Mailbag

Welcome to part 732 of an ongoing series of posts where I occasionally remember to answer questions sent in by my readers.

Zel zipped:

I need a piece of advice, which device is more stealth? Holy trainer or the looker?

I’m inclined to go for th looker, but looking at the pics on ur site it seems holy trainer places the tube almost vertical meaning it’s doesn’t create a bulk down there. Is the looker that stealthy?

They’re both very stealthy. Neither has any moving parts so sound is not an issue. I guess, if I had to, I’d give the Holy Trainer a slight edge on the visibility scale, but unless you have a really big cage on the Looker 02 (which you probably won’t), it’s still pretty much a wash. So, based on stealth, it’s a horse a piece. You’ll need to make your decision based on some other factor (like if you want a titanium tube shoved up your penis).

Pat partook:

I think I know a way to make the Holytrainer 99% secure, assuming you don’t break any piece. What is required is a cock ring that you put on before putting on the Holytrainer. In my case, I’ve experimented a bit with folded paper to emulate a cock ring, and found that a ring that has a circumference of 20 cm and a height of 4 cm will prevent me from reaching my flaccid penis and drag it out. It will not hurt at all either. Problem for me with trapped ball devices is that I can drag them out from the body. This creates a gap. Then I can put a pencil or something and push the penis out of the cage through the peehole, then reach in with my fingers and drag it out. With a gap filling penis ring like this, I can’t reach in with my fingers, and there will not be enough space for the penis to escape.

Have you thought about this idea before? I was wondering if you know how where I can buy a ring like this. It should be quite wide to not squeeze this sensitive part of the penis, I think it should be somewhat flexible to, perhaps silicone. But it shouldn’t be so flexible that it can be stretched over the Holytrainer.

Since you’re an expert I want to give you this idea so that you may help me dig into it 🙂 I also gave the idea to the Holytrainer makers so that they might create a product in the future.

OK, well, not to be too much of an ass, but you could just try not pulling it out of the device. I get the need for security. I get the hotness of being in a thing from which you cannot escape. Truly, I do. But at some point, you need to buy off on what the device implies as well as what it makes physically possible/impossible.

Now that that’s out of my system, I have a silicone cock ring that’s not stretchy enough to easily get back over a locked Holy Trainer (but I probably could if I had to). I thought it was from Gear Essentials but I don’t see it on their site now. Not having tried what you’re describing, I can’t say how effective it’d be, but I maintain that unless the penis is physically held in place within the device through a piercing, there’s no such thing as an inescapable trapped-ball chastity device. They can be made harder to get out of, but not impossible.

I could also see how some would not like your approach as it would make the device sit out further from the body. Also, I’d be afraid of pinching. I really hate pinching. But whatevs! If it works for you, awesome. Maybe someone else will find your approach helpful.

Mark mumbled:

I have a question I hope you can help me with. Last year we bought a mature metal jailbird as we wanted something I could wear permantly. We measured carefully, sent back for a few adjustments and all seems to fit very well. The problem is I always develop a sore spot after a few days, normally 3, under the ring just away from the top and have to remove the device 😦 . We have tried oval as well as normal ring and the same problem always occurs ( it does not with CB ). Mature metal have not heard of this and no one else seems to

Have you heard of this? We love the metal device but I just can’t wear for more than a few days. Is it because single ring do you think double will solve this?

My first thought it stubble. Are you trying to stay smooth down there? I find that about three days after shaving that the stubble comes up and gets pressed back into me during erections. It can be quite painful and, if I try and keep the spot smooth of hair, will eventually develop into a hotspot that requires I remove the device. That’s why I really only shave every few weeks (if that).

However, if it was that, it would happen in other devices too, not just metal (unless the Jail Bird is tighter in the ring than others you’ve worn). I assume you’re using a long-lasting lube like silicone (not baby oil and not petroleum jelly and nothing water-based). Could you have an metal allergy?

If it’s not fit and it’s not lube and it’s not shaving, it could be your anatomy is, for whatever reason, just not compatible. That’d suck, if true.

