Libéré en étant enfermé
Those posts where I (mostly) drone on endlessly about living in enforced chastity.
Attached, please find photographic evidence that, following a brief recuperative period, I have reestablished the secured state required by my Belle Fille prior to her leaving for the other side of the world.
Security was reestablished at approximately 7:00 PM CST, November 20, 2009.
That is all.
Mr. McGuire: I want to say one word to you. Just one word.
Benjamin: Yes, sir.
Mr. McGuire: Are you listening?
Benjamin: Yes, I am.
Mr. McGuire: Plastics.
Benjamin: Just how do you mean that, sir?
The past few days, I’ve been having issues. Specifically, odd feelings from inside the tube of the chrome CB6K. Pinching, sensitivity, soreness, etc. Belle had left the key in the house, but hidden, so I couldn’t really see what the deal was (the tube being all metallically reflective and all), but I felt I had the situation in hand (so to speak).
Early this morning, I awoke to an intense itchiness. It was driving me up the fucking wall. Down on the right side of the shaft, just above the head, it itched like a motherfucker. I’ve had the occasional isolated itch before, but nothing like this. Had the Geneva Convention considered enforced male chastity, itchiness of this magnitude would have been banned by all civilized nations.
I sent an email to Belle who I figured might be getting ready for bed on her side of the planet saying, in short, I need that key. Every day so far that she’s been gone, she’s called at about 7:00 AM while the kids were getting ready for school, but not today. Of course, not today. And no response to my email. I proceeded to turn the house over looking for that key. Good news, I suppose, is she didn’t leave it in any of her previous hiding places. Regardless, after a short while, I lucked-out and found the key inside a thing in a drawer in the kitchen. As quickly as possible, I was in her bedroom, pulling the device from my body.
Besides the itchy patch, I can see at least three other spots where the skin has been irritated and rubbed raw. In addition, there’s another of those weird little penis pimple things forming on the glans. Basically, the inside of the chrome tube is just not finished very well. There’s apparent overspray from the painting process that, as I mentioned right after I got it, leaves the interior unacceptably rough for long-term wear. A day or three doesn’t seem to be an issue, but I’m going on a week and a half now and the damage has been done. Besides the roughness, it also continues to rub color onto my skin turning it black in spots (and, apparently, causing penis pimples).
Yeah, real fucking sexy.
Were I not damaged, I’d put the old clear tube back on and try to forget about the key. The Steelheart is winging its way back to the Fatherland for a smaller ring, so it’s no help. In any event, I’m in no condition to be packing plastic at the moment. Maybe in a few days, but not now. Funny thing is, I may as well still be locked up since, in its current state, playing with the damned thing would be too painful.
In the comments to Security wankie (did anyone get that pun?), reader Wally shared some helpful experiences with the Steelheart, including this on security:
As for security may I suggest you go to a jeweler and have them make you a small chain with two closed loops on each end. These loops are small enough to go though the hole in the end of your tube, but large enough for one to go around your piecing jewelry and the other end go over one of the side alignment pins of your Steelheart. Basically the chain in installed on the end of your piercing ring and the chain goes down inside the tube out though the hole outside and up to the alignment pin. The chain will be long enough to allow your member to move up and down the tube freely but short enough not to allow pull out.
My issues with this idea are threefold. First, I need my device to be as quiet as possible. I imagine having a lovely chain coming out the end of the tube and running up the side would result in some noises. The noise, in and of itself, kinda turns me on as it’s an ever-present reminder of my chastity, but when you’ve got a couple of small kids in the house (or any size kids, I suppose), mysterious clanking is a problem. The other problem I have with Wally’s solution is that the chain, strung through the hole in the tube, would ruin my ability to pee vertically. The chain, I’m sure, would disrupt the stream and lead part of it off to the side. Having to sit to pee isn’t a deal-breaker since I’ve been doing it for months, but I really, really like using urinals. Finally, I’d be worried about the chain moving freely up and down the tube as the cock contracted and expanded. I am totally incapable of using any solution that pulls on my piercing.
Which is why I liked the Steelworxx PA fixing so much. Its design, inside the tube, allowed my piercing to move up and down the length of the fixing resulting in practically no pulling. However, that’s also the fatal flaw of its design since only one side of the fixing is fixed. The other has a little hook that, I assume, is supposed to keep the ring from sliding off. It doesn’t work. Even without trying to, my little buddy can escape the fixing shortly after being placed onto it.
