Fuck it, part two

Drew sent me a message telling me how he had informed a friend he was having lunch with about the guy he fooled around with on the side. Wanted me to know she thought I was hot and he was lucky. He also said he never thought he’d be as casual telling people this thing about himself.

I texted back, “Once you accept that it feels natural and is natural, it’s easy.”

“Agree with you. And there’s zero shame,” he texted to me.

And I replied, “They create shame, not you. They make it then they stick it on you.”

Even though I wrote it, as I hit send, I was like, Huh. That’s right. It was one of those moments where your subconscious drills through and injects something directly into your brain and you just say it. I was saying it to Drew, but it also felt like I was saying it to myself.

We don’t create our own shame. It’s made from the perceptions and assumptions of others and then we’re painted with it by them. Once I realized that, I also realized it has no power if I don’t buy into their perceptions and assumptions of how the world works. Their truths are not mine.

So, to reiterate, fuck ’em I say. They should be as lucky as me.

15 thoughts on “Fuck it, part two

  1. I read …

    “They create shame, not you. They make it then they stick it on you”

    Struck a cord. That is absolutely right. I know that but reading it. Seeing it. Somehow it struck a cord and hit home for me. Thank you.

  2. Two questions, Thumper:

    One, are you not angry at Drew for telling people about you? I thought that was a rule that you both be discrete and, from the tone of this, it sounds like he is just out screaming it (I dont’t read his blog though because of Belle saying she couldn’t so I didn’t and never started if she felt disrespected).

    Second, and this is more part one of “fuck it”, but if you did have your choice to reveal something in such a huge way to family and friends, what would it be? The bisexual side? Would you mention the boyfriend stuff? The chastity? Or thing things you like to do with your ass? Or would you care?

    1. You don’t read Drew’s blog so Belle doesn’t feel disrespected? What? The fuck? Ooookay, then.

      No, I don’t feel mad. He has a right to tell people about his life. Did he tell his friend my Social Security number, date of birth, blood type and where we keep the spare key to our house hidden? No. Nothing of the sort. He didn’t even tell them all the details of our relationship. How you read “the tone” of this post to think he was “screaming” anything says a lot about you and your prejudices, IMO.

      Also, I don’t understand your “if I had my choice to reveal” question since I do and I’ve made my decision.

      1. Oh no. I didn’t mean to make you mad. No judgements. I just remember way back belle said she couldn’t read hid blog because he spoke too strongly or something and so I just deleted the link and never went back. I didn’t mean to offend but I just took her for what it was.

        As for my question, if there was one of those facts you’d tell your son or friends, which would it be?

        Very sorry.

      2. I’m not the kind of person who volunteers details of their sex life without reason, so none. But this opportunity isn’t like that, as I’ve already said.

  3. Mine was just a general question in that if you could only reveal one thing type of thing, like a game, but I guess I’ve learned my lesson about leaving comments.

    To go back to your first comment, how do you know he didn’t do that? I know you were kidding about the ss number but I just thought he could put you and belle in danger if he told to much which is why I asked , but I guess that works the other way though I think you’d have more to lose in a traditional marriage versus his non traditional marriage.

    I’m not going to read him and, yes, that is based on belle. I get it that she’s okay with it all, but I don’t want to read the smut and perversion parts either.

  4. “This is why I hate you, FYI. Go. Away”. And THAT, my friends is why I love reading Thumper.

    Just a note for anyone else curious. Yes, I told my friend and I told her every single detail about everything and showed her all the pictures because everyone wants their friends to see their junk, right? I bet she’s stalking Thumper and his entire family right now. Thumper, walk in zig zag patterns.

    Seriously, one, in case anyone else feels as this lady does, don’t for any second think I would tell such a thing without an equal level of confidence from her that I won’t tell her secrets that I know. And I know plenty. Plus, she’s a circuit court judge, so she’s pretty good with secrets.

    Finally, for the record, her only concern was that Axel wasn’t getting his own on the side and she wondered if he was ready to try the “other team” yet because she’s always swooned around him.

  5. Thumper I could not agree more with you.

    “We don’t create our own shame. It’s made from the perceptions and assumptions of others and then we’re painted with it by them.”

    You are spot on with this but we have to keep in mind that we are not alone in this world. There is our family, friends and work related people that can and will judge you since from the looks of it is in our/their human nature to do this. So I would advise a bit of calculating with whom/where you can be open and honest and with whom/where you just can not be. I know it sucks, but that is what it is…

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