4her2uz cryptically capered:

Hi there, been reading your blog for some time now, even went to the very beginning to see what I missed. Your insights on cages have been more than helpful, and allowed me to get a MM jailbird to fit on first attempt. Your interactions with your wife have been an inspiration to how I view my chastity lifestyle and has really saved me a lot of frustration and resentment. I know I would have been like you, wanting to have a release date set, no early release, etc.. But have went with your way of “its not up to me”. If its one day, one week, one month, one year…its her decision. Even though l am kinda an ass after I cum, and I lose my fuzzy feeling, if she wants it to happen, that’s what’s gonna happen.

I even started a blog after she agreed to be my keyholder to hopefully help others like you have helped me. I had looked for awhile, but most chastity info was based on maids, sissification, cuckolds, and pets.

Anyway, you gave me the tools to try this for real, I’ve never been this open, talkative, sharing, or happy with someone I love before. She loves it as well, she has been with cheaters before, and this gives her peace of mind. Granted I know I could still cum or get my penis out, but could never get the whole thing off.

Anyway besides the thank you, I wanted to ask you a question about your wife…Once you told her about your chastity idea and she agreed to live this way with, did any of her kinks that she told you about start to actually turn you on?

Example…I was never into spanking, collars, or restraints…but once she told me about them, I am into it totally. Anyway, did your chastity let her reveal kinks, and even though you weren’t into that before, change your thoughts about them?

My Belle has not been forthcoming with too many kinks, per se. She’s admitted a preference for cocks that are bigger than the erect penis I was born with and she’s toyed with the idea of taking a boyfriend on the side, but other than that, no, she hasn’t shared any kinks or predilections.

Regardless, she has embraced a version of femdom that works for her which it really important. It has to work for her and, even if it’s not the cliched version we read about on the web, it’s very hot for me because it’s authentic and makes her happy. In a way, that’s a kind of “revealed kink” in that I had to adjust my preconceptions as to how I’d be dominated so that she was comfortable doing it.

Also, as you say, the amount of communication that comes from being able to successfully integrate a kink like chastity into one’s relationship has all kind of positive side-effects. Great that it works for you! Glad the blog was a help to you both.

Simon says:

My partner and I have entered into male chastity and we are both loving it! However after a tease and denial session how do you get the penis back into its cage? I saw a video where she puts cream over his cock and it seems to become flaccid quite quickly, is this some sort of numbing cream? How do you get your penis back into its cage without orgasm?

Numbing cream takes a long time to work, I find. And even so, I am sometimes so turned on that even a numb penis will stay hard (sometimes because it’s numb). The best advice I have is one of two options. First, a swift kick in the nuts. But some might have a hard time with that. The other idea is a bag of frozen peas (or an icepack or bag of ice or whatever). No hard penis can withstand the affects of something colder than 32º. A few minutes with icy peas on your pecker should do the trick. Just move fast after the cold goes away.

Locked in the Desert dissertated:

Keyholder has locked me in a Holy Trainer 2, 40 mm ring, short cage. The fit seems perfect. However if I start to get aroused it is most painful. Keyholder inquires if I am to be unlocked when receiving anal sex or if this is just something I mentally need to work through when he desires to penetrate me anally. I have been locked for 7 days without orgasm.

Painful how? Like a testicle pain? Or is it in the tube?

Fitting a penis in a hard device is difficult because there are so many variables. On the one hand, I’d say pain is an integral part of the chastity experience. I really believe that. But it can’t be pain that’s too intense for you to take (and that level is purely personal and varies from person to person). I know when Belle and I have sex and she keeps me in the device that I am often feeling a lot of pain. As much if not more than the daily 4:00 AM pressure test. But it passes and I accept it as part of my situation. Some men, however, cannot take the pain. They don’t, like me, take a certain comfort or strength from it. If that’s you, you could look into a silicone device or you might need a bigger ring (if it’s pain in your balls) and/or a bigger tube (if you have a really big dick).

Michael mentioned:

So I’ve been though (like most) a few devices in my search for the perfect fit, so far my favourite is the Holy Trainer V2 with a short shaft and large ring. I tend to be pretty short shafted (just the head or smaller when soft) but large balled (I think it’s actually large scrotum). So far I’m happy with what I’ve got device wise, but I’ve been thinking about getting a PA.

If i were to modify my trainer to allow a PA ring to hold my penis forward do you suspect there’d be any issues with that? Assuming of course I wait the appropriate time for healing, would a constant gentle tug forward cause a PA to migrate or irritate? I definitely CAN fill out the cage comfortablely while soft I just don’t tend to extend fully into the cage which causes some issues during urination.

