Category: Chastity Nerdery

Those posts where I (mostly) drone on endlessly about living in enforced chastity.

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Whack job

So I’m back out and for pretty much the same reason as last time, though the symptoms aren’t as bad. I woke up Monday morning with an odd twinge on one side where the PA fixing is and a mildly irritated sensation down on the corona. I asked to have the fixing taken out and figured I could deal with the other part, but by nighttime it was approaching the super annoying stage. She let me out (after a brief time of not being able to find the key) and I again saw the same kind of redness around the corona and on the glans as before. I don’t know if this is a new issue or if it’s the same as last time that didn’t properly heal, but whatever, it’s back.

Monday I felt kind of crappy otherwise and fell asleep early (even forgetting to make Belle’s coffee). Last night, though, I was feeling a lot better. The free meat was urging me to make the moves on Belle. These urges don’t feel the same as when I’m locked and know I’m not coming out. First of all, in those cases, I find I don’t usually get really hard until either my face is buried in her pussy or she’s moaning and writhing around. I respond to her and my impetus is to feel her reflected pleasure. But when I’m free, the cock gets hard way earlier in the festivities and my driving motivation shifts subtly. I still want to feel her come, but the cock (an eternal optimist) starts sending up suggestions and dropping little hints. I find myself grinding into Belle and acting much more like a regular guy as opposed to what I really am.

Belle even called me on that last night saying my actions didn’t suggest her pleasure was at the heart of my actions. I guess it’s true. I had a hard, free cock for the first time in a month and really wanted to feel something with it. Call it a moment of weakness, but the cock’s imperative loomed large.

Turns out, Belle didn’t act on the opportunity. She said she was actually turned on by denying herself the chance to fuck me. I have no idea what to do with that or even how it makes me feel. Her denial is, of course, mine and I’m wired to want her to have everything she wants, but if what she wants is to deny herself…it’s an unexpected loop. She did place her hand over the hard meat and I gyrated into her palm, just happy to have that stimulation. I was really hard and really turned on, but shortly, she was pretty much asleep.

As she turned over to go to bed, she said, “Since you did a good job today, Thumper, you can play with yourself.”

I immediately wrapped my hand around the erection and said, “Oh, thank you Belle Fille. Thank you.”

“Of course, you can’t come.”

“No, of course not. Thank you, Belle Fille.”

“Try not to stay up all night,” she added, “and you’re going back in tomorrow.”

I was amazed at how quickly I found myself at the edge of orgasm. I couldn’t stroke the full shaft more than maybe a dozen times before my prostate’s payload was locked and ready to fire. I was able to make rapid short strokes just under the head of the cock for more extended periods, but even then I was on the edge relatively quickly. I didn’t pick up any porn and instead just laid there luxuriating in the sensation of jacking off. It was a chance for all my senses to absorb the moment: my whole body felt the bed gently vibrate at my motion and I could hear the wet smacking sound of the precum-lubed slit. As little beads of semen were squeezed out, I picked them up on the tips of my fingers and placed them on my tongue where I swirled their unique viscosity over the roof of my mouth. When I’m that hot and milking myself so freely, I absolutely adore spunk. My hunger for it knows no bounds. In fact, that’s how I judge whether or not I’ve had an orgasm. I think, “Would I eat that?” If I don’t recoil at the thought, then it wasn’t an actual orgasm.

Anyway, I soon found that I was getting way, way too close to coming to keep going. Even after pausing to let everything ooze back down, I’d be right back at the edge after two or three strokes. Also, the skin on the cock’s shaft just wasn’t used to that kind of abuse. One of the ironies of prolonged device chastity I’ve discovered is that the longer you go inside, the less you’re meat is able to withstand the amount of jacking you want when it’s free. The skin loses the toughness it has when it’s constantly rubbing against the inside of my underwear or my clenched fist.