So, to summarize, what I need is a way to secure the PA ring that doesn’t pull, doesn’t ruin vertical peeing, and doesn’t make noise but does make it difficult, if not impossible, to pull the dick out. I think I’ve got a solution.
What I’ve done is revisit the PA cable concept (the saga starts here), except this time, I’ve run the cable down the inside of the tube, not the outside. Then, I run the loops out and over the top of the device and secure them on the opposite side’s alignment pin (I’ll post a picture later to help make this clear). I run the loops on the outside since the aluminum ferrules I used to make them would be very uncomfortable sharing the tube with the tender secured meat. Hooking them to the opposite side’s pin helps keep the stiff cable from pulling out and getting out of position. The cable hugs the entire inside of the tube so the PA ring can slide around like the rings of a shower curtain. As long as it’s not immediately in front of the hole, it doesn’t get in the way of the stream. As long as it doesn’t come up and out the tube, it’s doesn’t pull on the ring. Since it’s coated in plastic and the ring is acrylic, it’s very quiet. So far, there’s been very little pinching or other discomfort (though I’ve only been wearing it for about 24 hours now).
Of course, it’s not perfect. I can slide most of the cock out of the tube, but it’s pretty uncomfortable to do so. Since it allows me to access the acrylic PA ring and since the ball is easily removed by hand, this is not total security, but it pushes off quite a bit farther any “accidental” slipping out of the tube. The only way I could get out now would be to disassemble part of the apparatus that secures me which is a hard limit in my mind. I could improve the security by using a stainless PA ring which, at 4 gauge, has a ball that cannot typically be inserted or removed by hand, but the metal would introduce clanking, so that’s a nonstarter. Also, I don’t think it’s necessary.
While I had the tube off yesterday, I took the opportunity to sand down the sharp edges of the brass locking mechanism. This proved to be a major improvement as the lock no longer cuts into me. Also, I’ve decided that the A-ring I ordered is too big. Even though it’s exactly the same size as the CB6K ring I was using before, due to its different design and material, it’s just too big. The whole device hangs too low when my balls descend. With the cable in place, this isn’t a huge problem, but it just doesn’t feel right since I’ve gotten used to the snug, closer fit of the CB6K. Dietmar says I’ll have to send the entire thing back to get a new ring since part of the lock is on the ring and part is on the tube. He’ll need both to make sure they fit properly. That sucks, but I get it. As soon as Belle decides I’m out for a while, I’m going to send it back and use the chrome CB6K in the interim.
So there you go. A thousand words about security on the heels of a post where I suggested security isn’t all that big of a deal. As I said, security = hotness. With the cable in place, the Steelheart is 3.6 times hotter than it was without. At least for me.
As I said yesterday, the new Steelheart is only a little less secure than my CB6K. However, it is less secure, a fact only compounded by the total failure of the PA fixing that came with it. This reality has led me to rethink a few things regarding the entire purpose of the device.
Some guys look down their noses (or boners, as the case may be) at those of us who remain chaste though the use of devices. They say the only true way to demonstrate commitment to their partner is to always have access to their dicks but to never use them for anything their partners haven’t authorized, let alone ejaculation. I truly do appreciate this point of view and admire men who are able to muster the self-control necessary to keep their hands off in the face of incredible frustration. But I guess that assumes they are, in fact, keeping their hands off.
Personally, I don’t need the device to keep from having an unauthorized orgasm. The last thing I want is to orgasm (though I desperately want to always feel like I want to – paradox!). What I crave is lots and lots of stimulation. I love playing with myself up to the moment of orgasm, cooling off for a few seconds, and then doing it again. I adore the feeling of a stiff one in my hand, heavy PA ring flopping to and fro. Even with it’s not hard, I find I can’t keep my hands off the cock. It’s like a magnet to me. So, based on all that, what the device represents is Belle’s desire to limit my ability to pleasure myself. She knows I will not come on purpose. But she also knows, from experience, that allowing me to play with the cock is a recipe for disaster.
So, the device isn’t about orgasm control. It’s a masturbation and self-pleasure control mechanism. When she puts me in it, she’s saying she wants me to focus on her and her needs. Jacking off in the shower, even if I don’t come, is distracting and indulgent. Stroking in bed after she’s fallen asleep does not leave me in the same frame of mind as when I’m just left to stew in my juices. Those guys who liken my device to a crutch are right, I guess. It’s a deterrent. A reminder of what she wants. And I need it.
My quest for the undefeatable device is more about nerdery and kink than anything else. I want to feel totally powerless against the device, but don’t actually need to be powerless. For me, it’s more like a “keep off the grass” sign or little wrought iron fence around a flowerbed. A reminder that there are rules and I’m expected to play by them.