I found that kind of pulling you describe to be absolutely excruciating. Like, debilitatingly so. When a penis retracts, it’s not just shrinking. There’s a tendon called the suspensory ligament that actually pulls back with a slow and steady pressure. No matter how well you’re healed, the pull on your piercing will be very painful. Not only that, but if you were somehow able to deal with the pain, over time it could cause your piercing to migrate. Do yourself a favor and don’t Google migrated PA piercings.

I did a lot of experimenting with this when I was in the CB6K back in the day. I know of where I speak. At least for me. Use caution.

Babyjosh64 said over on Fetlife:

Hey I have a question if you do not mind. I have tried several Chastity devices such as the holytrainer, CB-6000s. In which I can slip out of all of them because my penis so small. What would you recommend I get?

A PA piercing and an appropriate device to take advantage of it.

Time4Kink said, also on the Fetlife:

I am having a problem with the v2. After wearing it for 24-48 hrs I get redness on the top and tip of my penis. It’s a glowing red and sore. What causes this? Have you heard of this before?

Hmm. Sounds like a bad fit? Or maybe a hygiene issue? Or is there some roughness inside the tube? Could be your cock is too big for the tube or something. Or maybe you’re very sensitive to urine being in contact with your skin.

Buck_Pup on Fetlife said:

So I wound up getting the Holy Trainer, and it’s definitely awesome! 😀

One question about a problem I’ve had with this and the cb6k.. is there any way you’ve found to avoid the irritation when fabric brushes up against the tip that’s exposed at the end of the cage? Or do you just end up getting used to it, because right now it’s hard to pick out something to wear that wont keep brushing up against the tip painfully.

Yeah, that just sucks. For whatever reason, I don’t have that issue as much in the Holy Trainer but I sure do in the Jail Bird. I find wearing underwear a must and it needs to be somewhat thick, especially in the pouch. Flimsy fabric or going commando are a no-go.

That’s all I got for now. Got a question or a comment or whatever? Send it to me.  Maybe I’ll get around to reading it.

 

Rigid Chastity Halfshell

There’s a new (to me) player in the stainless steel chastity device game called Rigid Chastity out of Otwock, Poland (just south of Warsaw). I think it was someone on the Twitter who first brought them to my attention.

As of right now, they sell eight devices on their site. Four are classified as “Chastity Devices PA” since they’re designed to work with PA piercings, but they all stick straight out from the body in an odd way that may be sorta hot for scene plate but would seem to make them impracticable for lifestyle wear (in which case, why bother with the PA?). [EDIT – They’re supposed to be supported by the PA. I see that now. I blame my old eyes on not seeing if before. Still, if they’re made of stainless, I can’t imagine that’s in any way comfortable or tolerable.] They have another category called “Chastity devices,” one of which also has a PA security option, but the other three don’t. At least they’re curved like you’d expect to make them wearable all the day long.

Then there’s a third category called “Modular chastity devices” in which it’s indicated there are seven options but only four are displayed. Not sure what makes them “modular.” At first I thought maybe they were making stainless steel devices with interchangeable parts but they say on the site they’re custom made and require fitting if options are added after the fact.

All in all, their products appear to be knock-offs of Mature Metal and Steelworxx designs at perhaps slightly better prices (though it’s hard to tell with currency fluctuations and option costs) which, all by itself, would make them barely worth a mention. But. They have a PA security design I’ve never seen before and it’s really interesting.

halfshell-2-700x700It’s been implemented in one device in particular that has caught my eye. It’s called the Halfshell and, from the front, looks like a Steelworxx Steeheart (even in how it uses the now ubiquitous integrated brass lock) but, from the side, you can see there’s something different going on. The backside of the tube is cut away and there’s an extra ring with a bar that comes down the bottom of the penis shaft. That’s the cool bit. That bar. Rigid Chastity has an extra piece that fits over the tube’s pins and goes through the PA from underneath. It doesn’t attach to PA jewelry the way Belle’s Steelheart does. The fixing is integrated into the device. That’s made my inner chastity gearhead all giddy.