I eventually wound myself down and discovered I was exhausted. I laid on the very edge of sleep for what seemed like an eternity, but eventually did have a fairly restful night. This morning, I can still see little angry spots on the corona which I’m sure weren’t helped by all the whacking the night before. They don’t bother me, but I’ll leave it up to Belle to decide if I’ll go back in. Honestly, even though I had a nice time with it, I don’t really trust myself to be alone with the cock for an extended period of time. Not in the state I’m in now. I’d rather she put it back where it belongs until my time’s up. It’s just simpler that way. I only hope it decides to go quietly.

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In-N-Out

I was out of the cage yesterday. I woke up feeling a stingy itchiness inside the tube that was intolerable (and very unsexy). I’ve felt something kinda like this before after being let out after an extended lock-up, but I’ve never felt anything like it while locked up (and never half as bad as this). As soon as Belle let me out, we saw that the corona of the glans was red and irritated, and afterward, I noticed a red line running up and down the sides of the shaft that traced where the PA fixing would press against it. Belle decided I needed some time out of the steel to recuperate, so there I was: Unlocked due to health and safety and feeling very strange (but ultimately OK since it was obviously necessary).

So why the red itchy unsexy stinging? My theory is that it was due to the cabin’s hot tub. We were up there over the weekend and sat in it a couple times and I, assuming the hot water soak was keeping me clean, didn’t follow my regular hygiene routine. However, the water in the tub was highly chlorinated (more so than usual) and I think by not cleaning the tube out, the chemicals eventually started to bug me. The thing about a stainless steel chastity tube with only a little round hole at its end is that, most of the time, it’s warm and moist in there. I bet it never fully dries out. So, that being the case, I basically left my little friend to stew in a chlorinated chemical bath for 48 hours. Not smart.

Last night, after only about 12 hours or so of being free, we checked it again and all the redness and irritation had gone away. I asked Belle how long she planned on leaving me out and she replied that since it was apparently all back to normal, I could go back in right then. As I said, it had only been about 12 hours (probably ten of which everything felt weird and not right). I had thought about what a nice change it was going to be feeling a real erection in the morning after spending three weeks in the tube – three weeks of stifled, stunted wannabe erections. But no dice. She was putting me back in immediately. I never once got a hard-on outside of the tube before it was back on me.

As I was reassembling it, and even though I was doing so under Belle’s observation, the cock was very small and meek looking. Almost withdrawn. The tube was enormous in comparison and seemed cavernous as I placed the flaccid little specimen back inside. It was pretty obvious neither of us was all too excited about reentering the steel so quickly.

Which, of course, leads to another little slice of Chastity Paradox. Five minutes after the little sailor was locked in the brig, I felt it pressing against the sides of the tube, plumped with blood. I really did want to stay out and feel God’s honest erection, but I also wanted what I got. Maybe this time, I should keep everything clean.

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HNThumper XIV

Underwear is a tricky thing. If you’re trying to hide the odd bulge in your crotch because the pants you’re wearing are especially “showy”, then I’ve found tight briefs to be the best bet. However, I’ve also found that the better a pair of underwear hide the device, the more uncomfortable they are. Holding the device down between your legs, squashing the balls into the tube, etc., can leave you feeling rather abused by the end of the day.

If you’re looking for maximum comfort, then I’ve found a simple string thong to be best. The pouch supports your package just enough but doesn’t push it around. Of course, the trade off is that it does nearly nothing to hide the device (it’s almost like going commando, which I’m not a big fan of in chastity), but the difference in comfort is noticeable at the end of the day.

This discussion, of course, is all a flimsy artifice to give me an excuse to post a picture of me in my underwear. Click the jump for the moderately NSFW image (and then click again for a slightly more risque reveal).

Continue reading “HNThumper XIV”

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Nerdery break

CAUTION: Chastity nerdery ahead!

Regular readers should be aware of my chastity device configuration: A Steelworxx Steelheart fitted with a custom designed PA fixing and a 4ga captive bead ring in my PA piercing (check out my article comparing it to the CB-6000 for pictures, etc.). One of the big upsides of this device is that it’s 100% secure. That security comes at the expense of frequent metal-on-metal noise as the thick PA ring clanks against the inside of the stainless tube.

