Drew sent me a message telling me how he had informed a friend he was having lunch with about the guy he fooled around with on the side. Wanted me to know she thought I was hot and he was lucky. He also said he never thought he’d be as casual telling people this thing about himself.
I texted back, “Once you accept that it feels natural and is natural, it’s easy.”
“Agree with you. And there’s zero shame,” he texted to me.
And I replied, “They create shame, not you. They make it then they stick it on you.”
Even though I wrote it, as I hit send, I was like, Huh. That’s right. It was one of those moments where your subconscious drills through and injects something directly into your brain and you just say it. I was saying it to Drew, but it also felt like I was saying it to myself.
We don’t create our own shame. It’s made from the perceptions and assumptions of others and then we’re painted with it by them. Once I realized that, I also realized it has no power if I don’t buy into their perceptions and assumptions of how the world works. Their truths are not mine.
So, to reiterate, fuck ’em I say. They should be as lucky as me.