PA fixing is maybe the trickiest part of chastity device design. I’ve noodled over it myself quite a bit and it led me to a PA fixing design Steelworxx sells to this day. It works really well, but it’s not perfect. It depends on a U-shaped bar that goes down into the tube with the penis and through a PA ring which allows the penis some degree of movement (which is good) but also will occasionally cause pinching where the jewelry meets the bar or when the skin on the penis shaft get’s caught between the bar and the tube during erections (which is bad). Rigid’s design seems minimize the pinching possibility. Thanks to the cut-away tube, there’s a minimum of area for the fixing bar to pinch against the tube. Plus, their design utilizes a single bar, not two. It also fits over the pins like mine does in a way that makes the device (at least sans penis) look more complicated and busy, but is undoubtedly just as secure.

The only downside to their fixing that I can imagine from a comfort perspective is, since it goes directly into the PA piercing, that the penis, as is its wont, can’t lengthen or shrink over the course of the day. This particularity of the penis is what drove me to design a fixing that would allow a bit of movement. But it’s also true that when I designed it I was wearing a tube that was altogether too long for the penis I was born with. I presume that a correctly measured tube and its Rigid-style fixing wouldn’t need to much variability in design.

So I ordered one. It was just too intriguing to pass up. If Belle likes it, it’ll be hers. If she doesn’t, I’ll wear it enough to write a review then I’ll put the Steelheart back on.

Unfortunately, Rigid’s ordering experience hasn’t been fantastic. I got an email saying my account had been set up but not one confirming my order. I was charged, but when I log in to their site, my account records don’t indicate I’ve placed any orders. Worrisome. I’ve contacted them through their site and will update this post when I hear something back.*

So, how about you? Any interest in their designs? Are you wearing a Rigid device right now? What do you think? Let me know in the comments below.

*UPDATE: I did receive an email from them. Their site does not confirm orders automatically. All is well.

Mailbag

New submissions from readers:

I was wondering you thoughts on Mature Metal’s Jailbird outfitted with one of the anti-pullout pins (maybe even a second base ring) vs. a Steelheart with the penisring (http://steelworxx.de/Penisring-51p.html).

I know without a PA piercing the inescapable trapped ball device doesn’t exist, but I want to get as close as possible. I have seen mixed reviews on MM’s anti-pullout pins but I’ve seen absolutely nothing about Steelworxx’s penisring. Frankly, I don’t see how the ring would stay on when flaccid but I’m still curious about it.

I am currently locked in a Birdlocked Mini, my first device, and am looking to purchase my next device… one of the above hopefully. Since you are coming from a place of experience I would love your take on the two devices described above.

Both those devices work by trying to bunch up the flaccid penis skin making pull out more difficult, not unlike the KSD-G3 for the CB6K. The KSD is the only thing I have first-hand experience with and it does make things a bit more secure down there (and feel more secure, which may be more important since security absent a piercing is mostly in one’s head), though, of course, a few seconds of fiddling in the shower can defeat all these kinds of devices. The downside to the KSD is that it would often leave abrasions on the shaft of the penis from when it would try to become hard in the CB6K and press against it with some force. I would assume MM’s anti-pull out pins would be even more likely to do something similar. Honestly, I never liked the look of them. They seem like they’d be quite painful (and not in the good way). The Steelworxx penis ring might be somewhat more gentle, but again, I’ve never used one. I considered it back in the day, but by the time I ordered I already had the PA and didn’t need it.

I wonder if one of these guys couldn’t fashion a KSD-like insert out of stainless? I know Dietmar at Steelworxx will try anything, but the cost might be prohibitive.

Here’s another question along similar lines…

I have been reading some (not all) entries of your blog and found them very informative. I myself am into chastity play with my wife. We only started very recently (last year) and my first device was a Looker 02 from Steelworxx with the penis-plug. The plug did extend quite a bit (around 1″) through the A-Ring, so this added a lot of security.

However for various reasons I needed to be circumcised. Now the scars are healing and me and my wife will get pierced. I will get a PA and she will get a vertical hood piercing.

Since the Looker with the penis-plug is not possible with a PA and we were intrigued by the added PA-security, we plan on getting a Steelheart (or Steelheart 2) with an internal PA-fixture (the one you designed).

I hope you don’t mind me asking you a few questions since it seems you actually own and wear just that type of device.