In a comment to HNThumper X, Billus asked:
I’d be interested in how the ring size compares with whatever ring you were using on the CB6K. Did you simply measure the plastic ring, or disregard it completely and determine the steel ring size some other way? Same with the spacing. It seems like with all the trial and error involved with a plastic CB, you have to get the steel one absolutely right the first time.
When I ordered the Steelheart, I pretty much used the CB6K measurements I had settled into (shortest spacer, middle ring). For the circumference of the tube, I went with the measurement provided for the CB6K, though as anyone who owns one knows, it’s wider than it is tall. For tube length, I measured my CB6K configuration and subtracted 5mm since the CB6K’s tube is tapered and there’s a bit of wasted space toward the end that never gets filled.
What I’ve ended up with is a much more forgiving device than the CB6K, though it looks more severe. Even though the tube is shorter, the internal volume is greater due to the the Steelheart’s tube being closer to a true circle in shape versus the CB6K’s oval. In addition, since the Steelheart’s tube is blunt and rounded, I find erections fill it more efficiently. I have no way of knowing this for sure, but I’d guesstimate that only about 40-50% of my erection could fill the CB6K while it feels like closer to 60-70% fills the Steelheart. It’s an entirely different sensation. The CB6K was rather brutal in the way it arrested erections and ended up stuffing a lot of it back up into my body. With the Steelheart, I have the sensation of achieving something close to a full erection, though with a satisfying amount of restraint. Due to that and the more lifelike curve of the tube, I find myself stroking the Steelheart more like a real cock when I’m hard. All for nothing, of course, since I can’t feel anything. It’s significantly frustrating, though in a different way.
In retrospect, I might have been able to move to a smaller ring and tighter tube, but the jump from where I was to the next size down seemed pretty steep. I might order a smaller ring at some point (assuming I don’t need to send the whole thing back for that), but I’m pretty pleased with how it turned out.
Other random observations:
My previous comment about the PA fixing being “marvelous” was premature. It’s true that, when the PA ring is secured, I can’t feel a thing. It’s awesome. However, the damned ring doesn’t stay on the fixing. At some point I’ll post a picture, but As you can see in the picture, the fixing consists of thick stainless wire that runs down the left side of the tube and curves across the end before coming back up the right side a little. I think the issue is it doesn’t come far enough back up the right side since I know the PA ring is in place when I put it on, but it’s always slipped off when I check later. This is a significant disappointment. However…
Other than that, everything’s hunky dory. I feel like I could wear this thing indefinitely and Belle and I are both very happy with how it looks. I’ll post further developments as they unfold…
I’ve been wearing the new Steelworxx Steelheart for a little over eight hours now. Long enough to make some initial impressions:
I’m sure I’ll have lots more to say about it as time goes one. Tonight will be the first real test as the penile plumbing goes through a full cycle at about 4:30 AM. I will eventually get around to writing it all out, comparing it as much as possible to the CB6K since I have lots of experience wearing that and it’s so popular, along with many pictures. In the mean time, it’s…ah…well, kinda busy.
If you want to see a picture of it in situ, then you should be one of my Facebook friends of follow me on Twitter (links at the bottom of the page). I posted a sneak peek there. Otherwise, you’ll have to wait until Thursday.
The other night at dinner, I offhandedly asked Belle if I could get a steel device. Even though the chrome CB6K was supposed to be the (relatively) inexpensive way to scratch my stainless steel itch, I’ve still been hankering for a real metallic solution. To my surprise, she told me to tell her how much one would be and she’d think about it.
This morning, I priced out a Steelworxx Steelheart device from Germany. I spec’d it with a 45 mm A-ring and a tube 35 mm in diameter with a 105 mm total length. This is comparable to the combination of spacer and ring I’m currently sporting, though the tube is a bit shorter to account for some space in the end of the CB6K that never get’s filled. I added an integrated lock to help reduce overall bulk and clankiness, a PA fixing, and a smooth, more rounded edge to the tube in order to make it more comfortable. All in, this ended up being €281.71 (plus €17 for international shipping). In real money, that turns into $424.91. Quite the investment, but if I’m wearing it 75% of the time (as I have been lately), it’ll average out over time.