As I say in the Steelheart vs. CB6K article, the steel PA ring offers zero chance of escape as the ball in the ring requires hand tools to remove or insert – tools that can’t be used with the tube in place. When it’s all locked together, it’s more secure than Fort Knox. The noise, though, can be annoying (especially when it happens around the house whilst wearing pajamas). I’ve just ended a few week stint in the device where I used an acrylic PA ring to see if that helped. I found that the instances of noise dropped dramatically. Occasionally, the PA fixing itself will move inside the tube and make a small sound, but the acrylic made practically no noise (certainly none that could be heard through clothing).

The acrylic is far from perfect, though. The ball snaps in very easily to the plastic ring. I’m fairly certain if I pulled hard enough, the ball would pop out and allow escape (though I have no idea how I’d ever get it back together without taking the whole thing off). Also, I felt a frequent pinching near the head of the cock (sometimes during erections, but more often as a result of the motion used while cleaning). This past weekend, Belle let me out for a thorough cleaning/shaving/inspection and I found the flexible ring was allowing just the tiniest bit of skin to get trapped between it and the ball. This sounds worse than it felt, but there was an obvious spot where the ring exits the urethra that had been pinched more often than was good for it.

In order to give the pinched skin a rest, I put the device back on without any jewelry and absent the PA fixing. Just me in a smooth metal tube. I am never in the Steelheart like this. I found the sensation to be oddly liberating (if one can feel that way in such a thing). The fixing doesn’t bother me when it’s in there, but when it’s gone, I can really feel the difference. It essentially makes the tube’s inner diameter larger so I more often felt the enclosed meat bumping around against its sides. Also, during erection, I could tell I was filling every last bit of open space. When the ring and fixing are in place, there’s always a space near the opening that’s open since the PA ring is actually kinda big and has to go somewhere.

In any event, I checked it out the next morning and saw that the pinched area was good as new so I put the steel ring back in and put the PA fixing through it before locking myself back up. I’m back to wearing my cow bell, but it’s more comfortable than before (along with being more secure).

I’m somewhat proud of the fact that, even though I was alone during all this taking off and putting on of the device, that I never not once took the opportunity to sneak in some strokes. I barely touched it more than I had to. Truth is, I have nearly no self control when it comes to this kind of thing. I’m really good (well, pretty good) at not having the occasional accidental orgasm when messing with the goods, but it’s really hard for me keep my hands to myself (so to speak). There was a moment where I wavered, what with the soap and the grasp of my hand, the lifting the shaft to eradicate the little hairs I can’t get to usually…but I maintained control. I didn’t cheat. As quickly as possible, I did what I was supposed to do and was very grateful to be back in the friendly confines of the device, temptation safely locked away.

In other news, Belle’s lost one of keys. She hid it away and did such a good job that she has no idea where it is. Now all we have is one. I need to take it to the Home Depot and see if they can copy it. If not, I’ll need to send Dietmar a note seeing if he sells spares. The one taped up on my key card is the only one we have. Best I keep its whereabouts familiar in the mean time.

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Steelheart vs. CB6K

I’ve finally completed my comparison of the CB-6000 an the Steelworxx Steelheart. I’ve written for someone who hasn’t been around to read all the posts related to the stainless saga, so some of it will be repetitive for regular readers. As always, I’d appreciate any constructive feedback.

Steelheart vs. CB-6000

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Key card

Recently, in my post about how impossible the Steelheart is to get out of, Sera asked the following in a comment:

This is probably a naive question but . . . do you worry about being “locked in” in an emergency situation?

And you know what? Yeah, I guess I do. I don’t think it’s very likely that I’ll need to get the device off for any reason (emergency or otherwise), but it does make more than a little sense to have the option when absolutely necessary. This morning, I took the spare key and made this.