Basically it is about measuring. I am unsure about the length of the device. When measuring for the Looker I took the total flaccid length and subtracted half an inch. This worked quite well and the tip was comfortable at the front nearly all the times. For diameter I chose the flaccid diameter plus the Plug-diameter. However this turned out to be slightly on the loose side. It was no problem and it was comfortable but there was a little space around while flaccid.

Anyway, my questions are, how do you measure the length and diameter when you have a PA? Do you need to add a bit to the length and diameter to accommodate the PA?

How far do you think you can pull the device down while wearing it. Do you fear ppl. with shorter tools than yours would be able to access the PA?

Sorry for babbling at you and I hope it is not too much trouble to share your information. But you seem to be the only source I can find 🙂

When I measured for our second Steelheart I went much shorter on the tube but added a bit to my normal flaccid length since I needed to accommodate the PA ring and the fixing. In truth, I may have added too much. In my opinion, you probably shouldn’t make it shorter than your normal flaccid length. The circumference is trickier since you also want to leave room in there for the fixing which does take some of the space up. I find the penis will sometimes knock around inside the tube I wear, but it’s often. I don’t think I’d want it any tighter. You also need to think about pinching and such. I assume that less circumference would make that more prevalent.

So, short story, keep it just a bit longer than your flaccid length and just a tad bigger around. The other thing you need to think about is the gauge of the ring. My PA accommodates 4 GA jewelry, but if I wear a ring that big while in the device I get too much pinching at the end. If I scale back to 8 GA, things are a lot better.

Regarding how much I can pull out, I can get just to the edge of the penis’s corona, but that’s it (see for yourself). You don’t need to worry about getting tools down there. It’s impossible. Even if you could somehow get the ball out of the ring, you’d never ever get it back in and would eventually get busted. There’s not nearly enough room in there to maneuver. That said, I don’t think getting the ring out is even possible. That would be an advantage of using a thicker ring since the ball would be really hard to remove without tools. Hope that helps.

Question about your Looker 02. How long were you able to wear it at a stretch? Did the urethral tube ever cause you any problems?

Question, comment or general chit-chat? Use the feedback page!

Bill’s query

From a reader named Bill:

I enjoy your blog and have been reading for a couple  years now.  Thanks for your insights.  My wife and I have been playing at this for the past two years and she surprised me this year by saying she wants me in a device pretty much full time for a month or two at a time.

I have a Jailbird from Mature Metal.  I’m not pierced and am skiddish about doing so.  However, the thought of being absolutely unable to get out is driving me more toward getting one.

I’ve seen some urethral inserts on some devices that would seem to also do the job of preventing pullout.  My question –  you have any experience with these and can they be worn pretty much full time?  If you don’t, do you know of a site that has reviewed these devices?

First of all, good for you and your wife! Many women seem to end up where your wife is now.

Inescapability is a heady concept. It’s one thing to be in your device because you’re being good and are choosing not to defeat it but something else entirely to know you can’t get out no matter how badly you want to. Some guys don’t need it or are too squicked out by the steps they need to take to ensure it, but others (like me) kink on it so hard they’re willing to do what’s necessary.

Of course, I don’t (yet) have experience with devices that are secured via urethral tubes. There’s much controversy about them on the forums and sites I’ve visited with some saying it’s an invitation to a urinary infection (though I can’t recall reading that anyone actually came down with one due to a device equipped with a tube). The bigger issue seems to be that some men lack the natural oils necessary to keep the tube in a state where the surrounding meat can move freely as the penis expands and contracts. I have read reports of the urethra “drying out” for some guys and sticking to the insert causing discomfort and even bleeding. This is not a universal complaint, though. There are also reports by guys with no issues whatsoever. Problem is, devices of this kind are among the most expensive and there’s only one way to find out what kind of guy you are.

Based on my experience with PA jewelry, I suspect I may have a “dry” urethra. I find that the larger rings occasionally will stick and stop moving freely so I assume an insert would do the same. It’s the main reason I haven’t tried that kind of device (when, on balance, it’s a fantastically expensive experiment).

PA security is not without issues either. There’s the occasional pinching and it takes up room in the tube (both the ring and whatever it’s secured with). But, if you’re asking for my advice, I’d get poked. The event itself is way, way less harrowing than you’re imagining (over in a jiffy and it heals relatively quickly). Once it’s done and healed up, it is, based on my experience, the best way to totally secure your meat inside a device.