I told Belle the damage and she told me to buy it. Just like that! Minutes later, I had completed the transaction and ordered my new steel chastity device. Within half an hour, I had received a personal confirmation from the proprietor of Steelworxx, Dietmar Posledni. Since the Steelheart has a round hole in the end of the tube, I requested a slot more like the one found in the CB6K so my PA ring can (occasionally) find a place to go when the meat’s filling the tube and Dietmar needed to know the measurements of what I wanted. This kind of prompt, personal service was something I had read as others had related their stories about Steelworxx devices. It certainly helps one feel as thought they’re getting their money’s worth.
I don’t know if I’ll be able to tolerate the PA security device, but I figured it was worth a shot. The “fixing”, as it’s called on the Steelworxx site, consists of a thin metal rod that it secured through the two pins on the tube which, in turn, lock into place on the A-ring. The rod appears to go down the left side of the tube before dropping down at the end and up the right side a bit. The PA ring goes over the rod and is fixed in place toward the end of the tube. To me, it looks like it’ll hold the ring higher up the tube than the PA cable does on my CB6K. Hopefully, that’ll result in a tolerable fit.
So anyway, that’s the story. I need to measure the slot in the CB6K’s tube and figure out if I want Dietmar to modify the standard design. I may decide to just leave it as is since I really, really like the look of the near-fully enclosed tube.
I asked for a quick release yesterday morning in order to do short inspection and thorough cleaning. Like last time, I found a little surprise. On the shaft of the cock, in the same location the corners of the KSD-G3 make contact, there were two little raw spots. They hadn’t broken the skin, but there was obvious irritation. I felt something that morning, but it was a mild pinching sensation. I’ve never experienced this type of reaction from the KSD and assume it’s related to the rougher interior surface of the chrome tube. Next time, I may forgo the KSD as see how that works, though I like having it in there because it helps keep the cock positioned well.
In any event, Belle let me stay out for a brief recuperative period. I’ll probably be back in by Sunday night or Monday morning at the latest since she’s going to LA next week and I’m not to be free when she’s not around. I find that the device helps keep my arousal in check and once it’s off my desires flame up like a smoldering fire suddenly given oxygen. I was way horny last night. I more or less was able to control myself and not be annoying, but she could tell.
I offered to rub her feet again and found that the prospect of doing it really turned me on. More and more non-sexual contact and activities provide an outlet for me now. Rubbing her feet has always been nice, but I’ve never felt a charge of energy around just the idea of doing it like I did yesterday. Later, in bed, I rubbed the living fuck out of her feet for a good 45 minutes and added a few new flourishes she really seemed to appreciate. It made her very relaxed and, I hoped, ready for some action.
I got lucky. She wanted an orgasm. Excessive horniness aside, I was able to slow down and savor the experience. I get no incidental contact with her breasts anymore, let alone her pussy, so those times in which she allows me to touch them have become so much more important. I lapped and suckled and simply enjoyed her nipples while I pressed as much of my body against as much of hers as I could. I kept my focus north of the Mason-Dixon line, so much so that by the time I started to touch her between the legs, her wetness had already soaked though her pajama bottoms. Slipping under, I felt that she was wetter than she’s been in a while. All of this left the cock so, so hard with what seemed like the distant memory of being inside her. I actually have been inside her, but it’s been a long, long time since I was in there and doing what I wanted rather than what she wanted. After just a few moments of manual stimulation, she pushed me over and told me she was going to fuck me.
It only lasted for a minute or two before she came. I got close, but was able to hold it in (mostly because she stopped fucking in the nick of time). Regardless, once she pulled off of me, I leaked a healthy squirt. I did not come, though. My arousal was like a ringing in my ears. Once it was time to sleep, I latched onto her and held tight, hard cock between us.
Thursday morning, as I was getting ready to leave on my trip, Belle took me into the bathroom to lock the CB6K onto my body. I’ve gone into it before with less than full enthusiasm, but this time I really didn’t want to wear it. I was going to be driving for many hours to get to an event where I’d be socializing with dozens of people and speaking before hundreds. It would have been much more convenient to not have a bunch of plastic down my pants. Regardless, she said she likes it when I’m locked up – likes the extension of her control and knowing what I’m incapable of doing – and it’s entirely her prerogative to determine when I’m wearing it and when I’m not. So wear it I did.
There’s a lot written about that moment in which the sub hears the lock on his cock click shut and the feelings it engenders in him. I have to admit, most of the time I’m happy she’s taking control and locking me up so the actual sound of the lock closing doesn’t usually generate any extra feelings. This time, though, I felt the click. It sent a shiver down my spine. She knew I didn’t want it on but she put it on me anyway. Not only was I willingly submitting to her control, she was actively requiring I do so. It was thrilling. And it was done. As soon as it was over, any feeling of displeasure left me. I was as she wanted me to be and there was no point worrying about it anymore.
