Belle has informed me that I will be locked up until we go away on Spring Break. That’s, roughly speaking, about six weeks of being enclosed in steel. Of course, the thing she’s really good at is doing whatever she wants and exercising her prerogative regarding the penis, so it’s entirely possible she’ll wake up one morning and decide she wants cock and let me out. Or she’ll stick to her statement and leave me in. I don’t have any way of knowing and it’s entirely out of my control.
Her reason for this (relatively) long lock-up (at least by recent standards) is because I’m apparently being insufficiently subbie lately. It’s not surprising considering the shocking number of orgasms she allowed me in recent months. Two in the past two or so weeks, even. That’s approaching 30% or so of what a normal man would have! Heavens.
I do know what she’s talking about. I can feel it. I’m doing my best not to second-guess her now that I’m fully engaged with the “she decides” model, but I know I don’t feel now the way I feel when it’s been a really long time since I last came. It’s actually hard to talk about because I feel like I should be removed from that decision. Whatever I say will influence her and I don’t want to unduly do so, but I will admit to getting used to coming (even if it’s still at a far reduced rate from what other men enjoy).
The thing I have to remember is she controls the penis so she controls me and she controls how I’ll be as a result. Sure, I can try and live up to her expectations, but the hormonal wall of denial is a sturdy backstop that helps keep me where she wants me.
She’s left with a difficult choice. She likes when I come in her and likes letting me feel that. She also likes letting me inside her, though she tells me now that she’s more or less off dick as a means to orgasm. She’s adjusted to non-penetrative techniques involving fingers, vibrators, and tongues. We tried Blue the other morning and it didn’t do much for her. In any event, she digs it when I can fuck her. But she also digs how I am when really well denied. All the salubrious affects that go along with the pent-up hormonal load. I know when it’s been months I’m totally different and she likes that Thumper better. I can only really be that Thumper when I can’t really remember what orgasm feels like. So, her choice.
We’ll have to wait and see. Six weeks solid is a relatively long time to be locked up. I’m not in the frame of mind yet where I feel really settled into it. I haven’t had that “it’s part me” feeling about the Steelheart. Well, not much. This morning, she let me get her off and she said it was a really nice orgasm so that makes me happy. She also told me she like feeling the hard steel against her thigh. That makes me feel…oh, my. I really wanted out. I really wanted to feel the penis inside her pussy. But I never said it because she, of course, knew I felt that and I, of course, knew it wasn’t going to happen. So instead, while she purred and basked in the afterglow, I felt the PA ring pinch inside the end of a steel tube packed tightly with insistent erectile tissue.
She’s entirely right. Extended lock-up is what I need. It’s what needs to happen to make me that better Thumper she prefers and the person I’d rather be for her.
8 thoughts on “Becoming what she needs”
Six weeks? Eh, you can do that – which you know. I wanted to tell you I’m in the same boat as you. My wife is a teacher and when she’s out of school I get out a LOT and when I have a cock I get cocky, she says. So, now, she locks me at the start of school and I go until she gets a break. This year I have to skip Spring Break because I exhanged it stupidly for a last orgasm in January, but about five weeks in the jailbird and I are one now which you know.
I actually know this is good too. I’m better to her, I’m better to my boyfriend, and I am better with my work and more on my game when I am locked. I wear a bp vest at work and I see it as protection, so I started seeing the jailbird the same way a year or so ago. Do you see overall improvements when locked or just with her and your horny level for pussy?
Good luck on the six weeks. I wish I had found you two years ago when I started.
It is a very twisty issue for a lot of us. The title of the entry is that you are becoming what “she needs” but in the last paragraph you mention a long lock up is what “you need.” I guess there is what she needs, what you need, and what the dynamic between you needs. I struggle with that too. We’ve been playing with orgasm denial for a longer stretch than usual. I flip flop between feeling very secure and insecure rapidly. But it also seems like we have new observations every time.
She must be missing it, right? But she’s encourging it this time so it must be why she wants, right? It’s right there…she wants me to be assertive right? How will I feel tomorrow?
Thumper, I re read this this morning as we are housebound due to fucking ice. Do you actually like the fact you have no choice in the orgasm or more the overall level of control she provides? I wonder because I can’t decide thar myself.
I actually did get to cum last night as an ice storm bonus because she is out of school. Today I am wiped out but back locked. She’s happy. I’m happy. The fuck buddy will be happy when I get horny again.
I don’t think of those things as separate, I guess. I like how it feel when I want to come more than I like how it feels to come, at least when I’m really good and horny. I like that I have no control over whether or not it happens and I like very much that she likes me better when I’m under her control. It’s all bundled together for me.
Thank you, Thumper. That’s how I often feel, but never had the person to ask who’d get it. Along those lines, when you are in the really controlled place and versus a lot of free and inside her time, does your level of attraction for/to your boyfriend increase/decrease/stay the same? I am also like you and not romantic with mine, though I have already admitted to better than friend feelings as we have discussed, but I do want to be around him, be sexual with him, and envision him about at the same level despite when I have been unlocked or locked. I’m actually very surprised by that in me and was bothered at first because I thought it made me “more gay” but know better in my good brain. Just curious.
Loved the clit post. I need to try that but doubtful on the birdcage.
Why did the blue not do much for her?
Her preference for penetrative sex seems to have waned. She’s just as happy (if not happier) with what I can do with my fingers and tongue nowadays.