I saw this on Facebook…
My immediate feeling was to say, “Fuck you,” but since it was probably my mom who posted it, I refrained. As the father of a preteen girl, I want her to express herself as she is most comfortable. If she wants to look like the girl on the left, fine. Like the ones on the right, fine. Or anywhere in between.
My second feeling was, man, this is some grade-A sex negative slut shaming right here. Humans are sexual beings. Many, many girls at 14 are biologically prepared to have sex. Our culture says they shouldn’t and I’m not advocating they should, but we also can’t stick our head in the sand and pretend they’re not going to do it or they’re not going to feel like expressing themselves sexually. Neither is it possible to assume those girls on the right are any more likely to engage in sexual behavior than the girl on the left. Never mind the fact this kind of assumption is next door neighbors with the “she had it coming” rape response. Bottom line, it’s bullshit to judge anyone based on their appearance, especially girls.
Thirdly, the skeptical side of me kicked in. We don’t know the age of any of these girls. We don’t know how the ones on the right dress all of the time nor do we know if the one on the left has ever dressed differently. Also, not for nothing, “when I was 14” probably wasn’t last year but that car is definitely relatively new. So, assuming any of them are 14-year-olds, it’s obvious girls dress both ways now. Also also, having been a 14-year-old myself more than 14 years ago, I can tell you for an absolute fact some girls dressed just like the ones on the right, only without the ability to record it as a selfie.
Lastly, I wonder what would compel someone to even create this. What kind of judgy, insecure, pitiful, unhappy soul sits around and worries about how girls dress? This is more a “I wasn’t a slut” statement and my basic assumption is those who sit in judgement and go to lengths to say what they aren’t pretty much all of the time are.
Here’s a fun exercise: Imagine what the boy version of this would be. Chances are it’d be more about race or social status with no mention at all about sex. That’s because young men are quantified by their capacity to commit violence and young women are quantified by their capacity to have sex. Because we’re fucked up. Because we’re afraid of boys hurting us and we’re afraid of girls controlling their own bodies.
Sex is good. Sexiness is good. All these things are perfectly natural. We should embrace people no matter how they choose to express themselves. Even (especially) young women.