To help make the hours of driving bearable, I wore my loosest pants and no underwear. Normally, I don’t like going commando while packing plastic as the inner seams of the pants tend to rub uncomfortably against the skin of my scrotum, but find underwear can limit the freedom of movement of the device and pushes it back into the flesh at the root of the cock while sitting. In my loose pants and with the total freedom of movement, I drove for a very long time and felt very little discomfort from the device.
Perhaps contributing to my reticence towards being imprisoned was the sex we had the night before. Belle told me she wanted me to give her an orgasm before she went to sleep, so I (gratefully) started in using my usual proven method. I was free of the device and I found the contact with her body left the cock rock hard and straining.
After just enough time to get her warmed up and wet, she asked, “Is my cock hard?”
I ground it into her leg to let her know. It was very hard. With that, she pushed me back and started to fuck me. It happened very suddenly and I had to get myself in the right state of mind rather quickly. On the plus side, she was able to fuck me freely and long enough to arrive at a satisfying orgasm. On the minus side, as soon as she was done, I started to ejaculate copiously. I pulled out of her to try to keep it from happening, but the point of no return had already been passed. I spurted into her shallowly and all over her outer lips even as I fought against the contractions.
What I can’t say for certain is whether it was an actual orgasm or not. It was at least ruined, at most only partial. I didn’t really feel like I had come immediately afterward, but in the days since, I seemed to have lost the feeling of being denied for a month. I feel like I’ve gone back to the start of my denial, but it’s also the case that my trip knocked me pretty well out of my headspace anyway, so that might be a coincidence and not a result of Wednesday’s emissions. In any event, I didn’t have permission to do any of it, so I count it as a failure on my part.
On my way home yesterday, I found my hand dropping to my lap and absentmindedly tracing the flare of the CB6K’s head and subtle curve of its hard, short shaft under the fabric of my pants. While doing so, the words “my new cock” drifted through my head, unbidden. I’ve worn it so much over the past month with only a few short periods of freedom that it’s almost become an extension of my body. Combined with the enforced nature of this most recent stint and the way in which the new chrome device hides the thing it protects, I find that I really do feel like my current state is my normal state. It’s like she’s taken advantage of the fact that I’ve given her the cock to have it enhanced, improved, replaced with something of her own design. Something she likes better. Thanks to her, I’m not like other men. I can’t do the things they can. But she likes it this way, so I do, too.
I crawled into bed with her as soon as I got home last night and felt myself slip into a warm bath of sub energy. I tucked my head into her chest and wrapped my arms around her waist, feeling the heat of her body. I was very happy to be back there, in my place, as her Thumper. She gently pushed her knee against the hard cage that had been a constant reminder of my position while I was gone. I was home, I was happy to be with her, and I’m anxious to get back into the swing of things.
I’m going to be away from Belle for four nights starting tomorrow at a conference and she apparently doesn’t trust me to be alone with the cock since she told me last night she was going to lock me up before I left. I had been asking what her intentions were for a few days since I’m not sure I entirely trust myself either, but I have to say hearing that I would definitely be under control came as a bit of a shock (and not one I’m especially looking forward to). It’s going to be a pain in the ass since I’ll be driving a lot and publicly speaking and using men’s rooms, etc. Then again, this is the deal I signed up for.
In anticipation of my renewed imprisonment, I did a little work on the chrome CB6K. Since I’m comfortably settled into a ring/spacer combination that works, I chopped the two pins on either side of the device down to size. They’re designed to work with the longest spacer, but I’m using the second smallest at this point with no plans to move up. That little bit of extra plastic makes a difference in the tight confines of one’s crotch.
When I got out last time, I mentioned I had developed a small sore on the corona of the glans, but that turned out to be a clogged pore (aka, penis pimple – something I didn’t even know was possible). I assume the excess paint that rubbed off onto my skin is what caused that, but it’s totally cleared up now. To help avoid that in the future, I’ve scrubbed the inside of the tube out with a soapy sponge. However, as you can see, the furthest reaches of the tube still aren’t as smooth as the unpainted version. Time will tell if the color leeches off again.
The last thing I’m waiting to hear about with regard to this trip (and the rest of my life, I suppose) is whether or not I’ll be allowed to access porn. Looking at porn is a well-established hotel room activity for me (along with about 99% of the traveling male public), but thanks to the do-gooders who leave comments here, Belle’s considering putting an end to that. So, you know, thanks everyone for placing that little bug in her ear. I appreciate it.1
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1 Not. ↩