A couple of unrelated things

First thing…

I had a weird dream last night. I don’t often have sexual dreams, even in my denied state, but this one was. I was at some office or meeting place or something with this other guy. I knew who he was (we had come together) but he wasn’t anyone I know in real life. The people we were there to meet never showed up or were late or something and next thing I knew he was unzipping his pants and shoving my face into his crotch. This didn’t seem strange to me in the dream but I know it wasn’t a common occurrence in the dream world since I was pleasantly surprised to find his dick was on the large side. After I started sucking him off, I found myself naked but never actually got undressed (you know how it is in dreams). The dude I was blowing was fully clothed which had me in that awkward spot of being the only locked-up naked dude giving blow jobs in the conference room (not again) and, of course, the door was open. I think I saw a secretary or something sitting outside in plain view of what was going on. He kept trying to reach down and grab the penis on me but it was locked (in a CB-6000, oddly) and I was trying to hide that fact and keep him from finding it out, but he eventually did get his hand on it. I could feel the heat on my face as I blushed but I kept sucking him. He didn’t say anything. Somehow, I knew he expected to find it that way. Then he started to shoot his load with his cock shoved deep down my throat so that I swallowed it all but didn’t get to taste any of it, but my gag reflex must not exist in dream world since there was none of that. And then the dream ended.

Second thing…

I was in the gym with the trainer dude the other morning and he was having me do bench presses on the Smith Machine, but these weren’t normal presses. He wanted me to push the bar off my chest and toss it up away from myself and catch it on the way down (on a Smith, the bar is on rails so it wouldn’t have gone flying across the room or anything). I had never done this before and while it seemed perfectly safe, I put the safety stops up so that on the odd chance I missed or couldn’t hold the bar, it wouldn’t land on my chest and crush my ribcage. That’d suck.

Anyway, the thing about weight training with another guy is whenever you do something like that, you get shit for it. Like how I wear gloves to work out in because I don’t have nasty callouses on my hands or put the pad on the bar when I do squats so it doesn’t press directly onto my spine. But, you know. It’s all in good fun. Or something.

So yeah, I put the stop in and the trainer dude gives me shit. Something like, “Oh, you need some protection or something? Is that like your chastity device?”

I shit you not. He says this (or something very close to it). And I think a couple of things at once. First, what the fuck sense does that make? How do you go from the built-in safety feature on a weight machine to a chastity device? Second, even with my odd bulges and weird muffled clanking, he’s obviously not ever caught on because then he said…

“You know what a chastity device is, don’t you? You know what it’s used for?” in a tone like he’s telling me some kind of clever dirty joke or something.

“Yeah, I got a pretty good idea what it is.”

You might think that was some kind of passive-aggressive way of him saying to me he had caught on at some point, but trust me, he hasn’t. No clue.

In any event, I did the weird presses just fine. No crushed bones or anything.

10 Replies to “A couple of unrelated things”

  1. Great dream and great post … but then again, they pretty much all are … I just had to say even though I know it would have been awkward etc etc etc I SO wanted to “hear” you say, “What? You mean like this?” (and then show him yours.) “Yeah, I have a clue what chastity devices are.” What I wouldn’t have given to be a fly on the wall had that happened!

    1. Yeah, I was thinking afterward that if I was ever going to tell him, that would have been the time, but he’s just not that kind of guy. If it had been the dude who cuts my hair, I totally would have spilled the beans, but no, not with trainer dude.

  2. Holy hot dream, Batman! LIke you, I don’t have gag reflex in Dream World. But I can’t ever taste anything when I’m in that particular alternate universe either. Which is probably a good thing, come to think of it, because I have major texture issues.

    And what the hell kind of trainer gives you shit for following safety protocols? HE should be the one setting the stops. Moron. Glad to know your bones are all still in one piece.

    1. And what the hell kind of trainer gives you shit for following safety protocols? HE should be the one setting the stops. Moron. Glad to know your bones are all still in one piece.

      Yeah, seriously. When I saw a trainer a few years back, he was a gym rat, but still concerned about setting the safety stops. BTW, I’ve got my own Smith, and I *always* set the stops on bench presses or squats.

      But then, I also know what a chastity device is.

      Cheezus, WTF was *that* all about, huh?

      1. Belle thinks it was a very odd thing to say and that there may be something behind it (she’s seeing the same guy now), but all I know is at the time it seemed very obvious to me he was just making one of his macho-lame jokes.

      2. Oh, and I wear gloves, too. And I have a bar pad for the squats. Sheesh.

        Every sport has the Keepers of the Flame of Purity. I lurk at several weight training groups because I want to pick up tips, but I also see the “You wouldn’t need a bar pad if you built up your traps, you sissy boy” attitudes. Really?

        I do pretty well at bicycling, but I carry a small tool kit in a seat bag, don’t shave my legs, and ride with the toe straps & sneakers instead of the $300 shoes & special pedals. That makes me a non-entity to some of the local guys. Fortunately, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more mature about that kind of thing, and just stick to what I want to do.

        tl;dr: people be crazy, yo.

  3. Nice post….got me thinking about a video I saw that you might like…*http://www.xvideos.com/video1768121/marc_dylan_massage…Don’t know if you ever saw this guy, but it’s almost a merging of your two fantasies in one hot video…Hope you like it!

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