The key for the Steelheart’s integrated lock is, as you can see, pretty long. Much longer than any other key we’ve used. What I’ve done is tape it to a piece of paper that has Belle’s signature and the date. That paper is taped to my old Best Buy RewardCard (oh, the irony) and over that is multiple layers of extra tape with little blue happy face stickers between every other layer or so. The tape wraps completely around the card. This picture, besides being posted here, was also emailed to Belle in its original resolution. I’ll carry the card around with me, either in my wallet or my computer bag, and present it to her when demanded to prove that it’s integrity has not been compromised (unlike my own which was not only compromised but also subsequently abandoned by the side of a lonely desert road back in my mid-teens).

I can’t see how I’d be able to unwrap the thing and still have it look like it does now. The happy faces would get tweaked and, even if they didn’t, the paper with her signature would likely tear. It may not be perfect, but I’m hardly a security risk (even though I have been known to pick my own lock).

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The Steelheart returns

Back on the 15th of December, Dietmar shipped the modified Steelheart back to me. I had sent it to him sometime around the 23rd of November. Based on the amount of time it took to receive it the first time, I didn’t expect to see it again until after the New Year, but lo and behold, there is was all nestled in my mailbox yesterday evening. A Christmas miracle.

new_sh_rings-pTo summarize, I had wanted two things done to the device. First, the original A-ring turned out to be too big. Even though it was roughly the same size as the 45 mm ring I had grown accustomed to on the CB6K, it turns out that 45 mm of steel is not the same as 45 mm of polycarbonate. For one, the Steelheart’s ring is thinner than the CB6K’s and doesn’t grip the same. Also, the Steelheart is significantly heavier (duh). Also also, the CB6K’s ring, being made up of a top section designed to fit all the differently sized bottom ring sections, ends up not being round. It’s 45 mm from side to side, but less than that from top to bottom. So anyhoo, I wanted a smaller ring. My options under 45 mm were 42, 40, 38, and 36 mm. The 42 would have been better, but I decided to go with 40. Thirty-eight and 36 seemed ridiculously small.

new_sh_fixins-pThe second modification I asked for was a new PA fixing design. The original fixing didn’t work for me. My PA ring kept slipping off the end. I sent Dietmar a drawing of a continuous design that would allow the cock to be withdrawn partially (even mostly) but would not allow it to come all the way out. This seemed a good compromise to me between security and comfort.

So as soon as I realized what the unexpected little box in the mail was, I rushed off to the bathroom to open it in private. Even though Belle had said on Saturday she wanted me back in a device, we had both forgotten to put me in it on Sunday. I was free to test out the fit. First off, 5 mm is a pretty big deal. I found getting the ring on involved a second or two of testicle twinge as the second ball popped through. It’s a very snug fit. Getting the cock though, even when totally flaccid, required a fair bit of pulling and squashing. I find the device sits a lot higher now, though I need to lubricate the ring to avoid discomfort. Sleeping is very different now in that the ring bites a lot harder into the base of the erection and also pulls against the balls causing a fair bit of testicle pain. This may sound like a negative, but I found the old fit to be too forgiving. It never got close to waking me up at night and never caused me a bit of discomfort, even when fully erect. Personally, I like a tolerable amount of discomfort from a chastity device. The new smaller ring makes the Steelheart just a bit more intense than the CB6K was. Just on the edge of what I can tolerate.

I’m very happy with the fixing so far. In short, when wearing my 4ga captive ball ring, the new fixing turns the Steelheart into that most mythical of chastity devices: totally escape proof. I mean it, totally. I can only open my PA ring with a heavy tool and I can’t get that tool down into the tube where the ring is. The cock will only slide out so far before it stops and starts to pull on the piercing. I could probably get hard with it partially pulled out, but then what? The head of the cock would still be inside and pulling against the rail of the fixing. In short, I now have a system of stainless steel parts going though and around the cock that interlock in such a way as to make any kind of stimulative access totally impossible. This is not a toy. I cannot break it off and I don’t have any tools that can cut though the steel. When it’s on, it’s not ever coming off without the key. In other words, totally fucking hot.

