Belle’s analogy

At some point yesterday, I was showing Belle something on the Facebook and a message from Drew popped up. There’s no telling what he might be saying (or showing) so I quickly flicked the pop-up away and we kept doing whatever it was we were doing. I was 22% flummoxed.

Last night, as we were laying in bed going to sleep, she told me I didn’t have to worry about going out of my way to hide how and when I message him. It wasn’t a big deal to her. Also, she volunteered that she thought about my time with Drew as not being unlike when she went for a mani-pedi. A treat for myself that just doesn’t involve her. Without the noxious fumes.

In addition, she’s given her approval for me to go to LA with Drew over some weekend this summer to take in a ballgame in my hometown. Haven’t picked the dates yet and I need to figure out the logistics around the various metal detectors I’ll encounter (not just at the airport — MLB stadiums all have them now, too). I may need her to either let me wear plastic rather than the Steelheart or we’ll need to figure out some kind of picture-sending thing to ensure security.

I tell you this for no other reason than to point out what an exceptional spouse I have. Opening our marriage up in this way has only made it stronger.

With that, I wish all my readers a very merry Christmas and joyeux Noel.

4 thoughts on “Belle’s analogy

  1. Related, tangential…

    Ancillary relationships can be tough for partners to understand. I’ve attempted to explain, in various ways, what I get out of spending time with my outside-of-marriage s.o., and I’ve found that – generally speaking – my spouse doesn’t really get it. (Which probably has a lot to do with his cuck mindset about the whole thing, but that could be a whole post in itself.) I’ve tried the “this is what we do together and how and this is why that’s awesome for me” approach, but it never sinks in. (And it has a tendency to get off track. Because, human.) Generally speaking though, my husband and I pursue a lot of interests separately, as some of the things he’s into, I just don’t give a damn about. And vice versa.

    So I’ve taken to explanatory questions. When he comes back from doing something with one of his friends, I listen to him wax rhapsodic, and then say, “So when you two __________, you felt __________?” Which is usually followed by a pause, and then a lightbulb moment. After several dozen such lightbulbs flicking on, he positively glows when he thinks about me spending time with my other… One. (Heh. I totally want to say “my lover” because I can. And because it is so very Lady Chatterly. And because Drew went on a vocabulary diatribe regarding that word a while back.) It’s been a long road to get there, regardless of the thousands of hours of conversation and all the supportive agreements that were made before we opened up. Because, I’ve found, no matter how many “what-ifs” you think you’ve planned for, life has a way of throwing curveballs.


    Like I said, tangential.

    The LA trip sounds like a bowl full of awesome, with candy crunches on top. Metal detectors, schmetal detectors.

    Merry Christmas to you and Belle and the minis! 🎅

    1. My diatribe only was in reference to effeminate men in their late 50’s and 60’s calling my husband my “lover” – which I find creepy. No other problem with it. 🙂

      Great post as always, T. Merry Christmas!

  2. Merry Christmas to you, Thumper. I hope you know that posts like this (and Drew’s) continue to inspire and enlighten as, even at 33, it’s really good to know there are “people like me” who have a kink side but who are professional, caring, non-whore, “good guys”. In the case of you and Drew, you deserve each other – said in the rarely said good way. Plus, each of you seem to be married to amazing people who you each deserve too.

    On behalf of “all” of us out there, thank you to you and Belle (and Drew and Axel) for letting us go on this journey with you.


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