the time, the penis was left staring at the inside of the Holy Trainer v3 (for which I still have a review to write). I was unlocked for less than 1% of the month (.07% to be precise). That’s just a tad bit more than I was unlocked in November, but still hovering right around the 99% locked average Belle’s established (throwing out the oddball September). I’d chalk up the extra hour out in December vs. November to device maintenance. I gave the Steelheart a thorough cleaning and polish just before Christmas that easily could have taken an hour (vinegar soak plus buffing, etc.).

We had a house guest one weekend and no sex for those few days so I was worried Belle’s orgasm count would suffer, but the holiday break helped boost that to a respectable nine. Seven were administered by my and two she took into her own hands. She let me fuck her six times which is well above average but equal to November. Still making up for October, perhaps. I ejaculated each time I was inside her. One time resulted in a full-fledged (and authorized) orgasm because I dunno maybe she was spoiling me.

January is going to be a weird month due to her work travel and mine. I won’t be seeing her except for one mid-week night in the month after this Sunday. However, she’ll be traveling through London at one point, so…who knows what’s going to happen.


IMG_0657So now for the big numbers. All tolled, the penis was secured for 8,578.28 hours out of a total possible of 8,760. That’s 97.9% of the time. Had September been a normal month, that percentage would have gone north of 99%, but it wasn’t. Two-thirds of the time the penis was free happened in September.

The Steelheart was utilized more than any other device and accounted for nearly half the time I was locked up. The Halfshell was second but was still nearly 1,000 hours behind. The remaining 18% of the locked-up time was divided between seven different devices.

Belle had 97 orgasms in 2017. That’s an orgasm ratio of about 19:1 since I was allowed five. I was pretty sure she was going to keep me to four since the rate had been a regular once per quarter but one more slipped in at the start of December.

Screenshot 2018-01-04 15.44.50Sixty-three of Belle’s orgasms came from my fingers. Twenty-five she created all on her own (I don’t track how those were brought about since that’s all about her). Five were the result of me using the vibrator on her clit and two each came from me performing oral on her and her riding the penis. Of course, it’s a crap shoot when it comes to using the penis since my trigger is highly sporadic and typically very short but I’d be very happy to go down on her more if she wanted me to.

She averaged eight orgasms a month with the highest frequency being April with 12 and the lowest being June with just four.

I was allowed inside her 46 times over the course of the year. That’s just under four times a month. Three months tied for the most frequent number with six (May, November, and December) and the least amount being zero in Locktober.

At this point, keeping track of all these things has become something of a habit. I will continue to do so in 2018 and for as long as she lets me.



A new year, a new batch of questions…

Puppy Aslan woofed:

I am a young puppy and my Master wants to keep me in chastity 24/7. He has a CB2000 but it is not very safe. We are planning to buy one from which I can not escape. We have thought about Steelheart with PA fixing and Looker 02. But he does not like the idea of putting me a PA. So Looker 02 could be a good option. I use the bike for daily commute and I practice swimming three times. The maximum that I have wore a chastity device have been 2 months and I have tested the sounding a few times and I loved it. We are concerned about hygiene (my Master likes dirty play) and the possibility of injury (I am a sporty puppy). What do you recommend? Do you have any advice?

I think a device with an urethral insert would be a bad fit for you. One, you mention “dirty” play and the insert makes issues like UTIs far more likely. Also, I don’t imagine a solid insert would work well with biking. Either you’re going to need to be OK with the less secure insert-less and PA-less devices or your master is going to need to get over his aversion to a PA.

Altergo asked:

Thumper, Firstly, thanks for having this blog. I feel like it would be ridiculous to write to or speak about this with someone that doesn’t already have the desire to have erections and orgasms controlled. My Wife and I have been experimenting with a CB-6k off and on for the last few months and I know we are both enjoying it. Although we have no plans to make this a full time lifestyle, we are going to use chastity as a sexual reward system for things I want.

We discussed this topic at length last night, I in my cage and she delicately stroking my balls while laying naked beside me. Of all the rewards, the one I want most requires 30 days locked up. How do you prepare yourself to do that kind of time without a release? Or, do you get releases during long stretches?

I don’t really do much of anything in preparation. Belle allows me orgasm about once every three months (on average) and, other than the times she wants the penis for sex, I’m locked up. It’s more a mental thing than a physical one, I’ve found.

The thing that struck me as interesting about your question is wanting a longer lock up period as a reward. This makes perfect sense to me since once I started being denied and locked up I wanted to be denied and locked up for longer and longer periods, but it’s probably something the newbie would find counter-intuitive.

We discussed a system by which I could earn a day off each day I let her edge me to orgasm and go back in. is that something you have tried? I mean it would be nice to get out and breathe a bit, but I think it would be impossible to will an erection away after a while.

Edging is wonderful. Belle used to let me do it to myself before I lost that privilege. Getting rid of an erection after a session of edging can be difficult. I’d recommend either a package of frozen peas on the offending penis or, if that doesn’t work (and it doesn’t always), an ice-cold shower.

What is your opinion on prostate milking? Does it relieve desire at all or just build up?

Prostate stimulation can help express built up seminal fluids but it will do nothing at all to relieve sexual frustration. Quite the opposite, in fact. But be careful since some men can orgasm from nothing else but prostate stimulation.

Kinkyandperky posed:

Thanks for collating all your reviews – your dedication to the cause does you proud. I wanted to tap into your expertise with a question, as a reasonably experienced user looking to upgrade.

So I have had a silicone device which I used for 3-4 months, until the end of my last D/s relationship. This was my first device and it taught me a LOT, in particular, how to develop workarounds to overcome the numerous problems that seemed to crop up. I am now in a new D/s and wanting to get a new device, upgrading to metal; I have my eye on a few ‘semi-solid’ styles (not sure what the technical term for them is), but I have some concerns about overcoming old problems – and wanted to consult your expertise, because I don’t know whether what I experienced last time was a product of the device or an occupational hazard one has to work around.

The main thing is keeping the device in place – I found the ring slipping off an issue not so much because of shrinking balls (though that was sometimes the issue) but it seemed like, the need to push the penis one side or the other inside trousers had the effect of easing it off in the course of a day and it never felt secure. Would metal make it worse, being heavier, or are there some obvious pointers to think about pre-purchase. I developed a harness as a workaround, but my Domme wants to rule out a harness on aesthetic grounds.

This sounds like an A-ring that’s too big. Your balls should not be slipping out ever or for any reason. Perhaps you have unusually small testicles, but more likely, you just need a smaller ring. I wrote a thing once about getting the size right.

Also, as a circumcised man, are there any issues or styles I need to avoid or, indeed, would be better off with?

No, a circumcised penis is the best kind to lock up.

Finally, I noticed in some comments made elsewhere on a blog post, you were a bit down on the House Of Denial as a supplier, though I have liked the look of several of their styles, and whether this was on grounds of quality, design or what. A number of the styles you review above are fully enclosed, so if you didn’t like the HoD, I was interested in pointers towards decent supplier of a semi-solid/semi-cage style like the HoD S87. Using good old Mr Google directs me towards the non-specialist suppliers or HoD.

Thanks for any help you can provide.

House of Denial sells a metal knockoff of the Holy Trainer and in my review I noted that it was unfinished inside the tube to such an extent that it injured me during what I consider typical wear. I cannot recommend any retailer or manufacturer that would knowingly sell a substandard product like that.

The device you like appears to be a knockoff of one of several of the devices made by Steelworxx. Mature Metal also has one that looks kind of like it. I’d advise going with one of them, even though it will cost you more.

Good luck, everyone!