I had a dream last night that after pulling the cock out to show Belle how secure it was that it somehow pulled though the piercing and ripped the PA ring out. That freaked me the fuck out. Like, big time. I woke up kind of shaky and groping at the device to make sure it had just been a dream and that I was still whole. So yeah, hot, but also very serious. I don’t need to convince myself anymore how secure my device is. Even my subconscious gets it.

This morning, I took the device off so I could take the pictures included in this post, then I put the Steelheart back on. Belle had left me with the key just in case, but I handed it over this morning. I suspect I won’t see it again for a long time.

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A year of piercedness

Subtitle: In which Thumper overshares regarding his penile piercing.

Susan’s Pet left this in the comments recently:

I just want to remind you that your anniversary of your PA piercing is coming up. I am not saying what you should do, but, you know, giving thanks where thanks are due would be all right.

First things first. How thoughtful of you, remembering like that! It totally would have gone over my head you not said something. Second, I’m not sure where thanks are due (other than to the skilled professional that punched a hole in my urethra to begin with and Belle for being OK with letting it happen), but sure, I’m giving them.

I suppose it’s not a bad time to stop and elaborate a bit on what living with a Prince Albert piercing it like. However, I think it’s also worth noting that the one attached to me is not your typical pierced cock. Most notably, of course, is the fact that (especially recently) it’s been safely ensconced in some kind of chastity device for the majority of the time. I suspect normal guys would have slightly different experiences.

So here’s the good stuff.

  • It’s really hot.
  • It’s a beautiful thing.
  • Under the right conditions, it allows for a more secure enforced chastity experience.

 
Of course, the first two points are totally subjective. I think a cock with a thick stainless hoop through the end is incredi-fucking-sexy. Belle, apparently, is OK with it but hasn’t ever let on that she’s as enamored of it as I am. As for the chastity security, as I’ve written fairly extensively, it doesn’t work for me the same way it works for most people (that is, with a cable strung though the hoop outside the tube and affixed by the device’s lock). When the Steelheart comes back with its custom PA fixing, I believe security will be pretty near perfect, but it’s taken me a year of trial and error to figure that out.

Now, the negatives.

  • Peeing is not as straightforward as before. I used to be able to pee through the CB6K at a urinal with a high degree of success, but the extra hole in the dick and the disruption of the stream by the jewelry has forever removed that option. Even when not locked, extra care has to be taken to ensure that the piss doesn’t splash back onto my pants or that a second stream doesn’t get started spraying in an odd direction. The funny thing about piss is, since it’s at your body temperature, you can’t always be sure where it’s going without keeping an eye on it. I’ve become fairly adept at successfully using a urinal (while unlocked, of course), but, just like border patrolling, the order of the day is “constant vigilance”. While we’re on the subject, I can also report that another quirky aspect of peeing while pierced is that separate streams can form from each hole (mostly through the natural one, of course) and the new hole is positioned perfectly to douse my scrotum when I’m sitting down. The way to avoid that is pretty much the same thing I do when standing up. By placing my finger behind the hole and pushing a bit of foreskin against the piercing, it will usually block the hole enough to make the stream just a steady drip. Now you know more than you ever wanted about the urination habits of Prince Albert.
  • On the relatively rare occasions I’ve had to masturbate with the ring in, I’ve found that it’s pretty easy to aggravate the tissue around and inside the urethra. For a long time, I assumed that this would go away in time as the flesh toughened up, but as Belle’s aggressive milking demonstrated just the other night, it appears to be a permanent risk. It’s entirely possible, I suppose, that a guy with a more normal masturbation schedule (or, for that matter, more plentiful opportunities to use his cock in any number of ways I can’t) would find the discomfort subsiding eventually, but that guy’s not me by a long shot. I find that if I leave my pointer finger more relaxed while masturbating and let it pass over or just graze the ring that the sensation is even more enjoyable than before I was pierced, but if I attempt to jack off the old fashioned way (all five fingers evenly grasping), I’m asking for trouble. Since the piercing healed, I haven’t experienced any discomfort from fucking, but then again, I also can’t say being pierced has significantly improved that sensation.

 
Currently, I mostly wear a 4ga trapped-ball ring. I started out at 8ga, slipped back to 10ga due to an unfortunate accident, then clicked up to 6ga for quite a while. I don’t think I’ll go above 4ga. I think anything bigger would look out of proportion. The thickness of 4ga is just about perfect, IMO.

After ten HNThumpers, I’ve never actually shown “the full monty”, as it were. I’ve shown the 6ga ring in detail, I’ve shown the cock obscured and distorted and secured (twice), but in trying to respect the “half nekkid” part of the HNT, I’ve never shown you the entire package in a straightforward way. Until today. I figure, after writing in nearly 900 words about my PA piercing, it’s only fair to let you take a peek. So here you go. Obviously, NSFW.

In balance, I have to say after my first year of piercedness that I’m happy I did it. It can be a bit of a pain causing complications and discomfort, but at the end of the day, I find it so hot that it’s totally worth living with the negative consequences.

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Moving right along

I’ve exchanged a few emails with Dietmar at Steelworxx. Not only is he making me a new and smaller A-ring, but he’s also working up a custom PA fixing. It’s similar to the regular one, except mine will run continuously from one post to the other (in a long U-shape) and be open on top (so it can be run through the PA ring). It won’t maintain the PA ring’s position at the bottom of the tube, but it will make it impossible (with the right ring) to fully remove the cock from the tube. It’s the same idea as the PA wire I fixed up a little while back, except in steel. It’ll look a little less MacGyver, a little more Cyberman.

I told Belle last night that, except for a day or two here and there to heal, she’s had me locked up almost continuously for a month (in three different devices, no less). She didn’t seem to think that was very interesting. Before our Mexico trip, I was locked up for a similar amount of time (though there was a 10 day to 2 week break around the trip, I think). I haven’t counted up the days with any specificity, but it seems like my default condition now is to be locked up with only special occasions where she lets me out. This is a fairly significant escalation over previous months where I’d be secured 50% of the time (or less). It would be 100% now, except for the occasional injuries.

This increased frequency is entirely attributable to Belle. There have been several times recently where, had I been able to choose, I would have stayed out but she was determined to put me in. I now believe she prefers to leave me locked up. All residual guilt or worry or insecurity seems to be gone. A year ago, I would have wanted nothing more. Now that it’s transpired, I have decidedly mixed feelings about it. It’s all good, of course. I wouldn’t have it any other way. But I now realize that 1) I really don’t have any control over wearing a device, and 2) it’s left the realm of über hawt fantasy and entered the more mundane world of the every day.

I said yesterday that I was “fully accepting that we’ll only have sex according to her needs.” This, too, is slightly different than my previous outlook. Before, I’d say something like I was “fully accepting that she controls our sex” and that’d be true, but adding the nuance that not only was she controlling it, but that it was only happening when she needed it is a new way of looking at it for me. Maybe I’ve talked around this before without knowing it or maybe it’s been assumed by my readers, but saying to one’s self that “I want sexual relief, but she’s not letting me have it” is very different than “I want sexual relief, but she doesn’t, so I’m not getting any.” A lot of this wraps back into the idea that my sexuality has been subsumed into hers, I guess. I’m sure I’m not saying it very well, but I think it’s amazing that even after more than year of playing around with this that it continues to evolve.

Last night, we tossed and turned quite a bit. She was dealing with jet lag while I was dealing with arousal. At one point, I wanted to wrap around her and feel the hard plastic press into her ass, but she was facing me and spooning a pillow. I couldn’t get a good vector and eventually rolled over to face the other direction. The cock was really hard, not because of any routine physiological reason, but because I was fucking horny. I wanted her so bad, but what “want” means I cannot say. My stifled needs and desires burned in my chest. And, I have to admit, it felt good.